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Feeling like a bitch and don't care

(21 Posts)
Dogsmom Tue 29-Jan-13 15:22:55

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my first and feeling so bitchy towards family & friends, it sounds so petulant but I'm almost enjoying being antisocial, it's like I'm waiting for any excuse to snap at someone and cut them from my life.

The only person who doesn't irritate me is my husband, in fact I'm feeling super affectionate towards him, I'm assuming it's just hormones but am also worried that the feelings wont subside once the baby is here.

It's starting to affect my enjoyment of the pregnancy because I'm getting wound up about having to share her with other people once she's here, I'm dreading having to have visitors round and my hairs prickle if anyone mentions that they are excited about her arrival.

It sounds so immature and I should feel blessed that I have people who care and that she'll be loved by more than just her Dad & I but for some reason I can't stop feeling like this, I've even spent ages doing sums and trawling the internet for houses miles from here so we can move and just be the 3 of us!

Does it get better or is this how being a Mum feels?

sundaesundae Tue 29-Jan-13 15:25:56

I get you, I get really annoyed when people talk about being excited about MY baby. I am thinking it is just hormones and when she is here it will all be fine.

I hope it is the same with you, we're on the home straight, we'll find out soon enough smile

TinkyPeet Tue 29-Jan-13 15:30:57

Was exactly the same with my first, didn't want anyone to come anywhere near him and dished out aload of rules and avoided lots of people, I wouldn't say it changed instantly when he was out but after a good cry and a nice soak without being kicked from the inside, other than making everyone wash their hands before touching him I was fine!! And even if you are a bitch so what! You'll have just had a baby!

16 wks with my third and still enjoying being a bitch :D. Xx

WaynettaSlobsLover Tue 29-Jan-13 15:38:18

I am 16 weeks and a total bitch. I'm livid about everything lately and I'm trying to cope with a whingeing four year old and toddler who is teething. It's a nightmare and tbh I want to run away today angry

pictish Tue 29-Jan-13 15:40:03

Yabu. Being pg is not a licence to treat people badly.

WaynettaSlobsLover Tue 29-Jan-13 15:41:36

Pictish do naff off. It's hormones which can be uncontrollable from time to time. So she is not unreasonable.

weeblueberry Tue 29-Jan-13 15:47:30

pictish she's not posted this in AIBU. She's just venting her feelings and they're entirely hormonally driven and normal at this stage. I also took from the message that the OPs not being outwardly horrid to people but is just feeling tense and crabby.

TinkyPeet Tue 29-Jan-13 15:47:33

How very helpful Pictish!! You must have been one of the 'lucky' ones who didn't experience any hormones or emotions during pregnancy, well done! Would you like a medal??!!
It is NOT in any way unreasonable to feel any emotion during pregnancy!

Eletheomel Tue 29-Jan-13 16:00:01

I was the same, esp regarding my inlaws who seemed more excited than me and were buying baby stuff way way before we did (my MIL had a whole box of stuff to look after the baby and we hadn't bought anything - I felt like saying, it's my f***ng baby, not yours and there is no way in hell I'll be leaving it with you when it's so young.

I didn't say that, but I did think it, and as it transpired my in-laws didnt' get to spend any time alone with my DS until he had just turned 1 - (I was breastfeeding so was always there with him, mind you, nobody did apart from my DH, I just wasn't prepared to leave him with anyone until I was ready for it.

They're obsession about their grandchild (to the exclusion of their son etc) really pee-ed me off, felt like they were trying to kidnap him from birth (when he was weeks old, they were asking when I'd be expressing milk so they could feed him!)

Anyway, just wanted to say that it is perfectly normal to want to go away the three of you and escape the madness of other people suddenly wanting to meddle in your life and take over your child (they're not really trying to do that, they just want to share in the joy - but that's what it felt like to me, and am thinking maybe you're the same :-)

twilight81 Tue 29-Jan-13 16:31:22

I felt like I could commit murder while I was pregnant.. Certain people who normally I loved really irritated me.
However I think plotting to move away to be just you 3 may be a tad too much lol.. You would soon get fed up, you will be greatful to set sight on another human being who can free your hands up for a minute while you go for a wee in peace after a few weeks :0)

CareerGirl01 Tue 29-Jan-13 16:35:06

I'm the mist mild mannered person I know and put up with lots my friends and family wouldn't. But this pregnancy I have been a bit of a bitch at times; have to say you probably aren't being as bitchy as you think if you've even posted about it; real bitches don't care and doubt you are one if those!!!

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 29-Jan-13 17:34:36

I get what you mean about wanting to put you, your baby and your partner in a little bubble and just for it to be the 3 of you - totally get that. And a friend said that too - that the 3 of them have their own little world. I could murder my mother every time she says anything "helpful" - and if she says "my baby" one more time. IT'S MY BABY!!!!

But as a balance - I ONLY have my partner and no friends and no family (other than mother some wends) because I moved to a new town at beginning of pregnancy. So at the moment (38 weeks) I would KILL for some friends/company/care other than my partner's.

Sending you hugs and blame it on the hormones brew

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 29-Jan-13 17:36:39

ps - it is perfectly reasonable to tell all of them to leave you alone for the first 2 weeks (or more) of you having your new baby at home. You don't HAVE to have visitors. I intend on telling mother that grin

Dogsmom Tue 29-Jan-13 18:22:42

Thanks everyone, it's nice to know I'm normal, I haven't BEEN a bitch to anyone, just felt like it and it's taking a lot of self control, I wont move away either although if I have a lottery win......

iamwhaticallpregnant I have my Mum saying the same about 'my baby' and 'our baby' and it really narks me, bearing in mind she's told me in the past that if she had her time again she wouldn't have kids.

pictish Tue 29-Jan-13 19:26:52

Yes I felt the same...of course I was crabby and narky.

it sounds so petulant but I'm almost enjoying being antisocial, it's like I'm waiting for any excuse to snap at someone and cut them from my life

I didn't though because I have manners and self control.

Sorry to not congratulate someone for being rude and self indulgent.

pictish Tue 29-Jan-13 19:34:12

Ahhhh I seee....feeling like it is very different from doing it!

Yy I bloody felt like it for sure!

You wrote the OP as though you were following it through. Apologies, I misunderstood.

Stepawayfromthesweeties Tue 29-Jan-13 20:01:51

I'm so glad I've read this, as my mil is also referring to our baby as 'my baby'. She's grandchild obsessed and smothers her other one to death, so I'm trying to keep her at arms length in case I snap and tell her to back off. So far she's been disgusted with the fact that I'll be going back to work after 9months ( even tho I've managed to reduce my hours), disgusted that we didn't find out the gender at the 20 week scan (how is she going to know what colour to buy), disgusted that I didn't want to go pram shopping at 16weeks and finally not impressed that we won't be using fil's name and won't tell her our name choices!!! So her constant 'my baby' comments are tipping me over the edge and now i am just trying to avoid her so she cant wind me up. Very childish of me i know, but the rational part of my brain had disappeared with thus pregnancy. Lots of people are getting on my nerves but she is completely doing my box in confusedconfused. Rant over, I shall now go and sit in a dark corner and breath deeply smile

Stepawayfromthesweeties Tue 29-Jan-13 20:01:59

I'm so glad I've read this, as my mil is also referring to our baby as 'my baby'. She's grandchild obsessed and smothers her other one to death, so I'm trying to keep her at arms length in case I snap and tell her to back off. So far she's been disgusted with the fact that I'll be going back to work after 9months ( even tho I've managed to reduce my hours), disgusted that we didn't find out the gender at the 20 week scan (how is she going to know what colour to buy), disgusted that I didn't want to go pram shopping at 16weeks and finally not impressed that we won't be using fil's name and won't tell her our name choices!!! So her constant 'my baby' comments are tipping me over the edge and now i am just trying to avoid her so she cant wind me up. Very childish of me i know, but the rational part of my brain had disappeared with thus pregnancy. Lots of people are getting on my nerves but she is completely doing my box in confusedconfused. Rant over, I shall now go and sit in a dark corner and breath deeply smile

iamwhaticallpregnant Fri 01-Feb-13 12:03:47

Ha ha!! Completely on board. Well my mother could only have me and if she could have had more she would have had a football team's worth of kids. She has waited (not patiently in any way shape or form) for me to get pregnant and at 30 I finally did. When I told her she wept and said "oh thank Christ, after your last relationship fell apart I thought id be waiting for another 5 years!!" She sees it as HER baby and has already tried to insist on naming it (this sent me over the edge).
On the flip side she has paid for the most beautiful nursery possible jam packed full of brand new baby things - and I know that when I need her after the baby is born I will be so grateful for her help.

You will also find that you go from wanting to murder anyone near by - to loving everyone and weeping with gratefulness! Bloody hormones...

WeeS Fri 01-Feb-13 16:33:01

Haha! I thought it was just me!

On many an occasion I've been reduced to tears or felt raging because of something (quite innocent) that my family have said. The other day my sister was telling me she was on the phone to her friend who announced her pregnancy and my sister had said to her "Ohhh WE'RE expecting too!!!" I didn't say anything but really wanted to grab her roughly by the collar and say NO, WE'RE EXPECTING!!!!!

What's really getting me worried is that OH & baby & I will be living at my parents for the first 6 months til we can move into our own place, which is very generous of my parents but obviously it works in their favour too wink Their house is big and we'll have the top floor of the house to ourselves - bedroom, nursery, bathroom - so we'll have some of our own space. But now my sister, who has been living in London, is planning on moving back up to Scotland and although she hasnt asked them, is planning on living with my folks too for the first few months. And when? Yes, you got it, just before my due date.

I've been quite worried and cried umpteen times to OH that I'm not going to get to hold my baby because everyone else will want a shot!

Whenever I think about it I can feel myself getting really wound up about it so better stop here or I'll turn into bitch-features again and consider getting a door with a lock installed at the top of the stairs again!!!!

Dogsmom I'm assuming all these feelings are completely natural and applaud you for just coming out and saying how you feel smile

curlyclaz13 Fri 01-Feb-13 17:13:16

Snap, I am getting pissed off with everybody else being so excited, I am the one having the baby not you ! all the advice, asking how I am (like you were interested before !) and general being involved, mainly from Oh's parents who have never shown an interest in me up until now and keep telling me to 'look after their grandchild', slightly less interested now it is not a girl though.

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