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Crying on the bathroom floor.

(62 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Mon 02-Sep-13 09:48:43

Morning everyone, I don't really know what I need, advice or reassurance but I just need to have a release.

Due to health issues I have it was a long journey get the "ok" from my Consultants to try and get pregnant and me and my husband couldn't believe it when we then got pregnant on our first month of trying. I am excited, I really am, but I'm miserable too.

I naively thought pregnancy would be a magical time but I'm only 10 weeks in and sick of it already. I've had two separate occasions of bleeding, the first one turned out to be ok but I'm currently awaiting my 2 ND scan so make sure baby is still ok. I have felt ill for the last 4 weeks, I'm absolutely exhausted and I haven't seen friends and family for so long because I just can't bring myself to leave the house. I'm having painful restless legs, heads, nausea and all I seem to be living off is cheeses and onion crisps and crackers. The house is an absolute mess but I jut don't have the energy to care or do anything about it.

I woke up this morning with my usual nausea but then I realised that it wasn't just nausea this time but that I was actually going to be sick. Quick dart to the bathroom and then the vomiting started.

When I stopped being sick I just curled up on the bathroom mat and started crying. My crying episode lasted for ages. I only started feeling better when one of my gorgeous cats wondered in and was available for cuddles.

I feel awful when so many women would give anything to be pregnant, but I'm just so tired and ill. I want to have a happy pregnancy, not a miserable one. I just can't see how I'm going to cope with feeling like this for much longer.

Thank you for listening x x

ZingWantsCake Wed 04-Sep-13 16:53:44

thanks for update, so delighted for you!thanks

what a relief! wink

jellyandcake Wed 04-Sep-13 16:47:57

Posted too soon! Also feel bad as I had a mc in June and should be grateful for this pregnancy (and I am). I told my Dh that if I were to lose this one I couldn't try again as I simply couldn't go through early pregnancy again. It is awful.

However, I loved the second half of pregnancy, even the final weeks. I had a great birth and obviously it's all worth it for the lovely baby in the end. It really does get better!

jellyandcake Wed 04-Sep-13 16:44:10

Six weeks here and was lying on the bathroom floor last night resolving to see a doctor and beg for some help. Have felt better today but eaten crisps, crackers, white bread and peanut butter and been drinking coke. So I feel guilty about my crappy diet and the amount of cbeebies my toddler is watching. Last time, the vomiting started at nine weeks and went on til week 21. I keep getting very upset about the prospect of the vomiting starting up (only nausea so far) and very depressed about the idea offeeling like this for another 15 weeks if it's the same as my first pregnancy.

PrincessKitKat Wed 04-Sep-13 16:41:56

Hurrah for the bean! So pleased for you Writer, it must be a massive relief smile

DragonyOldClothCatPuss Wed 04-Sep-13 14:15:28

Yay for a wriggling bean! grin
12.5 here and feeling rough rough rough! I had a couple of days of feeling better at the weekend, and now I just want to crawl into bed and hide again! sad

middleclassdystopia Wed 04-Sep-13 13:19:58

Hi i'm on my third pregnancy and had forgotten as there is a big gap between this abd my youngest.

Now nearly 8 weeks and I feel awful. 24 hour nausea, utter exhaustion and look like a zombie. I'm eating rubbish too.

I'm so glad your scan went okay. I hate the first trimester it's evil.

vkinski Wed 04-Sep-13 11:56:26

Amazing news writer! I have been thinking about you all morning. Hope this helps you to feel a tiny bit better and to look forward to a stage when you won't be feeling this rubbish! Take care xx

Writerwannabe83 Wed 04-Sep-13 11:43:16

My scan went very well today - there was an obvious, very active and wriggly baby in there!! I'm so relieved!!

Sorry you feel so crap, I remember that time well. I vowed not to do it again as the first trimester was so awful.

My babies are nearly one and I am very broody and miss being pregnant! You will forget smile

vkinski Wed 04-Sep-13 08:43:48

Good luck for today writer xx

PrincessKitKat Tue 03-Sep-13 22:29:24

Really glad you had a better day today Writer.

Good luck for tomorrow!

bouncysmiley Tue 03-Sep-13 20:41:42

Congratulations and it does get better. I am just entering into morning sickness territory with number two. Last time it got better after week 10. Try eating something small regularly and fizzy water. I hope you're feeling better soon.

FatPenguin Tue 03-Sep-13 19:41:16

gawjus - don't you worry about work, you and baby have to come first. You are pregnant and your employer has to accept you are not fit for work. It will get better x

FatPenguin Tue 03-Sep-13 19:37:38

Well done! grin the good days make the bad days easier to deal with. I managed to go to Morrisons earlier and didn't heave once, go me! I did however stand sniffing the fabric softeners for 10 minutes.

Good luck for scan tomorrow, let us know how you get on?

Writerwannabe83 Tue 03-Sep-13 18:30:34

Well I have made it through the day with no vomiting!! grin

I haven't had any tears either...

Maybe yesterday was just a one-off ..... fingers crossed!!! smile

TarkaTheOtter Tue 03-Sep-13 11:10:34

I agree, the end of the first trimester is the worst bit of pregnancy for me. Just eat what you can and survive it. You can catch up on 5 a day later in pregnancy.

ZingWantsCake Tue 03-Sep-13 10:59:50

writer <waves, 'tis me Zing! x>

first 3 months are tough going
and for me 8-11 weeks were typically the worst ( head in the loo 5x a day).

when the nausea an vomiting ease up you will fell better and the 2nd trimester tends to be lovely and you'll get a bit of your energy back.

you have plenty of time to enjoy your pg - but try to be level headed and not have expectations of what pg should be like!
also some people might look lovely, but could suffer terribly!

Remember that line from Friends when Phoebe gets a compliment about how she's glowing?
she snaps back at Joey that her cool pregnant lady "glow" is from throwing up all morning. grin

keep that in mind. good luck thanks

PrincessKitKat Tue 03-Sep-13 10:17:31

Great to hear that you're getting support at work Writer. Try to relax today.

Everything crossed for good news tomorrow.

x0gawjus0x Tue 03-Sep-13 10:06:16

Youre lucky with work, i am 14 weeks today and cannot sit or stand without being sick. I was hospitalised last wk for high fever and was on a drip im now bed bound and been signed off work for a week my manager basically hung up on me when i told her so not only do i feel like im in my death bed ive got constant worry about work now too i sure hope theres light at the end of this tunnel n hope you dont suffer as much as some x

Writerwannabe83 Tue 03-Sep-13 09:39:47

I won't bother with the GP/MW - after all, I have got a scan in the morning, I'm not sure what else they could do?

I'm just staying in bed all day and resting and willing my Bean to hang on.

My Big Boss just called (who is lovely) and said under no circumstances am I to return to work all week. She said that my baby is what's important and if me going off sick for a month is what's needed then that's absolutely what she wants me to do smile She is so supportive. It really helps that I know I don't need to worry about work alongside everything else x

PrincessKitKat Tue 03-Sep-13 09:17:00

Could it just be the remains of the bleeding the other day being flushed out?
Try to keep calm & call your MW or GP x

Writerwannabe83 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:55:08

Spoke to soon - brown stringy mucus on the toilet paper... hmm

Writerwannabe83 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:28:26

Course I will princess - I'm actually feeling pretty positive about it as I didn't have any bleeding yesterday. Still having the odd stomach ache and twinge though, but time will tell.

The problem I have now is trying to work out whether I'm hungry or I'm going to be sick. I have this horrible feeling in my stomach and can't decide whether to have another biscuit to see if it settles down or whether I need to make a dash to the bathroom.... hmm

PrincessKitKat Tue 03-Sep-13 08:09:44

Pleased to hear you're a bit better today writer. I'm having my anti-sickness Cheerios in bed too smile

Let us know how your scan goes tomorrow please? Good luck.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 03-Sep-13 07:32:35

Haha Mrs Spencer - I feel a bit better now about all the pointless food I am eating : dry crackers, dry biscuits, chocolate milkshakes, yogurts, apples, custard and cheese and onion crisps smile

I actually can't remember the last time I ate a meal hmm smile

That's a good idea about my wee, thanks smile

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