Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

ARGH. Interfering mother in law.

(31 Posts)
MisselthwaiteManor Wed 01-May-13 16:18:39

Anyone else have this?

I'm probably hormonal and ungrateful and moody. But, she's driving me mad.

She talks about babysitting as if the baby is going to be with her all the time. We don't intend to ever leave the baby there and she has been told. She has been taking second hand stuff from everyone and their dog, she's got a pram, Moses basket, travel cot, carseat, bouncer, she's got people knitting blankets and cardies etc. All of this is for leaving at her house for using while she's babysitting.

She's telling me what to eat, what to do, what to buy. Making orders and demands, have you bought this/that yet? WHY not? etc. Telling me what my sleeping/feeding arrangements will be. There was an 'ew' when I stated my intention to breastfeed.

We don't know the sex but she's decided it's a girl, and what's it's name will be hmm

She's mentioned being in the room while I give birth! Over my cold, dead body will this happen.

I get that she's excited but I'm anticipating her snatching the baby and running away to Spain.

Teaandflapjacks Thu 02-May-13 11:12:27

Izchaz didnt see your post before I posted - thanks that sounds awful.

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Thu 02-May-13 15:57:41

We had this too (although not quite as intense as your MIL by the sound of it!).

It escalated until they came to stay and we had a bit of a face off after she told me that I was 'in for a huge shock' and 'woefully underprepared' (despite moving house, going to AN classes, reading books and getting all the right equipment). I put her straight (politely), she flounced and we didn't hear from her again until the baby was born. And everything was rosy from then on!

dexterpat Fri 03-May-13 22:50:33

We've just had our 20 week scan and found out dc3 is a boy grin that's 3 boys for us and we're really pleased. Especially as my dad died 2 weeks ago, We put it on Facebook her first comment was awwwwww I want another granddaughter sad oh well I love the other ones so it'll do!!- she came round tonight ( seemingly mainly to say that my nephews chicken pox were worse than ds1's!!!) and went 'are we sure it's a boy I want a girl' - I told her she should have another bloody girl herself if my son will not be good enough for her - grrrrr she also has a house full of tat that's for baby sitting ( the last time my boys slept out was in October on a sleep over at my sisters ) I share your (s)mother in law pain

talula040982 Tue 27-Aug-13 16:30:27

i can really sympathise with most of these comments as am dealing with a very interfering MIL. she was ok at the start of me and my partners relationship but as soon as she caught wind that i wanted to have a baby after being with her son for 10 years she did what she could to talk him out of it claiming im not maternal and using sensitive private things about my past such as ive suffered with anxiety so therefore i would never cope being a parent. That was the day i realised she is a selfish nasty person who was only thinking of herself. Shes always been threatened by me and is very needy with my partner it has all been down to worrying that he will forget about her if he has a family of his own- quite pathetic really. yet when her daughter had her first baby she was over the moon and excited. she has been a nightmare since i fell pregnant. She used to rub my tummy and say how is johns baby- john being my partner very wierd. The morning after our first night home from long labour c section she was demanding access to her grand daughter even though she had already visited us in hospital twice. I was beside myself extremely tired but my partner wouldnt support me and hasnt supported me thorughout our relationship when it comes to his mum. I have held my tongue and let her undermine my parenting since the day my daughter was born 12 months on my blood is boiling. She qustions everything from how much milk i give my baby to what time i put her to bed she evn has the cheek to challenge healthy rules that i put down. For instance she has undermined me for months as i refuse to give my daughter juice i give her water but MIL doesnt agree with this. She has something to say about everything i do she is very condescending. Ive asked my partner to have a word with her to back off and let me raise my child however the hell i want to but he has failed to do this or maybe tried but has been unsuccessful so after months of boiling anger i have finally confronted her. She didnt take it well at all i wasnt even rude i just said that i need her to take a step back and not be so critical towards my parenting style. she was very arrogant on the phone advising that i will regret not listening to her and that i will not cope once im back at work. I have since not talked to her but feel really angry about it its hard enough being a first time mum in the first place without having someone else contantly undermine you! my own mother wouldnt dream of undermining me she has supported me from day one always telling me im a great mum and trusts i know best for my daughter. Its a shame she is nothing like my own they have zero in common my mum is a career women who believes in having a healthy balance of family and career while his mum doesnt work has no friends just her family so is very needy.... so can really sympathise with everyone on here and how difficult it is especially when you have a partner who wont stand up for you and yes my partner falls undr the cateogory of choosing his mum to spend xmas with over my daughter and I.

LittlePeaPod Tue 27-Aug-13 16:52:58

Yes I have an over bearing and opinionated ML too but I do love her to bits. This is to be PILs first grand daughter. ML told DF that I had already agreed with her she would take the baby all day at least once a week. We have never discussed this. She constantly tells me what her daughter did and therefore what I should be doing/do when the baby is born, including what books to read… Very annoying. She once said that as my DF will probably not be able to cope with me giving birth apparently his just like his dad who wasn't in the room when the she had both DC, she will be there with me.. No Effing Way! My own mother isn't aloud in the room.. PLUS I am having a ECS (out of choice, no medical reason). We haven't told her this yet because she will not approve - not like I give to flying hoots. My DF is already fully aware that I do not want her hounding me and constantly turning up at the house when our daughter is born. But, I am lucky because he has already told her if she doesn't behave herself she will not be invited to the house and will have very limited access to the baby. TBH, she seems to have improved a little since DF spoke to her.

DF and I have agreed that we will not tell anyone the baby has arrived until we have had at least 1 full day with her alone.

puggywug81 Tue 27-Aug-13 17:57:07

Oooo glad I'm not alone my MIL is lovely, she has a heart of gold but is a little OTT, she came to my 1st midwife appointment and spent ALOT of time discussing her pregnancies and Labour's and even asked the midwife if they will cut my lady garden or let it rip, argh!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now