Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Am I right to be pissed off by this??

(21 Posts)
TruJay Sat 26-Oct-13 19:49:50

Have been stewing over this for a week or so now, need to get it off my chest and ask whether I'm being unreasonable? So we had child are for our son arranged while we go into hospital to have bump, I'm 39 weeks today so really baby could come anytime. Hubby's mum and dad we're having our son for us as he has slept over at their's before and we are confident to leave him there etc this was arranged and confirmed with them months ago. Last week they tell us "make sure u don't have that baby next week as we've booked a week away and don't get back until ur due date!!" They left yesterday morning. I understand they have booked their holiday so that they are back for due date but everyone knows how unpredictable labour is and I think they have been a bit thoughtless to do this. And to make things worse hubby's grandparents were our back-up and they've suddenly sprung on us "can u try have the baby early as we have booked a last minute deal to go to Spain for a fortnight and we fly on ur due date" WTF am I being overly hormonally pregnant to be upset by this or am I right to be pissed off? We are now relying on hubby's eldest sister who is more than happy and willing to help out, thank god or we'd be screwed! But I'm just upset that after we had our plans set in stone that they would do this.....

Ikabod Sat 26-Oct-13 20:29:06

I'd be pissed off too, not only because they won't be able to look after your son, but couldn't their holidays wait until you'd had your baby, or taken them earlier? I know the due dates only an estimate but still... I'm annoyed for you! :0\

cravingcake Sat 26-Oct-13 20:36:40

I would be annoyed. And i would probably let them know. A holiday can be taken at anytime but a baby will arrive when its ready to and nothing we can do to change that.

TruJay Sat 26-Oct-13 20:49:27

Thank u I thought I was just being a bit crazy pregnant lady for being angry!! I wouldn't mind if I'd been 35/36 even 37 weeks as I think that would have been reasonable to go away and it would have been a surprise for baby to come that early but bloody hell I'm due next sat, inconsiderate arses!!! Considering if I do have it this week may be a bitch and forget to text them. I mean I'd want to be around to meet the new family member, would be gutted to have to wait a while knowing it's been born and I had to wait for holiday to finish before I'd met my new grandchild but hey that's just me

My inlaws did this too. Booked a fortnights holiday leaving the day after my due date. They obviously never thought we might need some help with ds or that it might be nice for them to meet dd before she was 2 weeks old. Thankfully dd came a week early so they got to see her. Never helped out tho!
They also booked a holiday arriving back in the uk the day before our wedding. Dh was so cross, he worked out if they had been delayed for more than six hours they would have missed our wedding! Grrr

YomAsalYomBasal Sat 26-Oct-13 21:14:09

They've been a bit thoughtless wrt dates but it's up to them when they take a holiday. You may want to consider yourself lucky to have these people around you at all, many of us have no family for help!

jkklpu Sat 26-Oct-13 21:14:25

Yes, it's annoying. However, if one lot come back on your due date and the others leave that day, then you still have one option any time, haven't you?

ThisIsMeNow Sat 26-Oct-13 21:23:23

I'd be pissed off if my dm and df did this but I'd be happy if my mil and fil fucked off forever did it grin

ThoughSheBeButLittleSheBeFierc Sat 26-Oct-13 21:35:16

No you are not being unreasonable at all. They had agreed to look after your ds. Did they at least know that you had other childcare options before booking? I would also be upset that they had booked a holiday knowing that they could have to wait a week to meet their new grandchild but I know that lots of people wouldn't think like that and sadly it does seem to be even more true when it isn't the first grandchild but thats another issue completely.

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 21:40:35

mine did this too,
how inconvenient for me to be due on the years biggest drinking day!
TWICE!

(st Patrick's btw, I have DS1 17 march & DS2 20 march)

TruJay Sat 26-Oct-13 22:04:03

I don't care when they take their holidays obviously they are entitled to that but when u have agreed to something quite important to then go back on your word a week before is a bit shitty. And to be fair they're no longer around to be helpful are they?? So kind of defeats the object but hey maybe you're feeling bitter and need to take it out on someone!
Thank u to others for kind words x

BummyMummy77 Sat 26-Oct-13 22:05:16

This is selfish behaviour on their part. Have you mentioned it to your other half? Mine would be more cross than me if his in laws did that!

My in laws can't wait to meet their new Grandchild. In fact, can we swap as they are driving me insane! smile

TruJay Sat 26-Oct-13 22:11:44

I don't think it's been done purposely I just think they haven't thought and figure being back for the due date is fine. I don't think they've even given thought to the fact that babies can come early. Yeh we've talked about it but were both quite taken aback when they told us that all we could really say was oh lovely, have a nice time confused and then we set about rearranging replacements in case baby does come early

Mondayschild78 Sat 26-Oct-13 22:18:12

YANBU and my MIL nearly did same thing to us recently!

ChoudeBruxelles Sat 26-Oct-13 22:20:51

Yanbu. I was told to hurry up and have ds as mil had booked a holiday 7 days after my due date. Ds was 5 days late

Waitinggame8 Sun 27-Oct-13 11:07:26

Totally reasonable on your part, but thank god for sisters eh?
I hope that getting it off your chest has helped otherwise blood pressure might play a part!
Hope you are more relaxed for the rest of the week and that all goes well when your time comes.
I am at the other end of my time and just about to break the good news to the parents today. Think I will tell them your story as a warning in advance about booking their hols, a subtle suggestion I think don't you?
Again all the best for when your new addition arrives.

MsFiremanSam Sun 27-Oct-13 12:58:21

My in-laws booked two holidays this year - one for a month, starting a week before my due date with DC2, and another the day before DC1's birthday. They have NEVER missed a birthday of any of their other (IMO, favoured) grandchildren, and they left us totally high and dry for childcare when I went into labour. I am still annoyed!!

honey86 Sun 27-Oct-13 13:01:50

ivehad this same issue angry ppl keep making plans on top of my due date then saying 'tell baby hes not to come til Xday'
i may be over sensitive, but i think its a goddamn pisstake to expect us to 'hold off' such a special event to fit it around their fancy plans angry makes me want to go into labour when theyre away, just to teach them a lesson for being selfish x

TruJay Sun 27-Oct-13 17:15:54

Congratulations waiting game yeh just subtlety drop the hint lol and thank u I'm hoping it's not too much longer, have terrible back ache and ribs are killing today coupled with a horrid cramp down my whole right leg...lovely!

And honey that's exactly what they're like. Most family members keep patting bump too saying "u better be pink in there" or "make sure ur a girl" it's bloody annoying, we are the only ones to have children on both sides of the family out of 7 siblings all together I just feel like saying "why if it's a boy will u not love it" (we have a son already) I don't care what comes out as long as it's healthy, people just don't think. I've just started saying have ur own bloody kids if u want a girl so bad!!

msfiremansam it's just the lack of thought isn't it, who wouldn't want to see the new baby when they get here, I know I'd choose that over a holiday anyday!

Frecklesandspecs Sun 27-Oct-13 17:35:11

yes. I would be. Im due on Tuesday and we have had to have her to come and stay to look after the other two as she lives a long way from us. she has come a week before my dd. Most people know babies hardly ever arrive on their dd!!

SoupDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 17:43:16

There is an equal chance the baby will arrive after your due date when they are around.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now