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Bloody sick of rudeness about size!

(59 Posts)
Hyperhelpmum Thu 12-Sep-13 18:34:22

Two women I work with (both unhealthily thin verging on skeletal) comment on my bump every time they see me. Stare, comment etc. driving me bloody mad. Latest was 'oh my god you are HUGE ' to which I said in psycho quiet voice 'did. You. Just. Call. Me. Huge. ? ' Next woman said ' gosh you've grown ' to which I responded. 'What since Tuesday?' SO fed up particularly as I am not that big and am a size 8/10 and have put on under a stone at 30+ weeks. Can I tell them to F off or will I get the sack/ sectioned for bring mental?

Chosenbyyou Thu 12-Sep-13 18:41:16

Maybe you could say to them when you first see them 'oh my god your looking huge' and when they stare with the open mouthed shocked look you can say....'oh sorry, thought that was our usual greeting' smile genuinely and walk off lol xxx'

MummyJetsetter Thu 12-Sep-13 18:46:03

How infuriating! I bet you could get away with the bad language, people will believe you're a hormonal mess so you won't get the sack! x

SignoraStronza Thu 12-Sep-13 18:51:34

How about responding with "Oh my god, you look emaciated/skeletal! "

Calmly and quietly say "I really don't appreciate all these comments about my shape and size. It's incredibly rude. Please stop."

If they get the huff and say they're only kidding or just making conversation, repeat "I really don't appreciate it. Please stop" or "Can we please find something else to think about".

I'm pretty sure making repeated unwelcome remarks about someone's pregnancy could fall under equality or discrimination legislation so you really don't have to put up with it.

Sympathy. It's infuriating!

Hyperhelpmum Thu 12-Sep-13 20:36:03

Thanks. Loving the 'you look so thin/ have you list more weight?' ideas! I may just say next time 'you're making me feel really self conscious. Im going to keep getting bigger until i go on matrrnity leave im aftaid, thats what hapoens!' the one who said 'you've grown' always follows up with ' but you're so neat and won't have any weight to loose' like that makes it ok. She just stares at my bump. So odd. She has a child and is in her 50's so can't be that surprised by a pregnant shape!

Sarahmains40 Fri 13-Sep-13 09:22:20

I'm 9 weeks and I'm a size 14 to 16 so god help me when I'm heavily pregnant. There probs just jealous of you. You know you think women would be supportive of other women but no there is some really nasty spiteful ones who let the side down. Just say I'd rather look healthy and huge than sickly thin . Vile people!!!! one of the girls I work with had just got bk off her maternity and I remember when she was pregnanat and from about 10 weeks she couldn't hide it but I would never of turned round and said omg you look huge. In fact she looked amazing and I was in aw at her. Just ignore those silly witches... :D

scubastevie Fri 13-Sep-13 09:28:11

Got this all the time too. Sooo annoying and rude. Funny thing was some pple say you're huge others say you're tiny. I think I dont comment on your weight, pls dont comment about mine! I hated it though as didnt like not feeling in control of my body :-s
Work in large dept too, so got the whole 'when r u due, is it a boy/girl, how long u got left etc etc etc about 20 times a day. I know they meant well but i just want to get on with my work arrgh.

Hyperhelpmum Fri 13-Sep-13 09:41:59

I know it's beyond annoying and I'm feeling quite hormonal this week so it's actually upsetting me, god knows why! I was thinking about it and will say 'what do you expect?' nr t time anyone comments. It's as DH said , there are pregnant women everywhere, what's the big deal?! Maybe not so many pregnant women in workplaces but around and about they are everywhere! It's a natural process and the woman will change shape! It's pretty odd behaviour if you ask me. I can understand a friend or relative who hasn't seen you in weeks saying something (tactful!) but a colleague commenting every other day?!!!! Weirdo!!!

blondebaby111 Fri 13-Sep-13 18:43:25

i get the 'my god your huge' comment all the time and i hate it. i also get 'your not very big are you, wheres your bump' which is just as annoying as then you panick and think well should i be bigger. i wish people would just say 'you look good/well@ its so much nicer to hear that xx

EeyoreIsh Fri 13-Sep-13 19:23:56

I'm getting the opposite of 'you don't have a bump' and 'your bump isn't there' or 'your bump just looks like tummy'. I'm worrying about the size of my bump enough without people telling me that.

Why do people feel the need to comment at all, ffs. I much prefer to be told I'm looking well, or they like my dress. Why do normal compliments disappear to be focused entirely on the bump?!

vix206 Fri 13-Sep-13 19:39:24

I'm getting it from everyone. Even total strangers. When I say I'm 21 weeks they look horrified because I'm so huge, apparently. I'm also an 8/10 and this is my 2nd baby. It sickens me how people (even heavily overweight men) think its ok to say how huge I am just because I'm pregnant. confused

Quodlibet Fri 13-Sep-13 19:43:11

Agree it's just as annoying being told 'oh you're tiny, you don't look 6 months pregnant'. Errr, are you a midwife? No? Then shhhhh.

LittleBearPad Fri 13-Sep-13 19:44:02

It's so fucking irritating having everyone comment on the size of your bump and bloody rude. Within hours I would be told I was huge, small, showing not showing.

Particular low point was a massage therapist asking me if I was having twins as I was so big. I was 28 weeks and had put on 7 lbs admittedly not the slimmest pre-pregnancy but not what you want to hear when you're meant to be relaxing.

"What a lovely bump".

Not tricky, is it?

SomethingOnce Fri 13-Sep-13 22:12:46

I bet you'll end up saying the same sorts of things yourselves in due course. It's part of the deal smile

Hyperhelpmum Sat 14-Sep-13 08:36:16

I can assure you I will NEVER say 'god you are hige' to someone! Had me first baby 5 years ago and not before or since have I said this! It's bloody rude!

LittleBearPad Sat 14-Sep-13 08:39:06

I won't be commenting. Having had a friend who had IUGR (with massive complications) and then worrying myself over whether my bump was too small because of this (and then too big - thanks pregnancy massage woman) I know it can actually be pretty stressful having people comment.

vix206 Sat 14-Sep-13 08:42:33

I can assure you I'd never comment. I wouldn't have before being pregnant for the first time in 2009, and I won't now. When you say it's part if the deal that implies people are doing it to be purposely facetious, which I find depressing hmm

Hyperhelpmum Sat 14-Sep-13 08:44:13

'huge' I mean!

mrspaddy Sat 14-Sep-13 08:51:31

It is wrong.. I can't understand how people are so professional and yet when it comes to bumps.. So. So rude.

The only appropriate thing to say is you look well, hope you are taking care or yourself, if you need anything.. Etc

If someone has acne or facial hair or whatever, we don't comment.

I made a complaint at work... It got to me too much.

Xenadog Sat 14-Sep-13 08:57:34

Either go down the route of: "I'm sorry are you commenting on my body shape again? Why on earth would you do that? It is just so rude! Clearly you have no manners and I am sure you would not appreciate me talking about your bad skin, shocking dress sense or any of the other things which make you feel bad about your own appearance would you?" Or just tell them eff right off and not comment again as it making you want to do physical harm!

MunchkinJess Sat 14-Sep-13 09:20:18

ive had so many comments at work...are you having twins? !? no? ? oh must be a big baby then!, is your partner tall?? Would explain the big bump?? , gosh are you STILL pregnant? , hello fatso ?, you mean ita going to get bigger? !?! All the above from people at work and worse.

and no it is not part of the course and I have never ever commented on how big or small someone is during pregnancy. its insensitive and down right rude! no excuse for it.

MunchkinJess Sat 14-Sep-13 09:20:18

ive had so many comments at work...are you having twins? !? no? ? oh must be a big baby then!, is your partner tall?? Would explain the big bump?? , gosh are you STILL pregnant? , hello fatso ?, you mean ita going to get bigger? !?! All the above from people at work and worse.

and no it is not part of the course and I have never ever commented on how big or small someone is during pregnancy. its insensitive and down right rude! no excuse for it.

TarkaTheOtter Sat 14-Sep-13 09:57:48

It really doesn't bother me, it's just pregnancy small talk.

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