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Weird stuff people say when they know you're pregnant...

(60 Posts)
peapop Fri 06-Dec-13 18:28:08

So, today we told everyone at work (me and DP work in same office) that we're pregnant! I'm 13+3 so have been dying for everyone to know!
Mostly had lovely happy positive responses but some just left me shock
"Were you trying or just practicing?" oh I'm sorry I didnt know it was appropriate to ask if you had regular sex with your other half!!!
"thats good its what you wanted as you're quite young" I'm 31 you fool.
"Well I never expected that of you" why not- you assume I'll make a bad mother?
"So thats why I always see you stuffing your face!" blush

I was also subjected to one of the oldest women in the office telling me how to care for my nipples if I intend to breast feed. She rarely talks to me but thinks its now ok to openly discuss my nipples in the office wtf?!!

I also had my 'bump' rubbed....erm thats just my tubby tummy but thanks for that!

emmac3616 Fri 06-Dec-13 18:44:23

Pregnancy gives people a whole new sense of entitlement to be inappropriate... comments, advice, looks.... not good!!! :-)

thezoo Fri 06-Dec-13 18:47:21

Lots of inappropriate bump rubbing for me even when it wasn't baby bump more like big lunch/bad gas bump smile

Also were me and my DP are both in our mid 20's we got a lot of "oh was that planned?"
and "accidents happen"

and in the middle of a busy office working with an X, my boss, supervisor and office youngsters being told about how "if i ever find blood, down there, it's probably a rectal tear"
not appropriate when Ive known her for 3/4 days and with 16 year olds in the office
x

lovelilies Fri 06-Dec-13 19:00:02

My boss, who knows dp also, asked if I wad keeping the baby! shock
WTAF? Although not entirely relevant, we are 33 and 41 respectively and very settled!

Cariad007 Fri 06-Dec-13 19:02:46

"You won't be able to do XYZ when you have a baby"
"Ooh getting bigger" (um yes, I had noticed)
"Was it planned?" (None of your damn business)
"I shouldn't be telling you this but..." Cue horror story of their friend who had a baby and it all went wrong or their friend whose partner left theme because having a baby was such a strain. Charming!

Incapinka Fri 06-Dec-13 19:03:22

My boss commented that my DH must be loving me being pregnant as my boobs had got bigger. She was the Head of HR (& stark raving bonkers)

sambababy Fri 06-Dec-13 19:04:30

My MIL went one step further than belly rubbing. She flat out, without warning, pulled my top up! shock why does pregnancy make people think that normal social rules no longer apply? every time she comes near me now i flinch lol. I love being pregnant but I'm only 18wks and already sick of all the sideways glances at my belly.

peapop Fri 06-Dec-13 19:07:21

I thought mine were bad blush how do folk think its ok to say these things ha ha

Ahh I had the boob one too "thought you'd either had a boob job or were pregnant" stop looking at my boobs ya perv!!

peapop Fri 06-Dec-13 19:08:42

Sam you need a 'hands off my bump' tshirt!!!!

DH & I went for a pizza the night we found out & the tables were very close together. I wanted to hug this wonderful secret & wanted time to get my head around it so we didn't speak about it directly but the woman at the next table must've twigged & told me that it was OK to carry on smoking - she had smoked through her pregnancies & her boys were over six foot!

"Shut up you stupid bat, I don't smoke" is what I wanted to say but didn't, just listened politely.

People do feel entitled to give their unwanted opinions. Suddenly you are public property.

Blankiefan Fri 06-Dec-13 19:23:38

My boss commenting on my new maternity dress (which I thought was lovely): "is it ok to say that youre looking...well...huge?,...if that dress was white we wouldn't need a screen for the projector..."

shock

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Fri 06-Dec-13 19:33:28

There are three appropriate things to say to a pregnant woman.

"Congratulations"

"You look lovely"

"How are you feeling?"

That's it. Ever. It is not appropriate to comment on her size or how much she eats, or to regale her with labour/breastfeeding horror stories, or to warn her that she'll never sleep again (whilst cackling gleefully).

I am 26 weeks with dc2. I really just want everyone to stfu.

ipswichwitch Fri 06-Dec-13 19:39:18

stupid comments will get worse I'm afraid - then if you're like me you get to 39 weeks and everything anyone says is downright fecking irritating. Also, if anyone was actually stupid enough to touch my bump now (health care professionals aside) they will probably get a smack in the gob.

ontherun is so correct saying that there are only 3 things that are appropriate to say to a pregnant woman.

SweetPea86 Sat 07-Dec-13 08:35:55

"Congratulations I thought you were still a virgin" just because I'm quite, a FELLA thought it was a good funny thing to say in front of all my work mates.

Been with my hubby 10 years so I'm clearly no Virgin Mary. So bloody rude!

"I also get asked was it planned." Erm non of your business.

Idiots absolute idiots

Cherrypopsickle Sat 07-Dec-13 11:07:48

A (male) work colleague asked me if we knew that we are having. I said no, but had a sneaking suspicion it might be a boy.

He replied "that means you have a penis inside you at this very moment".

I was dumbfounded. We're not close work colleagues and it wasn't a comment I had expected, not least from him.

I tried to laugh it off, and avoid him since!

theborrower Sat 07-Dec-13 11:09:35

My male boss (thankfully just a mat cover one, I don't still work with him) asked "Are you happy about that?". Err, yes thanks. If I wasn't planning on keeping it, I wouldn't be telling you in the first place.

How do people not realise that asking "was it planned?" is sooo inappropriate??

mlbear Sat 07-Dec-13 11:24:44

Yes its all totally inappropriate, but i doubt it'll ever stop sad a woman at work i rarely speak to shouted over the office as i walked in "morning fatty" ?! Not good as i had one of the worst night sleeps... Couldn't help myself &shouted back "really? Im effing pregnant. Not fat!" everyone looked at me like i was in the wrong?! Her friend saw me at lunch and said "is it too soon for the fat jokes then!?" yes there is a living person inside my stomach that will continue to grow, so i will continue to get bigger!
what goes thru ppl minds?
I wouldn't mind but these too ARE FAT! Im just pregnant smile

womma Sat 07-Dec-13 11:29:04

Congratulations! You will get really fed up with people asking if you know what you're having. The correct answer is 'yes, a baby'.

You'll laugh about all of this in years to come.

"Was it planned?" Of course; I thought "y'know what, I'm having a great time at uni and doing really well and I love going out for a few drinks - I think I should have a baby!". Of course it wasn't bloody planned.

"What did your mum say?". None of your business.

"If I got pregnant at 19 I'd have an abortion, it'd ruin my life". Good for you, I don't remember asking though.

"I couldn't be a mum at 19, it's too young". Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Trust me - if being pregnant gives people an excuse to be rude, being under 20 and pregnant gives them an excuse to forget everything they've ever learned about polite conversation.

Highlight has to be a lad on my course who I'm not close to at all and don't speak to very often (although he has aspergers, is generally a nice lad and I know he means well, which is why I didn't punch him), asking me "So - are you looking forwards to breastfeeding?" and "Your vagina will never be the same again".

My best friend keeps reminding me that it'll be the size of a pumpkin when I give birth. Thankfully I'm allowed to punch him wink

littlecrumb Sat 07-Dec-13 15:21:08

In early pregnancy I used to wonder why pregnant woman got so tetchy about comments and ppl touching there bump but now that I am 34 weeks I can totally understand! So fed up of "wow your small for a baby due in January!"

The other day I said to a customer helping them choose the right size dress for his wife "I am a size 8 so would go for an xsmall" then he said "well you used to be a size 8!" confused
I am still a size 8 with a bump actually! So annoying! And can strangers stop rubbing my bump! It's my body and it's so rude!
Felt good to get that off my chest smile

DinkyMole Sat 07-Dec-13 15:50:18

DFs mum and grandma both said they "weren't surprised". Not sure what that even means! I think they thought it was accidental too as they asked if I was pleased. I want to shout "IT WAS PLANNED!" grin

DinkyMole Sat 07-Dec-13 15:52:42

Oh and "what if it's ginger". When given I'm engaged to a ginger man, I don't think I'd have a problem with a ginger baby. And everyone is insisting it must be a girl. I have two sons. DF has two sons. It's probably going to be another son and we'll be over the moon.

We used a child minder (I'll call her jane) 2 days a week for ds1 when he was about 6. After a few weeks jane told me she was pregnant. My response 'do you know the father?'blushblushblushblushblush

I meant do I know the father? She called me a cheeky bitch which I fully deserved. I still feel mortified when I think about itblush

SweetPea86 Sat 07-Dec-13 17:20:30

Soaccidentprone LOL shouldn't laugh at your misfortune but I did a little. Least you know you said summit a tad out of line lol

Most people don't and think its acceptable to be rude

honeyharris Sun 08-Dec-13 20:07:16

My sister asked me by text if it was an 'unexpected surprise' - as if it's that unlikely that I would deliberately have a baby!

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