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Young mums-to-be?

(31 Posts)
Dittle Fri 19-Apr-13 16:48:26

Hey smile

I'm just new to this so bear with me :P

I was just wondering if there are any young mums-to-be on mumsnet? I'm 18 and recently found out that I'm two months pregnant and I would like to chat to other people in a similar situation.

So... yeah, that's all I have to say. smile

DaleyBump Mon 02-Sep-13 02:53:42

*guy

DaleyBump Mon 02-Sep-13 01:57:21

Hi smile I'm 18 and expecting my little boy in November (27+2) so just a day behind you chillisbopper! Funnily enough, DP and I were planning our wedding before I fell pregnant and it's kind of gone by the wayside now. We've been together for 4 years now and I was so looking forward to getting married but we'll just do it when the wee one is a little bit older smile I'm having visions of my little buy as a page boy in a kilt and it's making me all teary hormonal? Not me, oh no. Congratulations to all of you smile

MultipleMama Mon 02-Sep-13 01:49:22

Chilli - I married young too, I was 19. My mum had me when she was 20 and my dad was 21 so they were always supportive and the fact that DH and I were together and planned to be traditional and get married (even those ds1 was born first!).

I have over 30 scan photos due to constant scans and monitoring. Also have a 3D scan and video. They're in the twins memory book. It's crazy and all too real when they start to get facial features!

Most comments came from seeing a pregnant teenager and older man (DH is only 6 years older) to them he was "grooming" me, laugh about it now after 7 years together I think those people got the hint!

Good luck in the rest of your PG smile

chillisbopper Mon 02-Sep-13 01:08:24

Hi smile

Congratulations thanks the 12 week scan is so wonderful I couldn't believe how 'human' our boy looked so young! 20 week scan was great to compare his growth and see things in better detail. I had to have additional scanning so I now have 7 lovely photos and got another scan in a couple of weeks! I love them I find them so reassuring and I get so excited seeing him grin

I'm 21 and 27+3 with our first, a boy grin. Due in late November just after my 22nd birthday (october) and DH's 30th (early November). It's going to be such a nice Christmas!! smile

I have a large family and one of my sisters had a baby when she was 17, another 2 were 22 when they had their firsts. So I've not had any of the "you're too young" comments thankfully. But I did feel so awkward buying the pregnancy tests, I had DH go to the till the first ones and when I wanted more to confirm I payed left handed so my wedding ring was showing incase anybody decided to say anything lol. I've had a fair few "how will you afford a baby" comments but my husband works long hard hours so we are doing okay I'm not too concerned thankfully smile.

But I know what you mean when people judge by age. When I went back to college at 19 I was engaged and we had to do that usual intro stuff "say something interesting about yourself" kinda thing, I literally had nothing else to say except that I was getting married in 5 months, at that time I was kinda one track minded...my tutor turned around and said "why?!" in such a disapproving manner I was so annoyed! I was 20 when we got married in February 2012. Sooo many people also thought it must be because I was pregnant as I was "so young!". I just think age is a state of mind, just because you're young doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother or wife or that you're not ready for it.

Incidentally I am returning to university to do law in October just before I'm due! So that should be fun grin. My mum had her first at 17 and by 26 she was a single mother with 6 children aged between 8.5 and new born (that sounds bad but her partner - oldest 3s dad died and my dad her husband left for mrs.next door when I was a baby) anyway she got her phd while working to support us all on her own, I always think if she could do it anybody can smile

Hi smile. Im 20 and 27weeks pregnant. Due 2nd.december!! smile having a little girl. Wasnt a planned baby but we're very excited! smile

Bloob Sun 01-Sep-13 22:48:01

Hello!

I've never really been on a thread like this before but I can't tell anyone else I'm pregnant yet and I'm excited! - I'm only 5 weeks smile

This is my third dc. I have dd who is 4.1 and ds who is 14 months. I think I may have lost my mind grin

Oh and I'm 23. I found age to be an issue when I had dd as I lived in a really unfriendly area. It was awful. I was so lonely.
Now however, I have a great group of (mostly older tbh) friends and its a total non-issue. You do get a lot of narrow minded people, but to be honest, if it wasn't age they were judging you on, it would be something else.

2ndtymmummy2b Sun 01-Sep-13 13:34:01

Hi all,

I'm 24 in two weeks and 38 weeks pregnant with my 2nd :D

I was 18 when I fell with my 1st bundle of joy, and had everything sinical and snotty said to me under the sun!

I didn't take any comment personally as I knew what I wanted and that I would be a good mother, I also worked and went to college whilst being a full time parent at a young age, and I did it with everyone telling me I couldn't all because of my age!

Now I am pregnant with my second people keep asking If I will cope and my answer is always the same

A mothers love for their children is unconditional and I would do anything for them so YES! I will cope perfectly fine thankyou smile

Sorry rant over

Hope everyones pregnancies go well thanks

MultipleMama Sun 01-Sep-13 13:26:02

Hey smile

I was 18 when I had my first born but 17 when I got pregnant. I'm now 23 and PG with #5 & #6.

I had every name thrown at me for being a teen mama and was labelled by midwifed and "supposed" friends as another government satistic. Why is totally hurtful especially when they haven't a clue of what you're going through or how hurtful their words are.

My son (firstborn) was planned - as in we weren't using condoms (our only birth control) and if it happens, it happens. And it did.

I'm married to the father of all my DC and we're doing great, I worked during my PG and have continued work (except from year off with every DC birth), I now work from home to raise them and earn a living. It's a big middle finger to those people who judge young mums on age not by their actions. Age has nothing to do with being a good mum. Their our babies not a figure on someone's stupid poll.

Wow, I'm hormonal today!

Stom91 Sun 01-Sep-13 11:38:03

Oh and everything we have brought so far for baby has all been good quality second hand... No way I'm paying £140 for a cot bed.. Got one second hand for £40 bargain.
The most expensive thing we bought was the 9 in 1 mummas and puppas pram etc £1000 got it for £300!

MamaTo3Boys Sun 01-Sep-13 11:37:21

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first. Just turned 19 when I had him.

Then I was 21 when I had my second

And 25 when I had my third. smile

I'm now 26 with a 7yo, 4yo and 8mo

I love being a young mum! It rocks! grin

Stom91 Sun 01-Sep-13 11:33:32

Im 21.. Be 22 when dd is here.. due 21st December smile

When I spoke to my midwife when in was worried. As I thought I was too young to be a mum she said that she find that younger people cope with pregnancy and labour alot better than older people smile

Like someone said we will all have our life back in 16 years or so and we will still be young enough to do what we want smile

My Dr did ask me 'and where's the father!?' I said ' well at the moment he's at work but we are a couple and we do live together if that's what you're implying' bloody cheek!

beth27123 Sun 01-Sep-13 11:16:38

Im 18 due in December, first little girl! There's been some strange comments from people:
"Oh well....these things happen I suppose"
Yes they do, and my very much wanted baby did happen by some miracle.

Samantha95 Sun 01-Sep-13 10:49:03

I'm 18 and due my first in November smile

Dittle Sun 21-Apr-13 17:16:55

Agree totally Sylvia! smile

syl1985 Sat 20-Apr-13 00:50:52

I'm a so called young mother too.
I love being a mother. I don't care about age. 40 or 16 that doesn't matter. What does matter is that you're a good parent.

I remember being 20 and pregnant with my first child. I've always looked younger then I really am. Also something that I love.

But people even asked me if it was an accident. People judged me on how old they thought that I was.
People looking at me, staring and someone told me she thought I was to young to be a mother when I was pregnant.

People totally don't understand how insensitive they are. How stupid it's to look down at someone, just because of their age.

In human history we ladies have been getting married around the age of 15 and between that and the age of 20 we got our first child.

At that time people treated you badly if you were an unmarried mother.

In the past it was the church that made people treat each other so badly. Now it's the media that makes people believe that a teenage mum can't be a good mum.

Or your life is over when you become a young parent!??!?!
Why?
Or not being able to pay for the child.
Does a baby need to have a bedroom full of the most expensive stuff?

My husband is 15 years older then me. He never got any of those comments.

Even some friends I had thought he was the one doing the house and taking care of the child, because how was I able to do that at my age?

As you can imagine these are now my ex friends. Never see them anymore!
My husband worked full time.
So who did clean the house, looked after the baby and everything? That was me afcourse!!! Idiots.

I was a stay at home mum. Something we both decided. We rather had less money and one of us staying with the baby then more money, both working and someone else looking after our child.

Some people thought that I was lazy, because I was a stay at home mum?
Sooo annoying!!!

We believe that every parent must make their own choices and ours was that I stayed at home. But if someone else thinks it's better to work and have more money.
I would never judge them. Nothing wrong with either way, but why can't these people respect our choice?

How stupid can they be to judge someone else, simply because they aren't like them?

We wanted to have a second child quickly after the first one. We're happy that after a year I was pregnant again.
One of my friends said to me:

Again? Don't you know how to use a condom?
That was another friend I said goodbye to.

Not much later she called me.
She got pregnant by accident with her boyfriend!!!

I was supportive to her. I'm not the kind of person who would be horrible to someone, because that person was horrible to me.
But in my mind I thought:
Justice!!!!
Don't you know how to use a condom, bitch!

Every parent needs a thick skin, because of all the comments that we get. But especially when you look younger you do need an extra thick skin.

The problem is with these idiots and not with us ladies! Judge a parent on their parenting skills and not on their age, wealth, what they're or how they look.

Sylvia

HappyGoLuckyGirl Fri 19-Apr-13 23:07:55

Oo, another young one here! I've just turned 22 and I'm 32+3 so down to single figures!

I work full time as an assistant building surveyor and I also attend uni doing a surveying degree one day a week.

I'm deferring for a year and taking 12 months maternity too, I actually can't wait.

Had a few judgemental looks because I do look quite young but no one has said anything to me.

Exciting times grin

YummyMummy17 Fri 19-Apr-13 22:12:23

I was pregnant at 16 with my first boy, got my own house etc, I had him at 17 split up from his dad soon after he was born and done it all myself I left college and uni to do it and could not be happier, I have a great career as a consultant at 21 and I am 11+5 with my second child, my partner and i are very excited! my first will be 4years old later in the year and I have always had speculation, even when I take him to nursery now I get weird looks ha can't wait until they see my bump!!! wink

Young mums are no different from older mums and by the time I'm 30 I will have my life back to myself more or less while my old school mates will be just starting their family...

Hope you girls have excellent pregnancies and if you have any questions please ask I love being a young mum and have so much respect for you all! grinthanksthanks

Congratulations! Im 18 but will be 19 when dd gets here smile i find its only strangers who make comments, all my friends and family are very supportive smile
The main thing that we found - which bothered my mum more than me - was people saying 'oh my god how did you react to THAT?!' And shes just like 'er how would you react to becoming a nana?! I was happy!' Xx

beckie90 Fri 19-Apr-13 21:11:43

Congratulations smile I was 17 when I fell with ny first child, I looked really young for my age so got sniggers n stares and comments but just ignore all that smile I'm now 22 and 24wk pregnant with my 3rd little boy. Good luck with everything and welcome to the site, you will get plenty of support on here xxx

Dittle Fri 19-Apr-13 19:34:58

It's so nice to know I'm not the only one going to attempt a degree with a baby smile

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Fri 19-Apr-13 18:38:10

I had my DD when I was 20 and have done a degree alongside having her. People tell you can't, but you can. I've also been a single parent for my final year, so you can do it if you put your mind to it smile

PhieEl06 Fri 19-Apr-13 18:35:03

Hi, I'll be 19 in June, 27 weeks PG tomorrow, first baby (a girl) with my boyfriend who's 22. I've had all the comments & dirty looks under the sun, working full time at the moment but planning to go to uni in September 2014 to study to become a midwife. smile

Dittle Fri 19-Apr-13 18:19:44

Also, congratulations :D do you know what you're having? smile

Dittle Fri 19-Apr-13 18:19:21

Oh my god! That's exactly like me! I'm going to uni three days a week, starting September and my boyfriend goes to the same uni for three days too but we can't really work out childcare yet because we don't know my days and he works part time when he's not at uni but wow! What course are you doing? smile I'm studying to be a nurse and I'll have placements away from home which I'm worrying about with regards to childcare but we'll work something out smile

Katie4realzzz Fri 19-Apr-13 18:16:11

I'm 18 and due in 2 days! I had the exact same thing at college, but I've been accepted to go to university in September and I can't wait to start! The thing people don't seem to realize is that the degree that I want to do is only three days a week for three hours! grin They ask 'who's going to look after the baby?' When they know me well enough to know that I have a boyfriend who is already in university who also attends just three days a week on different days to what I will be doing! Sorry for the rant but it really frustrates me that people think I will not cope with university which is soooo much less hours than people who go back to full time jobs and cope!

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