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Pregnancy with a toddler

(8 Posts)
Timpani Sat 19-Oct-13 16:43:30

I'm 25 weeks so still a long way to go and am struggling. I have an 18mo DC. I work as a teacher 3 dpw. DH is also a teacher full time.

So how do I manage? I have PGP on and off (as in sometimes it's agony, others it's fine). My DC wakes at 5:30 every day.

I'm just so tired. How much does your DH do? I feel like I'm putting on him loads and I can tell he's annoyed about it but I'm bloody knackered. The thrice nightly wees have started, plus my cd doesn't always sleep through and I'm still BF him.

Any tips? What should I 'expect' DH to do, do you think?

louiseanna12 Sat 19-Oct-13 16:48:28

I think it's fair for a women to be selfish during pregnancy.

Tea1Sugar Sat 19-Oct-13 17:07:51

Similar boat though you're much further on. I'm 13+4, dd is 3, I work full time as a teacher and I'm beyond exhausted. Dp pulls his weight but feel like I'm treading water all the time.

cravingcake Sat 19-Oct-13 20:08:34

Its bloody hard work. I'm 26 weeks and a full time mum to a 2yo (this week - eeekkk) full-on toddler. Every part of my body aches, I'm knackered all the time and the hormones and emotions are all over the place.

My DH is pretty good, but I do find I have to tell him things rather than asking. I do my best to carry on with normal day to day things and housework but some days I just cant. He knows not to have a go at me if the dishwasher hasn't been emptied, or dinner isn't started (as an example) as I will just lash out at him and tell him to do it himself, he has arms and legs and is fully capable of doing it, and to strap a bowling ball to his stomach at the same time to know how much harder things are starting to become.

I am lucky that I can ask the grandparents to take my DS for a few hours if I need a break. And I am relying on Cbeebies and Disney films a lot.

You do have to slow down and try to delegate as much as you can (and hope half of it can be done by the DH).

aprilj11 Sat 19-Oct-13 20:20:04

I was also pregnant at around the same stage with and 18 month old also still BF. Just want to say what you are going through is normal and as you put more and more on your DH, it is important to keep the communication open and loving.

I totally asked a ton from him, but importantly, look at yourself and see if you might need to lower your standards in some ways. Like I had to train myself not to get stressed if dishes were not washed right away and dirty towels piled up on the bathroom floor.

Basically he does a lot and we both have to lower our expectations a bit. Also, thank him! Make sure that you let him know often that what he is doing for you is tremendous, and you feel so grateful that you know he is here for you. Its important to keep yoru marriage healthy and happy, even though when your feeling like a truck and completely overwhelmed, that's easier said then done.

Its a hard time but you can get through it!

Frecklesandspecs Sat 19-Oct-13 20:24:00

It is hard. I have a 2 yo and a 4 yo and am now 38 weeks with no 3. actually found this pregnancy easier I think though as I have had to keep very active walking dd to nursery every day and haven't had much chouce in the matter. Dh honestly doesn't do much around the house either!
it can be exhausting though and depends very much on your pregnancy too.
I have never suffered with sickness in pregnancy so I think have had it fairly easy.
I think the first few weeks were hardest as I was so tired though. x

SolitudeSometimesIs Sun 20-Oct-13 00:06:17

I'm 29 weeks with a two and a half year old. I worked full time up until this week and have really felt the strain. I am very uncomfortable alot of the time and rely on DH to do a bit more than before I was pregnant, but as far as I'm concerned that's par for the course.

We decided to have another child so we both have to feel the impact. Physically I am sore and tired so he has to pick up the slack / take DS on his own at the weekends. But I make sure to tell him that I appreciate it and I'm grateful for his support. But I know that I would do the same for him if he wasn't feeling great or was very tired. It's give and take. And the pregnancy is for nine months, not like it's forever. He needs to step up.

I also don't do nights - DS gets up to wee during the night and I ask DH to sort it out. Could you maybe express milk for your DS? Or get a tv in your bedroom so he can watch cartoons while you rest?

Timpani Sun 20-Oct-13 11:12:45

Thank you everyone. It is really great to know that this is normal and you're right in that I need to lower my expectations. He most certainly does too as he's very particular about things!

I did tell DH last night that I am struggling as I don't really think he realised just how hard I'm finding things. It's hard to explain that I feel so tired even when I'm sitting still! And I think because I don't look that big bump-wise it's easy to forget that I do struggle.

I have found some apps for my phone to keep DC amused while I try and catch an extra bit of sleep at 5:30am. I don't think I need to express as he can have milk in a cup and I'm not sure that there's much there now!

I definitely feel like a truck smile

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