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Where should baby sleep

(81 Posts)
kd83 Tue 11-Jun-13 15:05:08

Can anyone advise.

Baby isn't due until Oct but we have a cat who currently sleeps upstairs and I want to get him in to a new routine in plenty of time.

We are already keeping him out of the baby's room, but I've read that baby should sleep in your room for the first six months, is this true?

Two problems with this are the lack of space in our room for anything more than a Moses basket (ie no space for the cot) and the cat.

How long was baby with you before moving into their own room?

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 19:20:37

own room since birth under our own volition
not influenced by an author
was always the plan

Lavenderandroses Fri 14-Jun-13 14:51:12

Well if gina ford says so!

lurcherlover Fri 14-Jun-13 13:18:27

JoJo, the monitor makes no difference. It's not you hearing baby that's important. It's baby hearing you. They hear their parents' breathing and it helps them regulate their own. Noises made by parents also stop babies from having prolonged periods of very deep sleep, which again is dangerous as that's when they're more likely to "forget" to breathe (it's such a new reflex that it needs time to mature). It's thought that overheating is dangerous for this same reason, that babies that are too hot tend to just fall into a deep sleep.

Your baby, your choice, but I would caution against Gina Ford. She has no medical qualifications and her "advice" goes directly against the medical professionals who dedicate their careers to finding causes of SIDS and trying to reduce risk. She also gives incredibly bad and outdated breastfeeding advice and encourages new parents to leave a distressed baby to cry if it's not time in the "routine" for it to be cuddled. Honestly, you're really better off without her.

sameoldIggi Fri 14-Jun-13 13:13:37

Rofl.

JoJoManon Fri 14-Jun-13 13:01:27

I'm putting my baby in it's own room from Day One on it's own.
Will have a monitor etc. According to Gina Ford that's fine.

lurcherlover Fri 14-Jun-13 12:08:42

Littlest it's about relative risk and motivation for me. Letting a toddler watch a bit of CBeebies does not increase his risk of dying. Nor does giving him a non-organic carrot.

If a baby has to move out of the parents' room because the cot won't physically fit in, of course there's no alternative (it might be possible to sleep on an air bed in the baby's room for a while, it might not). If baby is being moved out purely because parents don't want him/her in with them- that to me is a bit silly. None of us are perfect parents, and everyone does things against guidelines from time to time. But if you can physically keep baby in with you, it is a relatively easy and straightforward way to further cut the sids risk. Deciding not to bother seems odd to me, regardless of whether or not you also had the odd glass of wine in pregnancy.

BraveLilBear Fri 14-Jun-13 11:13:41

Will do Hazle - am hoping the reality will kick in and he'll come to his sleep-deprived senses in due course...

HazleNutt Fri 14-Jun-13 10:54:11

Brave just send him some of the SIDS links that have been posted here. Sleeping in the same room significantly reduces the risks and not because you stay awake keeping an eye on the baby, but simply because you are there. Having baby in another room with a monitor, even the breathing sensor one, does not offer the same benefit.

If your DH really can't share the room with the baby, he should be the one sleeping in another room. I agree though that baby crying in another room, you getting up and later getting back to bed, several times per night, is more likely to disturb him than sharing the room.

BraveLilBear Fri 14-Jun-13 10:31:17

Wincher and sameold it's a tricky situation. He's had a baby before and thinks that a) this one will be the same (ie a miraculously good sleeper) and b) that it doesn't matter how tired I get, he's the one who has to get up for work and drive 50 miles on little sleep.

So, we'll have to play it by ear. I had read that one of the benefits of having baby in room is that they learn to sleep in conditions that aren't perfectly silent and perfectly dark, but the bit about them regulating their breathing was a new one to me.

If I can get DP to keep coming to the antenatal classes (he's trying to avoid them because he found the first two 'boring') I will make sure we get straight answers to some of these questions - he may be more swayed by 'authority' than by me...

bigkidsdidit Fri 14-Jun-13 09:57:17

We do all just do our best and follow guidelines as much as we can. For example, SIDS guidelines say to breastfeed and use a dummy, which lots f people don't do incase of nipple confusion. I did that, and I had DS in with me for 6 months. But I had a thread this week about whether to buy a new cot bed mattress for DC2 (due today) and decided not to, although I have bought a new moses basket.

kd83 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:42:32

I'm amazed my post has generated so much discussion, and thank everyone for their comments advice and feedback.

We will endeavour to keep baby in with us for as long as is feasible, but will react to the situation as it develops.

I take the SIDS research and advice seriously, but cant help but feel that the cut off of 6 months for baby sharing a room is fairly arbitrary, and that each family's situation will be different (as is evident from all the posts here).

In the absence of other risk factors, such as smoking, it is likely we will move baby into its own room earlier than six months, but we are not committing to any decision either way yet.

Secondly, the comments that the cat is unlikely to come near the baby are very reassuring and again we will address the issue as and when it arises.

I think when I originally posted I was in a bit of a hormone induced panic!

sameoldIggi Fri 14-Jun-13 09:09:51

Is eating organic food shown scientifically to have a link with reduction of death in babies? Or mothers eating fried food leading to infant mortality?
There's bollocks, and there's dangerous bollocks.
You follow the most important stuff, that has the biggest weight of evidence behind it. Not the same at all as doing everything every random hcp tells you.

FoofFighter Fri 14-Jun-13 09:06:51

Slightly different risks and possible outcome though littlest... hmm

littlestgirlguide Fri 14-Jun-13 08:24:53

I'd like to believe that everyone above quoting guidance has never done anything not approved by a health professional. Before pregnancy, they have never smoked, never drunk alcohol, never eaten fried food, they have never fed their children anything but organic food purchased locally at a farmers market, never used cbeebies as a babysitter when feeling ill.... and therefore are being purely helpful and caring rather than patronising and self righteous. But I'm afraid I can't believe that, so in the meantime, back to the original question. The OP asked where baby should sleep. Of course, baby should sleep in the same room as you for the first sixth months. But in reality, what happens is that we read the guidance and we do our best! Nobody should ask more of you than that.

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 21:56:35

yy me too redandyellow

Fantastic you are messing with me! <burns Bednest> grin

TheFantasticFixit Thu 13-Jun-13 21:50:40

It's a thing of beauty! I love that thing nearly as much as DD!

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Thu 13-Jun-13 21:32:53

Ooh that's worth a look rootypig it was the one thing I hated about sharing a room last time.

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 21:10:45

I am looking at this Amby. what a contraption! shock
am defo going to try for DC2 if I ever get over DD not sleeping more than four hours in 7 months

sameoldIggi Thu 13-Jun-13 21:00:18

Foof, I didn't misread it but I certainly mistyped it! blush
Obviously Wincher was making a good suggestion, I was just angry that a soon-to-be-father thought he was in any position to put his foot down about where the baby sleeps, especially when the poster seemed upset about this.

TheFantasticFixit Thu 13-Jun-13 20:59:21

Ha rootypig - the Amby IS the secret! Honestly, it's bloody amazing.

I have a great, tactile, intimate relationship with my DH. But goodness, the last thing I fancied shockas sex for about 4 months or so post birth. Any man who respects you won't expect until you are ready either. And it's bloody 6 months! Only 6 months, for the safety of your baby. C'mon. It's surely a total non issue? There is SO much research to say it is the safest way for a baby to sleep. Please listen to it.

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 20:55:30

oooh redandyellow get one of these I have one and can angle it so it casts virtually no light in the room

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Thu 13-Jun-13 20:16:37

I don't know why you'd risk not following the guidelines. My DS slept in our room for 6 months and will do the same with the new baby. I couldn't take the risk of not doing that. It was a pain in the arse as DS was sensitive if I put the light on so I couldn't read in bed but big deal really!

TheCountessOlenska Thu 13-Jun-13 20:15:17

I'm the polar opposite of the "baby goes in own room from week one" folk, in that I merrily co-sleep with newborns grin Which I believe is also going against SIDS advice - So I really think at the end of the day, you have to do what suits your family. Yes read all the advice but you have to consider your own sleep (v important) and practical issues such as size of house, pets etc.

By the way OP, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your cat never enters your bedroom again, once he hears that first newborn wail you won't see him for dust grin

lurcherlover Thu 13-Jun-13 20:13:23

I really don't get the "I know about the guidelines but what about my marriage" comments.

It's 6 months. 6 months. That is not a lot of time in the great scheme of things, to do something that is proven to reduce the chance of your baby dying.

For the first month or so you're going to be bleeding, probably still a bit sore and hormonal anyway, so probably not up for a shag. And after that - babies sleep a lot and really have no awareness of their parents having sex in the same room. It's really not child abuse!

rootypig Thu 13-Jun-13 20:00:23

TheFantastic your baby slept through from 8 weeks! tell me your secret envy

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