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Who has a glass of wine? No bashing please

(187 Posts)
Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 14:09:21

I have a glass of wine once a week. A small glass and I feel guilty about this. Although, the midwife said this is fine. With my first I had a glass prob once a month. I was more strict. Also, this time around I have coffee (one cup made at home) every other day. I feel guilty about that as well.

Please list how often you drink either wine or coffee. If you don't drink either at all, no need to post please.

Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 22:56:50

Usankmybattleship, I feel guilty about many things. Its in my personality to worry and feel guilty. I feel guilty to let my baby cry for a minute when I put her down for nap, but she never cries more then a minute and goes right to sleep for an hour or two. I know drinking a glass of wine is different or q cup of coffee, but I don't think it does harm. I know many people who have done the same. In fact my mother in law drank a few times a week and during her first two pregnancies (she is 70 and a lot of women in her time did). And her sons are all fine. I think I feel guilty about it bc we are made to feel guilty about these things.

I agree with changenametoday. I think a glass here and there is fine.

Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 23:03:45

Teaandflwpjacks, the only reason I said that was because I didn't want a lot of posts saying "I don't drink wine or coffee etc" bc I'm curious about the people who do drink and how much...not really about who doesn't drink. But of course if you don't drink it's okay to post smile I just wanted to get some responses from coffee drinkers and people who drink wine and not only people who don't drink. I guess I'm just curious about others

yousankmybattleship Sun 05-May-13 23:07:21

Please don't use that old chestnut that previous generations drank/smoked etc and had healthy babies. Your MIL might have been lucky, but plenty weren't.
If you genuinely feel you are doing nothing wrong, then what is the point of your post?
I think in your heart of hearts though you know you would be more responsible to have no alcohol or caffeine and that is why you are feeling guilty.

mrspaddy Sun 05-May-13 23:09:37

I had no tea or coffee for first trimester but have one coffee each morning. No alcohol though.. prob not a bad thing.. my liver is getting a break. I drink de-alcoholised wine which is rotten

Helpyourself Sun 05-May-13 23:15:52

Gulp.
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
When I was pregnant, a long time ago, I drank the then recommended amount, which was a glass a day. It wasn't 125 ml, probably more like 200. I never drank more, probably because although my alcoholism wasn't active then I guess I was already on the slippery slope. All children were big and full term and all are NT and very bright. (I can safely say that now as they are almost grown up, selective secondaries, high IQs etc.)
I beat myself up about a lot- enforced early bedtimes so I could crack on, grumpiness etc. but even with my history I don't worry about the drinking in pregnancy.

TheSecondComing Sun 05-May-13 23:25:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helpyourself Sun 05-May-13 23:25:39

To clarify- I was lucky. I'm not suggesting that the guidelines now are too strict. Just for me ^because if how it turned out all three times* I don't feel guilt about the amount I drank.

Featherbag Sun 05-May-13 23:26:12

I'm 9 weeks at the minute and willing the next 3 weeks to pass quickly so can have my glass of red on a Saturday night! I did this from 12 weeks during my first pregnancy, I'd make DH go and choose a REALLY nice bottle of red so I could make a glass lasts couple of hours. He doesn't complain, I don't normally condone the purchase of wine costing more than £5 a bottle!

Anyway, there are studies published and ongoing that have linked the consumption of a small weekly amount of red wine from week 12 of pregnancy to higher IQ and fewer behavioural problems in children. So I'm actually drinking the wine for my DC's sake, not because I want to. So there. wink

fatandlumpy Mon 06-May-13 05:59:35

I have a large mug of a coffee every morning and I have 'wee tasties' 3/4 times a week of whatever the boyf is drinking (beer or wine). I'm now 28 weeks (ish). During the first tri the only booze I drank really were a couple of 'wee tasties' and a glass of Champagne at Christmas and New Year (both of which lasted the full night...). I also had a sip of whisky at New Year. Oh yes - Boyf got me a random 1/2 Guinness once - but I couldn't finish it.

Every couple of weeks or so we go out for a Sunday pub roast and then I have 1/2 a lager (there's a CAMRA pub virtually next door which does an exquisite black lager (on draft) at 4% ABV). I usually can't finish the half - but it's sooooooo gooooood and lasts me the entire meal. No-one batters an eye lid when I drink it - but then again, I'm not quaffing it down...

I also drink 0% beer (either Becks blue or Bitburger Drive) as I like the taste of beer and so I do miss it. I have about 1 or 2 bottles after a harsh day (work about 14 hrs a day when busy... in higher education and I teach medical/veterinary science and pure science students... about drugs and biochemistry so 'flame away' if you wish...)

Recently the boyf found a 1% cider in Waitrose for me - which I had with a meal (huge ploughmans) when we didn't go out for Sunday lunch.

Totes-amaze-balls. Couldn't finish the bottle - but it was damn nice.

I'll leave you with some advice my Mum gave me... your body knows best. Eat what you want, when you want. Do what you want, when you want to. Everything else is 'advice'. It's your body, your pregnancy and your baby.

KingRollo Mon 06-May-13 06:22:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fatandlumpy Mon 06-May-13 07:05:30

Ooooooooh KingRollo - many thanks. I'll keep an eye out or perhaps send the OH out on a quest.

Featherbag Mon 06-May-13 07:43:40

Erdinger's lovely, tastes like real beer - Sainsburys sell it! And Morrisons sells alcohol-free Kopparberg, which tastes exactly like the real thing. Never be tempted by alcohol free wine though, tis Devil's piss.

LouiseD29 Mon 06-May-13 10:04:39

After I found out I was pg I didn't drink alcohol or tea/coffee/coke in the first trimester(apart from a small prosecco on New Year's Eve). Now I'm nearing my third I drink tea and have the odd sip of wine. I never really have as much as even a whole small glass, not because I particularly think I shouldn't but because after four or five sips it just feels like enough. My only craving has been ice cold beer, so after my successful 22 week scan I had a cold bottle of Becks to celebrate - it was delicious!!!

honey86 Mon 06-May-13 11:04:26

i havent had a drop and im14 weeks. . i intend to have a small wine on holiday though, ill be 30 weeks x

Teaandflapjacks Mon 06-May-13 11:05:00

kingrollo i second that - I live in germany and drink that whenever I have wanted a drink - tis wonderful stuff, low cal and isotonic. Obviously it has some alcohol in it - i think 0.05%, but so does things like orange juice in your fridge etc - just very minimal (i guess that would be like 0.01%). I also helped anyone i know suffering in 1st trimester from being unable to 'go' on the loo shift everything out. They swear by that here to help with that.

mrsmellow Mon 06-May-13 12:26:05

It is interesting to hear what other people do - but I think you have to do what feels right for you. I deliberately didn't really drink caffeine or alcohol between weeks 6-10 as that is when the most crucial development occurs - thats not based on scientific evidence, just what felt right to me - and I was feeling sick until about 13 weeks so didn't really have much for the few weeks after that either, but not by choice!
Since then I have had a delicious cup of coffee a day (it is strong proper coffee) which I really enjoy - the evidence is there for too much caffeine causing IUGR so that seems reasonable to me. I have had a glass of red wine once or twice a week with dinner with friends/DH which I really enjoy. I don't feel guilty and as someone said up thread - anxiety and stress is bad for the baby as well. But for some women, that might be an unacceptable risk and that's ok too - read the literature and make a decision for yourself.

ExpatAl Mon 06-May-13 12:40:33

That is when quite a lot of crucial development happens mrs mellow, but there is also crucial development of the brain and nervous system much later into the pregnancy. There is no 'safe' period. I'm not saying that to stop people drinking - everyone makes their own decision. Anxiety and stress such as coping with abuse or living in a warzone is harmful. Not having a drink unless you're an alcoholic isn't in the same league. Does caffeine cause IUGR? I thought that was linked to problems with the placenta and some diseases?

Abra1d Mon 06-May-13 12:45:33

Two small glasses of wine a week in both pregnancies, after week 12. Two healthy, bright children.

Drank coffee, too, just not in such quantities as before pregnancy.

Petcat Mon 06-May-13 17:14:29

I drink one cup of caffeinated tea every day, and have enjoyed between one and two units of alcohol a week throughout my pregnancy. One of my major cravings has been for stout and porter, so I usually have a little 1/3rd of a pint glass of good beer and really savour the taste.

I have read as much of the relevant research about alcohol and pregnancy as I can access. I think the risk posed by very light drinking is incredibly small and feel no guilt whatsoever about occasionally enjoying a tiny amount. To be honest, I'm amazed how judgemental people can be about this issue.

There was an excellent paper recently published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, which found drinking less than 2 units a week has no detrimental impact on the behavioural and emotional development of children. In fact, at age 7, the children of light drinkers had better reading and spatial skills than the children of the abstainers. Once social and environmental factors were controlled for, drinking alcohol in pregnancy was simply found to have no effect, either positive or negative, on a child's eventual wellbeing. Link here

cwtchontoast Mon 06-May-13 21:19:03

I have a bottle or a half of later once or twice a week, coffee smells great to me, but gives me heartburn although I drink pop most days so I'm probably still full of caffeine.

cwtchontoast Mon 06-May-13 21:19:45

Later? I meant lager dammit.

Bunnylion Mon 06-May-13 22:23:28

I have up to 2 coffee plus 2 teas per day. For alcohol up to 2 glasses of wine a week, I'm only drinking wine and champagne now so no spirits.

However I did initially find out that I was pregnant just before Christmas, after a couple of heavy very drunken works party's!

It's good to search and be aware of the dangers but endless worrying wont do you or your baby any good.

Bunnylion Mon 06-May-13 22:24:04

*research, not search.

Thingiebob Mon 06-May-13 22:27:04

I don't smoke/drink or take drugs in pregnancy although I do drink plenty of coffee. At first I cut down on caffeine intake but have noticed it has crept back up again.

Am past caring now as have been informed baby is huge plus I am overdue.

mumoftwoboysS Tue 07-May-13 12:40:50

Agree with changenametoday we are constantly told what we an and can't have and made to feel guilty about it.

I have my daily small (but proper machine) coffee and one cafienated tea a day (sometimes 2) I tried decaf coffee in Costa and its horrid so if I know I'm going to go there I'll forfeit my morning coffee so I can enjoy a proper one later.

Mamabear12Try not to feel guilty- doesn't sound like you're being excessive. I had maybe a glass of wine every couple of weeks with my last pregnancy. I will probably do the same once I'm in my 2nd tri with this one (don't feel like it yet and would rather wait till riskier 1st tri is over)

My DH is also very disapproving re coffee and alcohol so I tend not to bother as he gives me so much grief hmm

my philosophy is enjoy the odd glass of wine if you like it and with coffee and tea? I think you'd have to hae 5 or 6 a day to be doing any harm (or more) my SIL drank about that much every day and all three of her kids are fine and healthy!

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