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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 4

(628 Posts)
rosiedays Wed 01-May-13 09:30:08

as i filled the last post on old thread it seemed only polite to start the new one. hope i've done it right confused

To those who have just found this thread, Welcome and congratulations on you BFP. please feel free to join this amazing supportive group of 40+ mums to be. A very nonjudgmental and friendly place to hang out and share your pregnancy.

Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper, 42, DC1 due 14/06
Newchoos, 40, DC2, due early July
Blueeyes1970,42, DC1 due on 8th July
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Rosiedays, 43 DD3 due 23rd July(ish)
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
Iclaudius,45, due 29/07
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Sparklysapphire, 44, DC2, due 28/8
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept
Notsoold, 41,DC3 due end of October
Animol, 42, DC5 due 13th
November

NewChoos Fri 28-Jun-13 18:47:19

Oh that's good new rosiedays Some midwives do not have great interpersonal skills. I used to work with a girl that went off to do midwifery training and she was just such a rude person, I used to think when she went on and on about how great and autonomous she was going to be, that I'd try and go to another hospital if I saw her in the room!!

Hope everyone has good weekends. I am feeling so hormonal. Had an email form work which p'd me off. I find it hard to switch off from work anyway. Also anxious re DS and how he will find having a new baby around and having to share us.

Only around 2 weeks to go for me, keep getting texts but I am being deliberately vague. My sisters like the glory of a new baby but aren't any actually help which really p's me off too. 1 sister in particular will post the worse pic ever of me on fb as that is what she did last time (her issues), but still....
Rant over.

blueeyes1970 Fri 28-Jun-13 18:57:09

One other thing: do any of you have Lactivist relatives? Or (god forbid) lactivist mums?!! DM keeps insisting on reminding me to "make sure to prepare your nipples" for breastfeeding. Quite apart from the whole "eeew" reaction getting such advice from my mother provokes in me - it's also out of date advice. I know I'll laugh about it in the future... right now, it will provoke a row.

Scatty13 Sat 29-Jun-13 17:56:17

Hello everyone. This is my first day on the site as I am feeling pretty alone and overwhelmed at the moment. I'm 43 and 7weeks with my first.

Was pleased to see this thread as feeling like the oldest preggo woman in the world. Keep freaking out and wondering if I am too old to do this.... my mother had me at a similar age so maybe it's in my blood!

At least I feel like I have lots of life experience behind me I guess. Does anyone else have experience of feeling like this?

I'm also petrified of the whole thing, the responsibility and the physical side of this, although I know I have always wanted a family, however small. What a wuss eh... Plus got am, pm and eve sickness so losing all sense of perspective on this.

How are other expectant 40 somethings coping? xxxx

Animol Sat 29-Jun-13 19:22:02

Welcome Scatty

blueeyes - is that out of date about preparing your nipples? I've never done it but a friend told me how she use to brush hers with a nail brush or something - sounds dreadful obviously but she said it helped

rosie very curious what your job was where you had to wear a bikini - the mind boggles!!!

I must admit I've been feeling a bit low the last few days - headaches, aching legs, people telling me how fat I look and being surprised that that would upset me - and just terrible tiredness - but I had a great scan on Wednesday - LO is moving lots and I'm over halfway smile

Listened to my hypnobirthing cd for the first time - had to stop in the middle as 2 little boys ran in the room screaming - when I stopped I realised that I my head hadn't hurt at all while I'd been listening so hopefully there is something in it!

rosiedays Sat 29-Jun-13 23:27:37

Hi ladies.
blue eyes your next on the list I think. Not had a baby on here for ages! Are they happy for you to go over 40 weeks? My constituents have said they will induce on due date if she's not made her own way by then. I love the squrms although they are getting more uncomfortable. Just keep telling myself she's wriggling down.
[Sad] re the hormones new choos anything in particular bothering you or just life in general? How old is ds? The best advice I've heard is to make sure you're not holding baby when ds first sees you after s/he born. Present from baby to i believe is often done too. Can't remember doing anything special when dd2 arrived! Dd1 would have been just 2.
Your sister sounds lovely! !!! I have only ever given July as my due date i won't be pushed for exact date as, really who knows! Has stopped some of the silly texts. I also don't have to deal with dmil, dsil as they don't speak English smile dh is so excited i don't think he minds. Dmil is lovely and really gives dh sound advice most of the time

[Confused] re the nipple thing. A nail brush wtf!! A soft sponge in the bath is about all i could manage. .. there Soooo tender.

rosiedays Sat 29-Jun-13 23:59:33

Hi scatty welcome and congratulations smile your far from the oldest round here! ! I think 40 s is a great time to have babies. How did you find it growing up with an older mum?
The sickness is horrible flowers but it does usually pass. I coped by being very nice to myself, having whatever i wanted when i wanted it and sleeping lots.
* anomol * great news about the scan, was that the 20 week one? [Flowers] for feeling low. It's bloody hard work at times. Yay over 1/2way. That's a great glass half full attitude (smile)
The bikini. ... lol. I was a scuba diving instructor in the far east and red Sea for years. Miss it so much. Dh promised we will go back to the beach next year. Just have to grow the baby first.

Been busy today, cleaned all the carpets in the flat. .. not nesting but necessity. Our--lovely--neighbours dog has flees! !! ( we don't have any animal but do have a shared hall.) I have bloody bites on my legs and couldn't work out where i was getting them from till yesterday when i actually saw one jump on my phone screen! !! Omg spent a small fortune on flee spray which dh sprayed, then we went for 3 hour walk ( 2 hours walking and 1 in the pub 1/2 way) along the river which was sooo lovely.
There was a new baby ( with parents) sat next to us and dh kept starring at the baby then at my bump. .. He couldn't get his head round the fact that something very similar was wriggling inside. Was software funny to watch.
37 weeks on Monday and eviction notice being served. Tbh i feel very lucky as I still feel really well and am still enjoying being pg.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sun. Xx

rosiedays Sun 30-Jun-13 00:04:20

Mmmm' software' should read 'so funny' and smiley not really working on phone. Sorry! !

Scatty13 Sun 30-Jun-13 13:00:55

Hi rosiedays Thanks. It was fine growing up with an older mum, she really encouraged me to do whatever I wanted and pursue any ambitions I had. The only people who had problems with it seemed to be a couple of bullies at school, who always found something to bully someone about.

Funnily, after your comments about being accused of being underweight, according to my mum I was born a tiny-ish 5lb 6oz at full term, so fully expect the little 'un to be small as well. Spent most of my teenage years defending the fact I was skinny as other girls always assumed I had an eating disorder, which I never did. I'm still a size ten and I guess that's the way it is. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not putting on tons of weight - everybody is different surely, and as long as you and baby are healthy that's all that counts x

Nail-brushing nipples - oh good grief.... I am so unprepared for SO much shock

Animol Sun 30-Jun-13 14:03:53

Ladies - I'm really really NOT suggesting anyone starts nailbrushing their nipples! Just someone told me it had helped her to 'harden' hers up.

Ah - scuba diving - I've read that before but I forgot - still sounds pretty cool!

Feeling a bit better today - thanks for the flowers rosie

rosiedays Sun 30-Jun-13 16:01:25

Nail brushing nipples has had me laughing all day! !!! Think I'm official nesting again. Everything looks dirty. Just scrubbed out the inside of the washing machine! !!

Animol Sun 30-Jun-13 17:49:24

Glad I made you laugh - should you decide to try it please make sure you use a different brush to the one you used for scrubbing out the washing machine with!!

NewChoos Sun 30-Jun-13 20:31:52

Hope everyone had a nice sunny day.
blueeyes fortunately not. Although with DS, my mother thought I should stop bf and gave marvellous advice such as why don't you give him some orange juice - when he was 4 weeks old!! Hope all going well with you.
Welcome scatty I think it's normal to be apprehensive, it's a normal part of being a mum. My advice would be not to pay too much attention to advice...!! It's amazing how many people think they are experts and I used to get quite stressed with all the comments, was much better when I didn't take on board and we did our own thing ie we coslept for ages which was something people always had an opinion on.
animol Hope you are feeling brighter now. People are so insensitive. DH and I take bets on how long it will take my sister to say how enormous I am. The record is 15 seconds without saying hello first! Lovely that you had a wriggly scan.
rosiedays Amazed you managed a 2 hour walk! You're sounding very energetic. We have been busy decluttering and sorting out some storage. Had a lovely afternoon with DS in the garden. That's interesting about not holding the baby, we are also buying him some presents from the baby.
Not hormonal for any particular reason. Although my mum died in March and although we weren't very close it added stress etc and my middle sister I have always found moody/jealous difficult, there are some strange family dynamics. I prefer to keep my distance but they are intrusive when they choose to be ie post pics on fb, bring people round to my house, expect to be waited on when they are here etc etc but don't actually offer any support. DH would love to tell them where to go but I thinking trying to keep the peace is so ingrained in me now. However, my patience is wearing thin...

I'd really love to take DS somewhere lovely next weekend as it's likely to be our last as a 3. Do you think a 90 min drive is too far?

Not persuaded by the nipple philosophies!

rosiedays Mon 01-Jul-13 09:08:50

Hi everyone.
Official made it to term! ! !37 weeks today. Amazed.

Glad you're fee a bit better animol Bloody hormones. How is it that stuff we deal with every day somehow seems a big deal. Sorry to hear about your mum newchoos that's tough.
i bite my tongue with my mother but have not had contact with my sisters for years. They disapprove of my life style choices and are very vocal about it. I really feel for my dad , he's lovely and just wishes we would all get on. I know it hurts him a lot.
Cleaned flat from top to bottom over the weekend, left dh up watching the news (he's egyptain) last night, got up this morning and the place is a bloody mess again! ! Don't know how he does it! Lol. oh well. ... I've nothing else to do!

NewChoos Mon 01-Jul-13 15:18:12

Yay a term baby! Family dynamics are tough rosie I am determined to do things better. Must be a sister thing to be vocal...
We seem to be nesting furiously, DH is the same, just does not see mess, every now and then I have a 'will you put things away' rant.

I am feeling more achey. This is going to sound stupid, but is it obvious when labour starts? I had a section with DS at 38 weeks and don't have a clue really. I have felt quite achy the past few days.... also back ache.

beckytastic Mon 01-Jul-13 16:09:49

Hello all! Just found this thread, great to see others around my age! I'm 15 weeks' pg with my 3rd, have 2 girls 9 and 3 and decided to have one for for the road wink! Haven't told anyone in work yet, going to spill the proverbial beans tomorrow - and have my first nhs scan on Thursday so a big week ahead! Oh, and I'm 40, will be 41 by the time bubs makes an appearance.

Nail brushing nipples?! Sounds interesting, lmao!

rosiedays Mon 01-Jul-13 17:33:09

Hi b beckyfastic welcome to the fab 40 thread. Glad to have some new members to hand over to!

newchoos i have wracked my brain this last 2 weeks trying to remember what labour feels like. Both mine were natural births but I didn't know either time i was in labour. With dd1 waters went at 32 weeks. She was born 4 hours later i was only 17 and just me and midwife. Don't remember anything except thinking ' surly it can't be this Easy.' Dd2 i was 19 again just me and midwife. I went to 36 week check and just said i felt a bit funny
She did internal and said i was 5cm dilated. Went shopping, cooked tea? Hospital rang said iHAD to go in exh went to work (nights) had waters broken at 6 am she arrived by 7. can only remember her saying ' are you sure you don't want pain relief, use the gas and air
. So hope this one is as easy. My worry is I'll not realise till it's to late and end up popping her out at home on my own! !! I am symptoms spotting constantly and keep thinking my waters will pop any minute! Loving it though it's so exciting.

Animol Mon 01-Jul-13 20:16:05

Congratulations rosiedays

Welcome becky - I had fairly obvious waters breaking signal and did also just somehow know - I don't think everyone's the same though

sparklysapphire Mon 01-Jul-13 23:15:38

Rosie, congratulations on making it to 37 weeks, are you hoping LO hangs on in there for a bit longer?

Newchoos, sorry to hear about your mum, still difficulte even though you weren't particularly close. You sound admirably patient with your sister. Good news that you've got your CS date, and for badmiss too. Lots of babies imminent then.

Animol, I hope you're feeling a bit better. I've got a hypnobirthing book from the library, but doesn't come with the CD. I haven't started reading it yet, and it's due back at the weekend.

Nothing very interesting to report here. DH still not coming round, I'm pretty sure he won't until LO arrives, but I very much hope he does then. My mum came down last week to look after DD for a couple of days as I was on nights (that's all night shifts done now - at least until baby arrives!) and DH has been working away the past few days. I had to tell her that MIL will be coming to look after DD when I have LO as while DM is very good with DD, she's no practical use whatsoever and we will not need to be looking after her as well. I think she managed to make me 1 cup of tea while she was here, and if I hadn't provided every meal for her, she wouldn't have eaten. I know this sounds ungrateful as she was doing us a big favour but I could do without having to wait on her at 7 months pregnant. It was nice to spend some time with her though. I'd much prefer that we have a few days getting used to being a family of four without MIL either but can't see what to do with DD otherwise. And MIL is not afraid to express her opinions/query every decision I make regarding DD, so I expect it'll be even worse with a newborn. At least I'll have a better idea what I'm doing this time so should be able to stand my ground better. MIL came when DD was 5 days old and stayed for 5 days which was too much but she can't just pop round as she lives nearly 300 miles away. Sorry, that seems to have turned into a bit of a rant.

The 60th birthday party we went to last weekend was lovely. I did manage a bit of a lie-in on the Sunday, as instead of having to take DD back to our room about 10pm as I expected, she just kept on going til the end of the party at midnight, and consequently slept til 10am the next morning which was lovely. I also met someone there who I know through work, but only see at social gatherings, who's expecting her 1st baby in November, just before she turns 46. She always said she didn't want kids, but changed her mind. It's really nice to know someone in RL having a baby their mid-40s too.

Welcome picklepen, scatty & becky, and hi to everyone else, I hope you're all doing ok.

NewChoos Tue 02-Jul-13 14:55:48

Hello to Becky

You're labours sounded good rosie if that could be guaranteed I'd be tempted to skip my section....
sparklysaphire waiting on family members is very familiar to me... I am also having in laws to look after DS which will annoy my sisters but he does't know then well enough (and I don't think they'd cope with an active 2 year old!). I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be a 4, stand your ground with MIL. It's difficult I know. Could DD go to nursery some days so MIL doesn't need to stay as long?

Had insomnie last night, couldn't get to sleep until about 0130 so I did the most sensible thing a 38 week pregnant could do, I booked a holiday to Florida! Now a bit apprehensive about having a baby and 2 year old on an 8 hour flight - what could possibly go wrong???!

Went and did some last minute shopping today and some prep for me, eyebrows threaded, hair has already been cut and glossed, wish I could summon up the courage for a bikini wax.

Is there a thread the new mums go on to?

rosiedays Wed 03-Jul-13 12:15:25

Morning.
How is everyone?
anomol just seen your on baby no 5! Respect! How do you do it. Makes me feel very lazy as i only have dh to look after and am knackered just doing that. Are youroothers old enough to help out?
(
newchoos I'd say go for the weekend away. Just take notes, hospital bag and car seat and check out where nearest hospital is. Chances are if you take everything nothing will happen.
Oh and holiday to florida sound wonderful. I need to book flights to Egypt but can't bring myself to do it until baby is here. Now thinking maybe flights will go down ifttroubles continue.
Glad you enjoyed the pampering and hope you're getting some better sleep
sparkly I'm happy for her to come anytime she's ready. I will miss being pg though. Love feeling her squirming away inside. Dh on the other hand is desperate for her to come. First thing he says every morning is ' is she coming today' with big hopeful eyes. He calls from work then when he gets home he says. ..' shall i keep my shoes on' again with big hopeful eyes. Bless him.
I hope your dh comes round soon. I'm sure once lo arrives he'll be happy. Exh was awful when I was pg but came round (ish) when she arrived.
Missing my laptop, makes it hard to remember everything that has been said. So sorry if I've missed anything
Parents are due any time now. Flat is scrubbed clean but knows mother will find fault. She has decided that at my stage of pg i should be going out so will stop off and buy some salad for lunch. [ confused] but she does expect me to drive across the city while they follow to get them on the motorway! ! She had 4 of us and dad worked overseas. .... not sure how she coped if she didn't leave the house from 37 weeks.

rosiedays Wed 03-Jul-13 12:17:06

Oh forgot to say. There is a post natal thread hopefully someone will pop back and give us a link

BadMissM Wed 03-Jul-13 13:15:16

Yoo hoo everyone.... am at 37+3, going in on Monday finally for an elective section on Wednesday next week.....was 46 last week for those of you feeling old!

House? Hell, if it's a mess it's a mess...... !!

Animol Wed 03-Jul-13 14:10:40

Hello badmiss oh that sounds really exciting - all the best for Wednesday!

I'm 21 weeks today smile

rosie the big ones are 13 to 6 - certainly old enough for me to think they should be helping - whether or not they do is an entirely different matter!!! We got a new cleaning lady today - yippee - we had one before but she left in October and I've just been skimming the surface since then - this one took one look at the place and said right I'll come twice for 5 hours and do a really thorough clean and then settle into a weekly routine - after months of living with ever increasing chaos it felt a bit like Mary Poppins coming and clearing up!

Anybody who's already had a baby at 40+ - how did you manage with the sleepless nights? My DS3 woke up crying in the night about something or other and it hit me that we might have months of this coming sad

NewChoos Wed 03-Jul-13 20:37:03

rosie Hope your parents visit is not too stressful. I do think mothers have very selective memories..... Also hope your DH is ok and not too anxious re the situation in Egypt. I couldn't book the flight for DC2 but BA said no problem to book in a couple of weeks time. BA have a sale on at the mo, might be worth you taking a look.
Good luck for next week badmiss
Animol I was almost 39 when I had DS, he fed 1-2 hourly and for about 6 months has only just started to sleep through the night. I found the lack of sleep much easier than I thought (but then I did not have any other children to look after).

Hope everyone had a lovely day - and is preparing for the heatwave next week!!

Foxeym Thu 04-Jul-13 09:41:13

Morning, can I join too, DS1 due in October when I'll be 42. Already have 2 DDs age 15 and 12 so I've completely forgotton everything and feel I've never done it before! So excited to be having a DS and the girls are coming round now although the eldest found it a bit difficult to deal with at first (I think it was more the eeewww mum, your too old factor lol)! Definitely not expected in my forties but I'm now counting down the weeks smile

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