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Help who may the dad be

(133 Posts)
leigh1991 Sat 27-Apr-13 11:36:35

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and i made a stupid mistake drunk and had a 1 night stand early hours on the 27 th march this year i found out this month april 11th i was 3+ weeks pregnant so am not sure hu the dad is if i was pregnant to the one night stand shouldn't the test say 2 weeks as 27 th to the 11 april is not more than 3 weeks plus i did take the morning after pill the day after i had a one night stand on the 28 th of march , but i still not 100 percent its just crazy how all year av been with my fella and march i get pregnant and had a one night stand , i calculated my last period which was the 4 th march so i used a due date calculator and it showed days where i was fertile and he day i may of conceived and it showed dates before the 27 th (one night stand) It said i conceived around the 18 th so i may already of been pregnant before the 27 th i am so scares and worried but when i took the clear blue the test said i was to far gone for it to have been the 27 th march ?????

Vocalista86 Wed 22-May-13 16:25:33

I can't believe you are actually contemplating lying to the two men involved in this dreadful situation of your creation. Have you no decency? You clearly have a lack of morals and think you would benefit by takin a good long hard look at yourself and how you have allowed this to happen.

Ra88 Wed 22-May-13 08:10:25

you sound delightful !

If your baby isn't your bfs then you want a termination .. the baby is still yours! and do you really think you should be having a baby with your bf if it is actually his!? there are clearly issues for you to dtd on him!

WeeS Tue 21-May-13 20:46:25

Hi Leigh, what a horrible situation to be in. Nobody can tell you what to do, only yourself, although I think you've been given a lot of good advice from MNers on here.
This may be an expensive option but I think it is possible to get a DNA test in utero at 10 weeks (which would be 8 wks after conception). It does carry risks & you would need a blood sample from one of the men - possibly ask the one night stand guy for a blood sample so you can rule him out? That way your boyfriend needn't know until you are sure of who the father is.
Just an idea, may not be a viable one though, especially as it may be expensive. Best you google it.
I hope you make the best decision for yourself. But I do echo that your boyfriend ought to know if there is a chance it is not his.
Good luck!

phnarphnarphnar Tue 21-May-13 20:31:52

OP you are wrong to count back 8 weeks and 3 days from 3rd May. You must count back SIX weeks and 3 days as when they calculate gestation they add an extra two weeks to take it to the beginning of your cycle.

Therefore this takes you to a likely conception date of 19th March give or take 4/5 days.

Anthracite Tue 21-May-13 20:17:25

I think the OP has said she has used the MAP several times, which is fairly shocking.

She needs to think about her morals.

Sleeping with more than one man while fertile is bewilderingly questionable. especially when the minor character has a family of his own,

What is the OP thinking. Why is she trying to rationalise a feral lifestyle? What hope is thee for her unborn child?

harleyd Tue 21-May-13 19:45:39

you are bang out of order not saying anything to your bf. it will come back and bites you in the ass in the end

beckie90 Tue 21-May-13 19:29:41

I took MAP too also didn't work, it only works by stopping an egg from been released, if you take it when the egg has already been released then it wonO't work, as it just stops ovulation from occuring. Well thats how I understand it anyway.

No one is judging you at all, people make mistakes, its the fact that you really sound likd you are willing to live a lie, even if the child's your partners he still has the right to know, would you like to know if your partner had gone and had a one night stand behind your back and was a potential farther? I'm sure you would. My partner has had this done to him, and the girl is still denying it now and letting someone else bring him up as his own, even though he looks spitting image of my partner and believe me it causes more problems. So its best to get it out in the open with him and find out for sure when babys here. Don't spend your lifetime lying to your partner and child, if it comes out later, they will only resent you for it.

Yearofme Tue 21-May-13 18:57:56

There's no point in any of us posting anything, you're not listening, you're being selfish and want us to tell you what you want to hear. You made a mistake, be an adult and tell the two men involved. Your child did not ask to be born, don't start it's life on the wrong foot, it's not fair.

ladythatlunches Tue 21-May-13 18:43:21

I took the morning after pill after me and dh had a condom fail. It didn't work we have twins.

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 18:23:20

I don't think anyone can tell you 100% who the father is. So the situation won't change and this poor guy could be living a lie and bringing up a child that isn't his without knowing, which is wrong, no matter how you look at it. I personally couldn't bury my head in the sand on this or look for people who will help me do that. I wouldn't be worried about strangers judging me - I simply couldn't live with myself if I wasn't honest about this.

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 18:16:37

Well get prepared for them all to repeat that you need to tell him. They will tell you this because stress increases blood pressure which is harmful.

One of the medical people might accidently tell him.

Your mate might say fuck you, I'm telling him, I have morals, and tell him.

The ons might start asking questions.

You cannot decide in your own time. You have to give the choices now. How is it fair for him to bond with a bump and eventually a child that is not his? That is a nasty thing to do.

These ladies are not judging you- they are helping you!

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 18:04:52

Ok. Well i shall remove my self from here now av seen what people have said i now will get on with my life and speak to my gp midwifes n get advice from people hu will not judge me

LouiseD29 Tue 21-May-13 17:58:51

Just to weigh in - I once got pg after taking the morning after pill (broken condom). They are really not that reliable - and I took it absolutely according to the instructions.

Anthracite Tue 21-May-13 17:51:22

You are using the MAP as contraception???

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 17:46:48

Well said ihearsounds

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 17:46:09

I think it's obvious what the right decision is. I think you need to be straight about this, it's too major to be deceitful about and the dates aren't far enough apart for you to be sure either way.

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 17:44:09

FFs. A chance is still a chance..How is that so hard to understand?

Have you read nothing on here?

Have you taken in nothing about how dating scans are wrong, posts from people who have had countless dating scans that were incorrect?

You came, you asked for help. People have given you plenty of advice - tell your partner, yet you are choosing to ignore this... All you want to hear is yea, fuck it, let some poor sod think he is a dad when in reality there is a chance that he isn't. As long as you are happy, that's all that matter right?

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:42:21

Also i asked people hu they might think the dad is not what i should do other wise i would of put. What should i do ? ! I will decide in my own time what to do !!!!! And make the ryt decisions in time

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:39:29

Yes but people are acting like its the ons when there is a small chance and the dates dont even match

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 17:37:14

The fact that you took the map means nothing. It is less than 90% effective. It does not protect against sti's. It does not guarantee paternity..

However, you have obviously made up your mind. So carry on and potentially screw up a lot of peoples lifes.

Are you really that dense to think the ons isn't going to ask questions?

Grow some balls. Act like an adult. Take responsibility and tell your partner...

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:30:17

Also the fact i took morning after pill aswell with the other guy its obv i was already pregnant when that happend

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:28:42

Yea thats what its showing around the 19 th x

Mintyy Tue 21-May-13 17:25:39

That's interesting that you can get dating scans on request now.

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 17:24:52

Dear me. Without meaning to sound rude, I think you need to read up on conception. You have already said in your first post that your last period was 4th march, you did not conceive on 5th march.
I have tried to explain it to you but you don't seem to be understanding me. Go back to your gp and ask them to explain how ovulation and conception works

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