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Should I tell after dating scan?

(26 Posts)
gatsby79 Thu 25-Jul-13 16:13:51

I have a dating scan tomorrow, although I will only be about 9 weeks pregnant. We haven't told anyone yet incase something goes wrong but I have had terrible morning sickness for the past month and so have basically been avoiding friends and family so they don't get suspicious! If all goes well at the scan tomorrow, should we tell close friends and family? To be honest, I want a little sympathy from my mum if nothing else!

frissonpink Sat 27-Jul-13 11:05:52

Congratulations grin

Totally up to you! I don't think there is a 'safe' time sorry (but that's based on a personal sad story), so I think you should tell when you feel happy to.

The only thing I would say, the earlier you tell, the longer your pregnancy will seem to go on! grin

Next time, I'm telling no one until it's blindingly obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat wink

gatsby79 Sat 27-Jul-13 10:52:21

Did the people who waited until after 12 weeks scan have any earlier scans? My 12 weeks scan will be when I am actually 14 weeks. And although I'm having the nuchal, I'm not going to have amniocentesis even if Downs risk is high. Don't think I could last another month without telling!

Dusty04 Sat 27-Jul-13 10:08:17

I told my parents at 8 weeks but we didn't tell DH's parents and close friends until after 12 week scan and downs test results. I'm now 18+2 and waiting until after 20 week scan to tell people at work. I planned to tell people at 12 weeks but I've had two colleagues lose babies just before 20 weeks (one found out at her 20 week scan) so I'm being very cautious.. Fingers crossed everything's fine smile

Queazy Sat 27-Jul-13 08:45:07

I told 2-3 people at 9 weeks but didn't tell anyone else until after the 12-13 week scan. It's up to you tbh - I kind of wish I'd waited longer but felt so sick it was becoming very obvious. I would have found it hard to hide my pregnancy at work past about 16 weeks too, as I was really starting to show. I didn't go around telling people at work though, so some actually didn't find out until after my 20wk scan! xx

MrsPatMustard Sat 27-Jul-13 08:30:40

Mothers eh? God - do you think we'll turn into them in due course?

gatsby79 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:20:02

Actually, it's not the fuss I'm worried about. It's more likely to be a somewhat anticlimactic reaction from my mother. When I told her I was getting married a few years ago she just said, "0h, ok then"! Also my first but would like people to know so I could ask for advice.

MrsPatMustard Fri 26-Jul-13 15:08:37

Hi Gatsby

I'm in the same position. Had my scan last week and I'm waiting on the results of my blood test. So far have only told a couple of close friends and immediate work colleagues (morning sickness meant I was compelled to fess up with them at 6 weeks.) However, am now starting to bulge at the waist, so really can't disguise it much longer. DH and I have decided that we'll break the news once the test results are in.

Actually not looking forward to going public that much. Am nervous about impending motherhood (this is dc#1) and i really can't face the enormous hype and fuss that will come from family, particularly my Mum.

Anyway, everyones circumstances are different and it really has to be your call. Tell people when you feel comfortable. No right or wrong answer really...

MissHC Fri 26-Jul-13 11:56:20

I told my parents and DP's mum a day or so after the positive test - stating clearly that it was very early days and a lot of things could still go wrong. Told my manager at 6 weeks or so because I felt so crap but asked her not to tell any of my colleagues (although she did have to tell HR). You're also much better protected at work if they know you're pregnant (e.g. they can't sack you for taking sick days of for morning sickness)

I also told some close friends fairly early on - the people I wanted to be there for me in case things did go wrong!

Everyone else (family, colleagues, not so close friends) I told after 12 week scan.

gatsby79 Fri 26-Jul-13 10:41:49

Had scan and saw the little guy! Looks more like a jelly baby than anything else but so cute. I saw it turn over, like "go away, I'm sleeping". Just like its father... Now I just want to tell everyone. Apparently I'm 9+3. I'm telling my best friend tomorrow when I see him and then my parents and in-laws as soon as I can get up to see them too. Think I should probably tell in person rather on phone.

Christelle2207 Thu 25-Jul-13 20:56:27

I told parents and boss after early scan at 8 wks. everyone else at about 14.

LostMySocks Thu 25-Jul-13 19:07:03

I waited until I had the results of the NT. I'm a bit suspicious bit also knew family would be delighted. MIL Has been unwell (breast cancer go second time) so didn't want to risk having to share bad news after good news. I'd still have told them if all wasn't well and they would have been upset but at least it wouldn't be bad news after happy news iykwim

gatsby79 Thu 25-Jul-13 19:01:12

I think I maybe also want to tell someone so it feels more real. At the moment it's just me saying "urg, I feel really sick" 100 times a day to DH and that's it! Other than to my DH and then GP I haven't actually said "I'm pregnant" out loud!

heidihole Thu 25-Jul-13 18:55:14

We told family who then told the whole world at 5 weeks.

The pregnancy dragged. And dragged. This time I'm 11 weeks and we have told NOONE yet. Just because time seems to go much quicker without it being the only topic of conversation when I see people

Holly94 Thu 25-Jul-13 18:44:55

I told loads of people as soon as I found out when I was only 4 weeks, I couldn't help myself!
Coming up to the 12 week mark and the whole world found out a long time ago!
Congratulations flowers

KarmaBiatch Thu 25-Jul-13 18:23:19

I blabbed at 4 weeks (techinally just 2 weeks). I knew there would always be the risk of something going pete-tong, but my friends all guessed anyway when I didn't order a pint/vino when we met up, and I'm a crap liar. currently 27+3 and getting fed up of people thinking I'm due any minute since I blabbed so early, doesn't help that my bump is like a basketball under my top wink wink

Futterby Thu 25-Jul-13 18:16:52

I told everyone as soon as i found out at 6 weeks blush silly but I was so excited that I just couldn't hold it in!

highlove Thu 25-Jul-13 17:49:28

Miscarriage assc says a heartbeat on a scan at 6 weeks means you have 78% chance of all being fine, at 8 weeks it's 98% and at 10 weeks it's 99%. Compared to 99.5% at 12 weeks. So it's really likely all will be fine. If the worst happened, you'd probably tell your mum anyway?

Best of luck - hope all turns out perfectly.

gatsby79 Thu 25-Jul-13 17:07:37

I saw somewhere that if you've seen the heartbeat at 10 weeks you have a 98% chance of successful pregnancy so it's pretty close. We wouldn't tell extended family until after 12 weeks and I'm going to hold off as long as possible with work. I asked my midwife who first of all said wait until after 12 weeks and then said "but I'd tell everyone the minute I found out!" Not that helpful!

Shellywelly1973 Thu 25-Jul-13 16:50:50

Head- Im not sure the stats are 99%...

Op, tell people you are comfortable with. Chances are everything will be fine.

Take care.

heidihole Thu 25-Jul-13 16:39:07

I believe that as soon as you see a heart beat your risk of a live birth is something like 99%.

It just so happens that most people see a heartbeat for the first time at the 12 week scan becuase thats when the NHS do scans.

If you see one at the 9 week scan you have (as close as makes no difference) the same odds of a live birth as if it were 12 weeks.

knittingirl Thu 25-Jul-13 16:37:21

Tell who you like smile there are no rules! Before the scan, I told people who I knew we'd want support from if anything went wrong - my parents, inlaws and siblings, and my boss because I was off work sick. We spread the news generally after the 12 week scan. I found it great, because it meant I could talk to my Mum and ask her advice about a lot of stuff, and she could come and keep me company when I was ill smile

JoniR Thu 25-Jul-13 16:30:57

I told immediate family and a couple of close friends as soon as I knew. I'm waiting until 12 weeks to let the world know. I'm no good with secrets so I needed to tell someone before I exploded. Telling my mum was the best decision, she's been wonderful and so excited and if anything went wrong she'd be there for me as well.

Ipp3 Thu 25-Jul-13 16:24:11

It is up to you! I had a friend who told at your date. I didn't tell till past 20 weeks!

Snowflakepie Thu 25-Jul-13 16:24:10

I told everyone as soon as I knew lol! My reasoning was, if anything sad happened, I would want support and understanding. So I would tell those people that matter now. But some people prefer not to, and that's fine too. Could you tell your mum but ask her to keep it quiet?

Ipp3 Thu 25-Jul-13 16:23:56

It is up to you! I had a friend who told at your date. I didn't tell till past 20 weeks!

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