SPD kicked in at 8weeks ! Any advice?

[tillymint]

I am 10 weeks pregnant (unplanned). I have a 6 month old. Had SPD from 20 weeks, which developed into a twisted pelvis. Absolute 24 7 agony from 30 weeks. Any advice welcome. Am already seeing an osteopath to keep my pelvis straight.PS I am 41 and also have a 5yr old girl).

[popsycal]

pie is the one you need.....

[hercules]

I had this and didnt find any help (didnt know about mumsnet). Lots of sympathy as I know how painful and disabling this is. My mw and gp were no help. They suggested swimming but not much use as I could barely lift legs in water never mind climb the steps.

[tillymint]

Hopefully after last time, when I had to scream from the rooftops to be believed, (and it being fresh in their minds ), my MW will be more sympathetic - I will certainly insist on home visits by MW. My HV is a brick, and has offered great emotional support over the years. PND, mc, ectopic and ho! ho! infertility! It's just getting through it and caring for my two daughters that haunts me.

[pie]

Hi tillymint.

So sorry to hear about your SPD. Your body probably hasn't recovered from your previous pregnancy yet. Have you got the tubigrip? Are you making sure you do as little lifting/walking as possible. Osteopathy should help maintain you, but IMO given how you are already suffering, have 2 children and only recently given birth I would (if it were me) begin to put in place arangements for other people to do as much as possible for you...its going to be a long road, as you already know!

How bad did it get last time?

I was in a Wheelchair from 22 weeks (SPD at 12 weeks, crutches from 17)...DD2 is now 4 weeks old and I'm still needing crutches some days and some days I can't go out at all.

IF your SPD is relaxin related it takes between 6 -18 months for you levels to drop, if its more mechanical then the osteopathy should help.

How much are you able to do?

you are more then welcome to contact me at any time. pie(at)sabian(dot)net You can also try to find out if you have a local contact fromt The Pelvic Partnership who could tell you what is available in your area. Where abouts are you?

HTH pie x

[pie]

Whoops that should read DD2 is 4 MONTHS old, not weeks!

[pupuce]

Pie's DD is 4 months old... not weeks.... but her brain is still not functionning properly

[pie]

:p

[tillymint]

Pie, Thanks for responding. I feel a bit of a whinger compared to your suffering. I was not wheelchair bound, and refused crutches. I just stayed at home, and crawled about on all fours. Except in front of dd1, I had to be strong for her as she gets upset if I'm hurting. She's full time at school,but long summer hols.

My labour, induced at my insistence one week late, was easy in comparison to the last trimester. Even though it was 12hrs on gas & air, but did it on my knees. My birth partner is my sil, and she'd researched it all and really told the mw how it had to be, she'll be there again for me.

I just felt so depressed and frustrated, like I'd been denied my pregnancy. I'm still on prozac. I've started to make enquiries about doulas and mothers help, costly but essential as you bsay I need to plan.

Last time I just kept going through the pain and obviously made it worse. This time I've already given up pushing the trollry round Tesco. Are there any exercises, or positions to help.

Gosh, I've waffled too much. I'm tired. I live near Epsom, Surrey. Appreciate youresponding, thank you. Wish I had this site last year. Got to hit the sack now! Will talk to you soon I hope.

[pupuce]

Hi Tilly

I was Pie's doula.... I know doulas in your area... if you want get in touch
If you do go for a doula : birth or postnatal.... book early!

[tillymint]

Thanks Pupuce,
Can you explain exactly what a doula is or does? I'm not really stupid!!

[easy]

tillymint,
If this is likely to cause you disability, even temporarily, then it might be worth contacting social services, to see if you can get money to pay for help for your personal care and help around the home.

Ask about the direct payments scheme, but don't mention using it to pay for childcare (that's not what it's for). BUT I've been using mine to pay for someone to be with me in the house when dh is at work, so I can look after ds at home (in other words she's actually a kind of child and me minder !)
Once the direct payment is awarded, they don't bother checking on you, only that you can account for paying the money out to someone else, If you want to know any more use the Contact another talker to reach me.

[tillymint]

Thanks easy, unfortunately I don't think I'd qualify. But the thought of having a 'me minder' does appeal. My plan is not to get too disabled.

What's it like to have a stranger around all day at home? What if you have a mate round, do you include them? Or get them to make the tea!

I'd feel a little awkward asking them to do things all the time, like ladymuck.

[easy]

Tilly, good for you, but don't struggle if things get too hard. these schemes are in place, it's up to us to use them (after all we've paid our taxes in the past).

It is quite difficult with someone else around, but last summer I couldn't do much, so had to rely on someone else. I used my own cleaning lady some of the time, so I already knew her (altho having now spent two full days every week with her I must admit she really can irritate me, but by being over-concerned, bless her).
The other people I found had to meet my "can i have a conversation with this person?" criteria. I could teach them how to do things for me, as long as they were bright enough to understand what I wanted, and discuss the news etc.

It is difficult asking people to do everything for you, and there have been things I've done without, because it seems so demanding (I must remember to ask the next potential helper NEVER to make tea in the cup, always use the teapot. But when someone makes you a cup of tea, it seems ungrateful to complain that they haven't used the teapot).

If a friend comes round, then you, friend and helper all sit down together for a chat and a cuppa, and a real friend will know to offer to help your helper.

[pupuce]

Tillymint,

"Doula" (pronounced "doola" is a Greek word meaning "woman servant or caregiver". It now refers to an experienced woman who offers emotional and practical support to a woman (or couple) before, during and after childbirth. A doula believes in ?mothering the mother? - enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience.

Birth doulas are trained and experienced in childbirth. They have a good knowledge and awareness of female physiology BUT the doula is not supporting the mother in a clinical role - that is the job of the midwife/medical staff.

[tillymint]

Thanks easy for your frank response. I will certainly use similar criteria when the time comes. I will probably add that they have to say chimney, as opposed to chimley, I worked with a girl once who pronounced so many words incorrectly it wound me up. I can say them, its my spelling thats amiss at times - more a figures person!

[tillymint]

Pupuce
Thank you. What sort of rates to doulas charge? Or is it rude to ask? I'd need to have some idea.

[easy]

Tilly,

my own bug-bears are
Saying aitch without aspirating the h at the beginning, and saying drawing without putting an 'r' after the W

[tillymint]

easy
what about, a hotel instead of an hotel (although there are disputes on this one). And should of instead of have.

[easy]

Tilly, I agree entirely.

Oh, except hotels are something we don't mention in this house, It's so long since we had the chance to spend the night in one (and no prospect in the near future either

[tillymint]

easy
I am embarrassed to admit that when we last stayed in an hotel for a christmas do, we asked for a twin room' so we could ensure a good nights sleep! Didn't fancy sharing a 4'6" bed with my 6'2" drunk dh.

[easy]

Tilly,

don't be embarrased, with a 6 month old I'm not at all surprised. However, something must have happened about 10 weeks ago

(sorry getting cheeky, it's the Bar-bados thread)

[tillymint]

Duty called!!

[easy]

oh the things we wives have to endure

[tillymint]

SPD in pregnancy has its compensations...

[stace]

Can anyone tell me what SPD is? It sounds awful and like something i may have suffered last postpregnancy that left me wheelchair bound but was never diagnosed? Waiting with baited breath as you may solve a big mystery for me?