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Utterly livid on behalf of my niece

(26 Posts)
Songbird Wed 22-May-13 17:38:42

My niece is 20, as is her boyfriend. She found out she was pregnant about 2 months ago and had her first midwife visit today. The mw made her feel like utter shit, making comments like she would 'have something to say' to her son if he got into this situation (he's the same age as them), and was just generally very judgemental and not at all supportive.

DN has had a horrible time of it so far, terrific pain in the very early days leading to an emergency scan, end of year exams at uni, which mercifully finished last week. Most of all, she has been completely freaking out! Her boyfriend is being wonderful - he went with her today and is pissed off but not upset by it. Bless them, they're getting married in a couple of weeks as it's important to them both, but this is piling on loads more stress.

Admittedly she is hormonal and is feeling sensitive about what people think about the whole situation, but still, surely your mw should be a pillar of strength and support for you?! She's the only midwife at the surgery so DN is stuck with her, it looks like. No wonder she feels she can treat people like shit if there's no competition hmm. There must be young women who avoid appointments fearing this sort of treatment. After initially being really upset, DN is now being more 'fuck it and fuck her' about it, which is good.

Sorry, just needed to vent!

TrudyW Tue 11-Jun-13 16:24:14

It's amazing what they think they can say, I too became pregnant at 20. My hubby proposed and we wanted to try for our son straight away as I had been told at 16 due to lots of ovarian problems I would have difficulty conceiving naturally so we figured hey let's start trying now we're engaged and hopefully by the time the wedding comes round we'll be pregnant a short time after. To both our amazement we caught on the first month of trying, we didn't cancel our wedding date or move it until after our son was born because as long as we were happy who cares! When I went into labour a midwife said to me ooh your wedding and engagement rings are very shiny and new looking, then looking at my hubby said did u give them to her because u thought u had gotten her into trouble! Haha we just looked at one another and just laughed! We're still happily married after 4 years and expecting baby number 2 after a miscarriage last year! Tell your niece to complain as looking back I wish I had, its just outright rudeness! Good luck to your niece and fiance! X

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