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you are HUGE arn't you?!

(40 Posts)
sprite25 Thu 05-Sep-13 16:26:50

Ok I know this has been done so many times on here and when I read other peoples experiences I just thought it wouldn't bother me BUT...I am getting reeeally fed up with people having no shame in telling me how big I am. I was big (size 14) before I got pregnant but had lost over a stone in the run up to getting pregnant, I'm now at 27 weeks and cant believe how shameless people are in making comments to me! I've had my nan squeezing my hips and telling me I'm 'the size of a house, and its not all baby', one woman at work just flat out telling me I'm 'huge for only 6 months', another woman at work saying how massive I've got, how even my face is filling out and then pointing out to other colleagues (literally pointing her finger) about how big I am. I usually get on with this woman really well but every time I see her its like its all she can talk about! I know I shouldn't be such a sensitive little darling but I've always been self-conscious about my size/weight and sometimes it feels like people saying negative stuff like this to me gets me on a bit of a downer. I know I have put on weight but when I've been measured by my midwife she said I'm just under for my dates and that's fine and hasn't mentioned anything about my weight or size so thought it was all good now I feel like instead of liking my bumpy belly I feel like people are looking at me walking down the street thinking I'm just mega fat. Is it just that people forget what pregnant woman look like and that for some women its normal to not be stick thin with just a football bump??? Sorry for the long rant just had to get it out!

FattyPigston Thu 05-Sep-13 16:49:51

Aww I know how you feel,I've been in tears today feeling so fat and also a bit fed up of feeling 'on show' all the time and the endless comments. People can be so unbelievably rude. Try not to let it get you down,you're growing a baby and you need extra fat reserves for breastfeeding etc...

Rollermum Thu 05-Sep-13 16:54:27

Sympathies indeed Sprite. I am larger than you (an 18) and people really got on my nerves at work as well constantly going on about how massive I was, as if I was a waif to start with or something. I think you're right - people forget what pregnancy looks like.

I think it is rude and insensitive tbh - everytime someone said it I would get more scared if having a giant baby. I've asked MW and GP if the baby seems massive and they are generally dismissive.

BurnThisDiscoDown Thu 05-Sep-13 17:00:20

I was pregnant at the same time as a work colleague (who was 5'6 and a size 8 to my 5'1 size 14) and all the way through my pre

BurnThisDiscoDown Thu 05-Sep-13 17:02:34

Sorry, toddler climbing on me! All the way through people kept saying "ooh, you're much bigger than X, aren't you?". Well yes, I started off bigger and I'm a month further along. Now sod off!

Pascha Thu 05-Sep-13 17:03:09

I think a well-placed ODFOD can work here. Every time someone says anything.

upsydaisy33 Thu 05-Sep-13 17:35:39

I heard a good suggestion in response to this:
1) does it bother you? (Because clearly it does and the problem is theirs, not yours, so you are politely implying this to them)

I have had this all the way through, am similar size to you. I know i have a big bump, but it is not actually measuring large for mw, it is just the way i carry.
It has actually got much better in the last few weeks now I am in the last trimester, i think maybe either i am seeing fewer people or it is more expected for me to have a bump...i hope things get better for you.

TeaAndANatter Thu 05-Sep-13 19:58:25

How about, 'yes, I ate the last person who felt the need to comment'. Yum.

My gut instinct is that it's people who feel some deep sense of regret, envy or bitterness that get so invested in other women's pregnancies.

Roanna94 Thu 05-Sep-13 21:11:27

A size 14 isn't big, you were thinner than I was when I got pregnant. I was and still am a 16 and my fiances side of the family won't stop telling me how big i am for 13 weeks. My sister in law keeps insisting that i look awful whenever i see her (even if i thought i was having a good day?). Though today she said i looked 'a lot better than usual', was that supposed to be a compliment?

I really do sympathize.

Stom91 Thu 05-Sep-13 21:24:30

people at work love to tell me im huge for 6 months... went to mw today and im measuring the right size for how far along i am.. so a great big F -you to those that say im huge..
im 5ft2 and a size 14.
and don't you hate it when people just touch your bump without asking, i have a ling about being touched, i hate it and really winds me up when people think that can put their hand all over you just cos you're pregnant.. grr.

Stom91 Thu 05-Sep-13 21:25:09

thing**

Strokethefurrywall Thu 05-Sep-13 22:55:37

People are idiots.

Nobody said anything to me when I was pregnant about my size or tried to touch my bump, but that's probably because I had "fuck off" stamped on my forehead.

I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone to get fucked if they said the same to me, or felt the need to comment on my shape or size. It is absolutely unacceptable - the only thing people should say to pregnant women is "you look beautiful!" or "you're absolutely blooming, pregnancy really suits you!" - there is no excuse for anything other than positive comments.

OP you're not being a sensitive little darling. The next time she does it, say "at least I've got an excuse to have a belly - what's yours?"

Bitch.

DaleyBump Thu 05-Sep-13 23:01:45

I am in EXACTLY the same position as you. I was a size 14 pre pregnancy, had lost two stone and am now 27+5 and people won't stop telling me that I won't go to term and that I'm huge. Fair enough, I feel like si have my own gravitational pull but that's not for other people to point out. My sister was making fun of me the other day and I kind of went off on one and asked her if she liked insulting pregnant women. It really shut her up. You have my sympathy flowers

DaleyBump Thu 05-Sep-13 23:02:34

*I

MrsKwazii Thu 05-Sep-13 23:17:19

"Are you sure there's only one in there? Hahaha!" The next person who says that to me is definitely going to get it in the neck. It wasn't funny the first time and really isn't when you've heard it every day or so for months. Haven't people heard about the concept of an internal monologue? Grrrr <and breathe> <feels post rant glow approaching>

LateBear Fri 06-Sep-13 09:01:09

From my MIL I get the more subtle 'oh I put it on all round the back too' then mentions (again) how my SIL (her DD) only had a neat little bump in the front. Like i need reminding - I saw that myself, and now she's back in her size 10 clothes, I'm worried about ever getting back into a 12/14
I hadn't thought I was too bad but she goes on about how huge 'some women' get when pregnant (ie including me), except for her DD, every time I see her, but never says anything directly so there's nothing I can say back, and believe me i would!

sprite25 Fri 06-Sep-13 09:13:56

Thanks to everyone who posted, I really did think I was over reacting but I'm just sick of hearing it (like I'm sure we all are). The same lady who mentions it all the time also says to me every time 'are you sure its not twins?' yes I'm sure its not twins!!! I just don't understand why just because we're pregnant we somehow become public property for people to just comment on when ever they feel like it, if they cant say anything nice then why say anything at all. People seem to think that constantly bombarding us preggers with negative comments is fine and has no impact (comments on size/weight, the delight in trying to terrify us with horror birthing stories, telling us how awful we will feel once baby is here because we wont ever sleep again) whats wrong with being bloody positive eh?!

Franykins Fri 06-Sep-13 09:27:31

I am 28 weeks tomorrow and HUGE. I was a size 14 before falling pg. People love to comment on how big I am already and I get a lot of 'oh you must be having twins' well yes I am thank you very much! I can only assume this is going to get much worse as I get much bigger! However, I love my twin baby bump, no idea how much 'over' I am measuring as my mw keeps saying oh there's really no point in measuring you as there is no normal for multiples. I might ask her to today though just to see.

I know I'm not quite in the same situation as I am carry twins but the comments are still rather insensitive I think. No one should comment on someone's size when pregnant. We are doing something amazing and should be congratulated for it, not made it feel fat/shit.

flowers for you sprite25

afrikat Fri 06-Sep-13 09:38:00

In the space of a day this week I was told my bump was huge and was I sure it wasn't twins and also it was very neat and I looked too small for 38 weeks. Basically no one has a fucking clue they just feel the need to comment for no apparent reason. From now on the only comment I am ever going to give to a pregnant woman is 'oh you look beautiful'. That's all that is needed!!

mycatlikestwiglets Fri 06-Sep-13 12:04:41

I honestly think the majority of people just have no idea what a heavily pregnant woman looks like. I'm a size 6-8 and all bump - I'm only 5'3" so my pregnancies just stick out, I assume because there isn't really anywhere else for the baby to go. I've had people asking me for weeks (I'm 32 weeks atm) when the baby's due and looking like hmm when I say end of October (and I measure spot on for my dates). Just this morning someone commented at what a big baby it looks likely to be. I just smile and shrug it off now - my last baby was fairly sizeable at just under 9lbs so I sometimes mention that, but it is pretty annoying!

mrspaddy Fri 06-Sep-13 12:20:07

No you are not overreacting Op.. People are very insensitive. I ad a senior work colleague say ughhhh you are massive, my breasts were very big etc. this was early on.

I am lucky, a teacher I have been off since July and don't have to deal with them now. I actually didn't get ht big after that though.. For the record, I said it to the Headteacher that I wasn't happy with the lack of professionalism. We have large bitchy enough staff.

The upside is, members of the public have been so lovely. This week alone ( I am full term now) I had a woman give me a ticket for car parks, another leg me ahead in a queue and another lift all my shopping

Really appreciated it.

Try not to worry about them.. But do speak up.. Say you think that is is bad manners.

mrspaddy Fri 06-Sep-13 12:21:55

Let me go ahead of her

Yonionekanobe Fri 06-Sep-13 12:25:03

Someone in the office I don't know asked me how far along I am yesterday. When I said 23 weeks she did a face...you know the one hmm

And I think you all look beautiful not that I can see you.

SaucyJack Fri 06-Sep-13 12:42:45

Take it as a compliment (even if the biatch doesn't mean it as one). Being pregnant is awesome. I can't wait to get a proper bump this time round.

moanymandy Fri 06-Sep-13 13:43:52

my sil was posting on Facebook about some excercise thing she has started doing. saying how hard it is etc and then had the cheek to tag me in it saying she will get me on it after I've had the baby! shock
I told her in the nicest way that I haven't finished growing the baby so kindly piss off with your weight comments!
my weight is her issue not mine especially as im still pregnant so not alot I can do about it right now!

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