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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Waiting for labour - feeling very sad

26 replies

glossyflower · 11/04/2013 15:01

I'm 38+3 and my DF is in a hospital 50 miles away.
I have been visiting with my mum but its a long day, plus the visiting is restricted at the moment due to norovirus affecting the hospital. So it's 3-5pm then 7-8pm so there's a two hour waiting around the hospital gap.
I'm feeling very sad because I know my DF is getting depressed at being so ill for so long (leukaemia - had a bone marrow transplant a year exactly today) and for the first time the other day he said he thinks it has finally beaten him
This will be first grandchild and have been getting lower back aches and cramps but I feel I just want baby to come out now to hopefully give my dad the motivation he needs to stay positive.
I've been trying to do all the home remedy things to bring on labour, but getting fed up nothing's happening.

I'm happy about the baby but I just am feeling so emotional at the moment and guilty I can't support my parents as much as I want to.

OP posts:

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TerrariaMum · 11/04/2013 15:04

I don't have any useful advice to offer, but I can give unMNetty hugs (although I see them given so often, I think they are more MNetty than we like to admit) and commiserate with wanting baby out. I'm 38+1 with DC2.

NorthernLurker · 11/04/2013 15:12

You're 38 weeks. It may be another month before baby is ready to come. I'm sure you are supporting your parents and what they will want more than anything is for you and your baby to be safe and healthy. Just try and let go a bit.

babyradio · 11/04/2013 16:09

I'm sorry this is such a difficult time and I know it's easy for me to say but do try not to stress - it won't help. I remember your name from a thread I posted some time back and both then and now you sound like you are being wonderfully supportive at what is also a difficult time for YOU - your parents would never want you to upset yourself more over this.

I hope things improve for your dad soon. Take care of yourself x

barbben · 11/04/2013 16:48

sounds like you are in a rough situation. i don't have any real advice but wanted to send you a big hug and i wish that your father will get better soon and he will get to hold his grandchild in his arms very soon.
take care

glossyflower · 12/04/2013 12:21

Thank you everybody. You've cheered me up no end.
Doctors say if bloods are ok over the next couple of days he can come home. Obviously I don't want him to come home if he's not fit but it would take the pressure off a bit as he's only 2 miles down the road as opposed to 50.
Xxx

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NorthernLurker · 12/04/2013 22:22

That would be lovely if he can get home.

steakchipsandfriedeggs · 13/04/2013 00:03

Maybe just being out of hospital will be enough to lift him a but, he must be worrying himself with the long commute that you and your mum are going through just to see him for a couple of hours. Hospitals are miserable places, I really hope he feels better being in more comfortable and familiar surroundings.

And you sound like an amazing daughter for worrying and caring so much, try not to stress yourself so much though, baby needs a happy mummy, and that will make your dad happy knowing that you are. Sending you lots of best wishes x

glossyflower · 13/04/2013 17:24

Thank you for the best wishes.
Anyone who's had to go through a serious illness knows what a roller coaster feeling it is. The doctors said the other day he could possibly come home but yesterday he became very confused and muddled again which is not like him at all.
I have not been for a few days, depending on how I feel I might go visit tomorrow but I don't feel so guilty now for not going.
You are right I need to try and look after myself for sake of the baby's and my well being.
I think things are moving along with baby, getting lots of backache and cramps so hopefully it won't be long!
Xxx

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MrsMargoLeadbetter · 13/04/2013 18:07

Sorry to hear about your DF. You sound like a great DD. Fingers crossed he is allowed go home soon.

This might be really corny/not you. But could you do a card from your bump to "Grandad" saying how he/she is looking forward to meeting him? And a pic of your bump.

Or something for him post birth "I love my grandad" bib etc.

I appreciate that he has a serious illness, but a little token might pep him up a little.

for you all.

glossyflower · 14/04/2013 22:24

I didn't know you could get cards from bump. That would be nice. Although he's taken a bit of turn for the worse today and I'm not sure if he'll pull through this time.
He actually said to us today, goodbye sorry for leaving us and he's going to heaven.
Never heard him say that before.
I'm going to see if I could be induced as soon as possible because I really want my dad to meet his first born grandchild.

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MrsMargoLeadbetter · 16/04/2013 10:36

Oh Glossy so sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed he can hang on.

Probably not relevant now, but not sure if you can buy cards but was thinking about using a blank card and writing in it or making one (if you are that way inclined).

Fingers crossed. Good luck with the induction.

glossyflower · 16/04/2013 14:40

Thank you.

He had a better day yesterday, more alert and not talking silly heaven stuff. The doctors are still actively treating him so they are not expecting him to die anytime soon although they are still trying to get to the bottom of things and don't know for sure why he became so unresponsive.
I decided not be induced, or to ask. If I did it still might take a day or two plus if I don't it will hopefully give my dad something more to fight his illness for.

I've seen some babygrows that says "I love grandad" so I'm going to get one of those and my dad can see baby in it (hopefully) xxx

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LemonPeculiarJones · 16/04/2013 15:06

Oh lovely. So sorry your DF isn't well. Just wanted to send some support.

You're obviously such a caring person, you'll be a lovely mum

glossyflower · 19/04/2013 14:10

Thank you lemon

Baby is due in a couple of days now, dad is very up and down but now the sister of the ward and the doctors have said they'd rather I didn't come in to visit.

It's going to be really hard not being able to see him.

I can understand why as they still don't really know why my dad is so poorly but they think it may be viral encephalitis. In itself it's not contagious but the virus that's caused it may be.

One of the common causes is toxoplasmosis which I have to be careful of. A pregnant woman may be infected with little or no symptoms but pass it onto a newborn.

Do you think I could be tested for it anyway to be sure?

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YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad · 19/04/2013 14:14

Goodness, glossy, what a bittersweet time for you. I hope that the baby comes out very soon and your dad improves. Can't imagine how you must be feeling, you must be all over the place.

((hugs))

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 19/04/2013 21:11

Glossy - worth asking your midwife/consultant re testing?

Sorry you cannot see your dad for now.

Thinking of you.

glossyflower · 08/05/2013 11:44

Just an update.
Baby Jessica was born on 25th April at 7lb 14.
As my waters had broken two days before (midwife didn't believe me!) we had to stay in for Jessica to have IV antibiotics.
We came home on the 28th, and on the 30th my dads doctors wanted to talk to us. Basically to tell us that my dad hasn't responded to the treatment, wasnt coming round after being sedated and ventilated and they were stopping all treatment and just letting him go.
Jessica, DH and my mum all stayed at the hospital with my dad, and as they were doing nothing for him and the hospital is 50 miles from where we live we asked to bring him home to die.
I'm staying at my parents with Jessica, my dad is still here, very comfortable and we are just waiting for him to let go.
Jessica is almost 2 weeks old now and I'm just glad my dad got to be a grandfather even if he hasn't woken up to see her.
Xxx

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RememberingMyPFEs · 08/05/2013 11:58

glossy I only just saw this thread and couldn't read and run.
Firstly, congrats on the birth of your DD.
So sorry to hear about your DF, it must be tough but good that you're getting time for goodbyes.
Take care of you and the LO

janey1234 · 08/05/2013 11:59

Oh glossy, I'm so sorry the treatment hasn't worked. My aunty had leukemia and I know what an awful, awful disease it is. I'm sure your Dad is aware of you all being there, including Jessica, even if he can't wake up.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all xx

BabyHMummy · 08/05/2013 13:43

glossy Congrats on her birth but i am so very sorry about your df.

Sounds silly but do.you think his hospital will let you take her in to see him? Sounds daft but he may be hanging on to meet her.

Hope you're ok hun and sensing lots of hugs Xxx

TheFalconsmistress · 08/05/2013 16:11

Sending hugs he will know dd there xxx

glossyflower · 23/08/2013 22:41

Hi everyone.
I saw this old thread and thought you might like an update.
My dad passed away on 10th May. Jessica was 15 days old.
He didn't wake up as such but he opened his eyes when he heard Jessica crying so I held her up to him and he just looked at her. I think he knew and he was waiting for her arrival so he could then go.
Still miss him loads, it's hard but Jessica is 4 months old now and keeping us together.
All the best xxx

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cupoftchai · 23/08/2013 22:47

Hi Glossyflower, I'm sorry for your loss but I'm so glad that your dad and jessica got to meet, even if he didn't really wake up, he got to be there with her. And i'm glad you got that time with him too.
look after yourselves

NoMoreMadCatLady · 23/08/2013 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SeriousStuff · 24/08/2013 01:27

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, but it must be a great comfort to you knowing he got to meet his granddaughter. Take care.

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