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Started new job on Monday, pregnancy belly already too hard to hide! Help!(17 Posts)
So I started a new job on Monday following redundancy. I didn't mention my pregnancy at the interview as I looked about online and heard lots of horror stories about it affecting my chances of getting hired and due to impending baby situation getting some form of employment was critical!
Anyway, I had some baggier tops but figured I could get away with some of my older work clothes to cover up until I had been there a bit longer and proven my worth so to speak, (due to lack of job for the past few months and short notice of actual start date after interview I'm not in a position to buy anything new). Basically none of my old work clothes fit and my stomach looks huge and obvious already in everything I have tried on tonight. I'm 18 weeks and quite petite so I can't even pass it off as a little paunch as it LOOKS like a pregnancy belly.
Its causing me worry and stress so have decided to tell them tomorrow. I'm so scared they will fire me. I'm in training for the next 4 weeks and am worried they will just pick up any old excuse to let me go as soon as I come clean but really am in a position where I don't have a choice. Any ideas of how I should go about this?
I would just be honest! You know you have to tell them so you may as well get it out of the way.
Good luck and hope it goes well x
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
My work has just hired a pregnant woman to take over my role!
you do not by law need to inform an employer of your pregnancy until 25 weeks
Firstly congratulations on the new job. I did the same as you and started my new job at 16 weeks (now 26 weeks). At that point I thought I looked obviously pregnant but no one guessed, just think people aren't that observant and what feels really obvious to you, wont be to them as they didn't know you before you got pregnant.
Anyway I told my boss when I was four weeks in as I wanted to prove I could do the job before sharing my news and all I got was congratulations! I was also worried about getting the sack due to my pregnancy, but checked it out with a friend who works in HR who told me they couldn't get rid of me as my pregnancy would not prevent me doing my job, so if they did try and get rid of me it would be unfair dismissal.
The only thing I would investigate if I were you is maternity pay, I think the law states you can only claim it from your new company if you were employed for 12 weeks before getting pregnant (don't quote me on that!!!) so you will need to find out how to get your stat maternity pay
I went back after a year's maternity leave already five months pregnant.
I tried very hard to hide it under baggy tops for a couple of weeks until someone asked me straight out & I had to come clean.
It was a relief to get it out in the open to be honest, and everyone was fine about it
except when I went on another year's maternity leave three months later!
They cannot fire you because you are pregnant it is against the law. I happen to know an amazing employment law specialist. If you do get the sack I will pass you her details. But I'm sure you won't need them.
As the incredibly knowledgeable foof said above (all her posts are worth reading!) you are not legally obliged to tell then until 25 weeks, and as ap79 said, it's obvious to you, but not necessarily anyone who doesn't know you.
When you do finally tell, you will no doubt get a lot of "oh I knew it from the day you started!" But it's unlikely to be true.
Ironically u was covering someone on maternity leave when I fell pregnant. I had no option but to tell my manager as from week one I had terrible morning -all f'ing day long- sickness and actually passed out in my office from it. He was very happy for me.
Good luck and don't stress too much. It's a wonderful thing! And btw... Congrats!
Sorry for above error - u = Me (well, I actually!)
Sleep deprivation actually showing thru now!
Remember that no one at work knows what you look like not-pregnant. Lots of people have little round bellies! I bet it's not as obvious as you think.
You have another seven weeks yet before you need to tell them. This makes me think of that clip in the film "Knocked Up" where she is nine.months gone, massive bump, and has failed to inform them so they pull her in and finally ask her. You could live under her bump.it was so huge
If in doubt, you could tell a porkie and say you thought it was IBS. A girl down the street was six months gone when she foubd out - thought it was ibs.
- the bump is more obvious to us (as we are familiar with our own bodies) as it is to other people.
- these people don't know what your original shape was, which gives you an advantage
- don't bother with too loose clothing - stuff that doesn't hug your under-boob area will be best, together with a scarf. For all they know, you are slightly podge and like wearing scarves at work!
- If they do find out early or suspect, it's not the end of the world
- the main thing is not to touch or rub the bump - that's the most difficult!
I had an American colleague who didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until after six months. She hid it for ages with jackets and long scarfs.
It's your choice when to tell colleagues. I've already decided not to tell anyone other than my immediate boss until I'm back from my holiday, by which stage I'll be 18 weeks. Even then, I won't tell people unless they ask, other than my immediate team.
Good luck in making your decision, and with the new job.
I would really try to leave it a bit longer, you've only been there two days!
As others have said scarves are a good hider.
And don't whatever you do let Katie Hopkins see this thread
A friend of mine started her new job at 14 weeks pregnant, she was in the same position as you. She told while she was in training, completed her training and is now on maternity leave - she's going back to her job when its up - so try not to worry. I think a lot of employers are well are aware they can't discriminate against pregnant women and I think you'd have a pretty good case to take against them if they were to 'fire' you after you had told them. Good luck!
Thank you for all the advice. Well I decided to just be honest and tell them, they were lovely and HR were chatting to me all about their pregnancies. Feel better now I'm 'out' as it were and I can dress a little easier now without worrying! I probably was over thinking it all but I am (if anything) over qualified for the job so my friend in law thinks they would struggle to justify a dismissal even if they were that way inclined. Hopefully no issues though, their reaction was in no way negative!
Phew! big old breathe out...
I'm 26+4 and only my MD at work knows, no one else has suspected a thing!
Like others have said, it may seem huge to you, but people really are not that observant, and if you dress well you can hide it. I've also discovered that are quite a lot of fatties abut, as plenty of people have bigger tummies than me and not pregnant in my office. So this has helped!
Glad you can relax now you have told them
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