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Reactions when you tell people you pregnant? Like disrespectful comments.

(101 Posts)
Sarahmains40 Mon 30-Sep-13 17:32:04

Most people have been really happy for me. Funny a few people when I told them I'm pregnant they say well your not married or when are you getting married? Seriously it's 2013. I'm 27 and my OH is 29 we've been together for 10 years he is my only ever boyfriend and I love him dearly. We are engaged for about 3 years but just haven't got around to getting hitched. We bought a house together and renovated and invested a lot of money in to that. We work full time so in our free time we like to go on holidays etc. Before baby gets here lol.

To me money is better spent on other things than a wedding that I know will get totally out of control. (Nothing wrong with having a massive wedding just not for me )

We both decieded when we do get married we will do it in a registry office on the quite and cheap.

But after these comments I feel like my OH and I aren't seen as a proper couple. Tbh my relastionship is better than a lot of marriages I know.

It's the one thing I never thought would be a problem untill I've told people were having a baby.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Mon 30-Sep-13 18:57:23

My last pregnancy was a bit of a surprise, when I told dh his reaction was 'is it mine' grin he was mortified, and I've never let him live it down.

My Mother said 'I assume you're getting sterilised after this one'. confused

luxemburgerli Mon 30-Sep-13 18:58:20

Do you know, before I got pregnant I had read a few of these types of threads so I was all prepared with my amazing witty comebacks. And not one person has responded in anything other than the appropriate manner. How dare they?!

Sarahmains40 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:04:00

Very small squeak that's prob one of the rudest comments ever. A lot of people I know had kids early 20s and this one guy I work with him and his GF had a baby a 22 which is there personal choice. I never wanted kids until my 30s and he use to tell I should have them when I'm still young rather than 30s when I'm old. WTF I know I actually having my first at 27 but he found out I was pregnant and made sure he reminded me I was an older mum. How F¥$@&g rude.

My mum had me at 31 and my sis at 33 she's now 56 and is not old in slightest.

This idiot co worker once he found out I was pregnant when went on to tell mettle the first 6 months of pregnancy are a BREEZE!!!! HAHAHA I've had horrible sickness and nausea plus mood swing and extreme fatigue. I'm only 12 weeks 3 months in were is the BREEZE What an absolute plonker.

One more comment of him and I may lose my job lol I'm wound up just thinking about him

Sarahmains40 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:05:15

Then went on to tell me that was meant to say in last paragraph lol sorry angry typing lol

BlueJess Mon 30-Sep-13 19:16:34

Lots of people (including vague acquaintances and complete strangers) felt the fact that we were having twins entitled them to ask it if was an IVF pregnancy.

It is beyond me why anyone would think that was their business.

I would usually try to politely avoid the question but those who were persistent were often asked "do tell
me exactly how you conceived your children?"

Spacefrog35 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:18:38

A variation on the 'was it planned' was from a woman who started at my work when I was about 14 weeks who in the middle of a conversation said ' don't worry you'll get over the surprise of being pregnant soon and settle into it'. My reply being something along the lines of 'er, it was planned, I'm cool with it thanks'. She finished with 'oh sorry, I just assumed at your age it must have been a mistake'. I'm 36!!! confused

luxemburgerli Mon 30-Sep-13 19:20:14

Ah Sarahmains40, you reminded me! I had morning sickness too, and while I was throwing up my (generally lovely) MIL commented to DH that she'd never felt better than when she was pregnant. Very nearly shouted through the bathroom door that she could shove her pregnancy glow up her arse grin

Also in the throes of morning sickness plenty of people told me it didn't last forever, and that there was "only" another 6 weeks or so til it would pass. And there I was wondering how I'd get through the next 5 minutes!!

Spacefrog35 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:22:37

A variation on the 'was it planned' was from a woman who started at my work when I was about 14 weeks who in the middle of a conversation said ' don't worry you'll get over the surprise of being pregnant soon and settle into it'. My reply being something along the lines of 'er, it was planned, I'm cool with it thanks'. She finished with 'oh sorry, I just assumed at your age it must have been a mistake'. I'm 36!!! confused

Sarahmains40 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:24:44

Luxemburger if I hear one more time "how you feeling Hun" me "ok just sick etc etc". " oh don't worry it will pass"

PASS I've threw up like 10 times a day feel nauseous all day for 8 weeks and your telling me it will just pass. I know it will but I just really don't need to hear that right now.

luxemburgerli Mon 30-Sep-13 19:41:50

God I agree. Wait until they have their next hangover, ring them up after an especially vigorous bout of vomiting and tell them it will "pass" (and a damn sight quicker than morning sickness!!)... ah revenge plots!

Sarahmains40 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:48:25

HAHA I hope they get stuck at work in office with me with the hangover. I will put my bright happy talkative head on. Which is rear lately and I will say ohhhhhhh self inflicted....or it's your age we could all do this when we were young. Might even put the radio LOUD. Yes thanks for that fab idea it's put a smile bk on my face lol

Oh and a big greasy bacon sarnie for them nom nom

RibenaFiend Mon 30-Sep-13 19:52:11

My office manager has the absolute most rude and disgusting response every time a member of the work force announces a pregnancy...
"Oh. Wow. Erm. You're happy?"
"Oh. Was it planned?"
"And it's who's?"

I shit you not. The girl is 30, she had the emotional intellect of a squid and the social abilities of a plastic pot plant. I don't think that she means to be as horrendously rude as she is, she's just inept.

I am delighted that one day my DP and I will have a baby and I will be able to retort with "do you mean to be so rude?" Because she's actually inept.

Another with the 'was it planned?'

Also 'Oh, God, I'd be utterly devastated if it was me. I'd have to 'deal with it'.'

WTVF? I need to know that, why?

polkadotsrock Mon 30-Sep-13 20:13:56

DHs (wanker of a...) dad- 'you just don't know when to stop do you?' It's our second!!! And his second grandchild!! Arsehole.

ch1134 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:57:31

It's very surprising that people think you should be married, when I think I heard somewhere that more kids in the UK are currently being born outside of marriage than in.
I am married, but when the teenagers I teach found out I was expecting, lots of them said 'but you're not married', as if that has any effect on fertility!
It's amazing that they assume because I look young I can't be married, and if I'm not married I can't have a baby. Actually, I'm 30, wed and pregnant - very conventional. But I could have had a baby a lot earlier on and without a husband.

BummyMummy77 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:49:56

Bad comments normally are from parents.

My mother was convinced I'd mc and kept telling me so and my mil, well, she's just driven me nuts with her anger at me refusing to go into hospital (live in the States where they have the worst maternity care in the developed
world) and that there's no way I could have a natural birth.

I think pregnant women should not tell anyone, ever. :/

Sammi1986 Mon 30-Sep-13 22:11:56

Friend - "was it planned?"
Manager - "oh, erm, is that a good thing?"
Ex from 6 years ago - "I have nothing to say on that matter, I know you're not really happy with him". :/

Catsize Mon 30-Sep-13 22:28:05

From my mother-in-law (who is obsessed with my weight)...

'So, are you going on a diet now then?'.

I am a size 16 but 6ft tall so not exactly morbidly obese, and I was back in my jeans within four days of DS1. Not that I feel the need to explain!

She also asked once if I was doing a marathon overnight walk for Cancer Research to lose weight. confused

apprenticemamma Mon 30-Sep-13 22:49:06

my dad: so is dh getting the snip after this?
our dc2/dhs dc5.

CrispyFB Mon 30-Sep-13 23:10:27

My own mother. All our babies were planned and she knew we wanted four eventually.

DC1 - "Oh, it's early days, anything could happen" (4 weeks)
DC2 - "Oh, it's early days, anything could happen" (I was 10 weeks with good scans!)
DC3 - "Bugger"

.. DC4 (this one) - "Congratulations!"

I guess she finally worked it out..!

FIL. We have his only grandchildren, so he's hardly inundated with them, and he lives 8 hours away: "Three is a good number, you should stop at three" hmm

Bet he felt bad when we told him a few weeks later I was 12 weeks gone with DC4!

Purplefrogshoe Mon 30-Sep-13 23:15:02

MIL hmmmm I didn't really want another grandchild

honey86 Mon 30-Sep-13 23:27:41

i normally get greeted with 'hello fatty!' sad im heavily preg ffs sad

DaleyBump Mon 30-Sep-13 23:37:59

honey I get that too, from my gran, every single time I see her. It's always followed by "is he awake?" because she wants to feel my stomach. I've started ignoring her, I'm not just a fucking baby machine angry I've also had from my gran, when I had awful morning sickness and was managing a plate of chilli (the only meal I'd been able to eat that day), "you just don't stop stuffing your face, do you?! Look at you shovelling it in! Eating for two then?" Cheeky cow. Wonder how she felt when I threw it up 20 minutes later angry

I've also had (from MIL), "So you're just eating anything and everything then?" and "you definitely look like you've been eating for two, you've put on so much weight!" I've actually lost weight everywhere but my belly (my arse is a sorry saggy thing now sad). She even said this when I was eating strawberries. Fruit. It's not like I was tucking into a chippy, and it's none of her business even if I was!

catameringue Tue 01-Oct-13 08:47:41

All these comments people say are outrageously rude!

I've not had anything to that degree, just people saying srupid things like 'oh you were trying for a year? You must have relaxed because this happens all the time that couples try for ages, then they relax and it happens'.

If you've ever met me, you'd see I never relax. I want to slap people when they think they know the secret workings of my loins.

kchapper5 Tue 01-Oct-13 08:59:29

People can be so rude.
My MIL said when i started to suffer with morning sickness and migraines "welcome to the real world" hmm sorry but as i'm 25 with a good job my own house mortgage and had to practically raise myself because of my alcoholic mother I think I've been in the real world for quite a while.

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