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Pregnant with toddler - how are you coping?

(59 Posts)
NumberTwoDue Wed 28-Aug-13 14:25:11

Because I'm not, basically.... DD is 21 months and in full flung tantrum, no-no-no-ing, throwing, naughty, shouty mode. We've also had a brief period of abysmal sleep (which thankfully I think we're through now) and I'm just feeling so tired and weepy and like I'm being a really rubbish mum for her. She's normally so well behaved and fun, but this past month or so has been a bit soul destroying and I'm finding it worse as I get more pregnant and hormonal (am 31 weeks). Normally I can pick my battles, keep calm and control the situation, but at the moment I'm flying from terribly upset to furious without warning. It's so knackering, being pregnant. Why didn't I remember that?!

Any survival tips greatly appreciated... Me too stories would be good too. Just feel so inept while everyone else around me seems to be coping with their kids beautifully.

TripleRock Wed 28-Aug-13 14:53:57

Me to, me too, mee tooo!

I'm 37.3 and DD is 2.10.

Since I started mat leave and she cut right down at nursery I've been finding things a bit of a struggle. I also have SPD, not severe thankfully, but I just can't get down on the floor or chase her around like we would both like.

Today is her one day a week at nursery so I'm making the most if doing things at my own pace and resting.

GeppaGip Wed 28-Aug-13 15:03:10

Ah, me too!

We are actually mostly through a tantrum phase (they seem to last a week or so) so he is sweet again. My major moan is that my now 22 month old needs to go out and burn lots of energy every single day and my 25 week bump, lack of energy and freak hot weather have combined to make this completely torturous.

I can't let him free in the park because he runs off and I have to chase after him and drag the pram so we can't even go to the only place all my friends say was a life saver for them with their obedient toddlers. Worse still, he is prone to very public melt downs if you try and steer him in a different direction to the one you need to go in. The park is currently my real nemesis. Or any open space.

I can street walk him on his reins which he loves, but that means a two hour walk in this heat for me too to tire him out. The only person that comes back knackered and needing a nap if we don't stretch it out long enough is me.

I totally feel your pain. It is a miserable experience.

It's very tough.
Ds is 3 and 4 months and dd is 20 months!
I just spend all my time trying to tire them out. Dh works away during the weeks too at the moment so i'm finding bedtime tricky on my own.

Razzdazz Wed 28-Aug-13 15:11:30

I also want to cry!! Have a VERY active 17 month old and am 34 weeks with a bump measuring 44 due to polyhydramious . Bloody awful, I physically can not run after him and have become a hermit in my home which of course makes him even more hard work. Feel like my other two dc have had a poor summer holiday sad

Yonionekanobe Wed 28-Aug-13 15:37:59

Badly is the short answer. I am still suffering with sickness and am absolutely exhausted. I work full time at least so she has nursery/grandparents to wear her out for me!!

Norfolknway Wed 28-Aug-13 15:50:28

I'm 31 weeks with DD who is 2.2 - I have no advice!
Just try and make life easier for yourself for a bit, I suppose. Movie afternoons, pasta/pesto dinners, online shopping, that sort of thing!

I'm hoping toddler +newborn is easier than toddler+mahoosive pregnant me grin

Ezza1 Wed 28-Aug-13 17:33:42

I coped first time round tremendously well - older DCs are now 15 and 12.

However....

Im currently 37 weeks with 4th and I'm finding my 3 year old incredibly hard work. I'm obviously that much older this time (shock ) but my God I'm sure it wasn't this difficult back then! (selective memory perhaps. ..hmm )

Suffering badly from SPD which is horrid and feeling frustrated that I can't do anything much with 3 year old.

In short, I'm bloody miserable sad grin and cannot wait for this little one to arrive!

MsFiremanSam Wed 28-Aug-13 17:46:53

If it helps, having a newborn and a toddler is a MILLION times easier than being pregnant. My DD is 2 weeks, DS nearly 3, and I found pregnancy utterly exhausting. I was a miserable cow for the vast majority of it, and a wreck for the last month. Now, I feel so much better, more energetic and able to chase after my toddler - hang on in there, get all the help you can, and see the light at the end if the tunnel!

racmun Wed 28-Aug-13 17:57:24

Ds has just turned three and I'm 28 weeks. I feellike a bad mother today - been to the shops (he walked round) had lunch, tried to play in the garden which resulted in a mega strop from him, read him some stories but eventually I gave up and he is now watching tv.

I agree ds needs to burn off loads and loads of energy ideally in a park but I just can't face taking him as it is sooooo bloody hot and I end up feeling totally wrecked!

Roll on return to Pre school next week and some cooler weather!

TripleRock Wed 28-Aug-13 18:20:17

It doesn't help that all of our usual haunts and activities are closed for the Summer, so the week feels very long now I'm on mat leave.

I had envisaged taking her to soft play, but I just couldn't manage to fit through the apparatus blush

Plus it's Summer holidays so everywhere is so packed and busy. Moan, moan, moan!

BlackholesAndRevelations Wed 28-Aug-13 18:37:01

Lovely lentils- come and join us on the "expecting dc3" thread!

feekerry Wed 28-Aug-13 18:42:26

oh me too.
i cannot wait till this baby is here. nothing can be worse than being pg with a toddler!
dd is 17 m and a full on tantruming screeching drama queen.
im 16 weeks pg. this is hard

NumberTwoDue Wed 28-Aug-13 18:55:45

I'm sorry that you're all having a hard time too ... On the other hand, very pleased it isn't just me! Misery loves company and all that. Massive thank you to MsFiremanSam - you've just given me hope... Off for another irrational weep....

cravingcake Wed 28-Aug-13 19:36:35

Another one here, 18 weeks pg & DS is 22 months with more energy than ever. My only way of surviving is group trips to the park (my other mum & dad friends are really good at helping me chase DS whenever necessary), swimming as it wears him out, cbeebies/kids films and sending him to the grandparents for a few hours. I have days when i feel like a very bad mum as we're struggling with tantrums and fussy eating at the moment, i just dont have the energy to be as consistent as i'd like.

princesscupcakemummyb Wed 28-Aug-13 19:40:36

im 30+4 and the toddler is 2 in november shes the youngest shes actually very easy going so i am lucky how ever shes still breastfed and is going through a very clingy stage so exhausted beyond means is not the word the oldest is dc1 whos 4 i think we all know where each other is coming from ladies lol flowers smile

FredKiller Wed 28-Aug-13 19:43:39

Signing in. Felt like sobbing most of today. 35 weeks (although measuring 37) and DS is 2.2. He's been ok, but it's just so hard to motivate myself, especially in this heat.

Oh thank you Blackholes smile

Breadrollsbuns Wed 28-Aug-13 19:48:57

Me too - 39 weeks with an 18 month old, I'm knackered and feeling like the most inadequate mother ever... it also looks like DS has either chickenpox or hand foot and mouth, which has tipped me over the edge sad

soozlewoozle Wed 28-Aug-13 20:04:00

Me too 10 weeks with 2.9 dd. I feel sick all the time and just want to sleep all the time. Back to work next week and I am dreading it :-(

HarryandJess Wed 28-Aug-13 20:14:56

Me too.
This thread is so reassuring. I'm 38 weeks with a 14 month old and have had morning sickness since I was around 8 weeks pregnant. I have been feeling like the worst Mother in the world and have been heavily reliant on CBeebies and Peppa Pig for the past few months. The heatwave we had was particularly bad. My DS has also had chickenpox, tonsilitis and numerous colds during this time (can really empathise Breadrollsbuns ).
MsFiremanSam thankyou for your words of encouragement. I keep thinking that it can't get any worse and that we are nearly there now.

TripleRock Wed 28-Aug-13 20:23:13

Yes, we may have watched the Gruffallo's Child DVD twice today blush

Munchkinsmama Wed 28-Aug-13 20:27:13

Ha, so glad to read i'm not the only one struggling. Had a tough day today (for no real apparent reason) but i've struggled to keep my cool during ds's meltdowns because he wants daddy to wipe his face, or mummy to hold the book while daddy reads it.....!!! Seriously!!

Ds is 20 months and i'm 33 weeks. Bump is huge and at a growth scan last week i got the fantastic news that I'm having another hefty baby (ds was almost 9lb!!)

Oh, and i'm also feeling massively guilty because i'm not fully enjoying my last weeks with ds before its all disrupted by soaking up all the quality time, combine with pangs of guilt knowing i'm going to have even less time once the baby comes. Bloody hormones!!

Sometimes i wish i could just freeze time!!!

extracrunchy Wed 28-Aug-13 20:27:48

Ooh ooh and me and me!!

And it's coincided with shouty, whiny, horrible toddler phase and less sleeping and possibly dropping nap and ARGH...
I feel permanently guilty for being knackered and no fun for DS, and I'm unforgivably grumpy with poor DH.

No idea I'm going to get through the final weeks. On the plus side, the whole thing does feel like it's going much faster this time!

Breadrollsbuns Wed 28-Aug-13 20:38:44

Thanks HarryandJess smile
Hearing about other people's difficulties is strangely comforting - thanks ladies grin

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