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Being 'mean' to your husband during pregnancy and a bit emotional?

(37 Posts)
Bejeena Thu 13-Jun-13 11:13:27

OK so I am wondering if this is happening to anyone else. Of course in an ideal world I'd love to think that everyone will tell me that my husband is being an @rse and I am totally normal, but I am a realist and I know that he is a fabulous man, I wouldn't have married him otherwise.

I am 30 weeks pregnant. Oh and I don't think it helps that he doesn't believe in or understand hormones, probably thinks women make it up (but oh god help us if I try to speak to him after he has had a hard day at work and is tired!)

I sometimes feel like I am constantly apologising to my husband for biting his head off about something that is meaningless because I am just annoyed that he doesn't do things around the house, or rather he doesn't do things around the house immediately. I am not talking about picking up after himself, he does that no problem, but more about sort of 'shared' household things.

Like for example on Sunday night he got some washing in that was dry and put the basket of folded stuff on floor next to table. We don't iron so this stuff was just to be put away and consisted mainly of bedding but also a few clothing items belonging to each of us, him more than me. This morning I kind of lost my box because it was still there and he hadn't actually thought to put it away (I just wanted to see how long it would be until he realised hence didn't put away myself, plus he says he doesn't want me straining and putting bedding away means bending down as we have underbed storage for it). This morning I was also annoyed because he went to empty the dishwasher just as I was about to make my breakfast and there is only space for 1 in the kitchen and I was just mad that he hadn't done this last night. It is a bit like everything has to be done when it is convenient for him!

Then I am sad that I just don't feel he shows much love or treats me like I would like. Like sometimes I'd like a cup of tea in bed or something on the weekend, but he sleeps so late (until 12) that I just have to blooming well get up and make it myself. This goes on to another incident on Sunday morning when I was opening the shutter in bedroom at about 10:00am I managed to whack myself in the chin with the shutter handle it was really painful so I screeched out a load 'Oww' to which he woke up and asked what was wrong. I was so annoyed about the prospect of spending yet another Sunday morning alone while he sleeps that I just replied shorty 'I've banged myself in the chin that is all, nothing with the baby' and he just went back to sleep. I got myself some ice and felt sorry for myself and still have a big bruise :-(

I know a lot of this is silly and me just being over the top and pregnant but I was wondering if anyone else was the same? I feel like I am constantly being horrible to him and that my needs are pointless.

Oh and catching up on Corrie last night didn't help either, David bought Kylie the pregnancy pillow as she was having trouble sleeping and Marcus bought Maria the necklace. He wouldn't think to do anything like that, not that I am expecting him to buy me stuff at all but sometimes just the little thought would be nice like a little bunch of flowers or pack of maltesers or something just so that I knew he cared. Instead I just get mad at him for silly reasons which upsets me and then I go out and get him a little treat to say sorry or to cheer him up and say thanks for putting up with me (I am not talking a major pressie here, just like a chocolate bar or something)!

Please someone else tell me they are also acting silly like this and that we are both completely normal!

muddybloodypuddles Fri 14-Jun-13 09:53:39

I'm with you on the nose picking but now I've got DS doing it too (wonder where he gets that from hmm )
We had a little chat last night about talking to each other and treating each other with 'respect' as he thinks I speak to him like a child sometimes (well if the shoe fits?!)
I was feeling quite mellow for a few weeks but looks like the short temper is back :-/ - unfortunately the cat and dog get shouted sometimes too blush - I always imagined I'd be some kind of patient and loving 'earth mother' type, apparently not! (although there's still time right?!)

purpleaura Fri 14-Jun-13 13:44:25

This is a great thread! I'm loving the towel and nostril digging updates! Im 28 wks, and here's my confession... the other night, I asked DP to pass me the TV remote, which he did, but he put it down just beyond my reach. He absolutely didn't do it on purpose, he just didn't realise that it would make me howl!! Through my sobs, I had a mini-rant about how cruel it was to do that to a pregnant woman! Poor man. He's so lovely! I noticed him taking in a deep breath (!!) but quietly enough so that i wouldn't notice too much and get annoyed at that too!!

And I'm definitely with knittinggirl- if you find yourself wishing he was doing something, just ask, then you don't get all wound up inside.

Oooh and a top tip- sign your DP up for the weekly NHS pregnancy emails. You can tell him its got loads of good tips for dads to be, which it has. But it also reminds them to make sure they are helping us out, doing more housework and explains about hormones and emotional stuff. I think its really helped him be more aware of what its like for me, without any crying or ranting on my part smile

Good luck all!

TinkyPeet Fri 14-Jun-13 14:01:55

I love this thread. It makes me feel slightly better about throwing a jug at my dh last night because his attempt at washing up wasn't good enough and the jug was on the wrong side of the drainer.
I followed this by ordering him upstairs to sweep the bathroom floor as he hasn't taken his shoes off at the foot of the stairs (where the bloody shoe basket is) and got dried mud all over after I had made the effort of carrying the vacuum upstairs (what I had forgotten to mention was I didn't actually vacuum in the end - not the point !)
Have lost count of the times I have said 'will you stop biting your disgusting nails you fucking cretin!' Over the past few months....

Health visitor came today, asked questions and gavel a leaflet on domestic abuse. To which I laughed and said 'he isn't brave enough trust me'.....got the hmm look....lol

Nellysgirl Fri 14-Jun-13 14:18:31

Oh I have been in stitches reading through your experiences. Only because I can relate to nearly every single one.
Please keep them coming.
Trying to pluck up the courage to tell you about my very unreasonable behaviour this morning. I'm quite ashamed of myself confused

Df got out of bed before me this morning .... i got really really angry at him and fumed i. Bed for 20 minutes confused i have no idea why! It's not like we have a schedule but i was so angry i wanted to cry blush

beth27123 Fri 14-Jun-13 14:27:53

oH is a pain. A total pain. Well he isn't...but he is.
I spent four hours throwing up while he sat downstairs because he 'didnt want to bother me' and then came up with a muffin and some apple juice. Well...thanks a f*cking bunch you twat. He breaths too, I have a serious issue with that.

HelgatheHairy Fri 14-Jun-13 14:35:54

I wanted to throw DH out of bed last night. It's quite humid where we live (south west Ireland but think the heat is getting to me more than normal) and I'm finding it really hard to get comfortable in bed. And DH will NOT stick to his side of the bed!! I got up to pee and when I came back into the bedroom I could see he'd shifted over and his pillow was actually on top of mine and he was lying on his stomach on most of my side of the bed!!! I shoved him over but then ended up lying there fuming for ages more!

purpleaura Fri 14-Jun-13 16:40:34

lol beth27123- i know- how dare they breathe?! isn't is incredible that an ill-timed, or over-loud breath, or (god-forbid) both can provoke such fury?! Bless 'em!

Nellysgirl- go on! Spill! We all want to hear how very unreasonable you were!

LabradorMama Fri 14-Jun-13 17:04:31

Fairy I hear ya - mine dried himself on a hand towel this morning because couldn't be arsed to get a bath sheet off the bedroom radiator. I've begged him not to do this and have taken to only having one hand towel out at a time (because he used to use all three)

He also never opens the blinds - only the door curtain (I assume because it's an easy, one hand type job) so we also look like we live in a crack den.

I really fancied a glass of juice this morning but picked up the carton out of the fridge and there was just the teensiest dribble left. I know he supped the lot from the carton and couldn't be arsed to put it in the bin

And he left the drive gates open so I had to trot out in my dressing gown to shut them before letting the dogs out

And breeeeathe ......

Jollyb Fri 14-Jun-13 18:34:39

I have the reverse . A DP who opens the curtains before I've had a

starsandstripes72 Sun 16-Jun-13 07:02:59

My dh literally cannot do ANYTHING right. The most 'annoying' thing he does at the moment is going to the shops to get me something tasty I've specifically asked for and coming back with something completely different because he thought 'i might like it instead'. Actually sobbed my eyes out last night when I begged him to get me a white chocolate magnum icecream or a twister an he comes back with this dark chocolate and caramel magnum. I detest dark chocolate!!!! Personally i think he deserved the 2 hour tantrum that followed...i still didnt get my icecream sad

Woodifer Sun 16-Jun-13 16:23:03

oh i need to show this thread to DH so he knows he is not alone!!

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