Ok, please be gentle, as I'm worried about this!
I'm tocophobic and always planned to have an ELCS, maybe privately. Since getting my positive test I've started thinking about VB. A complete surprise to me. Basically I'm worrying about the negatives of several sections (planning 2-3 kids) and wondering if I'm foolish for letting my anxiety stop me from having an experience which many people describe as profound/ moving/ enjoyable/ emotional. I'm so worried about what to do that I wake up every night worrying. I know that's daft to worry about the delivery so early on. But if I want to have a private section it'd be better to book the surgeon by the time of my 1st scan, as some get booked up early, and if I want to seek an NHS section I should tell my midwife early on. So I feel like I need to make a decision about what I want in the next couple of months.
I worked on a hospital labour ward, and found it a really stressful environment, so I wanted to research midwife-led centres. I found a midwife-led centre nearby that sounds really calm and supportive. On the other hand I worried that it wasn't attached to a hospital if something goes wrong. They offer regular group tours, so I booked onto one to find out more. When I booked the tour the Receptionist cheerfully said that I was obviously keen to book a tour so early.
This tour is tomorrow, and this afternoon another Receptionist phones me, and says that I can't go on the tour, as you have to be 20 weeks first. I was upset, as I need to make an initial decision before then, and I think that this tour would help me decide. I panicked and was quite pushy, and I could hear a Midwife laughing in the background. The Receptionist reluctantly agreed that I can go on the tour anyway, but made it clear that she thought I was being unreasonable.
But now I'm really nervous about going. Will they think I'm insane? Will the other women on the tour think I'm odd, as I'm clearly not nearly as pregnant as them? I can be assertive over the phone but I'm shy in person, and I'm worried what to say if the midwife is rude to me for being pushy, or if they change their mind and turn me away. My partner said I should just go and not worry about what they think.
btw I know that pregnancies can commonly miscarry early, but we'd try to get pregnant again, so I still think it would be useful.
I just wanted to get some opinions about whether I'm being very crazy.
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Pregnancy
Am I insane to go on a birthing centre tour at 6 weeks?
bumbleumble · 20/09/2013 20:12
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