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Second time new mums?(34 Posts)
I have just found out that I'm pregnant again (due October). I have a 17 mo DS.
Any other second time Mums around?
i'm second time new mum baby due in july..... 22 YEARS since last DD was born!!! any one beat that age gap???
I have a 22 month old DS1 with DS2 due end March. This PG has gone by so fast so no time to worry! Just bought a "tandem" pram and I'm more nervous at steering the bloody thing than labour!!
I'm starting to feel the first flutterings of excitement today. But tonight we start the long road to wean DS. I looked into tandem feeding but I just don't fancy it. So I thought I'd start early and give him 8 months to get used to the idea. We might need that.
<eyes DS furiously suckling away>
He's currently on a kingsize mattress on the floor of his nursery. He's been a cot refuser since birth and I've never pushed it. So I play musical beds between my own bed and his mattress - was worried about him falling out of our bed, hence the mattress idea. I do want to set him up a little bedroom and bed before the interloper arrives though. It'll make bugger all difference to how he sleeps (he'll still want to be with me) but at least it'll be a start and visitors will no longer think he sleeps in a squat.
The next big challenge is to persuade him that daddy can cuddle in the night time too. At the moment, it's all about mummy and The Boob. DH isn't rushing to help with that one, funnily enough
DS is only 18mo, and not much of a talker yet, so no idea how much he understands, but he loves to stroke and pat my naked belly, and lean his face against it. I don't know if he's heard anything in there, or if he has any idea, but everyone is always talking about the new baby, he was at both scans, and has been to antenatal appts and heard her heartbeat. I've not attempted an 'explanation'.
We need to swap bedrooms over before she's born, am hoping furiously that this won't upset him!
We've told DS (19m) and this evening he rubbed my belly & said "baby!"
We've bought him a couple of books (Waiting for Baby; Lulu reads to Zeki) and he's always asking us to read them to him, so I'm hopeful he'll be excited & not feel too marginalised hopeful face. He's the only GC at the mo so always centre of attention!
We'll be keeping DS's room as it is and the baby will be in Moses basket in our room. When the time comes we'd put baby in our (current) spare room as no room in DS's room.
Nice to "meet" you all
We haven't really told DS yet. He's only 15 months & his only words so far are giggle (tickle), Daddy & duck so I think it'll be a little while yet before he gets to the stage where he might understand! We talk about the baby in front of him though - it's never been a secret!
As far as sleeping arrangements go, DS1 is still in our room in his cot because we have a single bed in what will be his room & no space for the cot. The plan is to co-sleep with DS2, or put him in a moses basket if he's like DS1 & won't sleep unless left alone! For DS1s second birthday we're going to make a big fuss of him being a big boy now & get him a new mattress
because the current one is nearly 30 years old! & bedding & a bed-guard so he can go into his room. DS2 will be 4 months by this point & we'll move the cot back against our bed with the side off & semi-co-sleep with him in his own little extension like we did with DS1! We're going to make a big thing of making DS1 feel like he's a big boy, rather than give the impression that he's being kicked out of his cot/our room in favour of the baby. We may well stick to co-sleeping/moses basket for a month or 2 after we move DS1 out so he doesn't feel replaced!
Can you tell I'm a little concerned about how he'll react to the new baby? He's generally a v placid/accepting child so it'll probably be fine but I guess it's the sort of thing you can't predict!
atrcts we've still got DS1 in our bedroom as he's not a brilliant sleeper. he still spends most nights (at least the second half) in our bed. i keep telling myself that there's lots of time for him to get "better", 4 months are an eternity for a toddler after all, and we'll
jump off cross that bridge when we come to it.
I too am expecting dc 2 got a positive yesterday! due 17 oct by my dayes. ds is 2.5 feel a little anxious about having a second. ds is quite clingy (mummy's boy ) congratulations all
Bella... Had to laugh at your story of "baby in the tummy", my DS goes around saying that all the time. He was present at my 12 week scan so we explained it all to him then. He keeps asking everyone else if they have a 'baby in the tummy' and pulls up his top to tell me he has! He hasn't quite mastered the idea that only mummy has the baby in the tummy and that he will instead be the very special big brother!
Just out of interest, is everyone planning to change DC 1's room/bed BEFORE giving birth, or wait til 5/6 months post partum (or whatever time you move them out of your room) when the baby will need its own room?
Yes me too ! Found out today !
Due October 12th
I have a 3.9yr dd
I am 26 wks booked in for c-section 8th May. I have a 7 year old dd. I am scared seems like a life time ago that I had to change nappies + do night feeds. I'm very excited for my dd she will be an amazing big sister to her little brother. Congratulations to u all
marking my spot as well. just got home from the 20 week scan, DS1 (15 months now) will have a little brother in june! now off to work.
congrats all around!
Marking my spot. 10wks with DC2, DS is 22mo.
Am very ill again with HG this time around, so I have the added guilt of mummy can't get off the sofa to deal with too! I do have little niggles about how DS will respond. We've told him already, that there is a baby in my tummy, and he kisses the baby (of his own accord! Too cute!). He will also suggest names if asked. We sort of wanted him to have lots of time with the idea. My best mate did this with her dd's and it worked really well. DS says 'my baby' which makes me feel happy and less guilty.
Although we did have a funny conversation when he was asking did his daddy have a baby in his tummy? Did nanna? Did gram gram? Etc. Now he says 'baby in the tummy. Only mummy." In a very matter of fact way.
And there was an interesting moment after an episode of Peppa in which mummy rabbit has the babies and he kept patting my tummy and saying 'baby rabbits' with a huge grin on his face! I think he was almost disappointed
When/how will/have you tell your existing Dc's?
I have DD1 and had DD2 13 weeks ago. I spent my whole pregnancy stressing about DD1 who had been the centre of our universe and how we were probably about to wreck her life.
I was due for a c section and I also stressed about DD1 visit to the hospital. I knew the "don't hold baby as older sibling arrives" and the have a present from baby to big sister but she also added. A HV suggested it was Daddy brought DD1 in and daddy took her home so that she's not "leaving the new family behind."
I'm here to tell you it has all been fine, it would be easier if I had an extra arm admittedly. You really do have enough love to go around and your DC1 copes brilliantly. In truth they ignore the baby a lot, which is preferable to swinging them round like a doll of course.
I love my 2 girls so much, just this morning DD1 said I want to hold her and we did a tame version of row your boat. DD2 is a real smiler and some days when she looks at her big sister her face almost cracks in two.
by the way the gap is 2 yrs 4 months.
Sorry this is so long but I just hope I have helped just a wee bit, don't be like me and waste your pregnancy with needless worry.
Me! DC2 due on 3 July. My son is 7 months old so there'll be about 13 months between them <faints>
I'm expecting DS2 in early
more likely to be mid June when DS1 will be 19.5 months! Should be an interesting challenge having them so close together, especially if #2 is like #1. He's so independent that he just happily wanders off without a second glance & would willingly go with anyone who called him! It's a bit scary but thankfully he does seem to be getting a bit cuddlier now so that makes up for my abandonment issues when he doesn't pay any attention to me when we're out!
Hi, I have a 19mo and another due at the end of August - I posted before when I found out I was pg as I was really upset. Still pretty shocked about it all to be honest as feels like with 1 you have a child in your family but with 2 you just become 'mum' and the kids have taken over. So pleased this guilt towards first child seems a common thing. Thought maybe I was a bit warped!
I've got a son just turned two & got a positive test on his second birthday last week. Also due October,come & join the antenatal club thread,if you're that way inclined!
I feel a bit like I'm being disloyal to DS but I know in the long run having a sibling will be good for him. Have no effing idea how I'm going to manage with two! However it is really exciting!
Oh FredKiller. Try not to worry too much. There's ages til the new baby arrives & your DS will have changed loads by then. You'll have lots of time to make gentle changes to your routine (if you want to) in preparation for the new arrival.
I feel a bit sad for DS that he'll have to share the limelight with our new DC and a new cousin (due same time as SIL) when he's been the only child & grandchild but I'm trying to talk to him about it loads & hope he'll be excited.
Oh I'm glad it's not just me. Got my BFP in weds. I really wanted another but now I'm struggling with my feelings a bit. DS is 19mo, still bfs loads and we co-sleep. Everything is going to have to change now and I feel weepy when I should be excited .
DS is 18mo, DD due 5th of March!
Have been feeling guilty the whole time about DS having to share mummy and daddy - he won't be the centre of attention any more, but I guess that's probably a good thing
It will be hard work, but we reckon we will be stopping at 2, so all that small frustrated person stuff should be over sooner rather than later!
I have a 2 year old and a 10 week old. Didn't see how I could love anyone as much as DS1 but DS2 arrived and I fell just as ridiculously in love with him. It's amazing watching them together.
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