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Embarrassing Pregnancy Bodies

(57 Posts)
waitingtopop Sun 17-Mar-13 10:40:33

Ok so there's a few things that have been happening recently but my main issue is I'm 38 weeks and at night I constantly waking up with a wet pillow cos I can not stop drooling! This is just another Bloody thing Waking me up at night along with heartburn and constantly needing to pee (6 times last night!!!!)Please tell me I'm not the only one this is happening too and does it go away after birth ??

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 11:33:45

Oh MotherofNations... I'm actually crying with laughter. It reminds me of the time, early in the pregnancy, of when I was having a particularly enthusiastic number 2 (sorry - tmi!), accompanied by a choir of farty noises and of course the numerous big splashes that signify a sloppy one. I finish with a gutsy nose blow, with additional final fart, get dressed and open the door.

... to find OH looking at his feet as he was waiting for me to come out.

Can anyone tell me why they want to have sex with us again?

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 11:36:11

weeblueberry - erm. My OH plus sharp implant and my lady garden... somehow that scenario feels like that bit just before the music starts for the TV programme Casualty...

Actually - I might ask him - just to see the expression on his face.

I have one of those electric strimmer things for tidying up my 'garden' I'm so far managing with a well placed mirror and long arms grin one of my friends asked her DH to help her out with a little veeting just before she gave birth, he decided to take the whole lot off, he still thinks it's hilarious that the baby had more hair than she did grin

fatandlumpy I'm just grateful that I felt too ill to be truly mortified.
Next day he had a stomach bug and pooed his pants. I wasn't home at the time so I'm sure he only told me about it to make me feel better.

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 14:22:49

Ah.. sometimes it's the simple things that prove they truly love us.

Sorry MoN, I'm crying with laughter here at work. I just had a mental image of you and your OH reminiscing...

"... ah Luv, do you remember the time when you shat the bed...?"

"Oh yes Luv... didn't you fill your kecks the day after?"

"Yes Luv... Love you."

"Love you too..."

x

fatandlumpy I'm going to promise not to ever mention him shitting his pants if he never again utters a word about me shitting the bed.

MoN that seems like a fair deal!!

SucksToBeMe Wed 20-Mar-13 15:42:03

These are all really funny! I am 30wks and the other day at work (quite a physical job with heavy lifting) i found that i had pood myself! blush

Don't know when or how!

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. I've been keeping my knickers on in bed now to contain any "accidents" if god forbid it happens again.

MoodyDidIt Wed 20-Mar-13 16:34:28

oh god last time i got thrush and piles practically ALL the time

as well as the usual heartburn, nausea, constipation. sexy

oh the glamour of pregnancy.....

glossyflower Wed 20-Mar-13 16:45:57

Oh not to forget my mild vaginal prolapse which my hubby is a bit scared of lol

Havingkittens Wed 20-Mar-13 18:44:17

Despite fastidious wiping, I don't have a gusset in anything that doesn't smell of piss by the time I've finished wearing it blush. Pyjamas, knickers, leggings, tights. So vile.

Bunnychan Wed 20-Mar-13 19:33:48

This has made me laugh! I can sympathise! I had the start of piles but it seems to have calmed down lately, my boobs always drip leak and my new favourite is farting loudly without even feeling the need to do it! That's my most embarrassing one! So far, I've got away with it at work but we'll see! X

Thingiebob Wed 20-Mar-13 23:54:43

Great thread. I am continually horrified by my body on a daily basis during this pregnancy.

My nose feels so swollen inside I am having to use the BreatheEasy strips at night and often I 'forget' to take it off in the morning.

I have PILES which I have never had and are driving me nuts, Everytime I cough or laugh, I'm scared more are going to drop out of my arse. Have seen GP and been given some cream but they have taken a turn for the worse.

I 'leak' constantly so am using sanpro all the time.

I have bleeding gums which I've never had before.

I keep farting without warning. I am like a squeezebox.

I'm weeing like a racehorse.

And the best one of all is I have discovered my first white har, then a few days later, another. Then another and so on. My hair is streaked through with white. It's like it happened overnight!

Thingiebob Thu 21-Mar-13 16:16:57

Am I so repulsive I killed the thread? Only I wanted to update my list of ailments to let you all now I have now experienced the 'drool'.

MoodyDidIt Thu 21-Mar-13 16:19:55

Lol thingie grin

sexy!

Havingkittens Thu 21-Mar-13 16:39:17

I went to meet a girlfriend for lunch and as I leaned over to give her a hug my nose dripped onto the table. I was mortified. Luckily she was also pregnant so just laughed with empathy.

MumofWombat Thu 21-Mar-13 22:02:32

I havent mentioned drooling to anyone - I thought it was just me!

No one really tells you about the unglamourous stuff before hand do they?

Mumof, it a brilliant confessional here isn't it smile we should write a book titled 'Pregnancy, the stuff they don't tell you but you need to know so you can buy the right creams, lotions, waterproofing and protection' grin

Dp working nightshift and must be bored cos he just sent me a txt asking me when I'm going to seduce him. My reply was "Did me shitting the bed not do it for you then?"

jbakedbean Fri 22-Mar-13 00:24:17

Thank you, thank you thank you. I've had a lovely giggle and at only 11 weeks with dc3 with teenage acne to make adrian mole jealous, random hairs on nipples, 1 stone weight gain, not to mention my oh saying "your personal smell is stronger since you've been pregnant" not quite sure what to say to that!!! Plus burping, farting and generally being a wind bag, and it's only just begun. At least with you lot here I know I'm not alone.

Must remember to do my pelvic floors, ive never had the wee issue and i deseperately dont want it ( i have a toilet phobia, as in will go to great lengths to run taps, go to the other side of the house, not use public loos etc so no one can hear me). Although not working a swell as I hoped, in week 8 I was driving to work 1 hr and had to pull over and have a Wildy wee in a field, and twice when out running. The shame.

pregnancy yoga teacher said pelvic floor exercises not only help wee accidents it can really help with piles. All fours and pull in bum pelvic floor as in to stop a fart. Even if it doesn't work it's funny trying.

leniwhite Fri 22-Mar-13 01:16:39

I'm 39+2 and feel like the most disgusting ball of stink and slime shock

Here's my list:

Piles that burst as I walk, yummy,
Sudden sweaty groin and crotch that smells like old wee,
Cleavage smells like cheese (the lack of separation from maternity bra+sweat) and boobs are now square,
All manner of horrific discharges,
Escaping noisy farts that can sound like someone clapping?!,
Random burps that just erupt when I'm talking (happened at work a lot),
Sudden loud snores that wake me up,
Dribbling,
Sleep talking,
Bloody nose,
Acid reflux that I've actually coughed into my dinner once...
Weird white spots on my nipples that hurt and just showed up yesterday,
Sleep orgasms,
Weirdly waxy poos that refuse to clean up properly. All gross confused

BUT the weird thing is that normally i have acne, nipple hairs and greasy ish hair on my head, which have all completely stopped since I've been pregnant!

I have no dignity left anymore, and I've always been a gassy IBS gal so I'm pretty used to finding sneaky ways to disguise farts as something else or cause a distraction confused

We've only had sex 3 times in nine months because DP gets freaked out by baby going nuts when we try, so I hope all this does stop when baby arrives so we can catch up eventually...

Thingiebob Fri 22-Mar-13 09:18:42

Oh no! Do piles burst? I was sat on an ice pop last night, they were so uncomfortable!

leniwhite Fri 22-Mar-13 10:23:02

Mine do! Such a pleasant feeling, especially when you're just out shopping!

waitingtopop Fri 22-Mar-13 14:38:58

Uncontrollable farting is one that has definitely made an appearance recently.. I was stood in the kitchen talking to my mother in law and let off a huge fart with out warning.. She carried on talking as if to pretend she hadn't noticed but we all know she did and probably the rest of the street too!! blush

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