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Top tips dealing with busy bodies :)

(57 Posts)
cookiemonster100 Fri 17-May-13 18:50:33

Hi all,

PG with our 1st child & I have noticed that a lot of people seem to offer advice / lectures / preach to you. For examples I have had one woman give me a lecture today on the cons of epidurals , ( not requested by me just another interfering busy body) & another ask " should you be eating that" i am very aware this gets worse once kiddies are on the scene.
So what are your come back lines / tactics with dealing with these people? I am looking for more for a verbal route because bashing them over the head is not allowed (shame) ;)
Thanks x

Bunnylion Mon 20-May-13 19:25:36

I'm gearing up for a natural hypnobirth.

For months I've been working hard at conditioning my mind to really know that I will be in control and am able to birth the baby confidently and calmly, without relying on other people to get the baby out - obviously as long as there are no complications.

But I can't go 2 days without a random person feeling the need to remind me of the fear, the pain and the horror that some women suffer, including..."god it was the worse day of my life", "you will fell like you're gonna die", "he can't look at his wife the same now", "you'll be screaming for an epidural, everyone does"", "don't worry you'll forget the unbelievable pain once you see the baby", "Maria needed 5 pints of blood", "the doctor had to sit on her to squeeze the giant baby out", "it got stuck", "so glad I'm not a woman (shudders)".

I've taken all these comments gently and let them pass with a nod and a smile up till now, but if some comment like that pops into my head during labour it could really make me panic.

I know people really don't realise they are doing any harm but from today I decided to just cut them off with, "sorry to interrupt but if you're not about to say anything positive then please stop there".

Dildals Mon 20-May-13 22:51:47

Someone asked me the other day 'do you know what you're having?'. My deadpan response 'a baby'. Quite pleased with myself.

amazingmumof6 Mon 20-May-13 23:54:02

dildalsgrin I've done that too!

also had fun with telling people stupid names we might call baby.
I love sewing so my favourite tease was: Button for a boy, Ribbon for a girl.
Problem is that I said that so many times I fell in love with those names! thank goodness we never had twins, -imagine!

ChocsAwayInMyGob Tue 21-May-13 12:08:11

Dildals, you see I think your response sounds rude and sarcastic

I don't thinking asking someone that question is rude, it's just small talk and to be sarcastic just sounds wrong to me.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Tue 21-May-13 12:08:56

Bunnylion- I do agree that telling pregnant women horror stories is tactless.

EldritchCleavage Tue 21-May-13 12:14:48

I found just saying "What?!" in a very brisk Joyce Grenfell way would put most people off continuing. Though I once got cornered by a woman in the shop where I was buying maternity bras who asked if I had any cravings, then ticked me off for succumbing to them (apparently oranges are very acid and if you eat them regularly in pregnancy it ^could harm your baby^). I think I just wandered off.

amazingmumof6 Tue 21-May-13 12:17:43

my most tactful deflecting is "that's a good question!" then nothing.

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