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At what stage did you tell work that you were pg?

(82 Posts)
Mitchell2 Fri 01-Nov-13 11:01:40

In a bit of a quandary - am 7+4 today and really not feeling the greatest. I am on the verge of telling a select few at work so I can take it a bit easy WFH etc. I don't have any concerns re reactions to it - e.g. I know that I am not going to be discriminated, they will be v supportive etc but I just feels a bit wrong telling them so soon as the old rule of thumb is after the 12 week scan.

Oh and we are also going to be doing our planning for 2014 in the next few weeks and my absence is going to be material so I kind of want to be able to share this with at least a few people so we can plan effectively.

Interest to hear what others did and why....

AliOh Fri 01-Nov-13 14:58:06

I told my manager a few days after I found out when I was around 5 weeks, i felt that if (god forbid) anything happened I would want her know and I knew she would be very supportive anyway. I told the rest of my colleagues when I was around 9 weeks - we're a very small team of 5 and one had already guessed anyway!

oscarwilde Fri 01-Nov-13 15:17:28

What special protection whatwillsantabring ? In the UK at any rate?

junkfoodaddict Fri 01-Nov-13 16:02:17

Tell those who NEED to know for insurance purposes. For example, if you did something that resulted in injury or loss of the baby, work would not be liable because they were not made aware of your 'condition' beforehand.
I am a teacher and would tell my Head immediately because she would put a risk assessment plan in force for dealing with potentially agressive children, working with apparatus etc, etc.

I had to tell my boss at 6 weeks, because I was teaching a year 7 and was randomly throwing up (any time of day) with about 30 seconds warning. I got the gap year student in my lessons to supervise them while I was legging it to the loo.
Year 7s never realised what was going on.
My 6th Formers only needed one of these quick disappearances to know what was up wink

spanna786 Fri 01-Nov-13 16:25:07

It was a complete mistake telling my boss I was pg, as soon as I did his attitude towards me changed almost instantly. I ended up having to leave that job. It was a nightmare.

PrincessKitKat Fri 01-Nov-13 17:30:52

About 11 weeks - I was going to wait til 12 but they were making imminent changes to my work district & I wanted them to be fully informed that my circumstances were likely to change (not that it made a jot of difference hmm).

Unless your work is affected by illness/fatigue or there's a need to tell, I'd leave it as long as possible and let people think you're just getting fat

Mitchell2 Fri 01-Nov-13 17:36:08

I ended up caving and telling just my Boss and my HR contact today. As suspected they were perfectly fine and were very supportive of me needing to work from home if needed due to MS. I feel really grateful that I have a working environment that is a good one (OK it sucks sometimes but hey, doesn't every ones?!)

I have not told my team or anyone else and wont do it until 12 weeks.

Its so sad to read on this thread those ladies who haven't been treated with the support or respect that they deserve.

ilovecolinfirth Fri 01-Nov-13 17:50:45

I told my boss when I was 7 weeks pregnant as I knew it was going to have implications on the work place. I wish I didn't though. I got treated badly and massively screwed over during my maternity leave. sad

Phineyj Fri 01-Nov-13 17:58:00

I left it as late as possible to officially announce, as I was on a temporary contract and didn't want to give them any reason to not renew it. I had told a few colleagues informally, which was a bit of a risk, but they kept it to themselves. There is legal guidance on the latest you can tell - I think it is 12 weeks before you go on leave, or something like that. If you have any doubts do look the law up and/or see an employment lawyer - not knowing your rights can get expensive!

Phineyj Fri 01-Nov-13 17:59:49

I meant to add, there's no reason you can't start thinking about the planning implications - but there's no need to share them with all and sundry so early, I'd say.

Kelly1814 Fri 01-Nov-13 19:04:24

I was 24 weeks, had no bump, no one guessed, despite me feeling like death. I didn't want lots of fuss and attention....

gutzgutz Fri 01-Nov-13 19:25:25

there is no special protection for not making people redundant whilst pregnant/ on mat leave (UK). that is a common misconception. you cannot be made redundant because you are pregnant but the onus would be on you to prove this at tribunal. a careful employer would have followed all procedures so they can prove it was't due to pregnancy ;and if there are a number of redundancies it is just coincidence. however if you pass a certain period in your pregnancy and are made redundant, you are entitled to all your mat pay up front and depending on your contract any enhanced mat pay too. i know this as i was made redundant at 8.5 months pregnant, another colleague at 6 months and 1 mat leave , along with 15 others. of course i claimed discrimination due to pregnancy but taking advice from employment solicitors i was told the above. angry sad and i am a solicitor and worked for a national law firm. didn't fancy taking them with all their resources to tribunal with a newborn and toddler at home. luckily the redundancy package was enough to live on for a while.

MrsYoungSalvoMontalbano Fri 01-Nov-13 20:44:54

Didn't tell 'em for 4.5 months - when I did, my manager said 'Oh, good, we thought you were looking a bit porky'

GooFawkes Fri 01-Nov-13 20:56:47

With DS my boss had already guessed, but then I went skiing at 12 weeks and that caused him to doubt himself.

I had a MMC requiring surgical intervention, so DD1 hardly came as a surprise to him grin

My boss also guessed with DD2. I think we have worked together too long!

Trinpy Fri 01-Nov-13 20:59:05

16 weeks. I would have left it longer but pregnancy-related issues were causing problems at work and I needed a risk assessment.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 01-Nov-13 21:04:52

When my boss saw me being sick in a grid at lunchtime. Sort of gave it away...

IdaClair Fri 01-Nov-13 21:33:33

First time I told them at 13 weeks, had to untell them anyway, second time told at 24 weeks, which I think is the 'rule' as to when you have to if you want to take mat leave. Third time, told at 15 weeks, had to untell again, fourth time, 22 weeks after I was reclassified low risk.

HandragsAndGladbags Fri 01-Nov-13 21:48:42

Told them at 5 weeks all three times! I work for the government though and knew they would be supportive.

Being on mat leave doesn't mean that you can't be made redundant, but it does mean the organisation needs to prove it has made every possible effort to find suitable alternative employment for you and you should get priority over colleagues in a slotting in / limited ring fence competition scenario. But as gutz said, if made redundant whilst on mat leave (or within 11 weeks - I think - of Due date if not on mat leave) you are entitled to paid your occupational mat pay along with your redundancy payout.

I told my boss before 12 weeks both times. With DD I was working away for a few days at 8 weeks, doing shift work in a hospital as part of a major IT system deployment. I had to let my boss know so that I didn't get rostered on to do A&E overnight. Most recent pregnancy I told him at 5 weeks. Had been trying for two years, was so thrilled there was no way I was keeping it to myself. Made managing the MC at 9 weeks easier as I didn't need to tell / untell and could just send a brief email.

But I have a lovely boss and am in the fortunate position of not fearing discrimination as a result.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 02-Nov-13 01:01:04

I told them as soon as I found out I had a job with a lot of lifting.

I told them early both times, at about 5-6 weeks as was feeling utterly dreadful and with DC2 had to take 3 weeks off work from 7-11 weeks.

They were brilliant both times, supportive, kind, adaptable. My organisation is pretty progressive as it turns out wrt family friendliness, in comparison with some of the stuff I hear on here sometimes.

Someone in my team is off on maternity leave at the moment so I was able to go through the process from a management point of view which was really useful for me and I hope I afforded her the same support I have received.

Ginfox Sat 02-Nov-13 07:03:10

I told my boss almost as soon as I found out (8wks I think) as I felt so ill, and was sure that someone would guess what was up. I didn't want her to hear it from gossip rather than from me.

FergusSingsTheBlues Sat 02-Nov-13 07:39:36

Unfortunately I started a new job pregnant...I told them in an induction...I had a miscarriage a year before and was worried about it happening again. I also wanted to be honest with them in case they thought I got knocked up for mat leave benefits.

FergusSingsTheBlues Sat 02-Nov-13 07:41:08

Oh....but then the got rid of me by making my life pretty miserable ...they would have had to pay me about 30k in pension payments....they weren't having that. I resigned.

slightlygoostained Sat 02-Nov-13 08:33:10

I told about 14 weeks. Would've been earlier but I spent a couple of weeks asking for a quick chat before my boss finally had time (we were very busy). He guessed about halfway through my first sentence and was delighted.

I had already told him and our HR bod earlier that I was suffering from fatigue and anaemia and was struggling to get in on time in the mornings, so I think they were expecting the news!

I didn't tell the rest of the team until after the 20 week scan. As DP and I are both in our 40s, we were a bit pessimistic about the chance of problems, so I didn't want to have to untell lots of people. The couple of weeks leading up to the scan I started wearing slightly baggier t-shirts, but nobody noticed!

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