Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

DP is starting to piss me off...........

21 replies

StormBird · 05/09/2013 22:34

I'm 29 weeks pregnant, I work full time (stressful job but i.leave work at work) and I have a toddler (just 2).

Now, I'm what you call a.'doer' someone who just gets on with it, I don't tend to.moan, I don't ask anything of.anyone unless I have to.

However, my effing other arf, is really starting to get up m nose. I feel like he doesn't see me as 7 months pregnant, in fact I'm.pretty sure it doesn't even cross his mind. He works long hrs and travels alot but when he's here about the extent of his yelp is.picking DS up out of the bath eo I don't strain my tummy and leaving me to.get.on with drying him and getting.him ready.for.bed!!

I don't even think he's asked me how I'm feeling this week.

Just to top my evening off, he loaded the dishwasher tonight (had to pinch myself) then promptly waltzed into the lounge and said 'i'm gonna go.to bed, I'm exhausted. Do me a favour and get up a bit earlier.in the morning will you and make me some sandwiches'!!!!!

Please.......anyone.....somebody...tell.me that I'm well within my right to feel punching him right between the eyes!

What have I got to do to make him see that I'm exhausted, I'dblike to be looked after etc....

Right now he's a stupid.prick!

OP posts:

Report

StormBird · 05/09/2013 22:36

Sorry for typos.....phones eh!

OP posts:

DaleyBump · 05/09/2013 22:37

Punch him and punch him hard. Blame it on hormones.

I do know how you feel though I think a good talk with him is in order.

puggywug81 · 05/09/2013 22:39

Make his sandwiches but put toothpaste or something gross as a filling, when he mentions it you can explain that maybe if you weren't so exhausted and doing so much alone it might not have happened!

Threetofour · 05/09/2013 22:44

Call him out on it..... Seriously I know what you mean I am a doer not a moaner & dh can be the same I am 35 weeks with no 4 and he is often not here or giving the kind of "help" you describe, just be honest I would have told dh where I'd put his lunch box to be honest, don't keep doing otherwise you will end up resenting him you need to be honest about the help you need at the moment

queenofthepirates · 05/09/2013 22:44

Give him something weighing 8 pounds and ask him to carry it for the next two months, all the fecking time.
Kick him repeatedly in the bladder at 2am.
See how he likes it.

Threetofour · 05/09/2013 22:45

ie tell him to take your toddler out first thing on one of the weekend days while you stay in bed.

Wonderstuff · 05/09/2013 22:49

Tell him to stop being a dick. If he persists go AWOL for the weekend leaving him with your toddler.

dopeysheep · 05/09/2013 22:53

Definitely make the sandwiches with Deep Heat or something equally nasty! What an insensitive jerk.

StormBird · 05/09/2013 22:53

Thanks.ladies your responses to my post are.as I'd expect.

My response to DPs request went something like.this ' why don't you shove your sandwiches up your arse and fuck off.out.of.my sight'! Appropriate enough?

The trouble is, I have told him on numerous occasions that I need more help.....that I cant do everything the same way I used to...that I'm starting to struggle and he listens and chips in for a day or 2 then.it all goes back to normal. If you've got any shock tactics up your sleeves do share.cos.i think thats the only way to.make the twonk really take notice.

Puggy - loving the toothpaste suggestion. Still I refuse to give in, he can make.his.own!

OP posts:

gillybeandramaqueen · 06/09/2013 02:19

I would say...

'Yes of course my poor exhausted darling... that's no problem at all... I'll get up a bit earlier in the morning and do that for you...'

...and then don't bother your arse. And tell him afterwards that you were 'just so damn exhausted!!!'

Hehe!! X

gillybeandramaqueen · 06/09/2013 02:21

guys are cocks

TobyLerone · 06/09/2013 06:03

Guys are not cocks.

This one is, though.

badguider · 06/09/2013 06:24

If he listens for a day or two then slips back just keep saying so.
It's not "moaning" to say "you're going to have to do bath tonight, I'm too exhausted" or whatever.

In fact don't "moan", just state that your not doing certain things so he'll have to or that you're going for s nap now.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 06/09/2013 06:37

By 'normal', do you mean that you would ordinarily do everything and make his sandwiches?

Because if so then this is a situation of your own making and you need to be very firm in order to change the status quo.

marriednotdead · 06/09/2013 06:41

Can you take off to friends/siblings/parents for the weekend and leave the 2 year old with him? Accidentally leave your phone/charger behind too.

If he doesn't start doing something you'll end up in hospital on bed rest anyway so time for action.

Asking him to do more may be too vague for him. Say that he needs to do x and y, as you won't be. Simply refuse to, and if he doesn't do it then it doesn't get done.

Get him to bathe LO and while it's happening, get into bed and stay there!

Rockchick1984 · 06/09/2013 07:12

Delegate things! My DH wouldn't do much if I just asked him to "do more" however if I am specific - "I'm shattered, I need you to do X, Y and Z" he will happily get on with it.

Wonderstuff · 06/09/2013 07:45

For me leaving DH with the children worked, he didn't realise/believe how much work they were before he experienced it. He is so much more supportive these days.

Andanotherthing123 · 06/09/2013 09:33

If you've been doing lots of stuff for your DP as the norm in your relationship, then you've got a bit of a task ahead of you. He sounds very willing to let you do everything and as long as you do, he's got no incentive to change. I would set out the jobs you're willing to do and give him his tasks, then let him get on with them or not. Most women I know can't do this as they feel so irritated that they cave in and do it themselves. But if you can hold your own, he'll change because he'll have to. Bloody irritating training to have to with a grown man though. You have my sympathies.

StormBird · 06/09/2013 13:26

No, sorry, I should've explained (tired and grumpy stormbird didn;t make lots of sense last night and I was very cross).

Usually our 'norma'l is that we are a Team and we share the chores and everything but since he's started working away more and more he does less, which in some instances is totally understandable however, I am becoming increasingly more pregnant and its more and more tiring to just keep trying to hold the fort.

So we seem to have gone from one extreme to the other which is why I'm finding it so damn hard to explain to him that I'm struggling.

Anyway, I didn;t need to say anything this morning he just apologized and said that he should think more before he speaks!! He proceeded to make me toast and a decaf coffee before he left and he laid DS's clothes out ready!! Like I said 1 extreme to the fecking other and now I feel bad for diggin him out on here.

But I'm pregnant and volatile so he'll probably piss me off about something else later

MEN!

OP posts:

StormBird · 06/09/2013 13:27

After re-reading - when I said 'he does less' I mean 'not a lot most of the time recently'

make sense?

OP posts:

CruCru · 06/09/2013 23:04

Realistically (if you are like me) you are likely to pull a muscle if you don't start taking things easier and he will have to get on with more.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.