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How to cope with nights out!!

(14 Posts)
offonajolly Sat 06-Apr-13 07:55:32

I'm in my 17th week of pregnancy and last night went out properly for the first time since finding out and I found it so strange!!

It was the first time we told our friends so everyone was so happy for us which was lovely, then the booze started flowing, then the shots...everyone seemed to be having a ball...except me.

Drunk people are full on! People were shouting, standing much closer when talking to me, not listening, flitting around it was an eye opener! I am usually on the other side so found it quite isolating being sober in this situation. We stayed out til 11.30 then went home, luckily hubby was too drunk so was happy to leave with me but then everyone went on and I found myself feeling that I was missing out...

I was so emotional the whole night too and burst into tears at one point, it just all felt too much!!

Is this normal? am i just being a pathetic pregnant person that needs to man up? How do you cope in these situations and does anyone else find these nights overwhelming and full on!!

EskSmith Sat 06-Apr-13 07:59:27

Nights out with very drunk people are not fun tbh. You need to either change how you socialise or get used to it. Your life is changing and you (and DH) need to adapt.

I don't drink and I find nights out with a load of drunk people boring in the extreme. It's nothing to do with being pregnant. To be honest my solution has always been to gravitate towards more sober friends, and see the big drinkers at day time things. I guess you could try and rope your DH into a non-drinking solidarity for the duration of your pregnancy.

phantomhairpuller Sat 06-Apr-13 08:02:42

I hate it too but I think you just have to suck it up tbh! Drunk people are annoying when you're stone cold sober! Though I think it depends on the group you're with. During this pregnancy I have had a couple of nights out where I can honestly say I've had a brilliant time despite everyone else being poleaxed wink

offonajolly Sat 06-Apr-13 08:03:57

Yes so I discovered! I have been much happier staying in and seeing people in smaller groups. It was DH birthday though so we wanted to celebrate with friends...I guess these nights will be few and far between so not much for me to have to deal with. Its just different and takes some getting used to!

massagegirl Sat 06-Apr-13 08:06:35

You don't need to man up!! I was the same as you, normally the drunk one with my friends. Had a party in new year and everyone was so wasted it was rubbish. Try and sway people into dinners and early drinks, say you're knackered but still want to go out. Food is always a pregnant woman's friend! Have people round to yours so you can slope off to bed. Have lunches out instead of nights out. It is a big change in all areas of your life and tears are normal.

offonajolly Sat 06-Apr-13 08:20:35

Thanks Massagegirl - yes I have been angling more for lunches at the weekends and afternoon tea and things like that...though that isn't always successful! (I had my girls round for lunch and they left at 11pm!) I want to see people though as I know after the baby is born it will be much harder...I don't have a problem not drinking, actually I much prefer it to pre pregnancy where you would feel rough the next day - weekends seem longer etc...

I just felt really isolated and then frustrated and then emotional and not embarrassed for crying...its just been a full on couple of days - after taking the test two months ago, no-one confirmed I was pregnant until the scan yesterday - then I told my boss, work, friends and its been go go go...I think I need time to process it myself too so perhaps jumping straight into last night wasn't the best move on my part! I wanted DH to have a nice time though.

offonajolly Sat 06-Apr-13 08:23:32

lol, the idea of trying to get DH to give up the booze too would feel mean! I'm happy for him to do what makes him happy - he doesnt go out often so when he does I want him to do what he wants - I like the idea of gravitating towards the more sober people...that is a good tip!

Its just an eye opener seeing it from the other side for the first time...I just didn't realise! ah, least its out there now and we can be open to tell people and just enjoy it...it is a big period of adjustment all round!

Bunnychan Sat 06-Apr-13 10:18:03

I can't offer advice but just wanted to say that I know how you feel! I've been alright throughout the pregnancy until about 30 weeks. I hate being out at night full stop. I just want to be in my pjs, bra less and rolling around my bed with back ache/rib ache/hip ache not smiling through it trying to glow and laughing at things that aren't funny unless you've been drinking. I end up being really grumpy! X

csmm Sat 06-Apr-13 12:34:54

Depends where you are. If it's a noisy, busy pub on a Friday night then it is really dull, and I get far too irate with being jostled. But if it's somewhere quieter with friends, provided they're not 'annoying' drunks I don't mind so much. Unless they're all smoking outside and leave me sitting on my own like a lemon...

I second the idea of having people round to your house. Then you can also kick them out when you've had enough grin

offonajolly Sat 06-Apr-13 14:43:34

ah, it's good to know I am not alone - I certainly wasn't the gracious pregnant lady last night. Luckily all my friends are very understanding and kind so no problem but it was a wake up call...thanks ladies!

curlyclaz13 Sat 06-Apr-13 15:41:20

I have been out a few times and it is boring, I love a drink and can hold my drink well (drink OH under the table !) so it is odd being out and missing out on my beloved beer. I find I can not last anywhere near as long so go home early so miss the really drunk part of the night. I also don't like any soft drinks apart from tonic water and get bored of that after a couple. We are having friends round tonight so hopefully that will be easier.

MammaCici Sat 06-Apr-13 16:47:32

I'm on my second pregnancy and haven't experienced a night out like that. I wouldn't socialise with drinkers! Don't get me wrong, I'm fond of a few drinks when I'm not pregnant but everything changes when you are pregnant.

Why don't you go for dinner with your DH or in a small group? People don't tend to get drunk over dinner so much.

Msbluesky32 Sat 06-Apr-13 18:28:32

Eating out is a much better idea, as a few people have said the emphasis isn't then on the drink but the meal and conversation. you could suggest meeting those friends for dinner before they go out on their bender and just go home after the meal? Apart from the three weddings we attended before we told anyone I've avoided nights out with friends that end up being totally drunken because drunk people are very hard to socialise with when you are sober (and suffering with all day morning sickness as i was). I used to drink a lot and its been difficult but now I socialise with them over lunch or we might go and do something together like visit somewhere or go to the cinema. It's actually been really nice.

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