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How did you tell people about your pregnancy?

(26 Posts)
MeanMrsMustard Sun 17-Feb-13 11:09:23

I'm looking for insperation... How did you tell parents? Close friends? Old friends you don't see often any more?

This is a bit premature as I haven't had a scan yet, but all going to plan I'll have confirmation on Tuesday when I'll be 13 weeks ish.

I'm really crap at announcing things. I cringe when I think of how I told people about my dads death when I was 18 (10 mins into a conversation when they asked how I was "yeah, I'm ok, I finished my exams but dad died at the weekend..."). My engagement announcement was a bit of a disaster too (family spreading the news to everyone within seconds of finding out, a close friend turning up to 'engagement drinks' someone else had organised and not knowing until she got there that I was getting married). So I need help... I had planned in telling mum on Thursday evening over dinner (we are going shopping in the afternoon and she was meant to come round for a bite to eat after dh gets in from work) but now she has double booked the evening bit. I'm not sure I can tell her in the ikea carpark - should it be a bit more eventful than that? This will be her first grandchild.

And what is the consensus on group texts? Is it tacky? The norm? Insensitive to others who may be having little success ttc?

So please share your stories. Successful, inspired, dramatic, low key or disastrous...

Gumps Sun 17-Feb-13 11:19:12

Wrong person to ask. I told my husband on the phone as he was 100 miles away and regret it to this day 😢

Eletheomel Sun 17-Feb-13 11:22:13

With my DS once we'd had our 12 wk scan, we told both parents face to face, and afterwards I phoned a couple of friends to tell them, and the rest of my friends were told via email (some in a group mail if they knew each others, other by individual email). My workmates, I told a few folk in my office first, but didnt tell everyone else in the office until I was closer to 5 months, just because I had horrendous morning sickness and really wasn't up to random conversations.

This time round, my DH told his parents face to face, I had terrible morning sickness so just phoned my parents (who told the rest of my family). We didn't send out any group emails (second time round doesn't seem as much of an event!) but sent a couple of friends emails, the rest we notified at christmas by putting an 'and bump' note in our christmas cards (I sent my xmas cards when I was about 15 wks pregnant so not too long gone).

And as for work, this time I just told my line manager at 12 weeks and told her she could tell everyone else (I was off work with morning sickness for 8 weeks) so she announced it at an all staff meeting so I didn't have to tell anyone :-)

So, I suppose i used a mixture of methods (face to face, phone, group email, individual email, 'the grapevine') depending on who it was, and the circumstances at the time. I don't think any method of communication is particularly off-limits depending on your relationship with the people you're telling.

I told my mum and dad the morning after they came back off holiday. I was so nervous and after a nudge from my DH blurted out "we've got something to tell you...you're going to be grandparents"

I was so scared even though I'm married and have my own house!

Everyone else was quite easy, just went along the we're having a baby route. Still felt a bit embarrassed telling everyone though. You may as well wander round saying me and DH have been Doing IT! childish

3rdtimelucky73 Sun 17-Feb-13 11:26:55

Bit of a mixed bag here too.

Parents were told face to face at about 8 weeks as so sick could've hidden it - plus was expected news as had fairly recent mc so knew we were trying.

Some friends were told in Xmas cards (19 weeks) but most as and when we saw or phoned friends.... There are a few that still don't know (28 weeks) as now it seems like an after thought.

I personally haven't mentioned it on FB or sent texts, but that is a personal/age thing!

Good luck x

Ellypoo Sun 17-Feb-13 11:27:43

We told our families and close friends face to face or called them if they weren't close by.
I told my boss early on because I couldn't attend a work event; I told my team when I returned to work after 12 wk scan.
Others just as we've seen them or they heard on the grapevine.

ZuleikaD Sun 17-Feb-13 11:42:27

We told family by phone, everyone else gets the scan pic on facebook.

AlmondFrangipani Sun 17-Feb-13 11:47:19

Hi,

We found out just before Christmas so told MIL and BIL in person as we were there for Christmas and couldnt get away with not drinking! I called my Mum and immediate family as they are far away.

We told close friends in person and then we sent a text to the others. We then moped up a few people on FB by private message. I personally didnt want to splash it on FB as I have some friends who have been trying for awhile and didnt want to seem insensitive!

tylersmummy12 Sun 17-Feb-13 12:22:48

My oh was there when i did the rest and then i never told anyone till past 20 weeks and when i did i texted everyone!

My family live abroad. I told them all over the phone the day I got my BFP (parents, sisters, best friend). I told other friends and family when I was 13 weeks but no one new I was having twins until I got to 24 weeks (apart from parents, sister & best friend).

oops...knew!

afrikat Sun 17-Feb-13 13:43:25

I will be telling close friends by phone then the rest will get an email. Family all got a phone call as we don't live close. I told a few close friends in person as I saw them soon after BFP and the second I refused a glass of wine they would have guessed anyway!

Beatrixpotty Sun 17-Feb-13 13:53:00

Parents:phone.Siblings: email followed up with phone call.Friends:text if not close by ,otherwise face to face.Live far away from family & old friends so had to do it that way.

fathergoose Sun 17-Feb-13 14:05:48

Group texts is a little insensitive I think: could upset both people struggling to conceive and those who feel they are 'closer' friends (and warrant a personal call). Depends who you include in the group though I suppose. Plus, telling people struggling to conceive is awkward however you do it - at least a group text gives them the time to deal with it before they see you in person (rather than you telling them in person and them immediately having to shriek with excitement and give you a hug...). Maybe think through if there are any people you know like this and decide how to tell them on a case-by-case basis (although obviously some people won't have made problems public).

We've always called parents/siblings or told them in person (in the latter case, with a scan picture). Close friends I've told in person, others via email (but normally in the context of something else - so for #1 there was an email going around trying to organise a ski trip, so it seemed like the perfect time to say we weren't interested because I was knocked up).

DH ruined telling his parents with #2 though - we were late meeting them for lunch since our scan had run over, and so he gave the excuse that we had been "watching DD's brother or sister on the telly" (which is how we explained the whole thing to her). It took his parents quite a long time to work out what he meant, which ruined the surprise!

SeriousStuff Sun 17-Feb-13 14:24:32

I'm only 6+3 but wanted to tell close family after I had to go to A&E. Told parents face to face in the middle of a mundane conversation about something or other. Had to tell siblings over the phone.

Told FIL face to face. MIL offered me a beer and I told her the baby wouldn't like it...took a few seconds to sink in!

We had a big elaborate plan to dress our dog up in a 'big brother' t-shirt but often you just have to tell them.

I'm now going to have to tell a friend of ours - had discussed going on holiday with her this summer but now won't be able to afford it. I don't want to mess her around so will just have to tell the truth but I know she can keep a secret.

Pinkbump3 Sun 17-Feb-13 16:15:08

With mydd1&2 we just told parents face to face after 12 week scan with dd3 we had not agreed to tell anyone yet as hadn't been for scan but dh had other ideas!! We where at a wedding with all my family and extended family around a table and he blurted out to my mum so your going to be a granny again!! shock could have killed him!! But all was well had my scan a week later and was only 8 weeks when he told everyone!

AlisonL1981 Sun 17-Feb-13 16:16:17

Told my mum but starting the conversation, 'how do you feel being a grandma?' With friends, I started with, 'I have some news...' And they guessed lol! X

CityDweller Sun 17-Feb-13 16:28:52

I'm rubbish at that sort of thing. I basically blurted out to people in the middle of a conversation 'I'm pregnant!'. I didn't want to do a big build up, or make a big deal of it, but it's actually quite hard to roll into a normal conversation. But, everyone was so shocked at the news anyway (they all gave up on us having kids years ago) that I don't think it would have made any difference how I'd phrased it.

I think I managed it best with my mum, who I happened to be seeing around the time I wanted to tell her (i.e. didn't have to make special plans). She started talking about meeting up for my step-father's birthday for a drink in a few months time and I said something like 'that sounds great, we'd definitely be up for that, although of course I won't be drinking...because I'm pregnant.' Her reaction was completely priceless.

I personally would avoid group texts, facebook announcements, etc, but each to their own.

rrreow Sun 17-Feb-13 20:24:37

I told a few people early (as soon as we did the test), mainly close family. My family & some best friends live abroad, so told them by phone / email. Family nearby we told in person.

Then after the 12w scan posted a pic of it on Facebook to let everyone else know.

TwitchyTail Sun 17-Feb-13 21:12:53

Haha SweetTransvestite - at 35 weeks (and married, and not young), I still feel a bit embarrassed that everyone now knows I have definitely Done It grin

I never made a big announcement or did anything momentous - just quietly told people as I went along, in whatever way was most convenient - email, phone, etc. All personal though, no group messages. I think how special it is depends on your relationship with the person, not so much how you tell them.

BabyRoger Sun 17-Feb-13 21:15:03

I phoned my close friends and family (live a long way from them). Everyone else saw the scan photo on facebook.

BraveLilBear Mon 18-Feb-13 07:59:16

I totally feel your pain! I had to tell my immediate family at 8 weeks because I ended up in hospital for emergency surgery and everyone on the ward knew, so had to fess up when mum and sister came to visit me from a long way away.

Then waited til after scan for the rest, phoned my nan (very scary, she's catholic, I'm not married) then emailed my uncles with a scan pic. OH was horrendous at telling his family, told his sister, who told his brother, who told his dad before we could tell them. I was furious with OH as everyone I'd told was asked not to spread it outside of family or put anything online.

Told my bosses over coffee at work, but now have to tell wider team and have no clue- I'm now 18 weeks and having to change my wardrobe very suddenly!

Others I've told via personal texts, and a couple thru facebook messaging. I've also kept it off facebook as I remember how painful it was being surrounded by baby news just after my miscarriage.

I think it helps if you remember that aside from immediate family and very close friends no one gives a monkeys, so big announcements are a bit pointless.

I told my DH by text, my parents by email, and close friends when I bumped into them. At work I solved the problem by telling the biggest gossip, and leaving the rest to them.

Countmyblessings Mon 18-Feb-13 13:34:02

I'm 36 weeks and told most of the family after our 12 weeks scan then close friends at about 18 weeks as getting harder to hide!
I still haven't told alot of people,but work knew as was off work alot with me having spd and sickness! They were so happy as had a few losses they all knew about ( close ones)
I have not done a huge scan picture or I'm pregnant announcement as I know how I felt seeing that on my FB after my loss!!! Not nice feeling!!
But as has been said " each to there own"
I also believe a personal touch to the ones important in your life is special!

Good luck x

ThisLittleMonster Mon 18-Feb-13 14:44:30

I told my mum face to face, then a few minutes later blurted it out to my dad mid-conversation. His eyebrows hit the ceiling, his jaw hit the floor and he turned bright red (he later said he felt his hairline recede an inch within a second). Maybe I could've built up to it a bit bless him but his reaction was truly priceless grin I was 26 and recently married, so not entirely unexpected surely.

Siblings I told face to face at about 7 weeks, I asked them how they felt about having a nephew/neice. Cheesy, but it worked. Similar with PIL, except DH actually told them.

I told my line manager at about 11weeks because I felt guilty about not changing a day off which I needed for my 12week scan. I told one other member of staff after the scan, knowing she would tell everyone else so I wouldn't have to.

I showed a scan pic to my wider family when we all met up, but by the time I saw them I was about 22 weeks and starting to show so there was lots of 'I knew it!'

Friends, either in person or by email/private fb message. I didn't broadcast the news on fb.

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