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How do you know everything's ok?

(53 Posts)
BraveLilBear Wed 30-Jan-13 17:41:07

Having a momentary wobble. I'm 15+2 by scan, probably less in reality.

Sickness has eased up (yay!), feeling less tired (also good), but don't yet have any bump, haven't put much weight on (thanks to sickness) and can't yet feel movement.

How do you know everything's ok? I have my 16week check on Monday, but apparently some midwives refuse to check heartbeat in case it's hard to find, thus causing panic.

I have no 'bad' symptoms, and don't have any feeling of dread, but I am worrying a bit. Anything I can do to reassure myself?

BraveLilBear Tue 05-Feb-13 11:30:26

Hey Cogito nice to hear from you! Glad everything's ok. Remember the mantra - today I am pregnant smile

Easier said than done but try not to worry about 20 week scan. There's nothing you can do to change anything, so just focus on making an awesome home for your little one in the meantime. Fingers crossed all round!

weeblueberry Tue 05-Feb-13 11:36:37

I think the best thing that helped me in the lead up to the 20 week scan was doing a lot of research as to what they were looking for and what the potential issues might be. It means that had she brought anything up I would have had a bit of background on what questions to ask, whether the problem was incompatible with life etc. For a lot of people this might make them more anxious but I like to have all the information I can before going into something. We also had a good look online at what a 20 week scan should look like and what positions the baby might be in.

cogitosum Tue 05-Feb-13 21:15:09

bravelilbear that mantra is great it has really helped me and I've been sharing it to other people who've been worried!

weeblueberry that's what I've been trying to do, I think I'm just scaring myself though! I think we're similar in that respect though- Im definitely one for wanting all the available information.

marushka82 Thu 07-Feb-13 13:55:00

oh god, I'm freaking out. 16 wk appointment tomorrow and I'm scared (although there are absolutely no signs that anything is wrong, no pains, nothing).
To top it off, just read a thread about girls with low risk after screening giving birth to babies with DS.
I'm trying to stay positive but the worry is always at the back of my head... sad

photographerlady Thu 07-Feb-13 14:14:42

I bought a doppler too, I use it once a week to not frighten the little bean but it does give me peace of mind. Second hand off ebay

BraveLilBear Thu 07-Feb-13 15:21:31

Hey Marushka I just read that thread too. I think though that is basically terrible luck, and, as the odds would suggest, unlikely to happen very often.

Good luck for tomorrow - I'm sure it will go fine. You can always talk to the midwife about your worries - she may be able to put your mind at rest.

marushka82 Mon 11-Feb-13 15:24:00

Hey BraveLilBear thanks!
I asked the mw whether she'd listen to the heartbeat but she told me they don't do it because at this stage of the pregnancy it might be hard to find it and they don't want to scare the women unnecessarily.
I did mention my concerns to her and she said I should try and be positive as I'm overall healthy and in the very low risk group.
So I'm going to wait patiently for my 20wk scan - not too long now, just over two weeks!

HJBeans Mon 11-Feb-13 15:48:20

Hi maruska - sorry you didn't get a chance to listen in.

Just back from my MW. When I asked about listening in, she stopped to explain that it often couldn't be heard and that she wouldn't take any further action if she couldn't find a HB and I should think about whether I'd be ok with that and did I still want her to try. I of course said yes, and she found the HB instantly which was a great relief. (Hours ago now and I'm still smiling!)

Think it's a shame there isn't a policy on this sort of thing which is applied consistently and assumes women are clever enough to understand and make an informed choice about 'there are many reasons this might not work, do you want to try?'

At any rate, hope the next two weeks goes quickly for you. The stats are well and truly on your side for all being well. smile

HJBeans Mon 11-Feb-13 15:48:53

Ps - this was my 16 week check, but I'm just at 15w5.

BraveLilBear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:26:33

Good for you Beans - totally agree there should be some sort of consistency. Besides anything else, the midwife said she could hear the baby was ok before even hearing the heartbeat which suggests there are other signs to listen out for (or maybe she was just lying to reassure me).

Sorry they weren't as helpful for you Marushka but love the Positive Mental Attitude and really not long for 20week scan smile

marushka82 Mon 18-Feb-13 18:00:01

Just a quick update from me: I have a UTI which started yesterday so went to see my GP this morning. She prescribed some antibiotics and when I mentioned I'm worried about waiting until 20 wk scan she offered to listen to baby's heartbeat! She found it after 5 seconds and it was an awesome experience for me, let alone it made me feel much better and calmed me down so I can now wait until the end of this month for a scan.
Yay!

HJBeans Mon 18-Feb-13 18:50:47

Hooray! Fantastic news and so glad you got the chance to be reassured. Silver lining for a UTI anyway! smile

HJBeans Mon 18-Feb-13 18:56:12

I had my extra private scan on Sat - extremely reassuring to have a very thorough look at the baby and see all is well. Also now know it's a wee boy.

Celebrated with a long walk in the hills, though, and now panicking over lower abdominal pain and a bit of discharge which I'm sure is nothing. My mind seems to go a bit nuts with panic just after I'm utterly reassured before settling down to a more happy and sane state till the next scan / listen in / etc.

Really looking forward to when I can feel him move and expected decrease in anxious wobbles...

marushka82 Mon 18-Feb-13 19:19:47

HJBeans haha, definitely silver lining! :D Have to go back to work tomorrow (well, don't HAVE to, but probably should) and I can imagine I'd spend half the day running to the loo!

And congratulations to you on your little boy! I can't wait for my scan (only 11 days now, yay!).

On a different note (I don't want to start a new thread, so I thought since you ladies were so nice to me you might know something about this): DH and I are thinking of moving outside of M25 (somewhere west, Berks or Bucks); we're currently in Ealing and my hospital of choice is Queen Charlotte - if we move before the due date, do I have to change the hospital? I'd love to avoid that if possible, I heard a lot of good things about QC smile

cogitosum Mon 18-Feb-13 19:44:54

marushka sorry can't help with your question. I doubt they'll make you change though. Yay for nice gp and heating HB

hjbeans I had my 20 week scan this morning and I'm having a boy too!

marushka82 Fri 01-Mar-13 13:14:17

Girls, I'm back here to say I had my 20wk scan yesterday, baby is healthy, has all toes, fingers, heart is ok etc! The sonographer was very nice and made me feel at ease. It's such an amazing experience as the level of detail is much higher than at 12 wks.
Aaand we found out we're having a wee GIRL! yay! Chuffed to bits!
Good luck to all the ladies here who are still waiting for their scans!

Reebok Fri 01-Mar-13 18:01:37

Bravelilbear, I don't think that fear of wondering if everything is ok goes. I'm almost 20 weeks, been feeling flutters (or at least I think so!) and still freak out every day about losing lil one. Mainly because I had a mmc last year. Scan is next Tuesday so pls wish me luck. Am so scared like I was for 12 week scan!

Reebok Fri 01-Mar-13 18:03:21

Marushka...congrats on the positive scan. Glad bubz is ok...and so exciting to be having a girl! smile

HJBeans Sat 02-Mar-13 09:37:10

Congrats Marushka! So glad to hear all's going well for you! smile
Welcome, Reebok.

HJBeans Sat 02-Mar-13 09:39:12

Oooh. Seem to have missed a post by cognito. Belated congrats on a good scan and on your little boy! I keep seeing wee boys when out and about and thinking about our own. Feels a lot more real now we know. Hope all continues well for you. Xx

HJBeans Sat 02-Mar-13 09:41:10

Sigh... And now I've typoed your name as well, cogito. Should really not post before first cup of tea. blush Though now it's decaf, it doesn't help as much with making me more sensible...

Reebok Mon 04-Mar-13 20:41:38

Thanks hjbeans. I have my 20 week scan tomorrow and I'm convinced something will go wrong. Very scared right now! Argh

HJBeans Tue 05-Mar-13 07:53:41

Good luck for tomorrow, Reebok - mine's next Thursday. Know all about per-scan nerves, but of course the overwhelming likelihood is that all will be fine. I know stats don't help much when the fear strikes, though.

What helps me a bit is to think "I'll feel dreadful if something is wrong and having worried about it in advance won't change that. Might as well try to enjoy this time I have when, for all I know, everything's fine."

Doesn't do it all the time though - sometimes I just accept the worry as a pregnancy symptom and try to make myself as comfortable as possible with it.

Anyway, good luck! At least you'll get to spend lots of time looking at your little one as they thoroughly check all the wee parts of him/her. Let us know if you're enjoying the all clear tomorrow.

marushka82 Tue 05-Mar-13 11:49:15

Girls, I've had exactly the same thoughts before the scan, I was convinced that because everything has been going smoothly so far I will be 'punished' somehow and something will go wrong at the scan. As a result I was a bit stressed when the scan started and the sonographer had to remind me to keep breathing and relax so she could see the baby properly.
After that it was an amazing experience as you can see so many details. Try to relax as much as possible and think about millions of women who give birth to healthy babies. The probability of anything going wrong is really really small!
Good luck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you - let us know how it went!

Reebok Tue 05-Mar-13 11:59:59

It went brilliantly ladies! I'm so happy! Was really scared because before it started, I could hear a lady screaming and in tears next door. Feel so bad for her. But thankfully my lil one is fine! smile

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