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Its a girl!- bugger

(247 Posts)
HotPie Fri 26-Apr-13 15:14:59

So I am 19 weeks gone with baby number one and just found out its a girl. The baby in my head was a boy. We were going to play lego and climb trees and get muddy together.

I thought at first it would be ok, after all its up to me and my partner how we raise her, but friends with girls have said I may not be able to avoid the pink princess stage, my mother in law is intent on dolls and frills and the other "mothers of girls" are drving me crazy with talk of "cuteness"

I have no interest in "sweet little outfits" or those flowery headbands (how weird are they) or playing with dolls and I dispise the kind of girl who plays "dressing up as princesses" just as much as I did when I was a little girl too. I am so scared I am going to get a pink loving girl and that I will dislike my daughter.

I feel like a terrible person, I know how lucky we are to have a ( hopefully) healthy child on the way. Please someone tell me about their mud loving daughter.

Your child, whichever sex it is, will be an individual and is not there to conform to your expectations. Please stop projecting your idea of what your child will be and get excited about getting to know her as the unique person she will be.
Plus, honestly, you will love her just as much as you would have loved a boy. It's biology, innit.

SmellsLikeWeenSpirits Fri 26-Apr-13 15:47:32

My 3 year old DS is going through the pink frills phase. He also likes mud and trees.

my dds are in the garden collecting worms right now.

insanityscratching Fri 26-Apr-13 15:51:59

I felt just like you, dd never wore pink.......until she learned her colours and then she demanded pink and because I loved her it didn't matter anyway. Now she is twenty, no longer mad about pink but really girly and totally unlike me and I love her anyway. Younger dd however favours jeans and Mario hoodies. I was so much more relaxed about her having pink this time and yet she has never wanted it.

shelley72 Fri 26-Apr-13 15:55:12

we have a girl (DC2) and she is in no way cute or princessy in the way that you describe. she is nearly three and does have particular preferences as to what she wears but i can assure you this does not involve anything pink or frilly! last night it was her brothers pjs (he's 5).

she loves duplo (and lego now that DS has it), fireman sam, riding her scooter, climbing and general running about. i would say that DS fits much more of a traditional 'girl' stereotype than she does.

enjoy your baby smile.

ivykaty44 Fri 26-Apr-13 15:56:05

my dd 15 will blow snot out of her nose just as well as the boys, ( I amy well think it is vile but the boys don't) is that what you want me to tell you? Or that she works hard at school or that she can take a bike apart bit by bit and replace the chain the inner tubes and the tyres as well - and I have no inclination to do any of that.

Or do you want me to tell you that she is her own person with her own thoughts and a determination that will hopefully bring her happiness?

She loved grease the film and would watch it over and over again, she loves swimming and I have photos of her up trees - but the photo show a pink top underneath her striped one - is that bad?

thebeastandbeauty Fri 26-Apr-13 15:57:24

I've got two girls, they're both completely different from each other.

One of them loves pink, princesses and dressing up.

Nice to know you dispise (sic) her.

Get a grip.

HootShoot Fri 26-Apr-13 16:02:04

I'm quite surprised you say you despise little girls who want to dress up as a princess. That's a bit extreme isn't it? You can't mould your children, she may be more at home climbing trees or playing with dolls but you'll love her either way. Well, hopefully, if you can get over some of your negative associations. Rather than seeking out stories of other mud loving girls you would be better putting your gender preconceptions to one side and treating your child as an individual.

AThingInYourLife Fri 26-Apr-13 16:03:51

"We were going to play lego and climb trees and get muddy together."

confused

You can do that with any child.

Maybe you should examine your sexist assumptions before she is born.

I'm sick today and DH is downstairs with our 3 girls. There is Lego all over the floor of the living room. DD1 (5) is just back from football. Her team won today because they have the best player, another 5 year old called Emily.

She also wears dresses loves the Disney Princess pencils she got as a prize for completing a 3 mile walk with Rainbows last weekend.

She's the best climber that frequents our local park - really strong, wiry and light.

She likes to play with my shoes.

She's an individual, just like your daughter will be.

I get your horror of the pink princess thing, but this will be your child.

I remember a nerdy friend of mind telling me how he was afraid to be the father of a boy because he didn't know anything about sport or "men's things".

I laughed and said, "but this will be your son. He's more likely to end up doing really hard jigsaws and sums for fun."

TrixieLox Fri 26-Apr-13 16:03:59

I hate pink, and rant and rave to anyone who'll listen at the complete lack of choice for the little girl in my belly. Walked into Next today and ALL the newborn baby stuff at the back was pink (sure, they have other colours but the actual newborn 'everything to get your baby started on its journey' stuff was a sickening pink).

I'm scared society is going to force her down the pink sparkly road cos that's all there seems to be for little girls - not just in shops but on TV (Peppa bloody Pig), toys plus all those mums that deck their baby girls out in pink, pink, pink, I even saw a pink pram the other day, barf. Maybe she's gonna see all that around her and naturally follow the herd cos that's what kids tend to do?

But you know what? If she does, so bloody what? I will never ever 'dislike' my daughter cos of something like that (for anything really). Odd thing for you to say by the way, presume you didn't reallllly mean that, that you were just kinda being flippant?

I mean, are you really saying if your girl ends up very girly, you'll dislike her? Odd! We don't live in the Victorian ages, you shouldn't FORCE her into the cookie cutter image you want her to be. She needs to follow her own path, remember, without fear you'll 'dislike' her for it?!

HotPie Fri 26-Apr-13 16:04:10

I appologise for the spelling error. I have no excuse.

TheSecondComing Fri 26-Apr-13 16:07:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElectricSheep Fri 26-Apr-13 16:09:12

My DD insisted she was a boy until she went to school.... whereas my DS loved pink sparkly wellies, having his hair done and playing with his dolls house farm house.

Don't get bogged down in gender stereotypes OP... she'll be your special little sprog whatever she's like!

badguider Fri 26-Apr-13 16:10:38

I'm an outdoorsy, mountain biking, martial arts practicing woman who grew up on camping and lego.

I've just discovered I'm having a boy and do you know what? It will be JUST as hard for me if he's not into biking or camping or walking and nature and doesn't want to share any of them with me.

I think we all worry that our children will be too different from us, that we won't understand them and won't share any interests... regardless of gender.

noblegiraffe Fri 26-Apr-13 16:11:20

Clothes don't define a person, neither does their sex.

ArtexMonkey Fri 26-Apr-13 16:11:39

Oh fgs

Really?

I know it's the done thing to come on these threads and brag about what a muddy tree climbing ass whupp

YoniYoniNameLeft Fri 26-Apr-13 16:12:01

My DDs love Lego, climbing trees and mud.

They also like pink (it's just a colour FGS, my nephew likes it too, he's 14 and wears neon pink laces in his high tops to match his neon pink shirt), glitter. DD1 likes Disney Princess but she prefers Toy story and Spongebob Squarepants.

ivykaty44 Fri 26-Apr-13 16:12:02

Not everything is pink - there are many many blue baby clothes out there, along with cream and brown and green

I have never ever seen a boy baby dressed for 12 months in pink - so sorry but you are not telling the truth....

Mintyy Fri 26-Apr-13 16:12:43

I think if they do think like this in real life they should refrain from becoming parents, TSC!

Op - I also find what you have written offensive, and not just on behalf of girls. If you don't understand that your child is going to be his or her own person and may not even look like you, let alone have the hobbies and interests you want them to have, then you are starting off on the road to parenthood on entirely the wrong foot. Imvho.

AThingInYourLife Fri 26-Apr-13 16:13:00

"I'm scared society is going to force her down the pink sparkly road cos that's all there seems to be for little girls - not just in shops but on TV (Peppa bloody Pig)"

Peppa Pig is pink because she's a pig.

It's also one of the best children's programmes on TV - really funny and well acted.

It's not for girls or boys, children if both genders like it equally IME.

Just because something is pink doesn't mean it is shit.

thebeastandbeauty Fri 26-Apr-13 16:15:19

I agree, mintyy.

I can't get over why you'd have children if you were only prepared to have one 'version' of them.

Really? I mean, really?

Poor kids if their parent's think like this - it's just sets them up to be a disappointment.

Hopefully once you're a mother, OP, you'll be able to love your child unconditionally.

Fingers crossed.

YoniYoniNameLeft Fri 26-Apr-13 16:15:37

A little boy, I used to look after, loved Peppa Pig!

piprabbit Fri 26-Apr-13 16:15:43

Over 30 replies and the OP finally reappears to apologise for a spelling mistake nobody has mentioned? Really hmm?

ArtexMonkey Fri 26-Apr-13 16:16:04

Ing tomboy one's dd is, and believe me i could if i wanted, but fgs.

Like mintyy and others said, children are individuals, and although i'm not keen on the whole pink princess thing and the way girls are socialised towards it, i'm not going to sit around and diss so called 'girly' stuff as inferior to the rugged beano reading knee scraping bogey flicking exploits of tomboys and 'typical' boys because i think society gives us quite enough messages about how the pursuits of women/girls are daft and trivial whereas the pursuits of men/boys are precious and valuable as it is.

HotPie Fri 26-Apr-13 16:18:35

Thanks for the comments. I got into a bit of a panic. The word despise is a bit strong, I really meant bored. I don't like girly women, I never have. I zone out when they start talking about shoes and spray tans ;-). I have female friends but they are not the kind of women who scream at the sight of a mouse or are incapable of doing their own DIY. I am not concerned about not loving her, I am concerned about not liking her. I suppose I suddenly had visions of having a child I had absolutely nothing in common with. Silly really

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