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Do you actually enjoy being pregnant?

(111 Posts)
BadLad Wed 27-Mar-13 11:04:15

This question has been on my mind after reading the "Am I being unreasonable to want to be paid for being a surrogate mother" thread. In that thread the original poster said

I want to do it because I love being pregnant, and I love that i am able to help people who are not able to have a baby the traditional way.

The first part of that astounded me. I had always assumed that pregnancy actually felt like a chore, and was tiring and generally made life difficult.

Does it not? Is it actually an enjoyable experience?

We don't have any children, so I can't ask DW.

gertrudestein Wed 27-Mar-13 15:46:11

Was ttc for a long time before I finally became pregnant, having reluctantly accepted that we weren't going to be able to conceive naturally. So I am both incredibly, incredibly grateful and also absolutely hate this process.

The nausea, the tiredness, the stress, the anxiety, the hormones... Personally it's probably got a lot to do with the fact that other life-events have made this a particularly stressful time. But I also think a lot of it is hormonal.

Some women seem to get filled with happy hormones - they're all serene and lovely and smiling to themselves. Others (like me) have the opposite -panic attacks, crying, waking up in the middle of the night convinced i've done something during the day that could hurt the little one, massive guilt at having created a life that I don't know I can care for properly, and the overwhelming fear that, if I'm this bad at pregnancy, how crap will I be as a mother?

I think I have to keep telling myself it's the hormones that are making me feel like this, even if it's more likely to just be me sad

babyradio Wed 27-Mar-13 15:47:24

I think this may well be my only one, it's definitely something I feel like I'm enduring rather than enjoying! Makes me a bit sad because I feel I should be enjoying it more, but with exhaustion, stress, nausea, depression all under my belt so far - now just as I was beginning to get into a little routine of feeling a bit more normal, getting back into exercise and so on, I get SHINGLES.

He's fine though, the little horror. I'll collapse in an exhausted anaemic heap before he bats an eyelid.

I absolutely love being pregnant. Never had any problems apart from back pain the first time around. I even enjoyed labour! The whole thing is just lovely.
Very sad that hubby says two is enough and my pregnant days were over at 22 sad
I read the surrogacy thread too. I'd probably consider it to help family or a close friend as long aslong was biologically their child, I wouldn't want paying for it, it wouldn't be completely altruistic ;)

Teaandflapjacks Wed 27-Mar-13 16:26:53

No. That's all.

crazypaving Wed 27-Mar-13 19:46:36

oh gertrude you poor thing sad It is the hormones - everything will be fine and you will be a fantastic Mum. If you're worrying this much at this point you can't possibly be a bad Mum!

Pregnancy can be the absolute pits. You'll love not being pregnant again when your baby arrives.

abbyfromoz Wed 27-Mar-13 19:53:44

Good God no! Nothing at all to like... Oh wait the whole growing a baby thing- yeah but you don't get to see the benefit of that for 9 months... Or in some cases 10....and then you are left with the aftermath....sorry...i just....
I miss my boobs confused

BadLad Thu 28-Mar-13 03:48:18

Wow, I only expected a handful of replies.

Thank you for all the replies.

Saundy Thu 28-Mar-13 05:17:10

You gave us an opportunity to moan - there was always going to be a lot of replies! grin

Kelly1814 Thu 28-Mar-13 07:49:27

this is my favourite response, really made me smile!

'I just try and look at it like its a plane journey. Uncomfortable and boring but it will be worth it when you get there.'

although at least on plane journeys you can quaff vino!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 28-Mar-13 08:25:50

I agree with jaffajiffy - on hold till the baby arrives - sort of stepped out of life.

I also agree with the person who said '9 months of sheer hell'.

I worry about the baby.
I get antenatal depression aka the worst pmt in the world from the hormones. This has knock on effect on work and social life.
I get sick in the first trimester
By the third trimester every part of my torso and hips has its own pain story to tell

And a new indignity I've just noticed is that I'm 38 weeks and its like the lights are going off in my head. I can't read the paper, I've got no conversation, I am going into a bubble.

Thanks for oppo to moan. Met someone yesterday who said being pg was like a happy pill. wineTo all those ladies who love it so much!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 28-Mar-13 08:30:17

gertrude totally with you - the hormones seem to do wonders for some but they make me full of dread and apprehension. That is the first sign of pregnancy for me. It is just hormones and it does go after the baby comes - having a baby for me was wonderful. Good luck.

tomatoplantproject Thu 28-Mar-13 08:39:11

Nope. I didn't bloom. I felt rubbish - didn't sleep for the whole 9 months, had bad pgp which severely limited doing all the things I enjoy, and survived on sugar and carbs as a comfort. We always talked about having 3 but dh will be very lucky if I do pregnancy more than twice. But the prize at the end is worth it.

rosiedays Thu 28-Mar-13 11:40:49

over the worst and learning to love it.... beats moaning about it!! think i've found the elusive 'Bloom' blush would i do it again for someone else.... NOT A CHANCE confused

Arcticwaffle Thu 28-Mar-13 11:57:59

No
No
No.

Surrogate mother would be pretty near the bottom of jobs I'd choose. I could hardly bear to be pregnant and give birth to my own children.

badguider Thu 28-Mar-13 12:02:47

No, i dislike it a lot - my digestion is all over the shop and I can't do most of my favourite sports (all contact or too dangerous) and I have far less energy.

The first trimester I barely had enough energy to stay awake for an 8 hr work day, but even quite far through the second trimester i'm still struggling with doing a relatively 'normal' amount of things between sleeping.

Lindyhopper29 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:06:52

Although it was quite a while ago, I can't imagine how anyone enjoys being pregnant - getting fatter and fatter all the time, feeling rotten, endless indigestion (DD), endless thrush (DS) etc etc

Anyone who enjoys being pregnant is clearly mad!

motherinferior Thu 28-Mar-13 12:06:59

At its very best it is like being in a weird cult religion with peculiar rules about eating and drinking.

Angelico Thu 28-Mar-13 12:07:40

Utterly detested being pregnant, largely because I was so busy and it slowed me down. Also ended up with GD in last couple of months. Ironically by this stage I had finished work and was able to spend time looking after myself, at which point it all got easier.

Will still have to psyche myself up to do it all again...

Angelico Thu 28-Mar-13 12:08:26

But for the record my SIL and friend loved being pregnant. Loved it. Nutters

motherinferior Thu 28-Mar-13 12:08:27

When my midwife told me to 'relax and enjoy the last few weeks' I nearly thwacked her one. Also then I interviewed a midwife for a feature who lectured me on how natural pregnancy is and how many women love it. I pointed out I'd loathed both mine...

abbyfromoz Thu 28-Mar-13 12:47:16

Yes i got very VERY annoyed with my cousin (a lot older with 3 teenage boys) who commented on my impatient FB post about when the pregnancy would end (they kept moving my due date) and she said 'stop complaining! You will look back on this time as one of the most beautiful times of your life and miss it'. I went off at her as just spent the entire day (at work) crawling out of meetings on my hands and knees to the bathroom where i would throw up- if not in the ladies would be into a plastic bin besides my desk... I just wanted to meet my little girl an have the torture over and done with! I could have throttled her in my hormonal rage! 2 years on i can honestly say i do not miss pregnancy one bit!

TinkyPeet Thu 28-Mar-13 12:50:41

I enjoy watching my bump grow and feeling wiggles and kicks and looking forward to meeting baby and counting down the weeks, I do NOT enjoy being a co start grump with a short fuse and out of control hormones. Thank heavens it's only 9 months!

MrsSpagBol Thu 28-Mar-13 13:03:58

Feels like the longest NINE months in the world EVER. I am so grateful to have been able to get pregnant and carry the baby this far, but I am so tired of being flamed when I say I HATE IT. I hate being pregnant. There. Said it.

I feel huge, bumbling, cumbersome, off balance, slow, my diet is shot to bits, I can't think of anything to eat and I am a chef (wtf?), I am tired all the time, before this I was sick all the time - I have zero motivation, I have pelvic pain, I itch, my feet ache, I can't sleep, there is sooo much to do and organise, choosing a pram is giving me the worst mental stress ever ....I can't bear it. I just want this to be over.

Not even the cute kicks and baby moving and tummy ripples and lovely scans can make up for it.

Just not my thing. ROLL ON JULY.

Haylebop12 Thu 28-Mar-13 13:08:05

tinky I've been on some TTC buses with you, how's the pg going? I'm 11 weeks grin

I've loved it this time but was in hell and suicidal last time.

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