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Help who may the dad be

(133 Posts)
leigh1991 Sat 27-Apr-13 11:36:35

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and i made a stupid mistake drunk and had a 1 night stand early hours on the 27 th march this year i found out this month april 11th i was 3+ weeks pregnant so am not sure hu the dad is if i was pregnant to the one night stand shouldn't the test say 2 weeks as 27 th to the 11 april is not more than 3 weeks plus i did take the morning after pill the day after i had a one night stand on the 28 th of march , but i still not 100 percent its just crazy how all year av been with my fella and march i get pregnant and had a one night stand , i calculated my last period which was the 4 th march so i used a due date calculator and it showed days where i was fertile and he day i may of conceived and it showed dates before the 27 th (one night stand) It said i conceived around the 18 th so i may already of been pregnant before the 27 th i am so scares and worried but when i took the clear blue the test said i was to far gone for it to have been the 27 th march ?????

alwayslateforwork Sun 28-Apr-13 23:51:47

Scans won't tell you the date of conception. They can have a guess just like sticking your sticking your wet finger up in the air to see which way the wind is blowing at any given minute though.

And I speak as someone who was given multiple dates from scans throughout pg, and then given an ELCS for a giant baby expected to be 10lb 9oz.

She was 8lb 6oz. Do I trust the scientific accuracy of any scan?

Do I feck.

A DNA test is the only way she will know for sure.

differentnameforthis Tue 30-Apr-13 05:37:07

Sometimes, keeping quiet is for the best I think, especially if it was a one off and lesson learnt

Perhaps if the op wasn't pregnant, that could work. But you cannot live that lie when a baby is involved.

My friend recently found out her father isn't her biological father. He has raised her (she was 20 when she found out) since she was 6, single handed along side her (younger - also not his - they used sperm donor as he was unable to have children) siblings. The mother died when the youngest was barely out of nappies. He raised them & didn't have the heart to tell them that he wasn't their dad. I will not tell you how she reacted when she found out. She has been sworn to secrecy as the others don't know, but she has made peace with it as he is a terrific father.

DO NOT rely on dating scans. I had to have one before a termination & I know exactly the time when I conceived (I was recovering from a section, so only had sex once before I got the BFP) but the dating scan put me 2 weeks behind. So, I should have been 9 & the scan said 7. So it isn't at all accurate.

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 16:57:37

I went for my scan on the 3rd may and it said i was 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant so wen i counted back it went well past the 27 th and took me to the 5 th march and am due december 10 th

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 17:03:15

Ok. So you're most likely to have concieved around the 19th of march give or take a couple of days.

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:04:17

I arranged the scan and it said i was 8 weeks and 3days on the 3rd of may which took me back tothe 5 th march so its showing its more for my bf z

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 17:09:59

Yes. Your period was on 4th march, that is what they class as day 1, even though you haven't actually conceived yet. The way they date you on scans is fetal size in weeks from last period, not fetal size from conception. It's hard for me to explain the exact measurements they use but for example, my lmp was 12 October, which puts me at 31 weeks and 4 days, and my scans also put me at 31 weeks 4 days, date of conception being approximately 29 weeks and 4 days ago, make sense?

Yearofme Tue 21-May-13 17:18:17

Scan shows 8 weeks 3 days

You conceived 6 weeks and 3 days before that.

So ovulation 19th of march and you got pregnant a day or two either side of this so between 17th march - 21st.

Scans/midwifes and doctors date your pregnancy from the first day of your last period, not the day you ovulated then conceived, so you always need to take 2 weeks off your 'weeks pregnant' to see when you actually conceived.

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:21:19

I did and it said on 3rd of may the baby was 8 weeks and 3 days old whitch showed the 5 th march x

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 17:24:52

Dear me. Without meaning to sound rude, I think you need to read up on conception. You have already said in your first post that your last period was 4th march, you did not conceive on 5th march.
I have tried to explain it to you but you don't seem to be understanding me. Go back to your gp and ask them to explain how ovulation and conception works

Mintyy Tue 21-May-13 17:25:39

That's interesting that you can get dating scans on request now.

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:28:42

Yea thats what its showing around the 19 th x

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:30:17

Also the fact i took morning after pill aswell with the other guy its obv i was already pregnant when that happend

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 17:37:14

The fact that you took the map means nothing. It is less than 90% effective. It does not protect against sti's. It does not guarantee paternity..

However, you have obviously made up your mind. So carry on and potentially screw up a lot of peoples lifes.

Are you really that dense to think the ons isn't going to ask questions?

Grow some balls. Act like an adult. Take responsibility and tell your partner...

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:39:29

Yes but people are acting like its the ons when there is a small chance and the dates dont even match

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 17:42:21

Also i asked people hu they might think the dad is not what i should do other wise i would of put. What should i do ? ! I will decide in my own time what to do !!!!! And make the ryt decisions in time

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 17:44:09

FFs. A chance is still a chance..How is that so hard to understand?

Have you read nothing on here?

Have you taken in nothing about how dating scans are wrong, posts from people who have had countless dating scans that were incorrect?

You came, you asked for help. People have given you plenty of advice - tell your partner, yet you are choosing to ignore this... All you want to hear is yea, fuck it, let some poor sod think he is a dad when in reality there is a chance that he isn't. As long as you are happy, that's all that matter right?

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 17:46:09

I think it's obvious what the right decision is. I think you need to be straight about this, it's too major to be deceitful about and the dates aren't far enough apart for you to be sure either way.

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 17:46:48

Well said ihearsounds

Anthracite Tue 21-May-13 17:51:22

You are using the MAP as contraception???

LouiseD29 Tue 21-May-13 17:58:51

Just to weigh in - I once got pg after taking the morning after pill (broken condom). They are really not that reliable - and I took it absolutely according to the instructions.

leigh1991 Tue 21-May-13 18:04:52

Ok. Well i shall remove my self from here now av seen what people have said i now will get on with my life and speak to my gp midwifes n get advice from people hu will not judge me

These ladies are not judging you- they are helping you!

ihearsounds Tue 21-May-13 18:16:37

Well get prepared for them all to repeat that you need to tell him. They will tell you this because stress increases blood pressure which is harmful.

One of the medical people might accidently tell him.

Your mate might say fuck you, I'm telling him, I have morals, and tell him.

The ons might start asking questions.

You cannot decide in your own time. You have to give the choices now. How is it fair for him to bond with a bump and eventually a child that is not his? That is a nasty thing to do.

Alexandra6 Tue 21-May-13 18:23:20

I don't think anyone can tell you 100% who the father is. So the situation won't change and this poor guy could be living a lie and bringing up a child that isn't his without knowing, which is wrong, no matter how you look at it. I personally couldn't bury my head in the sand on this or look for people who will help me do that. I wouldn't be worried about strangers judging me - I simply couldn't live with myself if I wasn't honest about this.

ladythatlunches Tue 21-May-13 18:43:21

I took the morning after pill after me and dh had a condom fail. It didn't work we have twins.

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