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Last Post - Heavy Drinking Before I Knew I Was Pregnant (have to decide today)

(161 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Thu 28-Feb-13 15:01:59

I appreciate the women who responded to my first thread about drinking (heavily) before I knew I was pregnant.

I have to make a decision today as to what I am going to do- keeping going or not. I am hoping to hear from any woman who drank as heavily as I did before she knew she was pregnant and then went on to have the baby.

When I was 28 days (4 weeks) since my last period, I drank two bottles of wine (standard 750 ML size) in one night. The next night, I had 3 drinks (1 beer, 2 glasses of wine), and the night after, I had 4-5 beers.

I was also drinking earlier that month, usually a glass of wine here or there. What really worries me is the binge drinking, the heavy drinking, the night of 2 bottles of wine.

If I can find mums who had a drinking problem like I did, who drank that heavily before they knew, I think it would be enough to settle my mind. My GP and midwife, who I saw since the last thread, were not very reassuring, although we did see a heartbeat.

croydonmum Thu 28-Feb-13 18:19:02

I drank half a bottle of vodka one night before I realised I was pregnant and other assorted drinks. I also drank smaller amounts regularly. I also smoked. I gave up when I found out I was pregnant (about 7-8 weeks gestation). I had also taken the morning after pill just before my last period. DD was fine and has never had any particular health problems. In fact she is very intelligent and goes to a grammar school.

If what you put in your post is the extent of it, I wouldn't worry. I think long term and later in the pregnancy is more harmful.

Spoonful Thu 28-Feb-13 18:26:15

I also wonder whether you have another worry going on here that you are hiding somewhat with the alcohol concern.
I think you should talk to someone about your anxiety.

Locketjuice Thu 28-Feb-13 18:31:47

There are people that don't even realise they are pregnant for months! I really wouldn't terminate considering you were still in the REALLY early stages

bluer Thu 28-Feb-13 18:39:34

You say you are looking for mums who had a drinking problem like you did...what you've had doesn't seem that excessive. Have you perhaps drank much more than what you've said? Do you think you have a problem?
It does sounds like you have bigger issues tbh....if you knew how much pain and heartache people go through to be in your condition you might not be as flippant about abortion.

AmberLeaf Thu 28-Feb-13 18:41:25

I was a 21 year old student when I got pregnant with my first child, I drank a fair amount before finding out I was pregnant at 5 weeks post last period.

My son is fine, bright and healthy.

I am getting the same impression from others that there is more to this than worrying about alcohol consumption, oh and I wouldn't call what you described as a 'drinking problem'

Are you looking for 'permission' to terminate?

AmberLeaf Thu 28-Feb-13 18:42:11

*as others not from

AmberLeaf Thu 28-Feb-13 18:43:28

if you knew how much pain and heartache people go through to be in your condition you might not be as flippant about abortion

That's not fair.

The Op is clearly struggling here, one pain doesn't trump another.

bluer Thu 28-Feb-13 18:58:12

I think she's struggling with some thing but its not what she's saying. She has issues and frankly it doesn't sound right at all, and actually a bit unbelievable.

AmberLeaf Thu 28-Feb-13 19:06:17

Struggling is struggling.

If you think it's unbelievable then report it to MNHQ.

beckie90 Thu 28-Feb-13 19:13:27

Ds1 I was 17 so had just started going out etc about 5 days beforei found out I went out and drank loads, he's fine.

Ds2 I had a friends get together about 6 days before finding out I also had a lot to drink then, he's also fine.

Your baby will be fine, honestly xx

BikeRunSki Thu 28-Feb-13 19:14:35

I was at a similar stage with DC1 on New Year's Eve 5 years ago, and had an awful lot to drink over the course of 48 hours - an entire bottle of whiskey, several beers, a couple of bottles of wine. That baby is now 4 and absolutely fine.

tsmith02162013 Thu 28-Feb-13 19:36:33

Two bottles of wine (real-sized bottles of wine) by one woman in one night is excessive drinking. Especially if said woman is pregnant, regardless of whether she knows it or not. And I continued to have 3 drinks, then 5 drinks up until the positive pregnancy test.

I appreciate the responses and was reaching out again because my doctor was not very reassuring. I heard about positive outcomes from the women on this board, and then the doctor came crashing in with his negative view of my health that first month of pregnancy and my excessive drinking, especially over the binge weekend when I was 4 weeks, 4 weeks 1-2 days.

I am in counselling and do have anxiety issues. I enrolled in counselling after I found out about the pregnancy because I knew that I could not handle this on my own.

I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but I am married, and my husband works in a high stress environment. I confided in him about my concerns early on, right after the positive pregnancy test, but I cannot continue to lean on him with this issue. He is a wonderful man, but there is only so much support he can give me.

In light of my doctor's less than optimistic attitude, I wanted to reach out to real women, and I appreciate the responses. Thank you again for taking the time to discuss this with me.

I want to apologize to the people who feel that I am being flippant about abortion. I promise you, if I were not taking this matter so seriously, I would just go have the procedure, without pursuing every avenue for scientific data, anecdotes (which is really all we have, in light of the lack of data about binge drinking in early pregnancy), and stories of hope.

Thank you to those of you who have responded.

Cheffie100 Thu 28-Feb-13 19:44:01

You are worrying over nothing. I drank for the first 10 days after child was conceived non stop on honeymoon and we are both fine! Your doc should have reassured you and the risk is very little in those early days

Tsmith it's obviously on your mind and I don't understand why your doctor was so over the top, when I brought up the same thing to my mw she said more women then not do the same!
I didn't find out I was pregnant till 7/8 wks as had implantation bleed mistook for af, over that time it was Xmas, new year, I went on a course with work which I drank every night and my bday which if I elaborate that days alcohol, one bottle of cava at breckie ( dh had one glass I had the rest) 2 bottle if beer at lunch and about 6/7 that evening!! Dd is lovely clever smart , infact I havnt read one post where anyone's dc was effected other then a possibly, I don't advise it obviously but what's done us done, you start as you mean to go on when you know you ARE pregnant you don't avoid banned foods before etc do you? If you aborted then tried again what if it took years to fall pregnant? This isn't unlikely, it took me 18months to conceive dd only 1 for current pregnancy, are you never going to have a drink in that time again over Xmas etc just incase? Ask yourself how likely it is the majority of women carry on drinking etc as normal Untill they find out, I bet it's over 50%

Thank you for replying OP, have been thinking of you.

I'm glad you're getting some counselling. It seems like you know you are struggling even if the reason for it is unclear. Is your DH happy about the pregnancy? Are you? I think you need to try and examine your feelings about it all, and be able to face what might come next, whatever that may be.

ChairmanWow Thu 28-Feb-13 20:37:54

Most of us don't think you were being flippant about abortion - very much the opposite given your anxiety issues. I hope the counselling helps you to deal with that.

If it helps two of my friends had similar experiences. One was ttc and had a BFN so she went out on the lash all weekend - including a night drinking two bottles of wine like yourself. Then on the Monday morning she still had no period and got a BFP. Her daughter is perfect. The other friend had an accident and because of irregular periods didn't find out til she was 7 weeks, during which time she went to a festival and didn't just drink copious amounts but also took class A drugs (please let's not go there on here!). Her son is 4 now and has absolutely no problems.

mylittlepuds Thu 28-Feb-13 21:11:33

That amount of alcohol doesn't seem particularly shocking given you didn't know you were pregnant.

LemonPeculiarJones Thu 28-Feb-13 22:17:58

Hello lovely, after your doctor being stern about this you are obviously craving reassurance so please do absorb and hear all the tales here!

I can add my own: before I knew I was pg with my DS, it was the Christmas period. I went out loads. I drank lots of wine, on many evenings. I also dabbled in a bit of social smoking. It was definitely binge drinking for a few of those evenings. You know, rollicking pissed I'm such a class act

My DS is 18 months now, tall, strong and healthy, walked at 10 months, bright as a button, chattering away smile

As many posters have said before, up until about 8 weeks (I think? Around then) the foetus is nourished by the yolk sack and is not getting it's nourishment via the placenta/your blood stream.

You will be fine and so will your baby.

Your doctor sounds like an arse.

Do read and reread all the answers you get here. Anxiety can bend the brain, I know, and make you feel powerless against the panic you feel - let the thoughts come and go. Don't try to 'fix' them. Try to blank your mind and read these answers. Don't expect it all to feel ok like a switch flicking - just let your mind observe the ideas in these posts.

Pregnancy is a scary time - glad you have a counsellor. Take care x

maxbear Thu 28-Feb-13 22:37:05

Just to add to the reassurances, I don't drink very much usually and when we were trying for DC1 I was very careful not to drink each month when I was due on, then after trying for several months we went on holiday where I relaxed and enjoyed myself (drank lots more than I usually would) I was so sure I would never get pregnant! Bfp the day I got home! I'm a midwife and to be honest I didn't really worry as I stopped as soon as I knew I was pg. DD is 8 and fab, no problems with her!

Teaandflapjacks Fri 01-Mar-13 00:27:51

Hey hon,

I think perhaps some people who were concerned for you didn't quite understand anxiety issues, and how a negative thought sticks on repeat in your head, no matter what positive stuff is said after. Hopefully your counselling includes some CBT - great for anxiety issues. Unfortunately, your brain thinking pattern is working in the wrong way with anxiety, and needs help to re-set it. Another thing I wanted to tell you - and this is a major long shot - but do ask your doctor to get your TPO level tested for Hashimotos Thyroiditis (see wikipedia). This is often mis diagnosed as anxiety, manifests in exactly the same way, but is very easily treatable with thyroxin. Also - maybe change doctors - and get a female one if you can?

On your worries with the baby. Well, most babies wouldn't be here with a huge bucket of booze and people getting frisky. But also, think for a moment about what stage the baby was at when you were 4-5 weeks. It was just nestling down into your womb lining. It was not taking anything from your blood supply at this stage. I think this is natures way of protecting embryo before you realise you are pregnant. Think about it - it is the same with your eggs, and you don't need to worry about them normally. And if you had been 28 days from period - then your were 4 week pregnant, if that, as you wont know when you ovulated. It really is not anything to worry about at all. I think pretty much all women had a skin full before knowing. But this really does not effect the baby. I have had this same said to me by numerous doctors BTW - in the UK and here in Germany. It is once the baby is 6 -7 weeks in then there starts to be a v v v v small risk, which increases if people obv. booze during pregnancy. Also, bodies are pretty smart, unviable embryos, usually miscarry early on. Please do not worry, the human body is amazing, it protects itself pretty well against a lot, and repairs itself amazingly well. Your baby is just fine.

If you are worried about being on your own with the baby, while hubby works long hours, and worried about coping, then mums to be groups can be really great. Try a few to find like minded people. But most importantly - be happy about the baby. There is nothing wrong with choosing that if this is not the right time for you too - this is why we live in a modern society where woman can choose.

Take care xx

Teaandflapjacks Fri 01-Mar-13 00:31:23

p.s. although it is about depression, it is a sibling of anxiety, and I particularly enjoyed Sally Brompton's 'shoot the damn dog' - you might take some comfort from it.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shoot-Damn-Dog-Memoir-Depression/dp/0747572453/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362097825&sr=8-1

tsmith02162013 Fri 01-Mar-13 20:42:28

Thank you, everyone! I really have been on a quest to find women who drank (heavily) at 4 weeks after their last period, who still had healthy babies. It sounds like the odds may be in my favor, even if the doctor was less than enthusiastic about where things stand.

My husband is very, very happy about the baby (although he was not very happy with my reaction- sobbing, thinking of all the awful things I have done already to this child by drinking like an idiot). Although to be fair, I was not ridiculous after two bottles of wine, and I felt fine the next day. It's the rest of my life and the baby's life that I'm worried about now.

But from what I've heard, I'm not the first woman to do this, and to drink heavily before she knew. If there really can be a good outcome, if someone out there has done what I've done at had a healthy baby, then I can focus on that.

Thanks again!

Gemsyf Fri 01-Mar-13 21:37:20

My first post here, so I hope I am doing it right!

I am 8 + 4 pregnant, had a scan this week which found bean and heartbeat. I drunk and actually fairly heavily as well as smoked before I had a clue I was pregnant, as I wasn't expecting it at all.
The private consultant I saw this week for my scan, said to me not to worry in the slightest (as did my doctor)- I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, and stopped drinking and smoking immediately. As others have said to you, the baby is not even connected to your blood supply at this point - they are being nourished by the yolk sac.

By the way your doctor sounds like an idiot, so I would avoid him in future! Try and enjoy your pregnancy and stop worrying - what will be will be. All you can do is be sensible. Worrying (or not worrying) is not going to change anything other than the enjoyment you get from this. It is such a precious experience (which I think gets lost sometimes amoungst the worry), and should be enjoyed.

Chubfuddler Fri 01-Mar-13 21:45:10

I have to say something here op, and I replied to your last thread about this and I also totally agree with pheonix.

No one can guarantee you a healthy baby. No one can guarantee that your baby will have no health problems which are completely unrelated to alcohol consumption. It's really not as simple as "all these women on the Internet got bladdered and their babies were give so mine will be too" and not is it a case of "drink x units and your baby is screwed, might as well abort."

I'm not convinced that anything anyone on MN can say will reassure you. I'm glad you're in counselling about this. I'm surprised by your doctors reaction. Are you not in the UK?

Before I found out I was pregnant with DS (at 5 weeks or so) I partied a lot and drank heavily. In fact I was handling alcohol surprisingly well - I wasn't getting hangovers after excessive drinking. It turns out that may be one of my early pregnancy indicators - currently pregnant with DC2 (only 6 weeks) and although we were TTC I still drank probably a bit more than I should have done and it was only when I realised I wasn't hungover after 1.5 bottles of wine on a rare night out that I became suspicious!

For what it's worth, DS is absolutely fine, two years old, bright, healthy and thriving. I am no longer drinking since discovering I am pregnant again but I am not worried that I did drink before I found out. What's done is done and there is such a minuscule chance of it impacting on the foetus I feel it would be more detrimental to the pregnancy for me to stress about it.

If you want this baby, please don't worry about what you have done up until the point you discovered the pregnancy. No one can say 100% you will have a healthy baby at the end of it but the odds are in your favour.

Your doctor is just towing the hard line and being stern - some are just like that. In my experience they are the minority and most would advise you not to worry and to just be healthy and kind to your body throughout the remainder of your pregnancy - which includes not fretting and not putting yourself under stress! smile

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