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Bloody sick of rudeness about size!

(59 Posts)
Hyperhelpmum Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:22

Two women I work with (both unhealthily thin verging on skeletal) comment on my bump every time they see me. Stare, comment etc. driving me bloody mad. Latest was 'oh my god you are HUGE ' to which I said in psycho quiet voice 'did. You. Just. Call. Me. Huge. ? ' Next woman said ' gosh you've grown ' to which I responded. 'What since Tuesday?' SO fed up particularly as I am not that big and am a size 8/10 and have put on under a stone at 30+ weeks. Can I tell them to F off or will I get the sack/ sectioned for bring mental?

middleclassdystopia Sun 15-Sep-13 15:31:29

In my opinion this is all part of the body image obsessed, sexist and infantalising attitude to women.

The so called desirable and acceptable shape is slim everywhere with a nice neat bump. But not too small that you don't seem motherly. A 'big' bump is flaunting and threatening to some.

It really angers me and those who are dismissing response as over sensitive are way off the mark.

Babies are different sizes, fluid volume varies, women are different heights and builds. Yet here is another way to control women by creating a monotype.

I wouldn't hesitate to respond. Unless it is genuine comment about baby growing, which should make someone glad not shocked or rude.

Trust your instinct

Hyperhelpmum Mon 16-Sep-13 14:46:49

Do you know middleclass I think you are spot on. It wasn't as bad when I was pregnant with DS1 over 6 years ago. The whole celebrity pregnancy/ mum image has really taken off since then and now I feel I'm compared to some 'ideal' pregnant shape. Otherwise what died you are huge mean? Compared to what? To who? It's thus idea of slim with a smallish bump. I'm slim but my bump is big. I'm 5ft 4 and have a shirt torso so baby has nowhere to go but outwards! Not much any of us can do about what our bodies do when we carry. With my boys I was really big all over as had to keep eating to not be sick so put on 3 stone each time. This time I was so ill I lost 1.5 stone in first trimester so now I appear 'slim' but pregnant.

Hyperhelpmum Mon 16-Sep-13 14:47:29

Sorry meant what does not died!

comfyonesie2 Mon 16-Sep-13 16:48:19

I agree with middleclassdystopia too and it's very depressing, it's of the bigger picture of it becoming totally "ok" to make women feel bad about themselves and their bodies, and it's bloody not ok!!! Only today the cleaner at work said to me, "my god you're getting big". I politely said, "we'll I am pregnant, it's going to happen..." He laughed and said, "yes but I meant your hips and face and everything are getting huge". I normally get on well with him and we have a laugh, but next time I will be tempted to comment back on his enormous beer belly and disgusting fag breath. Don't know why but it really upset me for some reason today.

LeaningTowerOfGaffney Mon 16-Sep-13 16:55:08

"Don't know why but it really upset me for some reason today."

Because it's so personal, not to mention rude?! That is so out of order. "Look, you're getting fat here, here and here." Even my closest friend or DH would've been told off for that comment.

I think middleclass's comment is bang on the money, too.

comfyonesie2 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:31:39

Leaningtower, you're right, that is why I was upset & it was completely justified. Normally I'm thicker skinned, but I shouldnt have to be, he's the twat not me!

katebakes Mon 16-Sep-13 17:55:21

I am tiny, I have a tiny, tiny body and a pronounced bump. EVERYONE says 'oh you're tiny, so cute, your bump is so neat.' It's cute, I like it. Everyone but my MOTHER IN LAW who points out how large I am getting. Or if we're speaking to her over Skype, as she lives in a different time zone, and it's usually really late here, comments on how tired I look and how I'm really starting to wear maternity clothes when I said I didn't need them. THEY ARE MY PYJAMAS YOU IDIOT.

Make a complaint or tell them to f* off and be thankful you're not related!

My DM last week

"Gosh that bump gets bigger every time I see you!"

Me "Well I am growing a baby so it should!"

Grrrrrr! I'm just glad I've finished work, as I work in retail and was getting a bit fed up of making small talk with customers about my belly, some said I looked big some said small, a few nice ones just said I looked really well! Now it's only the other parents on the school run to have the same conversations with! (I'll try and remember the unwanted attention when baby is here and no one cares about me wink)

Hyperhelpmum Mon 16-Sep-13 20:02:46

OMG onesie that is totally out of order and SO rude. I would have cried. It's just nasty. What an a hole. I am told by 95% of people how 'neat' I am. Not sure who to believe but dreading work tomorrow and must remember to wear something non fitting as that's the worst. They always comment if I'm in a fitted top. Another colleague remaked maybe I should wear looser tops ie not maternity stretchy ones. I feel why should I dress for them? It's always work appropriate and not revealing. Can't hide my bump even if I want to but no massive cleavage or flesh showing. God I'm dreading it. Bloody women.

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