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Most unhelpful unsolicited advice/comments while pregnant competition

(158 Posts)
fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 17:50:43

Went shopping today and am due in about a month. Only visited two places. Person behind first till decided to tell me how she could still remember the terrible pain of labour from 18 years ago. Person behind second till told me once I had the baby I would never go back to work. Riiiight.

Went out briefly at the weekend and some random posh-looking woman in the street shouted 'oh my God you're enormous'. Fortunately I don't have body issues but I can imagine some people would have gone home and sobbed.

Who else wants to play? What shall we have as a prize for the winner?

Dackyduddles Fri 14-Jun-13 17:54:18

I was told "gosh your fat this time round"

AhoyAhoy Fri 14-Jun-13 18:15:14

DM told me "you're showing from behind"

I asked what she meant- was my belly showing at the sides? (new to all this, was 18 wks at the time)

"no, your backside is expanding"

Thanks mom.

Said by my gran (who is not known for her diplomacy) oh it's better when you're big to start with, you don't show as much.....

I have a genuinely lovely work colleague who seems to have a knack of coming out with some real corkers that make everyone else shock grin

My boss and I were sat down in desk chairs, both pregnant, and my boss is trying to stretch out her aching back. My colleague walks in and says "Blimey, you look like a teenager in one of those, you know, special wheelchairs." shockshockshock

spondulix Fri 14-Jun-13 18:35:51

Last time round, my boss told me very seriously that he'd googled how to deliver a baby and he was confident that if I went into labour he would be ok, and where should it happen, in the conference room?

I told him thanks, but that if I went into labour at the office I would probably go to the hospital, a five minute walk from the office.

Futterby Fri 14-Jun-13 18:39:12

"Do you know who the father is?" (Of course, dipshit.)

"Are you getting rid of it?" (No.)

"So you're not going to university then?" (I am.)

jammiedonut Fri 14-Jun-13 18:45:58

Lots of gems, completely unsolicited and unhelpful
'have you tried ginger?' when returning from hospital after having been on a drip replacing fluids from acute morning sickness
'don't breast feed as you don't want ds to be obsessed with boobies'
'don't cuddle your baby you'll spoil him'
Any advice re baby rice/rusks/whiskey in bottle to help them sleep through the night
'don't have your mum with you at birth, dh will resent you forever' spoken by mil, over dinner followed by 'of course if dh wants ME there that wouldn't be a problem would it?!'
Are you sure it isn't twins? Surely you're too small . . . . . . Aaaaaargh!
One week left and I'm just about on the verge of murdering the next person to even LOOK at my belly!

FeelingHorse Fri 14-Jun-13 18:58:20

My teenage pupils came out with some classics recently....

"Do you know who the father is?"
"Was it planned?"
"How much bigger do you think you can get?"
"Are you grumpy because of those hormone things?"
"Why does you face look so bloated?"
"What will you DO whilst you're off?"

freemanbatch Fri 14-Jun-13 19:00:55

'you normally bloom during pregnancy what's happened this time' said by my mother yesterday.

I'm only 13 weeks so just out of the feeling like death stage and this time I'm single and looking after my other two so there is no sit down because I feel rubbish time BUT the worst thing about her saying it was I thought I looked really well and I've been feeling great and keeping up with everything and no one who doesn't know I'm pregnant has asked me if I'm ill or anything so it really upset me sad

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:03:13

Ah.... I didn't think it was just me. Am considering competition prizes. How about pepper spray, to deal with the next annoying comment that comes the winner's way?

ReikiMummy Fri 14-Jun-13 19:10:03

OK so maybe its not such an icky comment.. its just one I'm a bit fed up with hearing every 2 hours from unknown people in the street. Just seems a bit personal really

"Do you know what you're having?"

Answers vary from

"Kittens at the moment...." (depending on stage of OMG I'm never going to be ready feelings...)
to
"Fish and chips.... Oh - you didn't mean for tea?"

We're having a baby... and surely thats enough for anyone?? It is for us!!

;)

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:15:45

ReikMummy - I hate that one too, usually seem to get it from drunks. Also 'when are you due?'

KatieLily12 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:16:18

'The second trimester sex was amazing'

I was already very nauseas at this point. This didn't help

cupcake78 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:17:11

With ds1
A check out lady told me she was in labour for 17 monthsshock.
Lets just wait and make sure baby is healthy before we get too excited (2 weeks before birth).
Your body will never be the same again.
Don't worry about being tired we'll come over everyday and take baby away (in laws!angry). They did their very best to stuff up any attempt at breastfeeding as well!

With this one:
Oh it must be twins.
Maybe the scan missed one.
Don't worry about the weight gain once the baby is here you'll be that busy you won't have time to eat or sit down.
You must be due (with 6 weeks still to go).
Don't worry about labour ill be right there to help you (milangry)
Don't worry about being tired we'll come over and take the baby out (no you bloody wont!) guess who.
Bottle feeding is much more practical, you can go back to work in a matter of weeks, we'll have the baby, again guess who!

We're waiting to hear when things start (fils nightly phone calls just to check we haven't had baby and hid it in the sock drawsad)

We'll come over and do your garden for you next week/the week after (I'll be 39-40-41 weeks) so your not alone when you go into labour. (Arrgghhhhhh)

I think you get the point.

"You look ready to drop!"

I was 32 weeks at the time.

Frenelder Fri 14-Jun-13 19:22:05

I asked in the supermarket if the ricotta cheese was passterised to which the lady replied "it's suitable for vegeterians" hmmmmm not quite the same thing...different lines to topic but still very unhelpful

Daisy299 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:26:01

Someone ringing me on my work number: "So was it planned or an accident?"

Mum:
"So I'll have 6 grandsons and only one granddaughter? Oh well."
"You don't really like children anyway, do you?" (in front of a restaurant full of people)

Mother in law:
"Congratulations! Now do you promise me you won't don't do anything you shouldn't?"
"How does it feel having put on the weight again?"

The in-laws have also got the due date wrong every single time I've spoken to them.

HazleNutt Fri 14-Jun-13 19:30:17

"Should you be doing/eating that"??

Well, I am, therefore yes. Do you think I haven't realised I'm pregnant?

lemontwist Fri 14-Jun-13 19:36:40

I had 'was it planned' several times. Yes, very much so as a matter of fact but how rude anyway.
A colleague told me numerous times how her aunt had died in childbirth,seemingly in every conversation even vaguely baby related.
After someone said I looked a little tired another colleague said 'it only gets worse after they're born' then cackled gleefully for about 5 minutes.

Chickpea1983 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:38:45

When we told the neighbour she said 'oh, are you pleased?'. I am not good at hiding my feelings and tersely replied 'of course we are!'

TinkyPeet Fri 14-Jun-13 19:39:49

"Not much longer now..."

Not helpful ... FUCK OFF!!!!

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:40:02

OMG cupcake, that is quite a run! This thread is giving me further flashbacks. Female stranger at a party: wow your breasts look great, huge. Tell him to enjoy those while he can, there won't be much time for that afterwards

islingtongirl Fri 14-Jun-13 19:41:18

Don't eat lamb/watermelon/pineapple/drink soya milk or cold water

Don't leave the house for a month after baby is born

Don't wash your hair for a week after birth

Above all courtesy of MIL confused. No idea where she gets these things from....

Chickpea1983 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:42:19

HazleNutt, I ad the same at work the other day. As I said, not good at hiding my feelings and replied 'I don't give a fuck'. I actually do care massively but so fed up of being questioned like I am some imbecile licking dog crap on the pavement!

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