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Anyone else not wanting to breast feed?(52 Posts)
I am 36 weeks pregnabt with my first and I don't want to breastfeed. I have done lots of reading on the pros and cons. There isn't one specific reason why I don't want to it just doesn't appeal to me. But, as 'breast is best' I feel like I am making the wrong or a bad choice. Does anyone else not want to bf? It seems like everyone does.
Me! Like you I've done the research and I'm still keeping an open mind but if this baby is born today (38+1) then I'm formula feeding.
My main reason may sound selfish but for me it's real, I had two miscarriages straight before this pregnancy and frankly feel like I've been pregnant for the last 18 months. I need my body back.
I'll love my baby with every inch of me just not these inches. (gestures towards voluminous bosom)
You shouldn't feel pushed into it if you don't want to. It does take commitment. But I would say that if even a part of you want to give it a try then do. Even 1 feed is beneficial. If you don't try you can't go back and change your mind; if you try and don't like it you can always stop and switch to formula. Apologies if you're very sure you want to FF.
I've told my midwife I didn't plan to breast feed and she was very cool about it, didn't ask why just said in her view it was a mother's choice and that she's sure I would decide whatever was best for us as a family. She warned me I might get a bit of pressure in the hospital depending on who's on when the baby arrives but assured me most of the midwives were of the same view as her.
Do what is best for you.
I chose not to breastfeed. I have two dc and both were bottle fed, no problems, no issues. It suited me and my family.
Be prepared for some people to have a pop or whatever but you don't have to justify yourself by giving reasons. Just say because you chose not to. That's what I've done and it's been easier than getting into stupid debates about it.
Even if to don't want to establish breast feeding, if you are able to give the colstrum (you can hand express and syringe if you don't want to put your baby to the breast) it will boost their immunity and stabilise their blood sugar after birth. Medical reasons aside I really can't see why you wouldn't do this for the first 48 hours.
I have an intense hatred of breast feeding. It makes me feel physically sick, turns my stomach, my palms get sweaty etc just thinking about it. If I see a woman breast feeding I have to leave the room or I will actually throw up.
I have no idea why I react like this, but clearly I had no intention of breast feeding. When I told my midwife this she said that she absolutely would not advocate breast feeding in this situation!
My daughter is bang on the 50th percentile for weight and has been since birth. She's happy, healthy and I'm sure grateful for me not throwing up on her every feed.
All I would say is that don't make a decision for sure until baby arrives. I wasn't keen to bf but when DD1 arrived, it felt the most natural thing in the world and something I really wanted to do. If I had made up my mind, and got totally geared up to formula feed, I might not have tried or persevered with bf and that is something I would definitely regret. I had to switch to ff with DD2 for medical reasons and it is something that makes me sad every day.
I agree with HPsauce as well.
Thanks, I think I would be able to do it for first 24 hours and I will keep an open mind, it it feels natural sure ill carry on but at the moment my view is I want to bottle feed and a big concern is the hospital staff asking questions / pressurising. But ill just have to see how it goes and take it from there.
I didn't bf either of my ds. I don't regret it and they were healthy babies . It helped me bond with my ds and their Dad could feed them and take turns with the night feeding .
Mrscog a lot of women actually feel very depressed purely from expressing milk, even the colostrum. There is actually a name for it but I can't remember it (so frustrating)! It can actually lead to pnd and it a chemical imbalance so for these women (I'm one of them and suffered it with my dd who I did express colostrum for) it is simply not worth the anguish of expressing colostrum or attempting to breastfeed but I suppose it's one of those things you wouldn't necessarily know how you'd react until faced with the situation.
There was no pressure from anyone . It is your body and your baby . Just tell them you have made your decision and you will not discuss it.
Op do what feels best and don't be force into anything- but I will say that all through pregnancy I was sure that I wouldn't breast feed the whole idea seemed weird to me. I had a chat with my mw who was fab and agreed that if it didn't seem right not to do it, same with the antenatal classses I was doing but around month 8 I started thinking maybe I'll give it a go for a couple of weeks and then stop,
My dd is 10 weeks and I'm EBF her- it didn't feel weird at all the first time- in fact I said to my oh 'its weird but this doesn't feel weird!' And to be honest I think I have an easier time of it that those ff bottles/sterilising seems hard work.
Again don't feel forced into anything but you might be surprised how comfortable and easy bf is
I would put it in your birth plan and make sure your birth partner knows too.
But I would try the colostrum - it is good stuff. I probably wouldn't express though - it's hard enough let alone immediate post childbirth!
I do feel sad when people decide not to bf - that's my issue though. Mainly because my two were intolerant to dairy so worry that some babies might not do well on ff (I remember a baby in the bed next to me who threw up every feed from day 1, she was ff).
I would still try and give the colostrum if you can. It will boost your babysimmune system. You can ff after that. At least you will be keeping your options open.
I believe that every baby should be given colostrum if possible. I say that as someone who intended to ff but ended up bfing for 18 months after giving DD colostrum.
I would do it at least for the first couple of days, to give the baby the best protection you can.
After that, if you do keep an open mind you will probably not like it and stop, OK.
It took me about 8 weeks to like it and after that, really, I never understood why people wanted to fuss with getting up in the middle of the night, prepare bottles, strilise them and think of all the stuff you have to haul around with you when you go out.
But its your choice.
Ahh that's what I meant.
I never found bottle feeding a faff. Department of health says you can make bottles in advance as long as you use just boiled water (needs to be hot.enough to kill bacteria in the milk powder) and then quickly cool them in a sink full of water and them put them in the fridge. When you need one you can warm in the microwave for 20-30 seconds till room temp and then swirl throughrally to ensure no hot spots.
If you're going out you can now buy ready to use bottles of sma with screw on sterile teats. Easy.
I really don't want to breastfeed! Can't put my finger on the exact reason why though and I wonder if I'm being selfish .. But I think baby needs a happy stress free mummy, so do whatever you're most comfortable with!
I've had a few looks when discussing it with family/friends .. But it's your baby so don't feel pressured into anything.
I only bottle fed DD1 and she is perfectly healthy and never had any problems. Meant I could get into a routine quicker and DH could help with feeding to. I was the same had a Mmc just before I fell pregnant and it does feel like your pregnant forever. I'm 35 weeks now and plan to just bottle feed again.
My health visitor was quite judgemental but the midwives were really supportive.
Fairylea - that's exactly whay I mean! Seems a lot of fuss and expense. I only had to start fussing after about 6 months when the babies wanted to eat food.
I do want to breastfeed but firmly believe it is not up to Midwives to make women feel bad about their choices.
My mum didn't breastfeed me or my siblings, she said she just couldn't do it. She was bullied on this issue by the Midwives (this would be the 70s and 80s). My dad had to step in and very firmly tell the Midwives my mother and he would be deciding how they fed their children.
Hopefully things will have changed these days, but don't be afraid to be firm (or have somebody be firm on your behalf). It is absolutely your decision and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.
My mother didn't breastfeeding me as she couldn't apparently; I have a feeling her diet wasn't the best but apparently her children didn't thrive! I am 39, they tried all sorts of formula and apparently I was I'll all the time till the hospital told her to try cows milk and sugar!!!! I have three kids, wasn't sure about bf'ing with the first but took to it like a duck to water and had perhaps too much milk! Did bf second till she was 4 months and had to stop because they put me on anti-inflammatories, then with third breast fed all the way to 21 months (but only morning and night feeds past a year old). Do what feels right for you, and what makes you comfortable. x
As other people have said, you could always try expressing? I hated th actual act if bf'ing but I was happy to express any milk I could and feed that in a bottle. I found it more awkward whilst out (either with other mums or not) to breastfeeding rather than bottle.
Laly - Im exactly the same as you - have a real phobia of breast feeding where can't stand the thought and site of it without feeling physically sick. Goodness knows why.
I did actually breast feed ds1 for 6 minths. Probably as it was 'the thing to do' but I hated every second. Wherever we were, I'd lock mysf away. Even out visiting a castle - made DH stand guard while I locked us up in a tower. Certainly wouldn't let him be in the room.
It must have had an effect because DS actually lost wait whilst I was bf'ing.
We both did far better once I switched him to formula. The only plus in my mind for bf'ing is that it saves £
I bf ds for a week before I realised I was spending every feed in tears because 1. he's an incredibly hungry boy and I was finding it so painful and 2. I just wasn't enjoying it and I wanted my body back for me. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing it if you don't want to. DS has been on formula since and is a very happy, healthy baby. I'm happy I gave him a week but at least this way, his dad, grandparents, aunties, uncles, etc can have that special time with him too. There's no point making yourself unhappy, I've been so relieved and relaxed since stopping. Do what you think is best for you and your baby because that's all that matters!
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