Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

A thread for elderberries who are hovering in the bfp helicopter

(990 Posts)

All elderberry grads welcome and anyone who fills berry criteria: ttc #1 a long time now finally bagged that elusive bfp, over 30...

Come join the next stage of the journey and compare sickness reports!! grin

Hello hello

I'm here and still a bit of a mess really. Actually I'm ok, just more in denial and staying detached from things. I booked a private scan for next week where I'll be 10 weeks (in my mmc the foetus measured around 10 weeks so this feels like crunch time for me). Scary Mary.

Tallyra Mon 19-Aug-13 17:45:30

Hi thunder! Fingers crossed for you. I'm in the same boat - I won't be happy until I pass 9 weeks and further.

Hello, thanks for the new thread barking, looks like just what we need <nods approvingly> How're you getting on?

Nice to see you Thunder grin, how are you feeling? Think we've all felt a bit lost since those bfps. Can't believe you're 9 weeks already...I'm trailing behind you at somewhere around 5. I'm in permanent paranoia mode, taking every twinge as a sign that something's gone wrong! Fingers crossed for your scan, what day is it? I've also booked a private scan, I'll be somewhere around 8 weeks but thinking of pushing it back to 10wks as the baby stopped developing at 8+2 last time, so not sure an 8wk scan will actually reassure me. Torn between wanting to check that everything is ok ASAP, and wanting to wait until I'm past that horrible 8th week.

Oh hi Tally! Taking too long to type, clearly..

Tallyra Mon 19-Aug-13 17:58:49

and yes, thank you for the thread barking. I did look for some new bfp type threads but there wasn't anything I felt comfortable joining.

Oh I feel really pleased to be here, thank you barking!

boom lost is exactly the word. I have felt totally cast adrift really and the only salvation is how busy things have been. What happened last time at 8 weeks? I have not been that paranoid really because last time my body had no idea what was going on so my biggest fear is knowing that yet again I've been walking around for weeks not knowing things have gone wrong.

My scan is next tues morning

They did actually do a cheeky scan when I saw the endo and it killed a few demons actually seeing a blurry bean and fluttery heartbeat.

So when's everyone's edd?

Oooh only a week to wait thunder...although lovely that you've already seen the little blob flickering away. I sooo want a personal scan machine.

You mean what happened to us at 8wks? I had an early dating scan as didn't know my dates and saw a lovely heartbeat at 8wks, then I had a mmc at 10wk and they measured the fetus as being 8+2. So everything must have stopped literally two days after the scan. What you said about walking around oblivious to the fact that things had gone wrong is EXACTLY what I'm stressing about. I don't think it helps that I have no idea what went wrong last time.

Anyway, in an attempt to be positive, my edd is 23rd April. Are you a March'er?

Oh god boom that is so awful. No indication at all at the scan? It messes with your head eh?

I'm quite lucky in that if we get through the scan on tues, the dating scan is not long after- on the 7th sept. so they're more manageable stepping stones.

Can you do scans? Maybe we should all go in on a machine to share (or would we all end up fighting over it?!)

24th March here....at the moment....

Sorry for talking so much, not being on other threads seems to have bottled up a bit and its all coming out now!

haycorn Mon 19-Aug-13 18:46:45

Great idea to start a thread Barking! I am feeling a little bit crazy at the moment because I have been waiting for this BFP for over a year and really want to be happy about it, but at the same time I don't want to think about it too much in case it doesn't stick around. I think I'm driving poor hubby a bit mad by starting conversations about it and then deciding I don't want to talk about it and cutting him off! I have had a look at a few other threads, and the berry grads seem very nice, but I just feel like a bit of a fraud at the moment, as if I don't really have a right to talk about being pregnant because I am barely there.

Does that make any sense? God, I can only be about 5 weeks. The next 7 are going to be unbearable.

Tallyra Mon 19-Aug-13 20:06:17

I'm 5w3 today, and my edd is 17th April I believe.

I had a nightmare the first time, had hg and a scan at 7 weeks after I was admitted, then got all the way to the 12 weeks, with debilitating sickness the entire way through, to find that it stopped at around about 8-9w and the last 3 weeks of sickness were completely unnecessary. the next 2 times I had the early scan fine (again because I'd been admitted) and I managed to get scanned at about 8/9 weeks for 'reassurance' (i hate that phrase, it is not what the scan was for, for me), and because I was still in hospital they got me in to the operating theatre pretty quickly both times so didn't walk around not knowing, thank god.

However, this time I am preparing for the worst but trying to be positive. I'm not sick yet, so that's a good sign!

tally so hard and horrible for you. 'Normal' first trimester horribleness is bad enough with nothing to show for it but being that severely ill is something else.

hay I feel like a fraud too! At the two scans I've ever had I've still been astounded that anything was in there and I wasn't making it all up!

haycorn Mon 19-Aug-13 20:37:29

Can I ask a couple of stupid questions?

Re. dating - doctors date from last period right? So although conception for me probably happened about 3 weeks ago, they would call me 5 weeks pregnant, is that right? And if so, does that mean that all the big dates throughout the pregnancy (12 week scan etc.) are the longer last period date?

Also, (feel free to ignore if its something you'd rather not talk about) what is an MMC as opposed to an MC?

Thanks ladies

Hi haycorn. Yep they go off the first day if your last period rather than conception. I think this is because they consider a pregnancy to be 40 weeks on average which includes those 2ish weeks beforehand. At the dating scan they measure the foetus and date from there but use the same methodology. I think...?

A missed miscarriage (mmc) is one that happens without any sign- so with a lot of miscarriages you'll get warning that its going wrong- bleeding etc (although not all bleeding means its gone wrong) but with my mmc the foetus stopped at 10 weeks but my body didn't do anything about it idiot

I'm sure the others can explain much better..

Wimwom Mon 19-Aug-13 21:05:35

Cam I pop in and say congrats to you all! I was briefly a berry but realised I was a bit ahead an needed IVF so moved to egg buddies - but have kept an eye on you all! A long time later I am now six weeks - and having all the panics that you guys seem to be having too!

Yes, wise thunder is correct in all she says. All official dates have two extra weeks tagged on at the front. Hence I conceived around about 3 weeks ago but am actually 5 weeks pregnant. Ish.

MMC is where the body doesn't realise the baby has died and keeps producing pregnancy hormones, so you don't miscarry straight away. My body is equally stupid and let me wander round for nearly three weeks thinking I was growing a baby. That's why the thought of a scan is appealing and terrifying in equal measure.

And no, I can't really do scans in that I can't do all the measurements, but fairly sure I could find a heartbeat! Shall we start a collection plate?

Hooray tally, long may the sickness stay away!

Tallyra Mon 19-Aug-13 21:17:42

thunder, that's exactly it. stupid body doesn't know the difference between a growing and not growing foetus.

haycorn Mon 19-Aug-13 21:37:14

Oh god, that's awful. So all this time I've been telling myself that I must still be pregnant because I haven't had any bleeding, but actually it could stop growing at any point without you even knowing. Blooming heck, getting a BFP really is just the first hurdle isn't it?

P.S. Hi wimwom!

Tallyra Mon 19-Aug-13 23:36:46

on no haycorn, we aren't trying to scare you. I didn't realise it was so common amongst us berries, but I'm sure it's not actually that common - we've filled up the percentage chance so you won't have to!

MMC is my biggest fear, since my morning sickness stopped I have been worrying almost 24 hours a day.
I'm due around 24 March too, am 9 weeks tomorrow. Am dreading the scan at 13 weeks as I saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks and am petrified there's going to be nothing there this time

Hi wim and massive congratulations! You going to stick around here for a bit?

Hi merk and sorry to hear you are still feeling stressed. You going to go for another scan when you get home?

One day at a time berries, it is a slow old slog but its the only way forward.

Wish I could sleep damnit!

Hello all! And an extra hello to wim grin
I worked out that I was exactly 5 weeks pg today! And according to google, my edd will be 22 April grin .

At the moment both myself and DP keep saying 'if' before every mention, e.g. 'if all goes well...' and 'if nothing goes wrong'. Neither of us seem capable of stating it as a given, eg 'I will be 5 months pg at Christmas.' Which I'm finding a little depressing. I wish I could be more positive/confident. I'm actually really looking forward to going back to work so I can be very busy and that way half term will fly by and I will have had the 12 week scan and all will be lovely!

Oh, and a stupid question. When I get home, do I just call the gp and tell them I'm pg and then I don't hear anything until I get a letter with an appointment for a scan?

Hi barking, yeah we are in the 'if' camp too and have never been out of it!

GPs - depends where you are I think. With my lot you ring them or the midwife direct and they put you on the system. Then you get your booking-in appt at 8-10 weeks, where you answer questions for 1.5 hours, and from this you are then sent your scan date. Best to give them a ring and see what the procedure is with you.

Tallyra Tue 20-Aug-13 08:37:50

aaand today I feel like crap. trying to force breakfast down isn't easy when you run out of milk and the cereal is all dry, but when you feel shaky and a bit ill its even harder. Here we go again...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now