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truly hideous pregnancies but I think I want one more - advice on timing?

(27 Posts)
kalidasa Fri 12-Jul-13 13:12:06

My pregnancy was truly truly hideous (so bad medically that we considered termination fairly early on after weeks in hospital with no real improvement). I had similar issues with two very early losses, and given the medical conditions involved, my family history etc etc any subsequent pregnancy is likely to be just as bad or even a bit worse. (V. severe HG which lasted throughout + severe SPD putting me on crutches for the last few months and in a wheelchair by the end. The HG starts immediately and did with the losses too, and I'm told the SPD is likely to be a bit worse a second time.) My DS is 7.5 months old and I am not yet fully recovered physically or psychologically.

The problem is that we do want one more and I can't decide whether it is better to go for it fairly soon (though obviously waiting until I am fully recovered first) or better to leave it for several years? I find I still think ALL the time about pregnancy/how awful it was/whether I could face it again and part of me thinks I need to have got over this before trying again and another part of me thinks it's just going to "hang over" me until I do it and get it out of the way.

Would be great to hear how other people in a similar situation made this sort of decision - what factors did you weigh up etc. It is really weighing on me.

kalidasa Mon 15-Jul-13 17:08:03

Thanks everyone and sorry for slow response. 3boys do you think the longer gap before your third gave your pelvis a proper chance to recover?

DH and I finally had a long and v. emotional talk about all this a couple of days ago. I feel better about it as I feel that we have at least agreed what we would like (i.e. to have another at some point) even though the prospect is so daunting for both of us. DH started to cry remembering my pregnancy!! So at least I'm not the only one who's traumatised . . .

3boys3dogshelp Mon 15-Jul-13 17:29:49

Yes definitely!

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