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Pregnancy

House guests at 37 weeks....advice welcome.

15 replies

MrsPatMustard · 08/12/2013 16:23

I'm currently 32+6 with DC No1. A couple of months back I agreed to accommodate some friends for 2 days and 1 night when I'm approx 37 weeks pregnant. (They live in on the continent, will be in the UK for New Year and and will be passing through our area on their way to the ferry terminal.) At the time I was feeling absolutely fine and naively underestimated how tough I might find pregnancy during the final few weeks.

Yesterday I had a lousy day - the baby was pressing on my ribs, lungs and kidneys and I was in a lot of discomfort. In the end, the only thing that helped was going back to bed for a few hours. It's the first time since the morning sickness phase where I've actually felt rough and I'm suddenly aware that these kinds of incidents will probably increase in frequency in the last few weeks.

I'm now thinking i've probably made a mistake in offering to host people this late in pregnancy and am wondering if i should cancel. I think they may well be a bit upset if I do, which worries me. But i also don't want to have to look after visitors and be social if I feel rubbish. (My friend can be a little high-maintenance and doesn't easily fit around other people's routines.) Have any other Mumsnetters had any similar experiences and what would you do in my position?

OP posts:

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Blondie276 · 08/12/2013 16:31

I would say you need to look after yourself and do whatever you feel is right for you!
The last few weeks are totally exhausting and so I would either be upfront with them and explain they can stay but they must be aware your not up to much socially or physically so you won't be 'waiting on them' or cancel.
I wouldn't just let them stay and knacker yourself out- you are cooking a very important roast and need all the energy you can get!!!!

LittlePeaPod · 08/12/2013 16:47

Op I am 36+3 and I think you are been really brave to host anyone at 37 weeks. I am uncomfortable, heavy, suffering insomnia, really tired, amongst other wonderful pregancy symptons and my idea of hell would be to host someone. But, maybe I am selfish

Personally I would try to explain to your friend how you feel and that you cant accommodate this time. Good luck Op I feel your pain.

NomDeClavier · 08/12/2013 16:50

Hopefully baby will have started to engage so you'll feel a bit better.

Be very clear with them that you're doing them a favour, while heavily pregnant, and they are not to expect anything though.

I've done it, it was fine. In fact I felt better towards the end when the pressure had let up a bit.

Noodles123 · 08/12/2013 16:52

I think you will likely be fine. I am 35 weeks now, and still more than capable of having people to stay, but maybe just warn them and say you won't be up for late nights etc.

Rubberstamp · 08/12/2013 16:53

I'm 37 weeks and have different people staying for the next 3 weeks. They'll just have to understand that you may need a nap sometimes and won't be waiting on people hand and foot. Basically people welcome to stay but they need robe aware to make their own tea and coffee.

whereisshe · 08/12/2013 16:56

You have to go with your gut feeling on this one I think, it depends on you and the situation. We had a friend stay overnight a few weeks ago (I'm currently 39+3) and it was fine, but then he's low maintenance and I just went to bed when I felt like it and left DH and friend chatting until 1am.

But I've had quite an easy pregnancy and DH did all the cooking / cleaning up etc - if you think that your friends might not be straightforward to host, or you won't be up to it, then I think this is a time in your life when it is 100% ok to be selfish and tell them they can't stay!

PorkPieandPickle · 08/12/2013 17:40

If theyre staying at 37 weeks, don't forget you might not be pregnant- you could be in labour or have a newborn!!

You are braver than me!! (But I'm sure it will all be fine- I could possibly have hosted guests at 37 weeks; currently 40)

schokolade · 08/12/2013 17:46

Depends a little. Are they good friends? I am having a good friend to stay at about 37 weeks, but I know she will be absolutely fine if I need to go and sleep in the middle of the day/have a screaming new born etc. And will look after herself. So if they're close enough that you can be honest with them and not feel pressured, I think fine.

How easily could they find somewhere else to stay at this stage?

TobyLerone · 08/12/2013 17:51

I'm 36 weeks and I'd definitely host someone overnight. No longer than that, I don't think.

quackojuliet · 08/12/2013 18:20

i would go with your own gut reaction of how you feel. you'll probably be relieved not to be dreading it!
i have just had 2 good low maintenance friends over for a few hours and at 35 weeks this was really knackering. mainly because i felt i had to tidy the house up a lot (it was a tip, to be honest...) and then people expect to be made tea etc.
unless you have a dh who would come forward to do the cooking, sort bedroom out etc i would probably cancel - better to do it now than closer to the time when they might have trouble finding a hotel/other friend to stay.
go with your gut with this one i reckon.

GColdtimer · 08/12/2013 19:09

This had reminded me of friends we had to stay with their 8 month old when I was 37 weeks pg with dd2. They were so besotted with their PFB I don't think they even noticed I did everything for them. I was knackered! I would say let them come but tell them not to expect any hosting and not much socialising. Set their expectations.

TheELFycatOnTheShelf · 08/12/2013 19:24

By 37 weeks DD1 was 5 days old...

Are your friends likely to be self sufficient? Can you prepare meals such as pasta sauces in advance and get them to do things like put their sheets in the wash on the last day? If not I'd warn them that they might need to find other accommodation.

seafoodudon · 09/12/2013 09:53

I've happily hosted friends and family up til the end with the last two pregnancies and will be with this one - BUT they have all been people that would happily make/strip their own beds and generally fend for themselves (and even do bits to help with the DC/around the house). I've had very easily pregnancies but still wouldn't be up for looking after high maintenance friends (but luckily not actually sure if I have any that fall into this category - family is a different story!).

Bkk13 · 09/12/2013 17:55

I hit a wall at 36 weeks and am now 37.5..... I'm so tired I can barely remember my own name. I'm pretty sure I napped this afternoon but again not 100% convinced!!! I've just cancelled a very dear friend coming to stay at the weekend and she was totally understanding of the situation. I think if they are good enough friends they'll understand and and if their not just worry about yourself! (This is the Only time you are able to be totally selfish!)

Good luck x

LittlePeaPod · 09/12/2013 20:24

I'm so tired I can barely remember my own name. I'm pretty sure I napped this afternoon but again not 100% convinced!!!

God I so so understand and agree with this statement. It's almost as though I had written it about myself....

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