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Who has a glass of wine? No bashing please

(187 Posts)
Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 14:09:21

I have a glass of wine once a week. A small glass and I feel guilty about this. Although, the midwife said this is fine. With my first I had a glass prob once a month. I was more strict. Also, this time around I have coffee (one cup made at home) every other day. I feel guilty about that as well.

Please list how often you drink either wine or coffee. If you don't drink either at all, no need to post please.

DietPregnancyResearcher Mon 22-Jul-13 18:02:43

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Queazy Sat 11-May-13 09:11:31

I gave up coffee and wine until 16 weeks. Then had occasional coffee. After 20 weeks I now have a coffee every morning and one glass of wine at the weekend. I really look forward to both. I'm more worried about my chocolate and cake consumption to be honest...I've been really bad at stuffing myself with empty calories. Thank god for vitamins smile xx

olivertheoctopus Fri 10-May-13 22:51:27

I can't keep up with the changing advice about alcohol consumption in pregnancy. One glass a week is fine and not going to lead to foetal alcohol syndrome. I don't drink tea or coffee anyway (don't like it) and have a completely non scientifically based theory about Diet Coke causing my recurrent mc's but post 20w, Diet Coke is fair game and I drink 1 - 2 cans a day.

Joskar Fri 10-May-13 22:41:13

Please don't feel guilty. It's not as if you are on the batter every night. I have the odd unit here and there and I'm certain it's not harming anything. I have this good book by Dr Linda Geddes called Bumpology that lays out the scientific evidence about booze, caffeine, cheese etc. See if you can get a hold of it because it is very reassuring.

RoxyLady Fri 10-May-13 18:40:39

What is there to be smug about? Odd comment

Featherbag Fri 10-May-13 16:58:16

Roxy, go back to polishing your halo, I think you got a bit of smug on it.

TalkUsernameYoudLike Fri 10-May-13 15:08:34

Throughout my pregnancy I probably had about 4 small glasses of wine overall.

MrsBri Fri 10-May-13 14:35:05

I've had a handful of glasses of 4% stuff since the start of the second trimester, which coincided nicely with Christmas!

And I did have about 3 glasses of wine on my wedding day at 3+5 as I figured it was too early to matter, though I didn't drink again in my first trimester.

I don't drink often at all, but figure the odd glass of low alcohol is fine.

I have about 3 cups of tea a day, but don't like coffee. I've not changed to decaf.

It's my first pregnancy, and I have the odd glass of wine and (more than) the odd cup of coffee. Feel guilty about it all the time. Especially as, in general, I have no idea what I'm doing! Pregnancy is the hardest thing I've ever done!

RoxyLady Fri 10-May-13 14:31:09

I didnt bash. I gave my opinion for myself.

TrixieLox Fri 10-May-13 13:37:39

I reallllly don't think the NHS guidelines for pregnant women are an attempt to 'control women'. ;-) I mean, really?! What about the guidelines for healthy prostrates / testicles etc for men? Is that an attempt to control men?

They're guidelines. That's all. Really no need to read into them.

Didn't have a drink last night but today has been awful both dc have been just terrible so i'm having a bottle and am happy smile

Tea if I can't get decaff.

Alcohol on special occasions.

In fairness, I am a cheap date pretty sensitive to both, so that single glass at a special lunch has me squiffy enough not to consider driving. Ditto caffeine - one coffee has me twitching like a meerkat.

WhentheRed Thu 09-May-13 20:53:13

For both of my pregnancies, I was drinking quite heavily before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't drink at all afterwards. I think having a glass of wine a week, or even more frequently is fine. After all, for many of us of a certain age, our amniotic fluid no doubt contained a fair few units of alcohol, not to mention the smoking.

However, even though my logical self told me it would be fine, my "sky is falling" self told me that it would be just my luck if something did go wrong, and I couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life looking at my child knowing it was my fault.

Teaandflapjacks Thu 09-May-13 20:38:21

To be honest ladies I think bunnylion has it spot on - well said chick. I was just putting in the opposite view - not flaming or whatever the wording is for this stuff likewise when people say people like me are being daft or being controlled or whatever it is. Not quite sure what another poster meant but there is no need to start some weird thread condemning women on having a drink! Women have enough to put with without attacking each other. confused I was certainly not doing that, I sincerely hope it did not come across as such, but this is a forum where we are able to have free speech on, I hope usually with common decency, and in the interests of impartiality adding some info that I would hope would be taken at face value as a wish to help other women make informed choices if they come on here looking at both sides of a very difficult debate. xx

Bunnylion Thu 09-May-13 19:19:10

Really interesting to hear how it is seen around the world.

I guess there is a whole spectrum of cautiousness when it comes to drinking alcohol, where you decide to sit on that spectrum is 100% your choice. So long as all women are fully informed and free to make their own rational decision then it's not anyone's business to pass judgement either way.

Personally, I have a couple if drinks if I want to. I don't want dirty looks when I do, just as much as I wouldn't want anyone telling me I should drink if I decided not to - 100% the mothers choice.

I think that's what my number 1 big irritant is when it comes to my pregnancy, everyone seems to want to tell me what to do. Like I'm no longer an intelligent and capable person able to make sound decisions. Glad to see there's so much support and positivity on here instead.

Squitten Thu 09-May-13 18:37:41

I don't drink coffee but will have 2 or three cups of tea a day. I have about a glass of wine per week. If we are at home on a weekend, we will sometimes buy a bottle to have with Sunday lunch and that will be my glass. It's not regular though - I haven't drunk any alcohol for about 3wks now because we haven't been home at weekends.

I had my booking in appoint two weeks ago and when I said I drank a glass per week, the midwife gave me a very polite smack on the wrist and said I shouldn't drink any at all. Awkward...!

honeytea Thu 09-May-13 18:04:17

The Swedish attitude to alcohol extends to worry about how much alcohol the husband/partner drinks. We had to fill out a form at my booking in appointment and the questions included "how many drinks did you drink each week pre pregnancy" as well as "how many drinks do you drink each week" whilst pregnant.

I have a friend who's dp works in promotion for a drinks company so drinks a drink or 2 4-5 nights a week, maybe not a healthy amout to drink but non of the midwifes business really. He was sent to a quit alcohol group confused

I conceived ds on a particually boozy skiing trip, it was the month before we were due to start IVF and I had had a scan of my overies and was told I would not ovulate that month so I just enjoyed maybe a little too much alcohol and tried to forget about the IVF starting the month after. The alcohol I drank was all before my period was due, I actually think it was all before implantation but on my pregnancy notes it still mentions this alcohol intake as a worry.

MrsFruitcake Thu 09-May-13 17:51:26

Both times I went off coffee, but would drink about 2-3 tea-cups (the small ones with a saucer) of milky tea a day.

No alcohol in first pregnancy until about 20 weeks and then only a tiny glass when the mood took me, which wasn't often In the second pregnancy, i had about two glasses for the whole pregnancy, both times on special occasions.

it was a concious decision to not drink alcohol though.

fibrecruncher Thu 09-May-13 17:50:44

Well said/drawn FoofFighter and RoxyLady the post from Mamabear12 clearly says no bashing please. I'd suggest if wanted to write one about condemning women for having a glass of wine during pregnancy you should start a new thread. As for being selfish, yes indeed. I'm finding pregnancy incredibly difficult. After 30 odd years my body for the time being is nolonger mine in so many aspects, that is not easy to adjust to. And I cheers to that! http://cdnmn.com/emo/te/wine.gif

bicyclebuiltforfour Thu 09-May-13 17:49:40

Adding another American insight...

When I told my insurance company I was pregnant they went through a patronising 'quiz' with me over the phone to 'help' determine my risk of premature birth or something. One of the questions was whether I drank any alcohol. I, stupidly, said yes, about a glass of wine a week. The nurse I spoke with gave me the full 10 yards about how I was harming my baby and then said she had to check the box of 'drinker' on my form. This would result in my OB being contacted and me likely being recommended for 'help with alcohol'. I managed to convince her not to but still... Not sure if this was an American attitude, my insurance company's, or just a poorly designed form (where one sip is viewed in the same way as a bottle of vodka a night) but it was pretty shocking to me. Since that point whenever anyone asked whether I drank, I replied in the negative.

Teaandflapjacks Thu 09-May-13 17:12:53

Mmmmmm. I put a counter argument in - just to give a balance of views here, partic when some new pregnant women may read this. My ten cents:- I spoke at great length to my very experienced Gyn. here (germany) on this - she is an infertility expert and helped me after a year of trying, a miscarriage last year, before I fell pregnant with my little one currently cooking. She said yes there are many conflicting reports, however the fact remains alcohol passes over from the mother to the baby via the placenta, and the developing baby cannot filter it out in the same way. As such there is no known 'safe' limit, since when you have a drink it could be at a crucial stage in the babys development. There are some major known issues with some of the studies - such at the 2012 Danish one, where 51% did not respond - was this because they had drunken, even a small amount, and their children had issues? We have no idea of the real impacts of this - in so much that issues such as dyslexia, for example, could be caused from this (my docs words not mine). I have a friend who tucked into two or three glasses a week - her baby was born with a heart defect. I have another friend who tucked into 5 glasses a week - her baby has delayed motor and cognitive functions, I have another friend, who's mother drank a few glasses each week during pregnancy with her - she has a heart murmur and dyslexia. I could go on. How do we know this is not from drinking in utero? And look at the level of mental health issues in the UK - 1 in 4 I think - how do we know this does not correlate in some way? Where is the proof it doesn't? We know so very little about the brain and cognitive functions in reality. This is nothing to do with standard IQ tests. It is effectively 8 1/2 months give or take - if you are unaware for the first month your are pg (and at this stage it is ok since embryo not yet implanted) - and we have such great alcohol free beer options these days. The same like just don't smoke. The point is yes you must not give your life over to a child - but when the baby is in your womb, there is nothing they can do about it. Once they are out -drink away if you want to - via FF or expressing or feed timing etc.

Anyway for me - I have severe MS throughout so I have no desire for alcohol - and have an alcohol free beer occasionally. I have the odd cup of caffeine tea but mainly de-caff. But I don't judge others who do drink at all - their choice, but I would say something if a friend smoked while pg probably, if anything to offer support to help them stop. But likewise I get a bit upset when people think I am being a bit over top and say 'oh go on, you can you know, it is just to control women this advice' etc etc - no it isn't in my view, and I am not going to ram it down your throat so please don't do the same back to me, kind of like religion I guess. And on the DH aspect - he would have gone with whatever I want, but he was clearly relieved when I said def no alcohol, since it is half his child too - he has also done his research and sat with my Gyn. and heard her views, and I think he has some say in it personally.

happyyonisleepyyoni Thu 09-May-13 16:15:22

after the first 12 weeks I had my 2 units twice a week every week, and enjoyed it. so there.

stayed on that regime while BF for the first few months but after the first 6 months alcohol intake gradually went back to pre DC levels. Have a healthy and bright 2 year old with an alarming taste for white wine now though!

1789 Thu 09-May-13 15:58:47

moderation is definitely key! i definitely don't worry about the occasional glass of wine or cup of coffee. but i wouldn't touch aspartame-laced diet soda when i'm pregnant (or not for that matter)!

FoofFighter Thu 09-May-13 15:50:06

Roxylady:

biscuit

or should that be:

wine

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