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Oh the ENDLESS things we can't do

(79 Posts)
Fairy130389 Sat 16-Feb-13 12:08:20

I was just told this morning that I couldn't have eyelash extensions because you have to lie down for so long!!!!!

When I've given birth I'm going to sit in a jacuzzi eating brie and Mr Whippy and having my eyelashes done.

SuckingDiesel Sun 17-Feb-13 11:04:29

Maybe Cherry was your midwife, MrsD grin

I had several scans in the last trimester...not once did they ask me to stand up because of the risk to me or the baby from lying down. I also had an epidural and constant fetal monitoring with a scalp probe during a 22 hour labour...guess what position I was in for most of that? wink

What a strange thread, I though it was going to be 'can 't see my feet anymore' rather than a last if what we can't do and there's not a lot? A few foods to avoid, no alcohol (my choice) be sensible and careful and as a grown woman make your own decisions. I'm pregnant not ill?

I'm 32 weeks just started mat leave (early due to other medical condition and several ops) but I still have two young dc to look after and still find time to eat plenty if kit kats smile I mean c'mon people, you're giving pregnant women z bad name here!!

MrsDeVere Sun 17-Feb-13 11:28:45

I think its more about 'what we are told we cannot do' rather than 'what we are not going to do'

Well not for me because I am not having a baby sad

I had my first two in the early 90s.
Last two at the end of 2007 and mid 2010

I was astounded at the amount of stuff that bombarded me with DCs 4 & 5.
When I had DCs 1 & 2 I read baby magazines and books and actively sought out information.
With the last two I felt I had to hide from it! It was coming at me from all angles.

I noticed the 'well we are not sure if it is harmful and it might not be but just in case dear' type of info was rife.

Why are women so infantalised when pregnant? At the very time that their confidence in their own abilities should be fostered, they are treated like idiots who cannot be trusted to do the right thing.

Maybe it was because I was in my 40s so was older than many of the professionals I saw, but I found it really annoying. I would be listening to someone virtually young enough to be my child telling me what 'mummies should and shouldn't do in case it harmed Baby'<head tilt> thinking about all the things I would like to do to harm the smug twit in front of me.

GrandPoohBah Sun 17-Feb-13 11:37:12

I was offered all the paperwork on 'what you cannot do or eat during pregnancy'. I politely declined, looked it up and then looked at the published statistics for risk.

I ate runny (lion stamped) eggs. And cured meat. And rare steak. And sushi. In fact, I ate all the things I've always eaten which have never given me food poisoning before, and are unlikely to suddenly start doing so in pregnancy...

I cut down my drinking (wasn't completely abstemious though...), didn't smoke and didn't eat any pate until my third trimester as it is documented that excessive fat based vitamin A can interfere with organ development, which is pretty much done in the 3rd trimester (I didn't eat much of it even so).

I took the precautions that I, as a reasonably intelligent educated adult, deemed necessary having gathered all the facts, and that's what I'd recommend to anyone.

Oh, and I went on holiday and sunbathed when I was 30wks. Getting hot whilst laying on my back - the horror!

MrsDeVere Sun 17-Feb-13 11:45:00

I think a lot of people assume that the food itself is dangerous/poisonous

that pregnancy somehow causes your body to process foods differently so eating brie is akin to drinking hemlock.

Not that food poisoning generally is nastier in pregnancy and the foods listed may pose a risk of food poisoning.

It doesn't mean that if you avoid eggs you can avoid food poisoning. How many women who are scared to go near a prawn will happily scarf a takeaway or eat from a buffet?

Its just another excuse for people to get involved in your business. I remember a thread where some young bloke at a coffee shop asked a MNer 'should you be drinking this?'... cheeky fecker shock

With DC1 I followed all the rules. DD is now 3 and I'm pregnant again, and the rules seem to have changed! So I thought, fuck it. I've had prawns, and tea, and wine, and I pinched some of DD's dippy eggs, and had the best rare steak I've ever cooked. I'm being extra careful with food prep and storage, but otherwise I'm doing what feels right. I don't normally like steak anything less than a good medium, but I'm very keen on rare right now, so I will eat it rare. Best of luck to anyone who dares say anything judgemental while I'm holding a steak knife. grin

CityDweller Sun 17-Feb-13 17:44:20

Actually, I think the organ meat/ VitA thing is overblown too (in fact, there's evidence demonstrating its importance in fetal growth). If I wanted to eat liver during pregnancy I would, just adhering to the normal 'healthy' amounts I'd eat when not pregnant (i.e. a portion, or 100-150g a week).

www.westonaprice.org/childrens-health/vitamin-a-for-fetal-development

SausageMother Sun 17-Feb-13 17:59:33

Most of the advice is just ridiculous isn't it. I had to bite my tongue when MIL said I shouldn't be carrying 20 month old DS at 38 weeks! Er...I feel fine and how do you think I get through the whole week without picking him up sometimes?!

Trazzletoes Sun 17-Feb-13 18:05:50

I think the difficulty is that health professionals have to assume the lowest common denominator and therefore that we are all incalculably stupid. So they advise complete bans when eating a small amount, or certain types of things etc would actually probably be ok.

If that was their advice there would always be people who would, for example, eat liver loads because they had been told a small amount was ok, and then could end up damaging their baby.

Trazzletoes Sun 17-Feb-13 18:08:32

Incidentally, DS has a compromised immune system and we have to follow the same food rules. I am absolutely 100% on them because I do not want to risk him getting sick from something avoidable. Just wondering if you would approach the rules differently in those circumstances and why... (I did not religiously follow the rules when pregnant though did avoid most foods)

PseudoBadger Sun 17-Feb-13 18:20:34

The problem is is that all the 'rules' have different reasons behind them. Some hazards you can eliminate through good management (lion marked eggs, hot, cooked prawns etc). Some you really can't do anything about - do you know if your bit of rump steak has the toxoplasma parasite within it? No, so IMO follow that guidance. Can you tell by sight or smell if your piece of soft cheese or pâté has listeria within it? No - and now you're part of a higher risk group by being pregnant, avoid it for now.
If something seems ridiculous (like the raw egg in soft ice cream!) research it and make your own choice. But please don't forget that your immune system has changed due to pregnancy and you really do have a higher risk of getting certain infections.

Can I just add that the guidelines are no more than 300mg of caffeine a day, not no caffeine.

That's about the same as just under 4 standard size cans of red bull.

Fairy130389 Sun 17-Feb-13 19:04:49

Another MIL anecdote (sometimes I wish she had her own comic strip) she was HORRIFIED that I was having baths 'too hot', when I had a tiny bit of spotting at 7 weeks she looked at me sadly and said 'see darling, it's all those baths'...

wispa31 Sun 17-Feb-13 22:35:24

dp's mum who is really lovely, has already told me im not to lift my arms up over my head as the cord will strangle the baby! poor woman, thats what they told mums to be back then and she really does believe it!

my mum had me and bro in 80s, she was never told not to eat this or that and smoked throughout both pregnancies (i personally dont agree with that. not healthy for you and defo not for a developing baby.)

Shellywelly1973 Mon 18-Feb-13 00:08:22

Personally alot of the things pregnant ladies are advised to avoid, i don't normally eat so i don't feel like im doing anything very different.

But, do women seriously not dye their hair??? I can't go 7months without highlites!

curlyclaz13 Mon 18-Feb-13 14:02:21

I am missing beer, goats cheese and licking the bowl when baking.

EuroShagmore Mon 18-Feb-13 14:28:46

I've just had a look at the NHS site, and I think it has improved since I last looked. It now explains WHY you are advised not to do something, rather than just stating it in a vacuum. It's important to understand the "why" - where the risk comes from - so you can assess whether it is a risk you want to take.

E.g. I've seen people posting on this site, terrified that they have harmed their baby because they lifted something. The advice not to lift heavy things is primarily to protect the mother, because pregnancy hormones relax ligaments. Without understanding why the advice is given, you cannot assess the risk.

HotSoupDumpling Mon 18-Feb-13 14:29:15

My MIL told me not to swim in public pools. hmm Well, I don't have a frickin private one...

A bit off-topic so in square brackets: ( Fairy, I also think my MiL deserves her own cartoon strip. She could have a toy developed in her likeness, one that says about 8 distinctive passive aggressive phrases, said at random when you press a button on its chest).

5madthings Mon 18-Feb-13 16:24:05

I still licked the bowl when baking, I use good quality free range, lion stamped eggs.

Goats cheese is OK cooked? I think I ate it uncooked as long as its pasteurized?

5madthings Mon 18-Feb-13 16:25:24

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2684.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=216

Some goats cheers are fine in pregnancy.

5madthings Mon 18-Feb-13 16:25:35

Cheeses!

HotSoupDumpling Mon 18-Feb-13 16:30:19

Good link 5mad, thanks - it led me to an NHS page that said that I can eat stilton ! Will head straight to the cheese aisle during my next supermarket shop...

5madthings Mon 18-Feb-13 16:35:07

Ooh enjoy!

I think the only thing I avoided was pate and I was careful to wash fruit and vet and bagged salad but I ate most things.

I realize i have no children and therefore am not an expert but i was amazed when someone told me his pg DW couldnt eat sushi or smoked salmon..NHS website says its just fine (sushi if its been frozen first and smoked salmon is fine anyway apparently). here

I dont understand where half of it comes from.

And only eating cooked shellfish ? People eat raw shellfish ? Bleugh. I dont need telling that one either !

Mawgatron Mon 18-Feb-13 16:51:53

Actually cherry, isn't the salmonella risk that the mother may get sick, not the unborn child?
Oh, and wind your neck in!

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