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Baby question new mum to be and a we bit clueless(61 Posts)
Hi I'm not due till April with my first child.
I'm pretty clueless and one of the things I'm unsure of is sleeping arrangement with baby
Once I get home does the baby sleep in a Moses basket in our room and if so how long for?
And then how old is baby when they go in to nursery,
I know a few friends who let baby sleep in bed for 3 years which to me is a no no I want a good routine going.
My best friend had her little girl in her own room by 5 weeks and she slept right through for 12hr (a little angel lol )
Sorry for the daft question.
The current SIDS advice is that the baby must be in the same room as you for all sleep including daytime naps for the first 6months of life.
I would not bother with a Moses basket upstairs. I would get a crib which lasts until roughly 6 months and then move them into their own room in a cot.
And also you should not let a newborn sleep through like that. They need to be woken to feed. My midwife suggest at least every 4 hours.
The current advice is that it is safest (in terms of reducing the risk of death) for your baby to sleep in your room but not in your bed for the first 6 months. You can put a basket by the bed, you can use a carry cot or the pushchair/pram as long as it goes totally flat and is suitable, you can use a cradle or a cot or a cot which attaches to the bed. Ir you can decide this doesn't work for you and put baby in their own room or have her in bed with you. Doing something other than the 'advice' doesn't NOT mean you're endangering your baby. You need to be aware of the advice and then, suitably informed, decide what works for you.
Whatever you do try not to fall asleep with baby on a sofa. That is proven to be dangerous though tbh it's happened to most of us at one time or another. Don't bedshare if one of you has taken drugs or is very tired or drunk.
Sorry don't know where the double negative came from. That should be 'doesn't mean'
Hi SweetPea, I'm glad you've asked this as I am also due my first baby in April and have been wondering about sleeping arrangements, so I hope you don't mind me asking a follow up question..
Would you keep a baby less than 6 months downstairs with you until you go to bed, rather than putting them upstairs in the crib, in order to follow the SIDS guidance? This is the bit that really has me confused!
You could have them sleeping in a sling on you. Or if they are going to sleep in a pram carrycot/Moses basket downstairs just carry that up with you when you go to bed.
Moses baskets are useful as they're portable but they're unnecessary and only last til baby is 3 or 4mths max. A crib is a better bet as lasts longer but you can just put them straight into the cot if you can fit it in your room.
Current advice is baby in with you for first 6mths but I moved mine around 5mths and used a breathing monitor with an alarm which was fantastic and has done all 3 kids. There's a few on the market and one has a poor rep for going off unnecessarily but the one we bought had fab reviews and has been super. You just need to remember to switch it off when you pick them up as the alarm is very loud!
Just remember that although a routine is great for you and baby, it doesn't always work out in reality esp if you BF. many parents have no prior intention of bringing baby into their bed but the sheer torture of sleep deprivation drives them to it. I also think how quickly they sleep has a lot to do with personality. One of mine slept through at 8wk whilst fully BF, another not until 8mths and the other (not my first) not until 16mths! A friend's first 2 slept through around 3 or 4 mths then her 3rd not until he was 2!!! She couldn't understand as she'd done nothing differently. Just different children.
Eerie - I kept my DD downstairs with me until around 6m. In the first few months she was feeding on and off until I went to bed anyway and by about 3m would fall asleep at 9ish, by 6m we were in more of a 7ish routine. I would put her in the Moses basket so we could just carry her up when we went up.
It never affected any routine and she would rarely wake when we transferred her.
I feel much better about how I managed her sleep than DS (settled in his own room at 7pmish from about 7 weeks) I thought he needed that to develop a good routine but it was actually hard to settle him and it went against SIDS guidance. Pregnant with DC3 and will manage the baby's sleep how I did with DD - with me until around 6m.
My DD was 9lb at birth, so pretty hefty, yet lasted in Moses basket until very nearly 6m old by the way. So they can be used until then.
I used to put my dd to bed in her Moses basket in our room as soon as it was her bedtime rather than keeping her downstairs with us. She never napped well in the daytime and I wanted nighttime to be just that and not just another nap.
We had one of those movement monitors so I felt pretty comfortable having her upstairs. She slept in same room as us until she grew out of her Moses basket at just over 4 months.
I would say wait and see what you feel comfortable with. It's different for everyone. (helpful I know!)
Sweetpea and eerie I have a 3mo DD and we have a Moses downstairs and crib next to the bed upstairs. She stays down with us til I take her up to bed at about 11 she sleeps 'through' til 7/8 but wakes for feeds every 2-3 hours (she stays sleepy through the feed and usually goes straight back to sleep.
That said she sleeps on me downstairs much more than in the Moses and will have outgrown before Xmas. I don't ever leave her for more than 5 mins (putting washing out/having a shower). I highly recommend buying a sling as I means I can do stuff around the house and keep her close. She sleeps really well in it!
We will move her into the nursery sometime 6-9 months.
Congrats and good luck x
Thanks ladies and eerie good question really helpful thanks to all feel totally clueless lol
Hi sweet pea. We had dd in Moses at night in our room for about first 4 months (they advise 6 though). Nice and easy to carry it downstairs if we wanted to also. At about 4 months she went In her Cotbed we just put the basket in there for first few weeks....try not to stress to much about rigid routine really early....I did and was ridiculous with it. After a couple of months it all just seemed to happen. Good luck x
Not a daft question at all...My advice would be not to dwell on this too much before your baby arrives, then see what you instinctively feel like doing when it comes to it. What works for other people, won't necessarily be the best or most convenient arrangement for you. If you have a cot/moses basket/attached bed etc at the ready, you can then see what arrangements suit you best. Although there always seems to be a lot of pressure to get into a 'routine' as quickly as possible. I would encourage you to listen to your instincts when it comes to sleeping arrangements and how your baby is most effectively comforted whilst allowing you to get as much sleep as possible. As Hetty says above, they are all different! Good luck.
Its amazing how advice goes full circle. I know that when my ds1 was born now 22 the advice was the same, baby sleep in same room as parents for first 6 months.
I also had a sling for all 3 of mine as it enabled me to get on with things.
Of course when they are a bit bigger and into everything safety gates were a must for us.
I too would advise a crib or cot rather than a moses basket. One of mine was straight into a cot which I segregated the bottom half with the bedding iyswim, then he couldn't wriggle too far under the sheets.
Your friend shouldn't have let the baby sleep for 12. Hours with no feeds.
As well as being bad for baby dehydration etc, it does the opposite to helping baby establish a good routine
Also did same as Roh lo put her to bed in our room at her bedtime whilst we were downstairs as to establish proper bedtime early....had all the monitors with us....seemed to work for us....I hadn't the first clue with any of it though!
When I wrote the post about my friend I meant to write 12 hours apart from feeds she did feed her little girl lol sorry I just forgot to add it in lol I meant she had a very good sleeping pattern.
Evertonmint, 2 of mine started crawling around 5.5mths and the Moses basket would def have been dangerous for them from about 5mths. The other didn't crawl until 6.5mths but he still outgrew the basket around 4mths as it was bowing. He was quite a chunky monkey though.
Sweetpea, don't worry about being clueless! I think most of us were the same with our first; I certainly was.
If I can give you one other piece of sleep related advice it would be to buy a growbag pref from the growbag website as their customer service is excellent. Not only go they keep baby lovely and cosy but they can't kick them off so don't wake up freezing with blanket other end of the cot. You also don't need to worry about feet to foot with a growbag as they carry wriggle underneath it. They are recommended by SIDS society too.
Sorry, cant wriggle underneath it.
Please don't carry babies in moses baskets up/down stairs! I have heard MANY stories when someone hasn't got both handles securely & baby has bounced...
Erm.....In my post I said Moses basket was easy to carry downstairs....Not with baby in it!!!! Blimey
Ok, another follow-up question from another first-timer to be... What did you actually DO, those of you who kept baby downstairs till you went up to bed? Could you watch telly; is that ok/possible while baby sleeps?
Sorry if that's a really stupid question!
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