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Last Post - Heavy Drinking Before I Knew I Was Pregnant (have to decide today)

(161 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Thu 28-Feb-13 15:01:59

I appreciate the women who responded to my first thread about drinking (heavily) before I knew I was pregnant.

I have to make a decision today as to what I am going to do- keeping going or not. I am hoping to hear from any woman who drank as heavily as I did before she knew she was pregnant and then went on to have the baby.

When I was 28 days (4 weeks) since my last period, I drank two bottles of wine (standard 750 ML size) in one night. The next night, I had 3 drinks (1 beer, 2 glasses of wine), and the night after, I had 4-5 beers.

I was also drinking earlier that month, usually a glass of wine here or there. What really worries me is the binge drinking, the heavy drinking, the night of 2 bottles of wine.

If I can find mums who had a drinking problem like I did, who drank that heavily before they knew, I think it would be enough to settle my mind. My GP and midwife, who I saw since the last thread, were not very reassuring, although we did see a heartbeat.

PandaWatch Thu 28-Feb-13 15:06:46

If you were 4 weeks from your last period you would only have conceived approximately 2 weeks before your drinking session. The baby doesn't share a blood supply with you at this point so would not be affected.

We were on holiday with my SiL when she would have been around 4 weeks pregnant. She drank cocktails and wine everyday for a week, went on rollercoasters, ate the "wrong" foods. Her DS is now just over a year, just started walking, forming his first words and is a healthy, happy, clever little boy who has never had any problems.

elfycat Thu 28-Feb-13 15:09:32

I realised I was pregnant when the hangover just didn't go away. Following a military party and they are never light on the alcohol. Alcohol was a feature in my life (to that point). DH and I could drink 3 bottles of red wine between us a night. 6-8 pints of ale, no problem.

DD1 is 4 and tucked under my arm watching Kung Fu Panda 2. She's tall, good build, bright, emotionally mature for her age, kind to DD2 (mostly).

No problems really apart from she was 4 weeks early and that might be linked to alcohol, but then again might not have been. Make sure you have your bag packed by 35 weeks.

Good luck whatever you decide.

shrimponastick Thu 28-Feb-13 15:11:01

I drank loads before discovering I was pregnant. And I may also taken some illegal stuff too.

I felt totally guilty - but I imagine that many, many pregnancies occur because of heavy drinking. i.e. a drunken night out leading to unprotected sex.

DS is now 15 and absolutely fine. A* student - doing very well.

I think it becomes an issue if the heavy drinking continues into the pregnancy - once you have had the BFP then quit.

I had several heavy sessions before I found out at 9 weeks with dd. I also smoked 10/15 a day.

She was a healthy baby, good birthweight and no neurological problems.

At the stage you did your heaviest drinking your baby wasn't connected to your blood supply yet so won't have been affected.

Promethea Thu 28-Feb-13 15:12:55

I did. More than you, easily more. DD2 born at 41 weeks, 9lb 12 - happy, healthy, very bright, extremely tall for her age 2 year old

winnybella Thu 28-Feb-13 15:14:46

I have read a bit of your thread and tbh what made me feel worried was not the alcohol you drank but all the obsessing you seem to be doing despite lots and lots of good advice you got. Have you got health anxiety/general anxiety/OCD, perhaps? I mean it with kindness, btw, please don't be offended.

FWIW I drank like fish before I found out I was pregnant, and every day as well, with both pregnancies. I also drank moderately (few small glasses of wine a week) for the entire duration of pregnancy both times (with the blessing of the obstetrician and midwives). Both DC born healthy, good weight, bright, doing great at school.

If you really want to have a child, then I think it would be very unreasonable to terminate based on the info you provided. You do realise that lots if not most women drink before they find out they are pg and go on to have healthy babies?

LivingThings Thu 28-Feb-13 15:15:30

I drank tons before pregnant. If you were 4 weeks from period you're only actually 2weeks pregnant and 'baby' is a cell dividing like crazy and not even embedded and sharing your supply yet. Its what you do now that matters.

Moominsarehippos Thu 28-Feb-13 15:17:11

My exSIL is an alcoholoc and didn't ease up before, during or after pregnancy. DN is absolutely fine.

Portofino Thu 28-Feb-13 15:17:15

God - I was on a project secondment to Dublin when I discovered I was PG. We were out every night. It was one of those work hard/play hard environments. I was flying twice a week and mainlining free G&Ts in the airport lounge too. I had the odd glass all through my pregancy too.

Dd is nine next month and top of her class at school. 8lb10 at birth, healthy and happy as a lark.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 28-Feb-13 15:22:56

Have you don't your research about foetal alcohol syndrome? I think your decision seems to be less about the alcohol and really about if you're ready to have this baby. It's unlikely that your alcohol consumption in early days affected the baby - it's more about regularly consuming alcohol throughout your pregnancy and it crossing the placenta. Have you stopped drinking now?

ladymia Thu 28-Feb-13 15:25:54

I think there are bigger issues at play here than you worrying about the alcohol you consumed.

I read your last post although I didn't comment - there was no extra advice I could have given you that the other posters had not already voiced.

If you have been taking the MNers advice on board, you will see that FAS affects women who continue to drink heavily in pregnancy. If this is your intention, then you have an alcohol dependency problem that needs to be addressed. There are plenty of counsellors available to help you deal with this, your doctor should be able to recommend someone.

However, if this is not the case and you are convinced you have damaged your baby despite finding a heartbeat and despite countless posters sharing their very similar experiences and going on to have healthy and happy children - then I strongly suspect that you are using the binge drinking as a way out of a situation you do not feel ready to deal with. Are you naturally anxious, or is it specific to the pregnancy? Either way, my advice again is to seek some professional help, but only once you have asked yourself a very honest question and answer it truthfully - do you actually want this pregnancy to continue?

I am sorry if any of what I have said seems blunt or harsh but I have a diploma in counselling and I something in your posts seems very off, especially in spite of you not listening to the advice of all the people trying to help you here.

sydlexic Thu 28-Feb-13 16:02:56

Well said Pheonix.

I'd been at a music festival the weekend before u fell pregnant with my son I drank a box of wine , vodka beer etc :-0
Hangover wouldn't go away and found out I was pregnsnt that week, my son is now nearly 9 and very smart and lovely.
I'm told in the very early days they don't share a blood supply as such.

infinitemonkeys Thu 28-Feb-13 16:58:50

I also read your last post, but only now feel moved to comment. I do agree with previous posters, and feel that the drinking thing might be a smokescreen for something else to be honest, particularly as you seem not to want to hear that everything will be fine. Are you looking for a reason to abort?

If it helps, I drank an absolute skinful a couple of times before I POAS - and by that, I mean spending a whole day drinking beer with friends (got through about 8 cans), then on to a bar where a scary amount of rum and vodka was consumed, then home to a couple of glasses of wine. In one day.

I also used to drink a good couple of glasses of wine per night - big glasses. Obviously, as soon as I found out I was pregnant (at about 2 days after my period should have been due, so 4 weeks 3 days after LMP, I stopped drinking, and have only had very occasional, small glasses of wine here and there since then. I didn't worry at all about what effect my drinking very early on may have had, because like many people have already said, the baby is self-contained at that point. It's also more than fair to say that many babies are conceived in a drunken haze, and before the advent of early detection tests, a lot of women had no idea they were pregnant until missing at least one period.

There is an awful lot of scary propaganda out there about FAS, but it really is only an issue for women who drink a lot on a regular basis during pregnancy. A blowout early on is totally different. I asked my doctor about my two big drinking days before I found out, and he said that if I had done any damage at such an early stage, I would miscarry.

If FAS was as big of a thing as many people would have you believe, then why is it that our parents' generation, whose mothers were told to drink Guinness daily to "keep their iron up", aren't a bunch of deformed-faced mentally disabled people?

Again, FAS is only a worry if you are an alcoholic who continues to drink very substantial amounts throughout your pregnancy.

But be honest, that's not the answer you're looking for, is it? My thinking is that you, for whatever reason, don't want this baby (which is perfectly fine, by the way), and are looking for a "way out" that absolves you somewhat of making the decision.

^ I strongly suspect that you are using the binge drinking as a way out of a situation you do not feel ready to deal with. Are you naturally anxious, or is it specific to the pregnancy? Either way, my advice again is to seek some professional help, but only once you have asked yourself a very honest question and answer it truthfully - do you actually want this pregnancy to continue?^

This is exactly what I was thinking. OP, you are waiting for ONE woman to come along and say, You know I did that and my baby was seriously damaged. But no one has. You have had countless people tell you it's most likely not an issue. But you are continuing to ask...why?

ladymia Thu 28-Feb-13 17:10:36

"If I can find mums who had a drinking problem like I did, who drank that heavily before they knew, I think it would be enough to settle my mind."

The 94 people that told you it will be fine on your last thread didn't seem to settle your mind, 94 more replies on here will not do that.

As a PP poster said you do not want people to reassure you things are OK it seems you want one person to justify your fear.

Right now the chance that something has gone wrong because of a binge must be about less than 1.5% (my uneducated guess!) how will you cope with the testing at 12 weeks for DS? How will you cope with the Anomaly Scan?

Artichook Thu 28-Feb-13 17:32:12

When I was 4 weeks pregnant with DC1 I went out 4 nights in a row and drank at least one bottle on wine each night, plus some shots (in my defender it was Christmas party season). On the fifth day the vomiting started, I thought it was the worst hangover ever, only after 38 hours without respite did I think to test.

I hadn't been taking pre-natal vitamins either.

DC1 was fine. Now aged six and bright as a button. TBH it didn't occur to me to worry as I knew I wouldn't drink again before birth.

Mandytm Thu 28-Feb-13 18:06:21

I would talk to your doctor to understand the real risk.

Like a lot of others here, I also have anecdotal evidence. My mum was an alcoholic and said she drank a bottle of gin in one day, 2 weeks before she knew she was pregnant with me - so probably about when you binged. I've never been ill in hospital, am happily married with a masters degree and decent job - so quite sure there's no lasting damage to me.

But if the alcohol is the only reason that you're not sure if you want to do this, then speak to a medial professional ASAP to get sound advice to base your decision on.

PopeBenedictsP45 Thu 28-Feb-13 18:10:19

I also have my own anecdotal evidence.

I was on holiday for two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I drank very heavily - it was an area known for its good, cheap wine and boy did I indulge. I had wine with breakfast. blush I had no idea I was pregnant (on the pill). I also smoked.

DC is absolutely fine, no problems whatever.

Drinking while pregnant is still such an unknown quantity as it's very difficult to study. A lot of respondents with FAS children exaggerate what they drank during pregnancy, so studies haven't exactly proved reliable.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 28-Feb-13 18:13:42

"A bunch of deformed faced mentally disabled people" isn't the ideal way to describe people with FAS

KobayashiMaru Thu 28-Feb-13 18:14:12

I drank far more than you did before I was pregnant. Somebody very close to me died very suddenly and I went a bit mental. A month of serious binge drinking, smoking and poor eating followed. My dc was born 8 months later healthy, and now many years later is bright, tall and strong.

You know that until the placenta forms at around 5-6 weeks there is really no harm you can do to an embryo/zygote? It's only after that point that alcohol cav affect it.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 28-Feb-13 18:14:47

As regards the OP I think the foetus will be OK so dont base any decision upon that fear.

KobayashiMaru Thu 28-Feb-13 18:15:39

*before I knew I was pregnant. Doesn't make any sense otherwise. blush

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