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Is anybody NOT scared of giving birth?(112 Posts)
With my first I wasn't worried/scared a bit. My antenatal classes didn't mention anything to do with labour and nobody wanted to share their birth experiences with me so I really didn't have a clue what to expect!
My friends dad asked me if I was scared and I said no, he called me a liar because everyone gets scared
This time around I feel exactly the same, only I know what to expect and it still doesn't bother me.
Oh asked if I was scared and I said no, he said 'not even a little?' no.. its not a feeling I choose to switch off I'm just not worried, end of.
In fact, I have my dd name tattooed on me and I'm more worried about having my sons name tattooed on me because I had such a traumatic experience with my last!
I get this reaction a lot when I tell people the truth, I feel as though I should lie instead and say yes I'm bloody terrified just to satisfy them!
I'm not scared - I'm looking forward to it. I really enjoyed my last birth and would honestly have preferred to give birth every day for eight months to the pregnancy I had. One of my early thoughts when I found out I was pregnant this time was how glad I was that I will get to give birth again.
I wasn't scared with my first as I thought I was prepared. However, it was hell. Luckily I am having a c section this time (well, not exactly lucky - it's only because last time caused me so many problems) otherwise I would be dreading it.
I was scared before my first but very calm about my second. This time I haven't had time to think about it! :-\
I'm not remotely scared because I am having an ELCS. If I were to give birth naturally I'd be sh1tting myself. All the horror stories I've heard make it sounds like hell on earth.
I was scared with DS but more about the lack of control/the medicalisation.
This time I'm not scared at all. I'm really looking forward to it and I have every confidence that the medical team will respect my wishes because I know that they can keep their hands to themselves when they need to! Also I've done it once and although I know that no two labours are the same there are definitely lessons identified/lessons learnt for me, and for DH too.
I wasn't scared before I got pregnant and I hated pregnancy so much when I was pregnant that I couldn't wait! it was the easiest bit of the whole pregnancy/giving birth/newborn process for me and despite DS being back to back I'd happily do it again!
Sure there are others too though.
I wasn't scared first time, couldn't wait actually. this time I'm sat here saying I wish I could have five labours and no morning sickness. To give context my labour lasted three days and wasn't all that easy!
im not scared of labour or the pain, but I am scared of needing intervention or something going wrong. As someone else said upthread, a few too many people I know have ended up with still borns at my local hospital due to lack of monitoring in labour so thats my major worry. im considering a homebirth at the moment as I know I will get the monitoring I want and im not far from the hospital so if I needed to be transferred it would only take 5mins.
Is there a homebirth thread anywhere?
Umm. I wasn't scared either. I'd read up on the process so I knew what might happen, and I rather thought that it would be fine. And if it wasn't I'd be at the nice hospital with the nice doctor with his nice knife who would do the job for me if required. I didn't really think too much beyond that. Seemed a waste of energy to get scared - the baby was presumably going to have to exit regardless.
Well said, Daisy. I wasn't scared (what's the point? Won't help) til I read this thread! Seriously ladies, why are we posting horrendous things on here? All that will achieve is to frighten those of us about to go through it. The thread is "anyone not scared?" So why are people trying to scare each other?!
I just think, nobody else's birth experience is relevant to me in any way. Easy or hard, it will be what it will be. But seriously, please think and be sensitive before posting about horrible things which have happened to you/your sister/your colleagues
I was a tad nervous the first time as I was induced, and I'd been told induction would be grim.
For my second, I wasn't at all scared. Was totally excited for my waters to go, and high-fived my husband when I had my first 'need to breathe' contraction (incidentally, my son's head delivered about 5 seconds after the high five... Whoops!)
It depends what you mean exactly - I am not really scared of the pain for myself. I am, however, terrified that something may go wrong for the baby.
Right now I'm associating childbirth to finally meeting my baby, so the prospect of pain... meh. By FAR the biggest worry on my mind is, will the baby be born safe and healthy.
I realize I'm likely to change my mind in the middle of labour and absolutely hate the pain, but I figure there's no point trying to scare myself in advance - may as well approach it with a positive mind, at least I'll spare myself useless mental agony in the coming weeks waiting for the birth!
I don't think anyone else's experience of labour is helpful, tbh.
No disrespect intended, but crikey, some of the comments in this thread are supremely unhelpful given the topic/title.
Wanting to die in labour/ feeling like you're being ripped in half/ being crushed by a bus - many of us have MILs to make these kinds of comments, are they necessary on a thread about fear of childbirth?
I due to give birth in a couple of weeks, and I'm not scared about it. In a weird way, I'm looking forward to the experience!
We had a really awful midwife at the antenatal classes who tried to push how AGONY it all was and how SORE we would be afterwards, which wasn't helpful. I'm sure I'll regret saying this, but my plan is to keep calm, listen to what they tell me to do, and try to focus on the baby coming rather than the pain. It'll be a breeze!
Im not due til December so my feelings might change when it gets closer but at the moment Im not scared of giving birth, and havent been when TTC, finding out I was pregnant etc. I actually feel like Im looking forward to it but that may be actually having the baby to hold in my arms and not the actual labour and birth bit. Me and my husband have just started hypnobirthing and I know loads of people will say stuff like it wont help etc. but its what we have chosen as Ive always been the type of person to go quiet, breath deeply and try and focus myself when in pain anyway so Im hoping it will help in labour too. I know it wont be pain-free or all wonderful and stuff but I dont understand why as soon as people find out that your pregnant they insist on pushing horror stories of birth onto you and feed you negative comments about it???
Fliberrty - nope, 'ripped in half' definitely describes it! I was being brave when I said it started really hurting at 5cm. In reality I was a wreck by about 1cm and couldn't believe I wasn't considered to be in 'active labour' (and was therefore denied pain relief).
Cool - I'm due in January too Sleep - for DC3 - fingers crossed for both of us that these ones just 'fall' out Congratulations!
I really do think everyone feels it differently, mythree. And even different labours can vary so much for the same person. Basically, you have no idea how you'll be until you're in it! With my last the dr said I couldn't possibly be in labour as I was too calm. He wouldn't have said that if he seen me with DC1 curling up into a ball and swearing profusely, or demanding an epidural and c-section with DC2 . Hopefully my labour with DC4 in January will be an oasis of zen-like calm as he slips out to the sound of whale music or somesuch
mythree, not my experience of contractions either.
Just me that felt like I was being ripped in half each time then?
And while the contractions came and went there was the constant excruciating back pain?
Baby not back to back either. Just an agonising labour. Everyone is different. I didn't howl though, but I do remember telling the midwife to tell the howler in the next room to shut the f*ck up!!
But hey ho, I went through that and then had a planned ds2 16 months later (probably short age gap to get it over with quickly...)
Sleepthief - I know it's all so subjective! But I'd love to know how others describe their experience with contractions? Your major pain bit sounds like it was in the 'transition' - that's when I was "I CANNOT DO THIS" but had no pain. It's so odd isn't it - but does explain why some women are howlers (me) and some are so calm - we must all feel it differently
Mythree, what you have described is YOUR experiencd of contractions. It doesn't sound like mine at all. The only point with DC3 where I felt major pain (like someone havking at my spind with a blunt axe) was at the point where his head was descending into the birth canal - moments before my waters broke and he was born 10 mins later, with no pain whatsoever. And yes, I did immediately think I wanted to do it again . As with all things pregnancy, everyone is different .
(DC1, however, being back to back was completely different and complete and utter agony from approximately no cm dilated!)
nope not scared i actually enjoy giving birth strange arent i lol
I'm not scared of the actual process or pain of giving birth, I just feel like I'll take it as it comes and not try to plan or think about it too much (it's my first), just take a 'go with the flow' attitude - especially with pain relief!
The only thing that does worry me is if anything goes wrong, but I think that's mainly as a colleague recently had a stillbirth during labour which was a massive shock and I do tend to worry about stuff like that.
Thanks mythreeknights - I appreciate the honest description! Ill have DH there and hopefully somehow ill get through it and cope. Its all for a good cause after all
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