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Last Post - Heavy Drinking Before I Knew I Was Pregnant (have to decide today)

(180 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Thu 28-Feb-13 15:01:59

I appreciate the women who responded to my first thread about drinking (heavily) before I knew I was pregnant.

I have to make a decision today as to what I am going to do- keeping going or not. I am hoping to hear from any woman who drank as heavily as I did before she knew she was pregnant and then went on to have the baby.

When I was 28 days (4 weeks) since my last period, I drank two bottles of wine (standard 750 ML size) in one night. The next night, I had 3 drinks (1 beer, 2 glasses of wine), and the night after, I had 4-5 beers.

I was also drinking earlier that month, usually a glass of wine here or there. What really worries me is the binge drinking, the heavy drinking, the night of 2 bottles of wine.

If I can find mums who had a drinking problem like I did, who drank that heavily before they knew, I think it would be enough to settle my mind. My GP and midwife, who I saw since the last thread, were not very reassuring, although we did see a heartbeat.

cafecito Mon 11-Mar-13 07:20:57

But nobody can quantify the risk accurately. no doctor will tell you it will be fine- aa whole host of things could go wrong. It doesn't just depend on what you drink, but at what point in development this is, possiby other genetic factors too. Nobody can tap in 2 x wine to a calculator and give you a .005% risk, or whatever. It will take another decade to see more sigificant study results. But equally 30% and 75% is really just laughably wrong. The current thinking is the spectrum disorder occurs in around 1-3% of pregnancies.

cafecito Mon 11-Mar-13 07:26:30

there is still such a thing as a wrongul birth lawsuit - no doctor with any sense will risk their career to reassure you it will be fine.

ExpatAl Mon 11-Mar-13 08:43:59

I don't think a doctor would give you those percentages OP. Perhaps you misunderstood. Wishing you all the best.

tsmith02162013 Mon 11-Mar-13 16:17:25

Having a number to put on a risk really isn't that helpful either way. Frankly, I was surprised that the doctor was willing to put a number on the risk of drinking alcohol before you know you are pregnant, as my other doctors were completely unwilling to do so.

Creamtea1 Mon 11-Mar-13 16:37:06

I agree with others that OP needs to step away from Internet research and forums. Also a lot of people have spent time giving advice etc yet the thread is going in circles.

glossyflower Mon 11-Mar-13 17:06:35

I think that we should wind this down now. It's not helpful to OP and just feeding the negativity. The answers OP seek are here, you wanted true stories of women drinking alcohol whilst pregnant and overwhelmingly the end results were positive. As for professional medical opinion only OP can seek that herself.
Can this thread be closed to further comments?

tsmith02162013 Mon 11-Mar-13 22:38:35

I believe I have probably said all that I can on this subject, really. Thanks to everyone who responded with helpful information.

tsmith02162013 Mon 11-Mar-13 22:39:17

One question- if the thread is closed to future comments, will it still be available online? I have found that it helps me calm down when I get stressed about the drinking to come back and read some of the comments on the thread.

LemonPeculiarJones Tue 12-Mar-13 09:07:39

You don't have to get it closed down, tsmith. I think it's reaching its natural conclusion anyway. It's ok just to leave it.

Good luck with mastering your anxieties. And I really think that your baby will be absolutely FINE!

Take care.

cafecito Tue 12-Mar-13 18:30:41

good luck with your pregnancy tsmith - keep up with as much support as you can have in RL, try and have some counselling- maybe CBT if you find it helpful- and try to stop feeding your anxiety smile we can all find horror stories if we look for them. I honestly believe your baby will be healthy and you will be happy. very best wishes to you x

marywonderful Thu 14-Mar-13 01:04:38

So sorry you are so worried. When you have anxiety it can be easy to get hyper focused on a specific worry. It's a valid worry, but you have made it bigger than it should be. Trust the people in your life to help you put this in perspective.

I'm concerned about how an abortion would effect your anxiety. I could see you hyper focusing on the day, the clinic, the operating table, the doctor, the sounds of the machine. Imagine living that over and over again. I know friends who have aborted and this could really mess with your head - especially if you are sensitive to stress.

michealone77 Fri 13-Feb-15 06:24:46

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Col197 Fri 18-Dec-15 01:48:53

Hi folks. I have a dilemma. I've been having an extremely merry December! Drinking a lot and having the odd ciggy. I'm 41 and have 2 grown up daughters.about 3 weeks ago me and my husband had a ' drunken xxx' now I'm 2 weeks late. Could it be the start of menopause or possibly pregnancy. (Always come on my period on the 5th) if I am pregnant it means a whole change of life , just getting used to the fact that me and hubby are just getting our life back after bringing up two fantastically amazing daughters. I'm still having a glass of wine as I write this , as I don't want to even think about having another baby at my age . Thoughts please xx

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Fri 18-Dec-15 01:53:27

Have you taken a test?

sizethree Fri 18-Dec-15 04:40:05

This is a zombie thread btw.
Thoughts are to do a test. Only way to know.

Euripidesralph Fri 18-Dec-15 05:40:16

OP I've worked with alcoholics for years and for some years specifically with female addicts some of whom were pregnant , including those whose children both did and didn't develop FAS

Your risk is remarkably small I assure you.... noone will.say there is no risk but it's infintesamel. Damage is caused by prolonged heavy drinking or drug use

Of course noone is going to recommend drinking heavily but the amount you say would not cause damage.... certainly not to need abortion unless you want it for different reasons.

I'm the first after 15 odd years in the business to say that if you think your drinking is a problem then it is , alcohol problems are not quantified by how much you drink but by why you drink so in your first post you refer to yourself as having an alcohol problem ... th en do get some support , pregnancy and parenthood is stressful enough get all the help you can

However for me the far bigger issue is your anxiety ... its worth seeking advice about increasing your support because your reaction on the face of it has been massively excessive.... to consider abortion on the facts presented is hugely ov er the top and would suggest your anxiety is out of control so my suggestion is to increase counselling and consider medication because that will be a bigger concern for you

Kaytee1987 Fri 18-Dec-15 07:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 18-Dec-15 09:49:43

Do. A. Test.

These threads are really starting to piss me off.

AuntieStella Fri 18-Dec-15 09:58:38

I thought, seeing a two year old thread back in active, that it might be OP back with a long range update.

Or did it all move to a different thread?

This one is a ZOMBIE

Everythinggettingbigger Fri 18-Dec-15 11:22:50

My friends brother was killed in the army 5 days before she found out she was pregnant.....can you guess what she did in them 5 days.....and what she drank.....full bottles of Jack Daniels you name it! She now has a very happy healthy 5 year old son smile

My other friend was away for her 21st birthday.....between 5 of us we went through 6 bottles of champagne on the flight alone blush and yes she had also taken drugs whilst there.....she found out a week after returning......she now has a very happy very healthy 2 year old little girl....

Me.....I found out on what I thought was a 3rd day of a hangover with DS1, I found out 2 days after a very heavy night out on what I thought was a 2nd day of a hangover this time....im now nearly 18 weeks and baby is happily kicking away as I type. my DS is now 5 and is very happy, very bright and very healthy!

it doesn't sound like your GP or midwife have been very supportive at all! im assuming you haven't drank since.

Everythinggettingbigger Fri 18-Dec-15 11:24:22

ah just noticed the date!!

BexusSugarush Fri 18-Dec-15 11:32:37

I know this isn't a recent example to go by, but 27 years ago my mum drank AND smoked extremely heavily for the first 4 months, as she didn't know she was pregnant. This was a mixture of binge drinking and steady drinking too. She stopped once she found out, of course. I was born to her dates, weighing a little light (5lb10) but had NO childhood illnesses and have had absolutely no problems in my life that may have resulted from that drink. I am now a healthy, happy, heavily pregnant 26 year old of average weight and height and good intelligence.

My mum may have just been very lucky, but this was also back before problems could be picked up so early, so you're also in a much better position than her.

I hope this helped a little and best of luck, whatever you decide x

(Sorry if this has already been resolved but I'm not reading back through 173 posts)

Euripidesralph Fri 18-Dec-15 13:47:23

Oh dammit just saw the date too !!

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