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No space left on the NTC course- am I destined to a lonely life with no mummy friends?!

(32 Posts)
SadPander Tue 05-Nov-13 20:51:34

I've heard so much about how great the NCT antenatal courses are for making lifelong friends and a support network. I tried to sign up about 4 weeks ago (about 29 weeks) but seems I'd left it too late as the only spaces left were for after my due date. I can't see any postnatal classes for my area either.

I'm worrying a bit now as I don't have any friends with children near me and not sure how I feel about turning up to a baby group alone to try and meet people. Has anyone made good friends without the NCT courses?

AHardDaysWrite Tue 05-Nov-13 20:54:06

I am not in touch with any from my NCT group (we had nothing in common except being pregnant) but met a lovely bunch of mums at a breastfeeding group I went to with my first d&c. We're still good friends three years on and see each other regularly. So I wouldn't worry - and baby groups seem scary at first but are well worth it - it's good to get out of the house when you have a baby and everyone's nervous at first. You'll be fine!

AHardDaysWrite Tue 05-Nov-13 20:54:47

My first dc, not d&c! Bloody phone!!

I went on an NCT course and never saw any of them post 1yr and I'm sure I was only invited so I would bring cakes. One of the girls took serious offence to my 'lax, hippy breastfeeding cloth nappies' parenting style and cut me out of any invites, she refused to go if I went and obviously my cake wasn't that important so I was edged out. I have loads of mummy friends from baby massage, under 1's group, breastfeeding group and now nursery. I seriously doubt you are going to be friendless because of a NCT course.

Hobbes8 Tue 05-Nov-13 20:58:36

Yes I have. My first pregnancy I was induced at 36 weeks unexpectedly, so I'd had the classes booked but i'd only attended one of them. I started going to my local children's centre when my son was a few months old. I felt awkward at first talking to strangers but you tend to see the same faces every week and get to know people. If you smile and ask how old their baby is you'll be fine! I just tended to go to drop in sessions, but there's lots of more structured classes if you would prefer an activity to keep busy rather than sitting around chatting. Baby massage or signing can be fun. I have a lovely little group of local friends now.

hootintootin Tue 05-Nov-13 21:01:33

Someone dropped out of our nct course after a week as it " wasn't their cup of tea" . Perhaps you could go on a reserve list? Breastfeeding groups are good , baby massage course, swimming class, rhyme time at library, music class... You won't have time for the nct lot as well!

MarthasHarbour Tue 05-Nov-13 21:01:50

I didnt go to NCT for the same reason and am glad i didnt from what i have heard (a bit snooty and evangelical about certain issues!)

Find out when your local NHS Ante Natal / Parent Craft classes are and go to these, i am still good friends with a couple of my NHS group 5 yrs later and all of us meet up occasionally for nights out,

I also went to Pregnancy Yoga and met my now closest friend there, i also met a handful of others and we all met up for years after the babies were born. We dont see each other as often now they are at school but we were a lifeline to eachother back in the day.

Get yourself along to any breastfeeding support groups or if you dont BF then go to Baby Yoga, Baby Signing, Baby Massage - all of this Baby gubbins that our mothers didnt have back in the day (my DM always gave me the hmm look if i mentioned Baby Yoga!).

Once you are back at work and if you send your LO to a nursery then you will get soooo many friends. DS has just left nursery this summer but i have made a solid foundation of mum friends who are fab. And now he has started school i am meeting even more people.

Am pregnant now with DC2 and intend to do all of the above to meet friends with babies the same age. But to be honest i have gone from knowing nobody in my area 5 years ago to having lots of friends (and a hectic social life!)

Congratulations on your pregnancy and enjoy every minute! smile

Anothermrssmith Tue 05-Nov-13 21:01:51

Can you get a place on an nhs course? I'm not doing nct, looked into it and they were too far away and personally I couldn't splash the cash on them so taking the freebie nhs option! Plus nct seem to get a very mixed review on here, was reading a few different threads last night about them actually, so don't worry too much.

As far as meeting people goes,I'm sure once bump arrives and you start going to clinics and various mother and baby groups you'll meet plenty of people.

For what it's worth I'm in the exact same boat,first of all my friends to have a baby, not in Scotland are you, lol?

Wonderstuff Tue 05-Nov-13 21:04:20

I didn't do NCT and I was initially a bit sad about it, but I made friends at lots of different groups, you'll be fine.

bundaberg Tue 05-Nov-13 21:08:17

i never went to NCT and sitll made friends.
went to local baby groups and met people that way

ugglyboots Tue 05-Nov-13 21:08:47

I did NCT and NHS classes and made friends with people at both and also at various baby groups. You'll be fine as long as you're happy to put yourself about a bit (in the nicest possible waysmile)

heritagewarrior Tue 05-Nov-13 21:09:47

I did do NCT, but bonded with my group (including some people who hadn't done the ante-natal course) when we did an early days course immediately after all the dcs were born. They are all turning 5 at the moment and I went out for a meal with some of the mums a couple of weeks ago. Get yourself booked onto an early days course!

2blessed Tue 05-Nov-13 21:11:36

I didnt do the nct classes but have made a few firm friends by going to clinic and rhyme time. You will be fine OP.

Tommy Tue 05-Nov-13 21:14:54

I started with the NCT "Bumps and Babes" group but didn't carry on after my bump turned into a babe....
I did however, meet some lovely people at the NHS First Time Mums' group that my HV sent me to recommended and I'm still good friends with all of them 12 years later. DS1 and DS3 are best friends with the children of one of them and we see them every day smile

Mondayschild78 Tue 05-Nov-13 21:19:22

I did not do NCT either but made a few friends at pregnancy yoga. Also made a friend in a local playground. You never know where you might make a new mum friend and don't forget so many mums are in the same boat. With a little effort on your part you will be absolutely fine.

Wishfulmakeupping Tue 05-Nov-13 21:19:35

I couldn't get on the Nct course near me either went to an independent one suggested to my midwife so might be worth checking with them too in case. But although I did make a couple of mummy friends at the antenatal classes I met most other mums through groups we met done at baby massage and some more at the local library group that we go out for walks with etc you meet so many people at groups smile

Wishfulmakeupping Tue 05-Nov-13 21:19:59

Some not done

BlackberrySeason Tue 05-Nov-13 21:23:35

My nct class was totally antisocial and only met up once after the babies were born - you are not missing out! These are things you could do instead:

Birth prep workshop - eg there is a great yoga birth one at kings college hospital and a water birth one at the natural birth centre centre in Archway

Go to your local LLL group while still pg - they welcome pg women and will introduce you to other pg/new mums

Pg yoga is great

Go to a bumps and babes group

Join the mn antenatal thread for your due date and ask if anyone lives near you

Also nct groups often run due date email lists where for free you can join lists of mums due at the same time.

Baby swimming class after baby is born is a good way to meet people - we started at 9 weeks

curlywurlyllass Tue 05-Nov-13 21:52:06

Theres no nct courses near me (rural scotland) that i am aware of. The only nhs course i can do are 2x half days on labour/birth and early days with baby...... They dont run courses in december so i have to do both sessions on one saturday.

So i too wont get to meet many others.

I will just need to get my big girl pants on and go to some after birth groups to meet other new mums

Good luck finding a group near u

BikeRunSki Tue 05-Nov-13 21:56:20

I did NCT classes,made some friends. Made more, and better,friends at local children's centre.

SadPander Wed 06-Nov-13 21:17:27

Thanks everyone, its good to hear that its not the only way to meet people! I was sure it couldn't be, but everyone seems to suggest that you're really missing out if you don't do NCT. I will follow some of your tips.

I'm a chatty person and happy to talk to people in smallish groups, but don't have much confidence in actually introducing myself to new people, or joining in conversation if a group already know each other. I'm just going to have to get over I think and take the plunge!

What is LLL?

BlackberrySeason Wed 06-Nov-13 21:27:19

Everyone else is keen to make friends too so it is much easier than usual!!

LLL = La Leche League, the bf support organisation. They often have meetings where you can get bf info over coffee and socials.

LadyMedea Wed 06-Nov-13 22:20:41

Just because you haven't gone on a course doesn't mean you can't meet people through NCT. Whether you'll make friends from a particular course I'll vary hugely... We've had one all day session so far and our group is fairly chatty so I'm hopeful.

Our local branch runs all sorts of activities and also is a bit of a clearinghouse hours for information on all the other baby groups in the area.

See if your local group has a Facebook group and see what gets advertised.

BikeRunSki Wed 06-Nov-13 22:28:13

Look on the NCT website for coffee groups and Bumps and Babies groups in your area.

hazchem Wed 06-Nov-13 22:52:46

I didn't really click with anyone from my NCT antenatal group. I did however click with my branch (this is the local mums who are members) so i go involved in running the local NCT playgroup, helped at nearly new sales, went to committee meetings, went to babies groups, tea parties loads.
I also found going to sling meets really good, people were less focused on time and numbers and a bit more relaxed no one seamed horrified that DS was still co sleeping at a year. Also really liked toddler yoga.

If you were really just wanting to make friends don't worry but if youa re wanting to do some antenatal preparation try you NHS or local children center other private providers are Daisy birth, hyno birthing, natal hyno or some independant midwives run classes too.

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