Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Anyone else hate being pregnant and need somewhere safe to whinge?

(100 Posts)
BelleEtLaBaby Sun 10-Feb-13 17:22:18

Disclaimer 1: this is my 2nd, very wanted and tried for pregnancy. I'm delighted to be adding to my family.

Disclaimer 2: I in no way wish to offend or upset anyone dealing with pg loss, infertility etc who would probably willingly trade places with me and all my grumbles. I do know I am lucky and I really don't want to piss anyone off.

BUT.

I hate pregnancy. Oh, I hate this. I get HG and have a bunch of other issues which mean the whole thing is a slog from beginning to end. I'm exhausted. Constantly vomiting. Bedridden. I'm still carrying my weight from last pg and am only going to look worse after this as I get awful stretch marks and saggy uncared for skin. I can't eat anything except pork chops and chips due to the hg - and I'm a massive foodie in real life, so I'm bored of my food (and bored of seeing it twice!).

We had awful nt results last time (1:2, ds is fine after all) so I am petrified about my scan and will worry continually.

And I'm losing my hair again!

I am so pleased to be having another baby, but the cooking process is something I endure, not enjoy. But I really feel like if I try and sound off in real life I get the following responses:

A. I should count myself lucky to be pg and shut up (usually not from who have had problems ttc, afaik, who are usually lovely. More people who cite other people who have had issues.
B. I shouldn't complain in case I have a mc. Which makes no sense to me - I'm a bit practical and if I did have a mc, I wouldn't associate this with anything I said or thought.
C. I got pg by choice so it's 'self inflicted'.

Well, even if all those people are right, I'm still sick as a dog, and don't enjoy my pregnancies like others do. Can I make this Fred a safe place to have a waaaaah without getting flamed? Please?

Waaaaaah smile

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 12-Feb-13 08:34:17

Yep. Happy due date - but no signs! FFS let this Hell be OVER. i cant take any more.
If my partner asks "whats up?!" one more time I will smother him with my pregnancy pillow.
I moan - a lot! - and all i get is other people telling me how much they did during pregnancy and how they cant understand why itd b so hard for me. MY Grandma said "well i had 4! And i was cooking dinner whilst in labour". Brilliant. It was the 40s! F@%K off.
Can i also moan abt the bitches who boast about "oooh im having mine via thesun roof on (specific date) so happy i dont have to go through the hell of natural labour again!"
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK COW!!!!!

sorry - i am at the end of my rope.

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 12-Feb-13 08:36:13

GET IT OUUUUYUUTTTTTTTT.

PhieEl06 Tue 12-Feb-13 11:17:04

Is it bad I'm bored of being pregnant now? (ready to be told how silly I am), I haven't had an awful pregnancy so far but definitely have sympathy for those who have, but I just feel like July is a lifetime away, I don't feel very PG other than being fatter & more miserable so it feels like I'm living a bit of a lie & I'm bored of that also impatiently waiting for the lovely glowing stage which is not coming along as quickly as I thought. Am I just being a whiner? I've had it okay so far but I really want to fast forward time.

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 12-Feb-13 13:58:56

No u are not a whiner - some women must like it. But i hate it. Im embracing that fact.

rainand Tue 12-Feb-13 14:16:01

Yes, go for it! smile

Pregnancy has been a pain for me, one thing after the other.

I do wish I could be from those who had an easy pregnancy and hence enjoyed it. I'm trying my best to but it hasn't always been possible.

sharni20 Tue 12-Feb-13 14:20:37

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

rrreow Tue 12-Feb-13 14:22:34

I intensely dislike being pregnant! This is my second too and urgh, I just want to get to the end of it! I have less to complain about than you though, HG sound really awful.

I also hate how you're apparently not allowed to complain, it actually makes it all WORSE than if you were free to complain and get some sympathy. I'm lucky though in that my DH is very supportive and very appreciative of how much I'm hating it!

BelleEtLaBaby Tue 12-Feb-13 14:58:44

Saw some photos of Peaches bloody Geldof on the net today. Made me all stabby. Bitch looks lovely.

Took all my waah rage out on Holly Willoughby last time. She went into labour, early, on my due date. I was inconsolable. Dh was like, what's wrong? I literally wept at him "Holly Willoughby stole my labour!" blush

I've no idea why it's so taboo to complain. We're all supposed to be this stereotypical glowy, serene, happy person in pregnancy. For me, the reality just isn't like that. The hg is lifting now but I still have all the other early pregnancy stuff. I'm still losing my hair, getting spotty, soooo tired, tearful, grumpy, my nice things don't fit me, I've got heartburn (already??) and Im still not at my scan date so The Fear is still there.

Oh, and everyone deciding that you have become amazingly stupid now you're pregnant. I swear I felt the baby move a couple of times. Now, I know it's early (very early) but I'm in my second pregnancy, and I'm spending most of it laying down. I am an intelligent woman and I have been piloting this body around for a long time. I know what wind feels like. And I know what a tiny, faint but unmistakable wriggle feels like too. But everyone goes 'no, you didn't.' Um, sorry, are you in my actual body now? Have I become unable to make judgements now? Dh keeps questioning what I eat and, while I know he has only got our best interests at heart, I want to kill him. I'm doing my very best.

Feeling very waaaaaah today. We are moving at the weekend and as I am so crippled with this hg and being pg, everyone has just planned it all around me and I'm totally excluded, down to people keep saying stuff like "don't you worry about it. It's all under control." I WANT to worry about it. I'm a huge control freak and I love this bit of moving house, deciding where everything goes etc. Dh just said I should be thankful I won't be moving boxes all day! But I WANT to and I HATE the fact that I can't!!! Waah waah waah sad

Phew that feels better smile

PhieEl06 Tue 12-Feb-13 19:23:25

Belle oh my god I have this pregnancy jealousy too, if Kate & Wills have their baby the same day as me I will not be happy (I will be over the moon because of my beautiful baby being born but...) THEY WILL STEAL MY PREGNANCY THUNDER. I'm already getting the "ooo wouldn't it be lovely if it was a royal baby." Well no, quite frankly in my opinion that's the worst idea, my child will live its life based on who it shares its birthday with! Okay so maybe I am overreacting & my mom is just laughing at me as I have just ranted to her about this but in a very grrr mood today!!

Fairlygrounded Tue 12-Feb-13 21:36:08

I agree - pregnancy sucks!! Last time I swear I had post-natal euphoria - terrible pregnancy, 5 stone fatter, 2 weeks overdue, 3 day failed induction. When I was on that operating table being stitched up after my c-sec I swear I've never been so relaxed or happy!! And it never left - midwives checking me for post- natal depression made me laugh - I was like are you kidding me? My baby is over there, like over there, not in me - woohoo!!
25 weeks pregnant with No2, not quite as bad but I count down the weeks left every day (which is ridiculous in itself). Booked in for a section as it'll take 3 weeks off the last pregnancy - bring it on!!

BelleEtLaBaby Wed 13-Feb-13 11:44:02

Fairly I was exactly like that. I was euphoric the day after DS was born. The mw gave me the stupid little quiz thing which was their highly scientific method of diagnosing PND and I wrote on it "I literally could not be happier" and the mw was all hmm but I explained to her: look! Im not pregnant anymore!!! You don't understand how good that feels! I can eat!

MumofWombat Wed 13-Feb-13 14:21:32

I'm 32 weeks with DC2 and am soooooo over this.
From sickness, to heartburn (I am single handlly responsible for gaviscons profits I reckon), to pelvic pain, pregnancy insomnia, piles, constant loo trips etc etc.
I may have had a bit of a shout at DH yesterday that he had got no idea how bad it was.
And I don't have a proper bump, I just look fatter all over (you can see a bit of a bump when I'm laying down and naked) so I don't even get sympathy looks from strangers.
I am NOT doing this again.

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 13-Feb-13 15:22:00

mumofawombat I too have spent pounds on gaviscon - only to find out its available on prescription x

Jojobump1986 Wed 13-Feb-13 15:41:25

grin at post-pregnancy-euphoria. That should so be a 'thing'! I'll probably get it this time. Last time I was really weepy for the first 36 hours but I'd actually enjoyed being pregnant. Forgotten what that's like now! sad

Today, drinking water makes me feel sick. I'm 24 weeks. This should've passed by now & I should be feeling fabulous.

12+6 & counting until I can start actively trying to jiggle him out!

gertrudestein Thu 14-Feb-13 09:14:21

I'm so relieved I found this thread! Thank you!!

I have spent the last few weeks bawling my eyes out, and feeling like a terrible person because I can't stand being pregnant. I feel like my whole identity has been subsumed in this - I don't have any energy, I can barely walk because of shooting pains down my leg, I'm much more stupid than normal, I'm moody and angry and emotional all the time, I'm putting on loads of weight, clothes don't fit from one day to the next, and EVERYONE THINKS THEY CAN COMMENT ON IT.

I work with a bunch of women who don't have kids and who keep on making 'jokes' about how I'm just doing this to get out of work. WTF????

And don't even get me started on all the things you're not meant to do. PLUS the people who 'hardly noticed' they were pregnant, only put on 2 stone, didn't buy any maternity clothes, skipped from pregnancy yoga classes to crocheting hand made baby blankets, popped the baby out without any painkillers and can't understand why I'm terrified that something dreadful will happen, that my nascent mothering skills are so bad that I've already jeopardised the baby by eating/ moving/ bloody thinking the wrong way, and - even worse - the dawning reality that the baby might end up like me.

I know how lucky I am. We spent two years trying. But this is effing horrible.

3rdtimelucky73 Fri 15-Feb-13 01:27:52

Gertrude, I really hope you feel better for writing that all down - I certainly did ready it. Thanks for laugh grin

3rdtimelucky73 Fri 15-Feb-13 01:28:19

*reading (sorry on phone)

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 15-Feb-13 12:44:01

Morning all! Am very waaah today. Made the mistake of watching 'I didn't know I was pregnant' yesterday and it made me all ragey. How is that possible?!?!

GingaNinja Fri 15-Feb-13 20:45:54

<Knocks politely on door>

Pls let me join. I know I've only just done test but MASSIVE shock.

I thought it was an early menopause blush.

DD took most of my thirties ie 6 yrs and a substantial 5 figure sum-worth of fertility treatment ending up with IVF and being advised that pg wouldn't have happened without the drugs etc as my innards are crap.

Who the f**k has a newborn at 42?!?! (which is what I'll be).

Oh god; heartburn. Weight gain. Pissing for England every 5 mins. My boobs are already 3 sizes bigger. Oh god oh god oh god.

Sorry, I will be delighted I'm just utterly utterly eyeball-rotating-adrenalin-soaked shocked.

Oh god....toilet training again.....sorry that's a diff thread. smile

scruffylady Fri 15-Feb-13 21:53:37

Yes me to, I don't really like it. I really want this baby and have waited a long time for it. But it is so uncomfortable and painful and all the usual symptoms you know... also and annoyingly I dont understand why it means everyone can tell you how much they were superhumanly able to do until literally the last minute of pregnancy. As a horse person all I EVER hear is how they were riding till their baby just literally popped out because they were all so much younger than me and such fabulous horsewomen they could ride literally while in labour. I mean what do these people have to prove! Anyway I feel better now, rant over, sorry!

sparkle101 Fri 15-Feb-13 21:55:03

Oh my god. I need this thread! Am 14.5 and feel like I have been pregnant forever. Did an early response test so known since 3.5.

Oh my god. I have had hg, extreme tiredness and just feel so shite. I hate being pregnant more than I can possibly say. Added to the fact dh announces he wants a third after this. Um no!

I hate being pregnant.

BelleEtLaBaby Fri 15-Feb-13 22:12:37

Come in, come in, and bring your woes. No super women allowed smile

pinkbear82 Fri 15-Feb-13 23:46:40

Wish I'd read this sooner!
24 weeks gone and suffering with HG and just as I was coping and getting back to work I get stuck in hospital with kidney problems that won't resolve until baby is born. While in hospital DP looses his job, now I'm off sick again my wages have gone down.
It's one thing after another. I don't feel at all prepared. It's my first baby DP's 3rd.
I'm a hormonal tired mess, that feels like I'm failing at everything and can't see an end in sight.

So sorry so many of us are having such a rubbish time - hugs to all - things can only get better right?!

BelleEtLaBaby Tue 19-Feb-13 11:42:15

Today's whinge: everyone around me deciding what I should eat, as if in some way my decisions can't be trusted? Am all stabby at my mil who keeps making me pork chop and jacket potato at every single meal (long story as to why she's doing all the cooking) regardless of what anyone else is having, and without asking! Waaaa. 28 weeks to go (is that all?!)

sparkle101 Tue 19-Feb-13 13:57:02

Am I the only one hanging around the antenatal club boards waiting for the next months club to begin so I know I'm another month closer to popping?!?!?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now