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Anyone else thinking how to manage with a toddler/preschooler and newborn after a c-section?

(3 Posts)
moremintsliceplease Sat 20-Apr-13 15:29:47

I am having a second c-section in the next week. I've got a 2.9 year old who has completely been my PFB wink and is very cuddly and snuggly and used to having virtually my complete attention (have been SAHM since he was born).

Starting to panic a bit about how we will manage with me being away in hospital for a few days, not being able to pick him up when I'm back etc even though I can pick up the baby, plus if this baby is anything like him it will be breastfeeding/asleep on me for virtually 24 hours a day...

I was hoping to be able to have a VBAC to avoid a few of the above issues, but that's no longer a possibility.

Any tips or suggestions others have thought of that might help? I think reading together on the sofa while breastfeeding is only going to get us so far, and he's not really a fan of TV, despite my best efforts!

Also worrying about jealousy, he gets v.upset if I hold a newborn at playgroup for example, though is very excited about his younger brother or sister arriving and talks to the baby in my tummy etc - he's very verbal so it's been easy to talk to him about everything but a baby coming out of my tummy is a pretty abstract concept so I'm sure the reality will be a massive shock to him!

DH, who is massively involved and helpful and supportive and who DS of course adores, will be home for the first few weeks so that will be brilliant, but I think it will still be hard.

PseudoBadger Sat 20-Apr-13 16:01:08

Snap! I can't post right now but will be back

shelley72 Sat 20-Apr-13 16:16:53

ok. i had an ELCS for DD when my DS was 2.9. i do remember having the same panics as you. as it was - i was in hospital overnight. he was at nursery whilst i had DD, my mother collected him and brought him in to see me as soon as he had been fed. he stayed until 9.30ish and then was back in first thing next morning with daddy. i dont think he missed me at all!!!

practically get all the help you can for the first couple of weeks, and your DH being at home will be a huge help. at 2.9 your DS is old enough for you not to need to pick him up - he can climb on sofa to snuggle you and he will understand that mummy has a poorly tummy. DD also fed like a fiend for 2.5 years. we had books, puzzles, colouring, DVDs (he liked/likes dinosaurs so a box set kept us going) or sometimes just snuggled up. i just made sure that when DD wasnt feeding (which tbh was rare) that daddy had her and i had time with DS. they both still need you, just in different ways.

we also made sure that we had trips out to local farm etc just so that he could burn off some energy and so that we had family time esp when DH was at home so that he could drive! it isnt necessarily the 6 weeks of hell that people describe.

i was very worried about sibling jealousy but he adored (and still does --despite the constant bickering--) his baby sister. they are very close - snuggled up in mybed together as i type!

honestly you will be fine. it cant be that bad - 10 weeks and im doing it all again. now im worrying about how im going to manage a 5yo, 3 yo AND a baby grin

good luck and enjoy those snuggles!

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