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PG after MC, the new and shiny POSIFRICKINTIVITY thread...

(996 Posts)
SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 15-Aug-13 10:03:52

Oops! I posted the last post and didn't link to a new thread! Sorry!
Anyway, here it is, come on in for the best support going and a safe place to vent. grin and a lovely squishy new set of twins

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 26-Aug-13 09:03:02

I'm assuming shell has most things from dc but I've just remembered: cereal bars for bedside cabinet and night feeds!! How hungry do you get in the wee hours feeding?! It's all coming back to me! grin

JanieLovesLuckySocks Mon 26-Aug-13 09:50:00

hey bambamb! congrats on our pg smile i'm 27 and a bit weeks and there are a good few of us around the same stage so you're very welcome to join the gang! the anxiety remains but not as much as the early days!

i checked my 'what to expect' phone app this morning...12wks and 5 days to go! 12 sounds waaaaaay less than 13! no long teens eek! god knows what ill be like when it gets to single figures!! eek!

donnab1983 Mon 26-Aug-13 12:56:26

Hi, Im new here! I have a DD of 4, but in the past year I've had a mmc and mc, I am now 9 weeks pregnant and had a scan at 8 weeks which was all fine! BUT, yesterday and today I have had a light brown discharge nearly every time I've went to the toilet, and am now worried again.

Has anyone else had this and it all been fine?? x

andadietcoke Mon 26-Aug-13 13:09:20

Hi donna welcome, and congratulations! I had brown bleeding/spotting on and off from 7w to about 23w and everything continues to be fine (37+6 today).

If you have any pain as well ring your local EPU, otherwise take it easy and see what happens - mine would be worse after exercise or a big poo. I got to the point where I'd only wear black knickers because it was only a little bit and it upset me more to see it. In the end I was diagnosed with a cervical ectropion which is completely normal, and not associated with any poor outcomes for the pregnancy. There are lots of other benign explanations for brown bleeding too -
when I first went to the EPU they thought it was old blood from implantation.

Bodicea Mon 26-Aug-13 13:43:38

That for all baby shower reps. Thinking of going for meal now. I just think it might be a bit awkward getting different groups of friends together in a house playing games in the middle of the day.

Hi Donna congrats, I think most of us here have had spotting in the early stages. It's a normal
Part of early pregnancy. You only really have to be concerned if it turns into heavy bleeding. Try not to worry especially if you had Normal scan recently. If it was 8weeks it is pretty big and established so a bit of brown spotting cant possible be the pregnancy :-)

donnab1983 Mon 26-Aug-13 13:47:26

Thanks andadietcoke & bodicea that does make me feel a bit better, I was just getting my confidence up after the scan and then this happens, fingers crossed everythings fine smile

Pixielady83 Mon 26-Aug-13 15:21:40

Welcome Donna and bambam hope everything goes smoothly for you smile

good lists guys, I have forgotten so much so will find them very useful hopefully once I get to bag packing stage!

so told parents at wkd, my mum was surprised but stayed helpfully low key, not over excited and not too many questions. thankfully she gets that there is a long way to go yet. MIL on the other hand angry thankfully I wasn't present for the conversation i might have screamed at her but first response was 'what a shame due date isn't a week earlier we could have all (her, SIL, BIL, 3 kids) come up for half term week'. what to sit and wait for me to go into labour?! or to completely overwhelm me by visiting every day and not going away again? when DH said, no this time we are not having visitors in the first week she completely disregarded it and said she would be on the first train up. Last time she did just that and stayed 4 days, coming to every hospital visiting time and making DH run around cooking for her and all sorts. I was post op, struggling to bf (really didn't need MIL audience for that bit) and just needed DH to be with me, not have to concentrate on her sad

DH has said he will have a very strong 'we will tell you when we are ready for visitors' conversation with her but has also said that he doesn't know if he will manage to get through to her... We are going to focus on saying we want to prioritize DD having time with just us and baby before visitors and talk about bf establishment etc (although she won't get that, she thinks that bf is very easy and was astonished it didn't work out for us). the trouble is she lives 6 hours drive away and so won't just come for one visit, she expects to come for several days. Even if she stays elsewhere she still expects meals at ours and is at our house all day long. This must sound ridiculous but because I found the first bit so hard last time I really want this time to be different. that means removing all stressors possible! I just don't know how we are going to get through to her and its upsetting me already.

Sorry for massive rant!

TeaAndANatter Mon 26-Aug-13 19:55:23

Hi Pixie, that's exactly what my MIL did last time. I told her very clearly that, although I was telling her my due date because she was repeatedly going on about knowing, I did not want to see anyone that week. She booked a cottage along the road starting the day of my due date, and I felt obliged to see her (like you, she lives hours away, so she stays from about 9am in the morning til about 8pm at night, then goes to the rented cottage, saying 'oh well, I'd better let you two get some time alone together' - like WHEN???! The frickin' thirty minutes before I drop into bed from exhaustion?!). Grr, grr.
We're going to be even clearer this time, and tell her that we won't be seeing anyone for the first two weeks, even if they come, and we'd hate to disappoint them. Only problem is, DH can only manage to have that kind of talk by prefacing it with, '[my name] isn't coping too well, so we need to not have you up', so it makes me look like an utter cow. Double grr! Still, it means I don't have to see the interfering hag.

Hi Bambamb and Donna, glad you found the thread.

<Whispering very quietly so that fate doesn't hear> I feel a bit queasy between 3 and 5pm every day this week.
<Whispering barely audibly> I think I might maybe be pregnant (like the stick said two and a bit weeks ago, obv.)

How's that for some posifrickintivity!! grin

Pixielady83 Mon 26-Aug-13 20:07:55

Yay for sickness tea grin bet it gets worse soon too, my sickness never really kicks in til 8 wks when I'm pregnant. Your MIL experience sounds just the same, I'm so glad I'm not the only one (sorry!). After posting earlier I got a bit paranoid about sounding really horrible and selfish. But it can be such a hard (and also very precious) time that I feel very protective of it! I think the 'babymoon' idea where you just hide away and get to know your baby is starting to become more popular though. I also feel naffed off that instead of asking how I'm feeling or acknowledging how worried we must have been this time she has just focused on what she gets out of it! I'm just waiting for her to start on the 'ooh maybe it'll be a boy' comments again (twice in DD's first weeks she made comments about hoping for a boy for us next time shock )

jmf294 Mon 26-Aug-13 20:31:32

Congrats to Donna and Bambam- glad you are here as the support is wonderful for all the worries and anxieties as we all have been there.

Pixie- I really feel for you with your MIL, I hope your DH makes it clear and she listens. What a nightmare.
Tea- couldn't imagine anything worse having the MIL rent a house nearby!!
Andadietcoke - still thinking of you, and looking forward to hearing of the arrival of your little ladies! When is the date they will intervene. You have done so fab getting to where you are.

Well had a lovely but exhausting birthday weekend celebrating my sons and husbands birthdays.
On a sader note I should have had a baby tomorrow- my EDD of my miscarriage was 2nd sept so would have had a c-sec tomorrow. Little angel not meant to be but I feel very blessed to be pregnant now. Still done nothing or bought nothing for this baby, was looking in John Lewis today and the little babygros made me want to cry- cant buy anything yet!!

Pixielady83 Mon 26-Aug-13 20:40:22

I hope you have a peaceful day tomorrow jmf and that it passes quickly for you.

Blackholes I hope today has gone ok for you too.

thanks for both of you xx

andadietcoke Mon 26-Aug-13 21:01:42

jmf will be thinking of you tomorrow. I was dreading my EDD, so I know exactly how you feel. There's no rush to buy things, don't let anyone tell you otherwise - I've ordered a fair bit today and it'll be delivered tomorrow - with Internet shopping there's no need to buy anything until you're ready.

My ELCS is booked for Thursday. Have been at the hospital today and Twin 1 is still breech, so will definitely be a section. Just need to get through tomorrow - it will be my last day without a hospital appt/monitoring. Three more sleeps...

ChristineDaae Mon 26-Aug-13 21:58:04

Welcome Donna and Bambam. Fingers crossed or boring pregnancies all round!
JMF I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I realised yesterday how close my EDD is for the MC, I'm dreading it...

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 26-Aug-13 22:09:40

Thanks pixie and someone else who mentioned it (I'm soooooo sorry I can't remember who it was and can't scroll back on phone blush ) my edd was emotional for a number of reasons not all linked to that, if that makes sense?! I was told by a colleague that if she hadn't had her mc, she wouldn't have her son now, and when she put it like that it's sad and I hope my little angel baby understands but he/she wasn't meant to be, and fingers tightly crossed this little one will be. Very sad but also verh lucky to be pregnant again (just felt a big kick as writing this- baby telling me something?! grin )

Welcome Donna xxx

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 26-Aug-13 22:10:30

jmf- thinking of you too, hope tomorrow passes peacefully xxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 26-Aug-13 22:40:05

Jmf Im hoping that tomorrow is ok for you. My EDD was 17 September. I have no idea how I will feel. {{{hug}}}
Im in a funk tonight. Ive been working since Thursday. DP and the kids have been at a bbq all afternoon, I followed when ?Id finished work. DD has been a total ARSE all night. Id actually quite like to slap him! sad angry
Im off to bed to sulk!

IBelieveInPink Mon 26-Aug-13 23:27:34

Aw jmf I know exactly how you feel. One of my EDDs has gone (29th may) the other still to go (7th September). I am very relieved to have this little one on board to help. As my mil said - she had a miscarriage before having my DH. If she hadn't, he wouldn't be here. It isn't a thought for everyone I know, but it really helped me.

Diet- 3 sleeps. Wow. Not long til you meet your babies. I'm so excited for Thursday for you! smile

GardenWorm Tue 27-Aug-13 07:16:30

2 Sleeps Anda! xxxx

Any scans this week?

Chocolateteabag Tue 27-Aug-13 07:28:41

Morning all,
anda getting vv excited on your behalf.

Big hugs for everyone facing EDD's coming up. I have to say I put mine right out of mind. I know it was in Mid July but I didn't write it down anywhere and haven't rechecked when it should have been. K Mid baby fever was enough. Onwards and upwards.

Pixie and Tea would writing a letter to your MiL's not help? Explain how you'd will love to have them to come and stay for a week but it would be beset if it was a couple of weeks in. Make it more about how they would get undisturbed 1:1 time with new baby as will be few other visitors/Mw's coming and would really help you out with other DC etc etc. You could also say that you are putting limits on everyone nearby too to soften it - but make it sound like they are really the first people to come and have a good long visit

My MIL would be round in a shot, but is thankfully going to be in NZ with my SIL helping with her second who will be a month before me. I had enough with MIL, stepFIL, GPIL's (who all live in southern France) and SIL/BIL(over from NZ) all staying for 3weeks over Christmas - 2 weeks after my mc (I nearly moved out, they only left on 12 jan!)

Pixielady83 Tue 27-Aug-13 08:07:11

Anda so exciting your little ladies are nearly here. I hope you have a couple of restful days before the big 'birth'day! I hope the cs goes well. Random cs tip I just remembered (and you prob know already) but getting some big high waisted knickers is good for recovery, all my pants irritated my wound so had to send my mum to m&s for big pants! also keep up with pain meds after, I wasn't very good at asking for them and you need to if they're busy.

choc good idea about the letter but think I will get DH to work some of those suggestions into his talk to see how that goes first. I think your points are really helpful though thank you smile

off on our camping trip today wish us sunny thoughts! grin

Swangirl Tue 27-Aug-13 08:40:58

Hello newbies I hope you have calm and uneventful pregnancies

anda I hope you mange to have a restful day I will be thinking of you on Thursday when you get to meet your little girls.
shell I found having a Wind up Lantern very useful at night for feeding DS 2 as it did not give up enough to wake up DH but enough light for me to see what I was doing.
A travel mug so you can keep your drink warm until you are ready to have a drink after feeding baby(if baby is anything like mine were as soon as you sit down to eat or drink baby wants a feed)
My 12 week scan is tomorrow and I am really nervous and because of my age I have to have a blood test to screen for Downs.

WhatWillSantaBring Tue 27-Aug-13 09:20:04

Morning all,

Bugger scans - this week we're getting BABIES. Very excited on anda's behalf, though I'm sure she's getting annoyed /freaked out with the growing level of excitment on this thread. Anda - stay calm and have faith that you will have your babies in your arms by the end of this week.

Who was it reading expecting better? I've just ordered a copy - sounds right up my street. I spent ages reading various stats and studies last time round, and it annoyed me how crap the data actually was.

I had a really good list of baby requirements - I can't remember where it is now (or what's on it) but the thing I loved, and still do, is a gro-light. Its a gizmo from the Gro Company (of gro-bag fame) that you attach to any normal light, and it turns it into a night light/normal light combo. I'd also say an iphone/ipad or radio for night feeds (if you can't feed in your sleep). YY to food for the night feeds. And, esp for winter babies, slippers, dressing gowns, rugs etc so you're toasty warm while you're sitting there!

The one thing I wish I'd known before having DC1 - babies do not feed on 3/4 hourly intervals. There is no pattern to it. DC1 would feed for 40 mins every hour between about 6pm and 1am. As soon as I accepted this, and didn't try to fight it "but she CAN'T be hungry", the world got a lot better.

Another tip would be: make sure DH gets some sleep. I hate this idea of letting fathers stay overnight in hospital - send them home, get them to have 12 hours sleep and then they're back to normal. There's no point in you both being shattered. The moral support is all well and good, but the practical support is probably more important!!

BirdsDoIt Tue 27-Aug-13 10:22:06

swangirl fingers crossed for you tomorrow. It's totally nerve wracking, isn't it? I'm going to the epu tomorrow for my first scan (8 weeks) and desperately hoping and praying there will be a heartbeat, but trying not to be too optimistic (had mmc last time, discovered at 12 weeks but it happened at 4 or 5 weeks, so really don't want to go through that long and painful wait all over again for nothing). I don't quite know what I'm going to do if it's bad news - have a big family weekend coming up, followed by a 10 day work trip abroad - so will have no time to even have a meltdown! But I guess I've just got to take it as it comes, one day at a time. Easier said than done. Swangirl what time is your scan tomorrow? Has anyone else got one coming up?

One nice thing was that the midwifery practice just called to book in my first appt with them (which I said I wanted to do after 8 week scan) and that's arranged for Thursday morning, day after tomorrow. I said yes but I'll let you know if there's a problem on Wednesday, and she said, yes do, but as she said goodbye she said very confidently 'so we'll look forward to seeing you on Thursday morning then'. Which should have annoyed me but oddly made me feel reassured. The chances are still, I guess, in favour of it being good rather than bad news.

santa I'd love to say bugger scans but evidently that's all I can think about at the moment!

anda very excited for you though smile

Quite a few of my friends seem to have the slightly spooky little sheep that makes sea / womb noises and lights up for the baby's cot at night and apparently it's great...

BirdsDoIt Tue 27-Aug-13 10:30:47

Ps also wanted to say:

Yay to tea feeling nauseous!

pixie sounds like a bit of a nightmare with your MIL. Hope your DH's diplomacy skills are up to managing the situation (or if those fail, that he just tells it to her straight).

And welcome and congrats to the newbies!

andadietcoke Tue 27-Aug-13 10:41:11

Birds ah, the infamous Ewan the Dream Sheep. It's supposed to be like baby crack or something. DH says he'll buy me one as a push present. I think he missed/misinterpreted the diamond memo wink

swan, garden and santa thank you for the posifrickintivity - definitely need it! Had my last check up yesterday with a portable scan which showed that one of the babies has completely flipped between 36 and
38 weeks - so when it comes to your turns don't let anyone tell you babies don't turn after 36w - and this baby has a lot less space than most!! The Reg did say that it was 'probably a good job' I was having a c section given 'their very good sizes', which has just terrified me further. When I work out how to do it I'll upload a bump photo to Dropbox or something so you can see how ridiculous I look.

So yes garden, two sleeps to go - pre op at 8.30 tomorrow, then in at 8 on Thursday. Picking up a few bits and bobs today and trying to ignore the sense of doom created by putting baby clothes into the wardrobe hmm

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